Back from Parents Weekend in Philly and in need of a non-1966 horror fix, I decided I needed a “recent” trash effort. So, of course, I settled on 1980’s BLOOD BEACH, starring John Saxon and Burt Young as dedicated, exasperated cops in search of a monster that sucks people into the sand. I’m not sure how this one has flown under my radar for, oh, 45 years, but here we are.
After his neighbor gets abducted by the Creature of Blood Beach while he’s out swimming in the ocean, harbor patrolman Harry (David Huffman) ends up realizing he still has feelings for the woman’s estranged daughter who returns to town in search of her mother. Meanwhile, Burt Young (in full Paulie Mode) and his partner are tasked with finding out what happened to the missing woman. The creature abducts, mutilates, and kills more victims (including a dog and Harry’s stewardess “friend”), while the cops and scientists scratch their heads. Eventually, it all comes to a head after they discover the creature’s lair, and Detective Paulie decides to put an end to all this bullshit.
A mashup of JAWS and 1960s creature features, BLOOD BEACH isn’t entirely unwatchable. Saxon is his usual, stalwart self and quips “just when you think it’s safe to go back in the water—you can’t get there” while Young literally plays Detective Paulie (his best moment involves asking Harry what color eyes his stewardess friend “had”). Unfortunately, the whole thing sounds like it was recorded in a closet and it’s hard to make out what the heck is happening anytime the action heads underground. – Dan Taylor
Sitting down to review SLAUGHTER TALES – Johnny Dickie’s VHS-inspired, shot-on-video love letter to trashy low-budget horror cinema – is not an easy task.
Sure, I could slam it for looking cheap and amateurish. But guess what? It was made by a teenager for about $65 and looks only slightly worse than, say, BOARDING HOUSE.
I could definitely complain that it’s often confusing, frequently stupid and occasionally terrible. Then again, the flick’s protagonist (played, naturally, by Dickie) refers to the film-within-a-film as “a pile of shit” and laments that “something tells me this is going to suck” while another character sports a t-shirt that reads “This Movie is Terrible”.
In other words, SLAUGHTER TALES is largely review-proof, a fact that might annoy the hell out of me if I didn’t get such a kick out of its frequently-successful attempts to meld such influences as Lucio Fulci, Andreas Schnaas and Sam Raimi.
The mayhem starts when a teen (Dickie) steals a tape titled SLAUGHTER TALES from a neighborhood garage sale. Despite warnings from a spectre who appears in his bathtub and informs him that the tape is cursed – as well as his own gut feeling that he’s in for a rough 90 minutes – the kid pops in the VHS.
What follows is a horror anthology film-within-a-film interspersed with Dickie’s own observations about what he/we have just witnessed, many of which are so harshly critical that I found myself defending the flick to the on-screen director! Like I said, it’s pretty review-proof – Uwe Boll could learn a lesson or two from this kid.
Eventually, the tape’s contents bleed from the reel world into Johnnie’s as we’re treated to corroding hands, hacked-off appendages, decapitations, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS-style slug creatures, eye violence, demonic possession and a nod to Schnaas’ VIOLENT SHIT franchise.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not about to praise SLAUGHTER TALES as some must-see masterpiece. There are long rough stretches, it’s occasionally hard to tell where the movie-within-a-movie ends, the reliance on “fuck” grows tiresome, and the whole thing probably could have been chopped down to a more user-friendly 75 to 80 minutes without losing any of its impact. (The jokey epilogue featuring notorious ham and Troma honcho Lloyd Kaufman feels especially expendable.)
That said, one can’t help but marvel at what Dickie accomplished with a budget that goes well below “micro”, a cast that seems to be made up mostly of the director, and a reliance on nothing but practical, old school effects (including at least one makeup gag gone wrong).
I’m definitely looking forward to checking out his latest feature – CITY OF THE DREAM DEMONS – in the hopes that Dickie is somebody to keep an eye on. I can’t help but be reminded of THE DEAD NEXT DOOR’s J.R. Bookwalter and his lengthy career as a writer, director and producer, though something tells me that Dickie is more likely to deliver ambitious, over-the-top horror a la Brian Paulin (BONE SICKNESS, CRYPTIC PLASM).
In an era when most kids his age have microscopic attention spans and a what-can-you-do-for-me sense of entitlement, Johnny Dickie gets a ton of respect for putting his $65 where his mouth is and delivering something more than a YouTube clip or viral video to share with friends.
Plus, I can’t help but dig any movie with a line like “you’re not my friend, you’re just an unholy fucktard!”. – Dan Taylor
Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and a total sucker for horror anthologies. This review first appeared in our super-sized 30th anniversary issue, still available at Amazon.
Happy 72nd birthday to underrated genre helmer Jeff Lieberman who has written and directed a handful of offbeat classics like SQUIRM (1976), BLUE SUNSHINE (1977), JUST BEFORE DAWN (1981), and 2004's weird and wonderful SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER, which was discussed at length in the first episode of the late CINESLUDGE podcast (RIP). With today being a VHS Wednesday it seemed like a good opportunity to dig up this review of 1988's REMOTE CONTROL starring a pre-ENTOURAGE Kevin Dillon as a video store clerk. A slightly different version of this review appeared in Exploitation Retrospect #18 from September 1988.
Long before he was a critical darling on ENTOURAGE Kevin Dillon starred in this cable/videotape classic from Jeff Lieberman.
The story, such that it is, concerns a videotape from outer space that takes over people's minds and turns the viewers into homicidal maniacs. When two video store workers are accused of one of the murders they begin to unravel the mystery and take on the evil aliens bent on man's destruction.
Dillon plays "Cosmo", a video store clerk so-nicknamed because of his affinity for sci-fi flicks. Along the way he broods, smokes, wears a leather jacket and metal shinguards, and I'm pretty sure he sports an earring as well. In other words, he acts like he does in every single film he's been in. You have to admire someone who is so sure of their own ability that they refuse to alter their basic portrayal in any way!
Film starts out with a good weirdo-Yuppie S&M demise, and manages to throw a few fun-filled deaths into the proceedings (however, a fight at the videotape factory is beyond dull). Lieberman's not-so-subtle use of 50's kitsch set design and clothing reminiscent of old sci-fi flicks is cute at first, but ends up getting on your nerves after a while. The female lead is played by the lovely Deborah Goodrich (APRIL FOOL'S DAY, SURVIVAL GAME), a woman who could get on my nerves, or any part of my body whenever she wants!
To their credit, the filmmakers give the flick a fairly winning sense of humor and the proceedings aren't taken very seriously. In other words, REMOTE CONTROL is better than it has any right to be. Thumbs up for an entertaining premise, some good humor, and the welcome chance to look at Deborah Goodrich in tight costumes. – Dan Taylor After a long time out of print, director Jeff Lieberman released a 25th anniversary Blu-Ray back in 2013. It appears to still be available from his website in both DVD and Blu-Ray formats.
Archie (Scott Grimes of CRITTERS) is a teenage funeral home assistant for his uncle (John Astin). After some over-the-top bullying by high school jocks, a mortuary prank goes awry and Archie gets canned.
