SNOOP DOGG’S HOOD OF HORROR (2007) starring Snoop Dogg, Danny Trejo, Billy Dee Williams, Ernie Hudson, Jason Alexander

“Y’all ready for some crazy shit?”

Bringing some much-needed star power to the anthology game – I can only watch so many SOV outings starring local grocery baggers who answered a classified ad, chubby strippers with bad tattoos, and the director’s cousin – beer and lighter pitchman Snoop Dogg starts off the flick as a cartoon hood whose little sister is accidentally killed by his gun. When his mom freaks and curses him (“I hate you! You’re not my son… you’re a devil!”) Snoop does what any animated gang banger would do and makes some kind of pact with Satan that involves him being turned into a real life, pimpin’ wraparound host/cribkeeper with demon ho’s and a surly little person at his side.

‘Crossed Out’ finds a young female graffiti artist named Posie (Daniella Alonso) running afoul of some gang bangers by tagging their territory. And spray painting them in the face, which would probably piss anybody off. When she gets abducted by a derelict (Danny Trejo) she wakes up with a tight arm tattoo that ends the life of whosever name she crosses out. Bonus points for phone choking and a 40 oz. through the head (in a nice, splattery effect) plus Billy Dee Williams as grief counselor Pastor Charlie, who finds himself putting in plenty of OT thanks to Posie’s handiwork.

‘Scumlord’ definitely highlights the flick, with HELL ON WHEELS’ Anson Mount starring as Tex Jr., a Southern-fried racist even Donald Trump would think goes too far. When Tex Sr. “dies”, his offspring discovers that getting daddy’s inheritance won’t be as easy as he thought. The will states that the son and his gold digging wife (Brande Roderick) must live in the “ghetto rat trap” where Tex the Elder’s beloved soldiers – including Ernie Hudson and Richard Gant – reside. Instead of learning a lesson about loving his fellow man (what fun would that be?!), Tex Jr. puts the vets to work renovating the property, steals their money, cuts their food budget and forces their nurse into a threesome. Comeuppance, in grisly fashion, ensues.

‘Rapsody Askew’ rounds out the trio of terror tales and, unfortunately, it’s the weakest entry (and the only one not co-written by Tim Sullivan). Told in loopy, flashback/flashforward fashion, we’re shown the rise of a pair of young rappers – SOD (Pooch Hall) and Quan (Aries Spears) – who get fame too fast and end up sidetracked by things like a lack of focus. And statutory rape. An ill-advised stop at a convenience store leads to the death of one half of the pair and a haunting night at an awards show for the survivor. Look for Diamond Dallas Page as SOD’s bodyguard and Jason Alexander in a laughable, accent-challenged cameo as “British Record Mogul”.

Definitely lost amongst more ballyhooed anthology efforts, HOOD OF HORROR certainly delivers the goods thanks to its combination of splattery effects and comeuppance. And Snoop Dogg. Never forget the Snoop Dogg. – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect. This review appeared in a slightly different form in issue #53 (still available from the publisher, email us for payment details) and Amazon.

HOOD OF HORROR is available from Amazon.

A NIGHT OF HORROR: NIGHTMARE RADIO (2019) Horror Anthology

 “The worst monsters are the ones under the skin of your dear ones."

Just as clunky as its cumbersome title suggests, A NIGHT OF HORROR: NIGHTMARE RADIO drops us into the late-night radio show of Rod Wilson (James Wright), a smooth-talking dj with a penchant for telling scary stories, like the Invisible Man-inspired “In the Dark Dark Woods” which serves as an all too brief appetizer for the main course. After relating how his mom put coins on the eyes of his dead granny so she could pay the ferryman we segue into seven tales of terror that are, in typical anthology film fashion, wildly hit or miss.

Leading things off in solid style is “Post Mortem Mary”, in which settlers in the rugged Aussie outback seek a photographic memento of their daughter who has been rotting for the last couple weeks. Young Mary shows up with her mom and must get a good shot so that her family can make money, but it’s easier said than done with a mischievous corpse as your subject. If you’re like me and get a little itchy-skitchy at scenes of eye violence, well, let me just say I’ll never look a spoon the same way ever again.

From there NIGHTMARE RADIO (seriously, just call it that, it’s the better title) veers from EC-inspired revenge fantasies (“A Little Off The Top”) and political commentary (“The Disappearance of Willie Bingham”) to backwoods weirdness (“Into the Mud”) and jump scare British ghosts (“Vicious”). Luckily, tales like the Spanish “Drops” and the IT-inspired “The Smiling Man” appear every now and then to perk up the proceedings.

Unfortunately, the framing device concocted by Luciano and Nicolas Onetti – who also assembled the disparate collection of vignettes – is largely ineffective despite attempts to ratchet up the tension. The quality suffers in comparison to the other segments and, like several of the tales, feels half-baked at best.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen waaaayyyy worse anthology flicks and this was well worth the pocket change spent on it at the local Dollar Tree. But it’s a pretty middle of the road effort that pales in comparison to the similarly-themed SCAREWAVES (2014) which was reviewed in ER #53 published back in (gasp!) 2017. – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and The Hungover Gourmet as well as the host of the internet radio show Around The Dial. While he's sad that summer is over he's happy that spooky season is upon us.

Slaughter Tales VHS Inspired Horror Anthology (2012)

Sitting down to review SLAUGHTER TALES – Johnny Dickie’s VHS-inspired, shot-on-video love letter to trashy low-budget horror cinema – is not an easy task.

Sure, I could slam it for looking cheap and amateurish. But guess what? It was made by a teenager for about $65 and looks only slightly worse than, say, BOARDING HOUSE.

I could definitely complain that it’s often confusing, frequently stupid and occasionally terrible. Then again, the flick’s protagonist (played, naturally, by Dickie) refers to the film-within-a-film as “a pile of shit” and laments that “something tells me this is going to suck” while another character sports a t-shirt that reads “This Movie is Terrible”.

In other words, SLAUGHTER TALES is largely review-proof, a fact that might annoy the hell out of me if I didn’t get such a kick out of its frequently-successful attempts to meld such influences as Lucio Fulci, Andreas Schnaas and Sam Raimi.

The mayhem starts when a teen (Dickie) steals a tape titled SLAUGHTER TALES from a neighborhood garage sale. Despite warnings from a spectre who appears in his bathtub and informs him that the tape is cursed – as well as his own gut feeling that he’s in for a rough 90 minutes – the kid pops in the VHS.

What follows is a horror anthology film-within-a-film interspersed with Dickie’s own observations about what he/we have just witnessed, many of which are so harshly critical that I found myself defending the flick to the on-screen director! Like I said, it’s pretty review-proof – Uwe Boll could learn a lesson or two from this kid.

Eventually, the tape’s contents bleed from the reel world into Johnnie’s as we’re treated to corroding hands, hacked-off appendages, decapitations, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS-style slug creatures, eye violence, demonic possession and a nod to Schnaas’ VIOLENT SHIT franchise.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not about to praise SLAUGHTER TALES as some must-see masterpiece. There are long rough stretches, it’s occasionally hard to tell where the movie-within-a-movie ends, the reliance on “fuck” grows tiresome, and the whole thing probably could have been chopped down to a more user-friendly 75 to 80 minutes without losing any of its impact. (The jokey epilogue featuring notorious ham and Troma honcho Lloyd Kaufman feels especially expendable.)

That said, one can’t help but marvel at what Dickie accomplished with a budget that goes well below “micro”, a cast that seems to be made up mostly of the director, and a reliance on nothing but practical, old school effects (including at least one makeup gag gone wrong).

I’