But when an accident turns his jocko adversaries and their big-haired gal pals into zombies it's up to Archie and his tomboy grease-monkey friend Charly (Chery Pollak of tv's THE HEIGHTS and MELROSE PLACE) to save the day.
NIGHT LIFE (aka GRAVE MISDEMEANOURS) takes its fine time getting going and fails to deliver on the horror while most of the comedy falls flat on its face. While it's certainly not the worst slice of 80s zombie horror comedy I've ever seen, it doesn't hold up favorably to similar "teens fight zombies" efforts like NIGHT OF THE CREEPS.
However, we will give bonus points for a completely gratuitous appearance by Tony Geary as a skinny-tie wearing, fast car driving smooth talker who tries to bed Charly. – Dan Taylor Thanks to Bruce Holecheck of CINEMA ARCANA for popping by with this slab of VHS sinema for our enjoyment. And don't be fooled by the trailer (below) that kinda tries to make it look like a vampire flick.
Ray Sharkey is a low-level bank employee who gets lured into helping a global silver magnate (Klaus Kinski) deal with a Latin American strongman (Armand Assante) who wants to seize back his country's silver mines.
Did I mention Sharkey's character was the college roomie of Assante's el presidente? Did I mention Sharkey was seduced by Kinski's exotic wife who he may or may not have known before? (My wife and I couldn't agree on that one.) Did I mention Sharkey's idea of "sexy" is a Fila track suit jacket that makes him look like a high school crossing guard?
Definitely weird and sorta existential – not surprising considering LOVE AND MONEY comes from the mind of FINGERS writer/director James Toback – the flick also features a whole subplot including Sharkey's delusional grandfather (King Vidor) and live-in book dealer galpal. Alas, not nearly enough time is spent on this storyline, which was the best part of this oddball flick.
One wonders if the Warner Archive print runs any longer as the VHS box includes scenes not in the print we watched, though this wouldn't be the first time a VHS sleeve lied to me. Klaus does have a juicy scene at a dinner party for Assante's character and he gets to kill a double-crosser, plus there's lots of short, barked lines of dialogue ("Bring Mr. Levin white wine and a lobster salad!") that made me think he told Toback he'd take the role on the condition that he got the most money for the fewest lines.
Alas, it's for Klaus Kinski and Ray Sharkey completists only. – Dan Taylor Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media. Check out our 130-page 30th Anniversary Issue featuring horror anthologies, mens action novels, video store oddity THE JAR and much more. Available at Amazon, CreateSpace, ebay and the ER website. LOVE AND MONEY is available from Amazon. I can't find a trailer for the flick so here's a clip of Klaus Kinski talking about money...
I would normally be laying the blame on our Fearless Editor for allowing me to watch drivel. But I can't do that here. No sir: I'm personally accepting responsibility for my choosing to view MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986) – because I enjoyed it!
We already know the story: Earth passes through the tail of a comet which causes machines to go haywire (except for the ones in service to the plot). A group of mucho retardos, led by Billy (Emilio Estevez), take refuge in the Dixie Boy Truck Stop and try to survive.
Directed by a coked out Stephen King and featuring a bangin' soundtrack by AC/DC, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is very much, in King's own words, a "moron movie" in terms of plotting, writing and characters. Even by B-movie standards, the inconsistencies on display set the bar very high for incompetence. Why don't ALL the machines come to life? Why do spigots come to life? Why don't the trucks trash the truck stop in the first twenty minutes? Why don't the characters try and escape in the first twenty minutes? Why do some guns come to life but others don't?
Of course, the answer to all these is very simple: the plot demands it. With zero fucks given, the movie plows along in overdrive from one scene to the next, running down common sense like an innocent pedestrian – then backing over it to run it down again. But I'll be goddamned if that doesn't make MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE 98-minutes of pure, dumb fun. Watching this movie unfold, it's not hard to imagine King burying his face in a huge pile of cocaine (a la Tony Montana) and snorting it up like a Hoover vacuum each day before shooting, a wide coke-grin smeared across his face as he attempts to direct.
If I really had make one complaint – "Just one!?" I hear our Fearless Editor screaming – about this film, it would be the cuts demanded by the MPAA which threatened to slap the film with an X-rating. Reportedly, the original uncut version made George A. Romero sick. One famous scene to end up on the cutting room floor was a boy's head exploding as he's crushed by a steamroller. Fuck you, MPAA!
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE might not have the best reputation, but it's highly recommended if you're in the mood for some mindless fun filled with explosions and stupid decisions. And here's to hoping Stephen King will release the uncut version, which he supposedly has in his possession, sometime in the near feature. – Evan Romero
Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER (including our mammoth 30th anniversary issues available from Amazon) and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). His short story “Touch” was recently published in REJECTED FOR CONTENT 5: SANITARIUM. You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about OVER THE TOP. MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is available from Amazon.
A couple summers ago my father-in-law and I were killing time between sitting on the beach and having cocktails when he flipped to OVER THE TOP (1987) on one of the cable channels. A sucker for a sports movie he settled in even though he had never seen it and it was about halfway through. In an attempt to bring him up to speed I started explaining the movie's plot as well as the backstory behind Cannon paying Sly big bucks, conning some poor slobs to market OVER THE TOP toys, etc. I'm still not sure if he believes anything I told him that day. Naturally, when Evan Romero dropped a hint that he'd be willing to review the flick for an upcoming VHS Wednesday, well, I couldn't resist. As long as I didn't have to watch it, too.
I don't know how in the hell I rope myself into reviewing stuff like OVER THE TOP for VHS Wednesdays. I guess I'm just real good at shooting myself in the foot. Of course our Fearless Editor saw me about to blow my big toe off, yet he did nothing to stop me. He knew my trepidation; knew how much I feared sticking this thing into my poor VCR. But there he sat, waiting to smile at my misfortune with some popcorn and a craft beer in hand.
Lincoln Hawk (Sylvester Stallone) is a truck driver who walked out on his family ten years ago. His wife, Christina (Susan Blakley), is gearing up to croak and wants Lincoln to bond with his estranged son, Michael (David Mendenhall). When Christina kicks the bucket, Michael's grandfather (Robert Loggia) steps in to keep them apart – permanently! But this being an upbeat 80's movie, we all know it'll end happily with some paltry and inspirational philosophy dropped along the way. Oh, and there's some arm wrestling thrown in because they wanted to make a stupid version of ROCKY.
OVER THE TOP is so damn tacky you could hang a poster with it. At the same time, you have to give it to Cannon Films for having the audacity to take a truck driving film, a father/son bonding film and an arm wrestling film and roll it into one clump of idiotic rubbish, then serve it up on a platter of sheer stupidity. On the one hand, you wanna laugh at the harebrained proceedings as the film moves along with zero fucks given; on the other, you wanna castigate yourself for watching it and never show your face in public again. Sure, it's fun to poke fun at, but just know you'll be doing it more for reasons of desperately trying to preserve what little dignity you have left (but if you're watching OVER THE TOP, it probably means you had none to begin with).
Performance-wise, no one gives a crap. Stallone looks as though he's embarrassed for himself and those watching; he moves about the sets and says his lines because it's required of him. Robert Loggia, usually dependable, looks like he'd rather be getting a root canal and a colonoscopy at the same time. The arm wrestlers are antagonizing in that 80's wrestling style and come off like cartoons – and not in a good way. Watch out for one who looks like Discount Apollo Creed.
I regret going one-on-one with OVER THE TOP. It's hot, buttery caca made for the sole purpose of showing that men with muscles can also have emotions (it fails). If it really wanted to be a good flick, it should have been about Lincoln losing the arm wrestling match and Michael, then turning into a psychotic truck driver and chasing down Dennis Weaver. Now THAT would have been a film worth watching. And one less embarrassing. – Evan Romero
Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). His short story “Touch” was recently published in REJECTED FOR CONTENT 5: SANITARIUM. You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about Troma's TERROR FIRMER. OVER THE TOP is available from Amazon, you sick bastard.
Allen Garfield is one of my very favorite character actors of all time. He's one of those guys whose very appearance, however brief, will enliven any movie. (I think my favorite Garfield performance was as Fishbine, the owner of the ambulance company in 1976's MOTHER, JUGS AND SPEED.) SKATEBOARD (aka SKATEBOARD: THE MOVIE) is a rare starring vehicle for him and he makes good use of his inflated screen time. He really milks his lovable loser character for all its worth but you only wish that the screenwriters (one of whom is future Law & Order czar Dick Wolf) gave him better material to work with.
Garfield plays a talent agent who owes his ex-wife a lot of money and a notorious gangster even more. Desperate for some quick cash, he cooks up a scheme to promote a skateboard team after he witnesses their ringleader jump over his car while riding a board. Garfield takes the kids up and down the coast performing in skateboarding exhibitions under the moniker "The Los Angeles Wheels". When his top skater leaves the team abruptly, the youngster Brad (Leif Garrett, yes, Leif Garrett) steps in at the last minute for the big downhill race.
This was made a few years before guys like Tony Hawk and the Bones Brigade made skating cool. Because of that, most of the skateboarding scenes showcase the skaters doing more freestyle types of tricks. Still, the shots of kids skating on downhill courses, in drainage pipes, and in empty swimming pools aren't bad for what they are.
That pretty much sums up the movie. It's okay for what it is. It's amiable for the most part, but ultimately it's harmless and forgettable.
Garfield's performance carries the film a long way. It seems like THE BAD NEWS BEARS was probably the inspiration as it features a foul-mouthed loser in charge of a bunch of kids (except for the fact that these kids, unlike The Bears, are all good at what they do). Garfield's exasperated kvetching while bossing the kids around is good for a few laughs on its own. If only he actually had some legitimate zingers to toss out, the flick could've been a real winner. espite the weak script, Garfield plays the role as well as you'd expect him to, and most of the kids are naturalistic and appealing.
Since it's a definite product of its time, you can have fun watching it and knowing that they would never be able to get away with some of this stuff nowadays. or a kid's movie, there's a surprising amount of drug talk early on (a drug dealer tries to sell Garfield some Maui Wowie while he's in the unemployment line) and there's a subplot about Garfield having to keep his star skater from messing around with a younger teammate (you know, because nothing sells a kiddie flick like a couple of statutory rape jokes). I also got a laugh from the scene where the star skater was arrested for drinking and skating. (I'm not kidding.)
As a sports film, SKATEBOARD is predictable and formulaic. Even within that genre, it comes up short as the skateboarding scenes get a bit repetitive after a while. (Future Direct to Video star Chad McQueen was one of the skaters.) Thanks to the detailed vans, short-shorts, and bellbottoms it almost (pardon the pun) skates by on pure '70s nostalgia alone. I mean no matter how patchy and overlong it was, I can't completely hate any movie in which Orson Bean plays himself. – Mitch Lovell
Mitch Lovell is a frequent contributor to the print version of Exploitation Retrospect. He is also the editor of The Video Vacuum and author of several film books including the recent Double Vision: Hollywood vs. Hollywood. He last wrote about THE DOGFIGHTERS for VHS Wednesday. SKATEBOARD is available from Amazon.
The Japanese have GODZILLA and its numerous sequels, reboots, remakes and whathaveyou. The Americans have KING KONG and all its sequels, remakes and a crossover with Godzilla. The British have GORGO, one of the better giant monster flicks not in the previous two franchises. The Brits may have a reputation as a stuck up lot, but GORGO proves this doesn't apply to the destruction of London.
A volcanic eruption off the coast of Ireland unearths a giant monster. Joe (Bill Travers) and Sam (William Sylvester) see only dollar signs in their eyes and decide to take the monster back with them and sell it to the circus. But, in a plot device not utilized before, they discover that the 65-foot-tall monster is only the infant - with the parent being over 200-feet-tall! Soon, the parent emerges from the ocean and begins trashing London in search of its offspring. Will the army be able to wipe out this creature? Or will parent and child be reunited?
What makes GORGO such an excellent film is that, despite appearances, the monster is not the villain here. Instead, villainy is placed at the feet of Sam and Joe, whose greed and opportunism is the catalyst to London's destruction. Unlike, say, GODZILLA, where the monster, though created by human meddling, is the villain and we are to root against it, GORGO asks audiences to sympathize with the monster. It's not out to harm anyone. It just wants its child back. Essentially, GORGO is TAKEN with a giant monster instead of Liam Neeson. Awesome.
But what's a giant monster movie without some destruction? GORGO has plenty of that. Watch as Big Ben, Waterloo Bridge and Piccadilly Circus are trashed, smashed and thrashed! The model work is exemplary, especially for its time. One awesome shot has Gorgo taking a huge chunk out of Waterloo Bridge: looking closely, you can see people falling out of it to their deaths. The blue screen might be a bit dodgy here and there, but it's better than many productions from the same era. GORGO even contains a small homage to the original GODZILLA: the army attempts to stop him with powerlines, much like the Japanese did in GODZILLA.
And I just have to mention how cute Gorgo and Son look when they wiggle their ears like a small puppy.
Overall, GORGO is an excellent time at the movies. With stuff like SHIN GODZILLA threatening your insomnia (Editor's Note: stop back tomorrow for Evan's review of the latest Toho monsterfest meets bureaucratic primer), why not spend some time with something that ISN'T gonna put you to sleep? Something like GORGO, one of the best giant monster flicks out there.
This review is Gorgo Approved. – Evan Romero
Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES. GORGO is available from Amazon.
I've been a fan of horror anthologies since I was a little kid and my Mom sat me down to watch DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS... but you can read all about that in the upcoming Exploitation Retrospect #53 due out later this month. In the meantime here's a review of the twisted 1986 portmanteau DEADTIME STORIES ripped screaming from the pages of ER #5 originally published in May 1987. Not to be confused with the wretched DEADTIME STORIES hosted by George Romero, this fun flick features Scott Valentine and was directed by Jeffrey Delman, who would not helm another feature until 2002's RANDOM SHOOTING IN LA.
Every once in a great while a film comes along that successfully blends the broad aspects of horror and comedy. Of course, there are always films that try: HOUSE, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2, etc. However, there are some that can combine the two: TOXIC AVENGER, RE-ANIMATOR, CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH, and just added to this list is the fiendishly funny DEADTIME STORIES.
The film is a very low budget horror anthology flick built around this tried and true premise. A young boy is staying with his uncle, and because he is afraid of the dark he requests to hear some bedtime stories. Well, Uncle Mark is a bit demented, so he gives the kid what he wants.
The first story stars a young Scott Valentine, a current teen heartthrob due to his role on TV's 'Family Ties' and his starring role in the current MY DEMON LOVER. He stars as a young boy who has sold himself into the services of two witches. The witches are trying to raise their sister from the dead, and Valentine's character must help them get the necessary ingredients. The tale has some intense effects, such as a severed hand that seems to take on a life of its own, a face-hugging heart, and (in the highlight of the film), the retransformation of the dead witch: she begins as an old, decayed skeleton and ends up as a full, revengeful demon bitch!
The second story is a modern-day update of "Little Red Riding Hood" which is skewed due to the fact that Uncle Mark was watching the 'Miss Nude Bayone' Competition on the tube. Red (or Rcahel [sic] as she's called) is now a firm-bodied high school cheerleader who picks up the wrong prescription at the store. So, the big bad wolf (dressed in leather pants and skinny tie) comes looking for her and the story follows the familiar pattern all the way until the infamous "Grandma, what big teeth you have" line.
The final story is a wickedly funny retelling of the "Goldilocks and the 3 Bears" tale. This time Goldi Loxx (named after Golda Meir!!) is a psychotic killer who keeps the corpses of her dead suitors in the house. When "Papa" and "Baby" Baer escape from a mental institution with the help of "Momma" Baer they head for their hideout in the woods – where Goldi just happens to be staying. Naturally, Goldi fits right in with the family and they combine their powers to rob and create general mayhem everywhere they can. The most incredible scene in the film comes when "Baby" Baers [sic] plays a game of "She Loves Me/She Loves Me Not" with the severed arm of one of Goldi's victims.
This is a twisted film, and a fine example of what horror anthologies should be more like. I highly recommend DEADTIME STORIES, so see it quick or wait for the inevitable video release. Four stars. (R) – Dan Taylor Dan Taylor is the editor and publisher of Exploitation Retrospect, which celebrates 30 years of existence this month. You can read more about his love of horror anthology flicks in the new issue, available soon. He last wrote about FUTURE FORCE for VHS Wednesday. DEADTIME STORIES is available from Amazon.
Despite its reputation, watching Bruno Mattei's NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES (aka HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD) was a watershed moment in my appreciation of trash cinema. ER co-founder and longtime pal Lou Goncey and I rented it on VHS one September evening and enjoyed the hell out of its mix of zombies, bloodshed, gore, nature footage, Play-Doh masks and borderline incoherence. In other words, we'd found a movie to champion. A few weeks later we watched in amazement as a print of the flick – under the title HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD – unspooled at the Super 130 Drive-In on a cool, nearly deserted October evening. Naturally, when the projectionist/security guard started showing the reels out of order we got out of our lawn chairs, hid our beers and made our way back to the "projection booth" to inform him of his error. What we got instead was a shrug of the shoulders as he admitted "yeah, I know... I just didn't think anybody would care!". That event only enhanced the film in my eyes and it remains a favorite of the genre to this day. So, when Evan Romero professed his mutual love for the flick and offered up an appreciation of the VHS for a combo 31 Days of Fright/VHS Wednesday, how could I resist...
When Bruno Mattei's name is on the marquee, everyone is guaranteed to have a good time. With NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES, not only do you get Mattei, but you get gut-munching zombies as well! Seriously, what's not to love?
A facility called the Hope Center leaks a toxic chemical which turns people into zombies. Elsewhere, a team of commandos dispatches some eco-terrorists, then head to the Hope Center as all communication has been lost. En route they encounter a female reporter and her Yanni look-a-like assistant, who accompany them on their mission. Standing between the group and their destination are hordes of flesh-eating zombies ready to chow down at a moment's notice! Can our heroes elude the living dead and make it out alive? Or will they become nothing more than zombie fodder?
NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES has a reputation as being one of the worst zombie films ever made. I mean, with the crack team of Mattei behind the camera and TROLL 2's Claudio Fragrasso behind the script, what else should you expect? Sure, the flick is a bit loopy and unpolished, and it "borrows" liberally from other sources (Goblin's DAWN OF THE DEAD score and footage from the 1976 documentary THE REAL CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST being the most obvious), but if good films are all about providing entertainment, then NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES is a good film.
What NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES lacks in refinement it more than makes up for in fun, and the first ten minutes shows it isn't here to fuck around. Wham! Bam! Zombies! Oh, you wanted some build-up and character development? Forget it pal – this is Mattei. The best you're gonna get is right here, right now; and some walking, talking cardboard cutouts. But hey, you do get Zantoro, played by Frank Garafalo, one of the coolest characters ever to traipse through a zombie movie. Oh, and you get a commando who likes to engage in a bit of cross-dressing. Green tutus and top hats never looked so good.
Of course you get plenty of guts and crimson spillage. Gorehounds, rejoice! Fun is at hand! And I've got to admit the effects are pretty solid. And where else are you gonna see a cat tear its way out of a zombie's stomach? Talk about indigestion... Oh, and did I mention that NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES contains one of the coolest zombie kills ever to grace the silver screen?
If I really had to bitch about anything, it's that the VHS transfer from Creature Features is horrible. Everything is dark and fuzzy and grainy – so much so that at times it is hard to tell what is going on, especially during the village attack. Was that a zombie that just passed by? Who's shooting who? Hello, I'd like a bit of light with my nighttime so I can tell just what in the hell is going on! Thankfully though, the DVD from Blue Underground (under the title HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD) is clearer than Caribbean waters. So pick that one up if you can.
NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES is tacky, wacky, crude, cheesy – in short, a poor man's zombie film. But it is a whole helluva lotta fun, guaranteed to go well with your beer. So check it out and make this an October worth remembering. – Evan Romero
Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about MAD COW for Troma Tuesday. NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES aka HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD is available from Amazon (on a double feature BluRay with Mattei's RATS: A NIGHT OF TERROR).
There was a time – back in the early 90s – when the events of THE LAST BOY SCOUT (1991) seemed ludicrous. Entertaining, yes, but ludicrous all the same. But with each passing season and its corresponding murder convictions, suspensions for domestic abuse, PED scandals and extravagant, choreographed primetime intros, are we that far away from a player pulling a gun on another player on the field? In other words, the NFL season starts tomorrow night so it's a great night (or day) for football and Evan Romero's look at this Sleazy Sportsman Hall of Famer. Take it away Evan – with a little help from Bill Medley...
Ah, football season. The time of year for arguments to break out on Facebook over whose team is better and for football fans to get drunk and kill each other. It happens to coincide with our Fearless Editor hitting me up and desperately begging for VHS action film reviews. "Action! Action! I need action! Bullets, explosions, manly men with manly egos doing manly things! What have ya got, Evan?" Hmmm... Football season, manly men, bullets flying, shit blowing up... "How about THE LAST BOY SCOUT?" I say. His joyful scream sounds like a wolf with ragged vocal chords attempting a falsetto. "Yes, yes! Bruce Willis! Damon Wayans! Bullets and football! Stuff goes boom! Send it on over!"
Private investigator Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis) is given the task of watching an "exotic dancer," Cory (Halle Berry), who's been having some problems with some goons. Sounds pretty routine. But when Cory ends up a victim of a professional hit, Joe knows somethin' ain't right. Further investigation shows that Sheldon Marcone (Noble Willingham), owner of the L.A. Stallions, put the hit on Cory – who may have been blackmailing Marcone. Teaming up with ex-L.A. Stallions quarterback Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), Joe sets out to solve the murder and put the goons on the bench.
When people do the HIGH FIDELITY list shit and ask me for my Top 5 Action Movies to Watch on a Sunday Afternoon, THE LAST BOY SCOUT is amongst them. To me, the film has it all: fun heroes, despicable villains, exciting and rousing action sequences, lots of violence, one-liners aplenty, and solid comedy. Revisiting the flick after all these years, I expected to find myself jaded and on the verge of falling asleep. Nope. This film still rouses feelings in me that not even the anticipation of great sex can do. I just sit there on the edge of my seat, eyes wide and glued to the screen, spasms of elation racing through my body that make me look like a man with Parkinson's having a seizure.
Willis and Wayans are perfect in their roles. Their chemistry is so great it's hard to believe they hated working with each other and actually despised each other (so much for a sequel). And how can we forget about slimy ol' Milo, played with sleazy perfection by the late Taylor Negron? Hell, ALL the actors here, even those in bit parts, create memorable and fun characters you just can't help but love or hate. Even that "pimp-lookin' motherfucker with a hat" shines in his very brief time on screen.
The action scenes had me on the edge of my seat the entire time – even though I already knew what was coming. The final confrontation between Milo and Joe still ranks as my favorite scene, one that I often rewind and watch again. My only major gripe is that some of the violent scenes are trimmed after it was originally rated NC-17. Imagine just how bloody Milo's demise would have been had the scurvy cocksuckers at the MPAA left their hands off it! Bastards!
But the comedy is where THE LAST BOY SCOUT truly shines. It has more wit and one-liners than any action flick has a right to have and they are guaranteed to have you running to the end zone with laughter, "and then some."
THE LAST BOY SCOUT scores a touchdown in every aspect and is guaranteed to be enjoyed by all. So grab a beer (preferably a craft beer) and your football buds and check it out. I mean, it's better than going to a game and risking death at the hands of drunken, enraged fans... – Evan Romero
Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about THE TOXIC AVENGER PART III for Troma Tuesday.
A couple weeks ago ER contributor Evan Romero wrote up his initial impressions of David Prior's shot-on-video head-scratcher SLEDGEHAMMER and it sent me scrambling back through the ER-chives for my own review. While scanning the review I noticed that I mentioned a couple other Prior credits including FUTURE FORCE with David Carradine and Robert Tessier... which I'd just grabbed during a men's action novel and VHS haul at a local thrift store. In other words, The Trash Gods were informing me that 1989's FUTURE FORCE was next up in the VHS Wednesday rotation.
Set in the really not very distant future of 1991 (!), FUTURE FORCE posits a world where crime is out of control. Prisons are overloaded, gun battles take place in our streets and the privatization of law and order by the Civilian Operated Police State (or COPS) has pretty much meant the death of justice as we know it. On the mean streets of 1991 you're presumed guilty until proven innocent, although you still have to go to the DMV.
"Action superstar" David Carradine stars as John Tucker, the COPS-iest of the COPS, a nut-punching, teeth-busting, denim-wearing, paunchy badass who gets intel from wheelchair-bound Billy (shades of Oracle!) and keeps a bionic arm complete with cool computer lightning effects and a laser in the trunk of his car.
Carradine isn't happy with either the state of COPS or the condition of his fellow cops and it's easy to see why. They spend most of their down time in sleazy strip clubs and they're all pretty out of shape. (The flick practically screams for the presence of the one and only Rick Dean as Carradine's boozy sidekick.)
When a nosy reporter threatens to expose COPS, the company's CEO puts a $100,000 bounty on her head for the crime of treason and it ends up pitting the bored-looking Carradine against his fellow bounty hunters once he's declared "wanted dead or alive".
Borderline entertaining and slightly Troma-esque, my viewing of FUTURE FORCE was helped out considerably by a couple glasses of high-powered viewing booze (aka pints of 9% ABV Troegs Nimble Giant) and a brief appearance by Dawn Wildsmith and the most outrageous mall hair this side of South Jersey circa 1984.
Points off for no trailers at the beginning of the flick but bonus points for a scenery chewing performance from Robert Tessier (THE LONGEST YARD's Mr. Shokner) and the great 80s/90s villain attire worn by COPS CEO Jason Adams (DEADLY PREY's William Zipp). If only the action had been more kung-fu than kung-eh, but really we just want to see Carradine and the remote control arm take out the baddies.
Not the off-the-wall action spectacle I was hoping for from Prior, but just what you need when your daughter and her friends are tying up the big screen TV with a Harry Potter movie. Prior also directed the 1990 followup FUTURE ZONE in which John Tucker's son (Ted Prior, the director's brother) goes back in time to save Papa John (Carradine) from being killed by thugs. And, yes, I need my head examined because I'm actively in search of a copy of the sequel.
In the meantime, David Carradine will visit a future VHS Wednesday in CRIME ZONE (with Sherilyn Fenn) and we'll go back to the future with FUTURE WAR (starring Daniel Bernhardt) and FUTURE FEAR (with the killer cast of Jeff Wincott, Maria Ford and Stacy Keach!). – Dan Taylor
After taking a few weeks off for a final vacation before school starts we're back with an all-new installment of VHS Wednesday and I hope you're enjoying these as much as I am. This review came about because longtime ER contributor Jonathan Plombon mentioned on Facebook that he was watching AMERICAN NINJA 5 and, honestly, I didn't know there was an AN5 (though I did grab copies of installments 3 and 4 at the Savers a few weeks back for a future installment of this column). Anyway, I suggested Jonathan write the flick up for my/your edification and, well, here you go. So, while we wait for AMERICAN NINJA APPRENTICE enjoy Jonathan's look at this overlooked stepchild of a classic 80s/90s action franchise. And if you have a VHS favorite you'd like to share with our readers, drop me a line at editor@dantenet.com!
In 1992, AMERICAN NINJA 5 continued that proud tradition forged by franchises like ZOMBIE or THE CURSE where a completely unrelated movie somehow becomes part of a series. It's like the child in an otherwise functional family that no one really wants, but that you have to accept because he's packaged with the wife. Not that AMERICAN NINJA 5 (originally named AMERICAN DRAGONS) is unwanted or worthy of stuffing in the basement NEVER to see the light of day. It deserves more than that-like seeing the light of day when he has to mow the lawn or wash the car.
AMERICAN NINJA 5 follows Joe Kastle (David Bradley, who kind of returns from the previous installments, but not really since he plays a totally different character because it's a totally different movie), who is assigned to babysitting a teenaged child named Hiro (Lee Reyes, the Junior National Karate Champion) by his Master Tetsun (Pat Morita, who shows up twice in the film, something that you wouldn't expect considering his placement on the box). As this is going down, Joe becomes involved with Lisa (Ann Dupont), the daughter of a scientist who has developed a powerful insecticide called ZB-12 that can be deadly to humans in large quantities. Of course, there's some curmudgeon who wants it to control the world, and off goes Joe and Hiro to brew up some child-endangering martial-arts mayhem.
You'll be seeing a lot of Hiro in this flick. He's a real modern '90s kid who would much rather play his Sega Game Gear (which is identified by name several times) than do anything physical (reminds me of myself), a position that he eventually changes when he sees how badass Joe is when he's kung-fu fighting.
The early '90s were a time when people loved to watch kids thrown in to dangerously violent situations (see 3 NINJAS and HOME ALONE). AMERICAN NINJA 5 is just another installment in the genre. Most of the time, the kids in these films are annoying, pompous brats whom the writers try to make "charming" by filling their dialog with smart-alecky remarks. And Hiro is as charming as they come. He never really gets his comeuppance, but he does cry in one scene, so you do have that to look forward to.
Along with the violence, there's also a weird theme of sexuality riddled throughout the film. For starters, Hiro is starting to notice girls and because of which, he constantly tells Joe about his new fuzzy feelings. Then an even weirder situation arises when Lisa invites Joe and Hiro over to her boat for dinner. Joe leaves Hiro alone so he can retire to the bottom of the boat to, I guess, have sex with Lisa, leaving Hiro up above to hear all the moaning for himself. All I could think about was how awkward this would be, both for Hiro and Joe, and probably Lisa, as well. Sadly, we never will find out how weird it could be since ninjas invade the boat. It's a miscue by the writers who probably should have kept the scene playing out just a little longer so the audience could really feel sick to their stomachs.
And this is the only time you could feel sick during the movie, because it's hardly graphic. If you're on the lookout for the traditional AMERICAN NINJA fare - flying fists and heads-a-poppin' - you won't find it here. This is strictly PG-13. One fighting sequence even teases a few severed fingers, only to reveal that Joe cut some fruit instead. Depressing.
It's not that this reviewer didn't care for the film. I did. It's just not the video that I want to be responsible for, checking its homework and buying it new school clothes. It's more like a great grandson that you see from time to time and although you never really know which grandson he is, you still give him a dollar and then move on to more important things like sleeping and trying to forget that you'll probably die before the next presidential election. – Jonathan Plombon Jonathan Plombon is a longtime ER contributor and most recently wrote about WAVE Productions for ER 52 (see our store or buy at Amazon). Look for more from him in our upcoming Super-Sized 30th Anniversary Edition, coming in October! AMERICAN NINJA 5 is available from Amazon.
Robert Davi and Alexander Godunov first united on the big screen for 1988's smash hit action thriller DIE HARD. Eight years later they'd re-team – with ROAD HOUSE baddie Ben Gazzara in tow – for the slightly less popular THE DOGFIGHTERS. Mitch Lovell plunked down his two bits for a look in this week's installment of VHS Wednesday.
Part of the fun of watching old VHS tapes is seeing the trailers that play before the main feature. On this tape we get previews for not one, but two classic films from 1996: THE SUBSTITUTE and THE ARRIVAL. Both trailers are, frankly, underwhelming and don't really hint at the awesomeness that either film contains. The trailer for THE ARRIVAL does feature a great tagline though: "Stop watching the skies and start watching your back!" Then the feature presentation begins:
Robert Davi stars as a top Navy pilot named Rowdy who loses his job when he strikes a superior officer. He then ekes out a living by running drugs in a little two-seater airplane. A shady CIA agent (Ben Gazzara) frames Rowdy for murder and blackmails him into pulling a job for him. It seems a Russian baddie (Alexander Godunov in his final film role) is building a nuclear reactor and it's up to Rowdy to shut him down.
I've always felt Davi made a better villain than hero, but THE DOGFIGHTERS (aka THE ZONE and ZONE 99: NUCLEAR TARGET) finds him playing one of his best hero roles. In his down-and-out phase he wears a bandana and sunglasses (which makes him resemble Little Steven Van Zandt from The E Street Band). Once he switches over to a suit and tie ensemble he pulls off the suave character effortlessly. There's one sequence where he eludes an assassin that is worthy of a James Bond movie. Once Davi is cornered, he jumps off a bridge, lands on a passing party boat, and emerges pouring a glass of champagne. He even raises his glass to his indignant pursuer as he's making his getaway!
It also helps enormously that Davi is given some priceless dialogue. Seriously, Schwarzenegger would be envious at some of the one-liners that our hero gets in this one. When he's flying he says stuff like "Hold on to your sphincter!" While drinking in a bar, a woman tells him he's going to trash his liver and he replies "My liver is long gone!" My favorite line came during a scene where Davi's being chased through a marketplace. He hits a guy in the face with a slab of raw meat and quips "Hope you like it rare!"
The other performers fare decently enough. Ben Gazzara can do this kind of role in his sleep, but even if he was sleepwalking through his performance (which he isn't) he'd still be fun to watch. Alexander Godunov gives one of his best performances as he fills his character with a touch of class and dignity. Even in the smallest scenes he seems totally invested, and when he's deep in thought, you can almost see the wheels turning as he's weighing his options.
Although the film gets off to a strong start, it eventually falls into a predictable pattern: Davi does some snooping around, gets surrounded by Godunov's men and has to find a way to slip out of danger. The action and stunt work is solid for the most part (like when Davi punches a bad guy out of a plane in mid-flight) and is comparable to some of the better Direct-to-Video films of the day, which helps somewhat. Even these sequences tend to get repetitive before the end credits roll. The final dogfight between Davi and Godunov is a bit of a (pardon the pun) washout, too.
THE DOGFIGHTERS was directed by Barry Zetlin, a name I thought sounded familiar. So I checked IMDB to learn that he has edited some of my favorite (and not-so favorite) horror and exploitation movies of the '80s and '90s. There are just too many titles in his filmography to list here, but if you have time, check out his IMDB page and get a load of some of the films Zetlin cut. As for his directing career, he only has one other film to his credit (the multi-director John Ritter flick MAN OF THE YEAR). It's a shame because while not perfect, THE DOGFIGHTERS is proof that he could've gone on to a reasonably solid directing career.
Now that I know Zetlin's editing background, it occurs to me that maybe he should've given the flick another pass at the editing table. The episodic nature sometimes makes it feel longer than it is (particularly in the third act). Thankfully, Davi's charismatic performance helps keep you entertained through the occasional lulls. – Mitch Lovell Mitch Lovell is a frequent contributor to the print version of Exploitation Retrospect. He is also the editor of The Video Vacuum and author of several film books including the recent Double Vision: Hollywood vs. Hollywood. This is his first piece for the ER blog. THE DOGFIGHTERS is available at Amazon and finer thrift stores everywhere. Unfortunately, I could not locate a trailer for THE DOGFIGHTERS for you to enjoy. However, you can go to YouTube and watch countless tv appearances in which Davi extols the virtues of a Trump Presidency.
On Friday, July 29th The Big G returns to Japanese cinemas with GODZILLA RESURGENCE. And for those of us who complained that Gareth Edwards' 2014 GODZILLA featured too much crying Bryan Cranston and not enough, you know, Godzilla, this new flick seems to solve that problem. To celebrate the return of the big guy to the big screen Evan Romero takes a trip to the VHS vault with a look at GODZILLA 1985.
The first Godzilla flick I watched was 1998's GODZILLA. Though I often caught bits of the originals on television, I'd never been able to actually sit and watch them for whatever reason. At first, I enjoyed the 1998 version. But my cousin, who was a huge Godzilla fan, told me I needed to watch the originals and that they were far better. I asked for a suggestion; he offered GODZILLA 1985 (the Americanized version of THE RETURN OF GODZILLA). After watching it, I was hooked, and the 1998 version began fading from memory...
Godzilla is back and just as pissed off – and is making a beeline for Tokyo. His destruction of a Russian submarine makes the Russians furious and intent on using nuclear weapons against Godzilla. The Americans are here – with journalist Steve Martin (Raymond Burr) in tow – to make the film marketable in America. However, the Japanese don't need no help against Godzilla as they have a secret weapon: Super-X, an attack plane that blows shit up. Now, Godzilla must contend with this pesky metal fly while trampling Tokyo and its citizens. Will Godzilla succeed in leveling Tokyo? Or will the Japanese utilize legit science to lure Godzilla to yet another grave?
GODZILLA 1985 was billed as a direct sequel to GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS, ignoring all the installments in between. Here, Godzilla returns as the villain and as a metaphor for nuclear weapons. But we don't really give a crap about the metaphorical aspects of Godzilla: we just wanna see The Big G destroy some shit. GODZILLA 1985 delivers on this. He destroys buildings, melts tanks, stomps on pesky humans, and blows shit up with his radioactive breath. The little child in each of us will be going bonkers with glee.
Watching this as an adult, I noticed just how out of place the American-made footage is and it how much it impedes the flow of the movie. Really, the American footage is here for no reason other than marketing purposes. Hell, the only productive thing they do is stop a Russian-launched nuclear missile (this subplot was slightly altered for the American release). Other than that, it's just them tossing about ideas or making lame wisecracks or spouting hammy dialogue – or all three at once! Raymond Burr is here only to shoot down the military's ideas, look intense, and wax poetically about Godzilla. Oh, and to collect a paycheck.
The Japanese footage, on the other hand, flows smoothly and feels natural. While the characters are little more than cardboard cutouts for Godzilla to stomp on, you might actually find yourself caring about one or two of them and hope they survive Godzilla's Tokyo vacation (the one I wanted to survive, sadly, doesn't).
Despite its flaws, GODZILLA 1985 provides solid entertainment guaranteed to make you feel like a kid again. Even as an adult, it still ranks as my favorite Godzilla flick and I'll cherish it forever.
And, finally, THE RETURN OF GODZILLA is making its Blu-ray debut this September thanks to the fine folks at Kraken Releasing. Sadly though, due to legal issues, GODZILLA 1985 won't be coming with it. Still, fans should be excited to finally be able to view the original in all its Big G glory. I know I am. – Evan Romero Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about SGT. KABUKIMAN NYPD for Troma Tuesday. GODZILLA 1985 is available from Amazon and THE RETURN OF GODZILLA is available for pre-order.
A week ago a fellow thrifter sent me photos of a local store packed to the brim with men's action novels featuring The Executioner, The Death Merchant, The Destroyer, Able Team, Phoenix Force and more. When I got there the next day I scooped up a few dozen titles but not before almost passing out at the sheer volume of low-budget VHS action that had also been dropped on the shelves. After breaking out in a cold sweat and initially filling my cart with about 30 tapes I collected myself and whittled the pile down to a half-dozen. Surviving the cut was this week's VHS Wednesday outing, the Kung-Fu Kane and Abel tale MARTIAL OUTLAW from director Kurt Anderson. Oh, by the way, that Troegs Nimble Giant pictured at right with the counter card that came with the VHS tape is awesome.
"We're not ever gonna be even!"
Do you have a brother? Does he bust your chops about your job? Your clothes? The gifts you buy his wife? Do you ever feel like sucker punching him in the nuts and/or doing a spinning kick that lands on his stupid face?
Then 1993's MARTIAL OUTLAW is the movie for you!
Jeff Wincott (the superb DEADLY BET, WHEN THE BULLET HITS THE BONE) stars as DEA agent Kevin White, an ass-kicking, by-the-book Fed who is set to crack a drug ring run by Rachenko (Vladimir Skomarovsky), a former KGB agent hiding his operations behind an import/export business. White plants an informant on the inside by offering him his own grocery store (!) and follows the trail down to Los Angeles.
Unfortunately, his trek to the City of Angels brings about an awkward family reunion with his older brother Jack (Gary Hudson), his alcoholic father (Richard Jaeckel), and Jack's wife Lori (Krista Errickson) who may or may not be harboring a flame for her brother-in-law.
Complicating matters is Jack's preponderance for operating on both sides of the law and it isn't long before he sees a payday from the Russians as his ticket out of town. (Yes, Jack is a complete dick who can't wait to leave his boozy pop and perky wife behind, screwing up his brother's big case in the process.)
It might come as a bit of a surprise that it required five writers to come up with MARTIAL OUTLAW'S story, especially since the last half of the flick can basically be summarized as "battling brothers kick Russian mob ass". Wincott is perfectly serviceable as the spin-kicking good guy while Hudson's smarmy bad boy demeanor (also on display in the great ROAD HOUSE) makes you simultaneously root for him and against him.
Most of the fights (courtesy of choreographer Jeff Pruitt) are nothing you haven't seen before, though the "Russian Circle" segment in which Kevin beats the shit out of about 30 guys using barbells, free weights, sticks and more is certainly the flick's action highlight.
Bonus points for Al (Endo) Leong, giant cell phones, a beefy Russian henchman who looks like Martin Kove, car wash subterfuge, Kevin's ugly shooting range sweater and lines like "Who am I? I'm the guy that's gonna nail your ass!" delivered with stone-faced sincerity.
The Republic video VHS includes trailers for INFESTED (aka TICKS) with Seth Green and Clint Howard and the jaw-dropping TERMINATOR rip-off APEX which immediately went on my radar. – Dan Taylor Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and has a healthy relationship with his two older brothers. He last wrote about the excruciating NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET for Throwback Thursday. MARTIAL OUTLAW is available at Amazon and finer thrift stores everywhere.
Welcome to another new feature here at the ER Blog... VHS Wednesday! Since we're all so spoiled with Blu-Ray releases of everything from the latest mega-hit and neo-trash to lovingly restored versions of such dubious classics as DR. BUTCHER, MD, I felt like a regular feature such as this would give contributors and myself a chance to dip into our dusty VHS shelves – and justify plunking down a couple bucks on something at the thrift store. Fittingly, the debut column features a film from the director interviewed for the debut issue of ER some 30 years ago. Read on as Evan Romero dishes up John Waters' MULTIPLE MANIACS...
So let me set the scene for you: I'm in the movie section of Amoeba Music – specifically, the director's section. Passing John Waters' name I decide to take a gander. Lo and behold, what do I find? MULTIPLE MANIACS! Ten bucks! Not on DVD! Ho ho ho! You bet your sweet ass I'm gonna snatch it up – partly because I wanted to make a friend of mine, who's a huge John Waters fan, green with envy (I succeeded); partly because I enjoy Waters' early work like FEMALE TROUBLE and, especially, PINK FLAMINGOS. Once home, and with the proper amount of pomp and circumstance, I shove it into my VCR, adjust the tracking, and hit PLAY.
Come one, come all – to Lady Divine's Cavalcade of Perversions where "sluts, fags, dykes, and pimps" run amok! See a pornographer go about his trade! See two men kissing! See a heroin addict go through withdrawals! See Lady Divine (Divine, of course) herself rob your ass of money, valuables, and narcotics! Wait, Lady Divine's boyfriend, Mr. David (David Lochary) is sneaking around with Bonnie (Mary Vivian Pierce), an auto-erotic coprophagiac and gerontrophiliac!? Lady Divine will have Mr. David's head on a stick. Unless Mr. David and Bonnie are able to off Lady Divine first!
Those expecting the Waters' usual shtick are going to sprout wood: we've got the psychotic characters, the swingin' music, the atrocities and grotesqueries, the absurdity, the celebration of outsiderdom – all in glorious black-and-white. And on VHS no less! And while we don't get the level of sickness and absurdity that Waters would achieve in PINK FLAMINGOS, there's enough on display here to keep his fans happy and watching the screen. I mean, where else are you gonna see two women getting it on in a church in the presence of a heroin addict? Where else are you gonna see Divine get a rosary shoved up her ass? Where else are you gonna see a woman get raped by a transvestite AND a giant lobster? Nowhere else but this sick little film.
However, between these and other scenes of perversions, MULTIPLE MANIACS does hit a few lulls as some scenes go on for way longer than they should, resulting in sighs and thoughts of mowing the lawn. I mean, seriously, how long does a scene detailing Jesus' betrayal and crucifixion need to be? We all know the story, so please get on with the good stuff. Or, why does it need to drag out Divine's breakdown? It would be fine if it were actually comprised of interesting scenes, but just showing Divine wander about the streets and take a hammer to a car isn't anywhere near exciting. Or, how long does it take for two people to profess their love for one another and decide to kill someone? One line will suffice: "I love you, let's kill her, then fuck upon her corpse." (However, that last bit DOES have the best line of dialogue in the movie: "I love you so fucking much I could SHIT." Priceless. I'm gonna have to keep that one in mind.) If 20-30 minutes were chopped from this flick, we'd be looking at a classic. But at 90 minutes, the whole affair doesn't have quite enough momentum to keep viewers from getting a little bored.
At the end of the day though, MULTIPLE MANIACS is still sick and twisted enough to delight fans of Waters, or lovers of off-kilter cinema. Worth checking out at least once, especially those who think Waters only does rubbish like CRY BABY. – Evan Romero Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally-questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about TROMA'S WAR for the ER blog's Troma Tuesday feature.
Nothing like getting the cinematic year off to a good start. Watched 16 flicks during the month including two rewatches (BATMAN BEGINS and KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK) and not one flick that made me question my sanity as a movie lover.
There were more than a few pleasant surprises including the low-budget customed caper ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE, Arnold's comeback vehicle THE LAST STAND and AFTERSHOCK (with Eli Roth as an American tourist in Chile who must survive the aftermath of an earthquake... and worse) plus a couple flicks that totally lived up to their reps (Duke Mitchell's jaw-dropping MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE, the Linda Blair revenge-a-thon SAVAGE STREETS and REWIND THIS!, the first of several VHS-related documentaries I hope to catch this year).
The most pleasant surprise of all may have been 2013's HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS, which I had dismissed as an uninspired VAN HELSING rip-off, if such a thing is even possible. Turns out it was actually gory fun as the titular characters and their monster-fighting pals stomped heads and, well, hunted witches with glee.
Here's the running list for January... and the new year so far...
I neither loved nor hated 2012's V/H/S, the analog-inspired, found footage horror anthology which featured segments from such rising stars in the film world as Adam Wingard (YOU'RE NEXT), Ti West (the underrated CABIN FEVER 2) and Joe Swanberg (DRINKING BUDDIES). A bit long, frequently predictable and a tad too hit or miss – admittedly a trait of any anthology effort – I still had to give the flick props for presenting such a grab bag of genres and for pulling off a few unexpected and effective chills.
Naturally, the flick's success inspired a second round of found footage fun collected in V/H/S/2, out now from Magnet, and the result is similarly schizophrenic though not nearly as inventive.
Thankfully swapping out the original's nihilistic assholes for a cheap private dick with worn shoes and holes in his pants, the wraparound story is much more straightforward – and even more disposable – this time around. Hired by a concerned mom, the detective and his assistant break into the house of a college student only to find a bank of televisions, a fresh drop of blood and a bunch of VHS tapes. Sorting through the piles and pressing the pair bring us a quartet of tales...
The first two segments – 'Phase I Clinical Trials' (directed by the returning Adam Wingard) and 'A Ride in the Park' (from BLAIR WITCH PROJECT vets Eduardo Sanchez and Greg Hale) – suffer from being far too predictable for all but the most neophyte horror viewer. The tales of sensory implants and zombies, respectively, never veer beyond what you would expect and really left me hoping I wasn't wasting my time.
Luckily, the flick rebounds impressively with its final two installments – one from an unexpected source. Not surprisingly, 'Safe Haven' from directors Timo Tjahjanto (ABCs OF DEATH, MACABRE and the upcoming THE NIGHT COMES FOR US) and Gareth Huw Evans (the goddamn RAID: REDEMPTION) is the highlight of the flick, solidly weaving a tale of a killer cults, love triangles, accelerated gestation and, well, a demon baby. Grimy, gritty and sick on a number of levels, 'Safe Haven' begs to be fleshed out into feature.
I could say the same for Jason Eisner's 'Slumber Party Alien Abduction', which surprises the hell out of me. Despite much love for it from genre fans I loathed his HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN and was sorta dreading what he would bring to the V/H/S/2 table. Who knew the Canuxploitationer was capable of delivering such a madcap tale of horny dudes, hot sisters, adolescent tomfoolery and alien abduction?!
So there you have it. Two predictable tales you can have on in the background and two solid entries you'll want to pay attention to. With its streamlined running time and .500 average (I won't hold the wraparound tale against them) V/H/S/2 is certainly worth grabbing, especially at this time of year.
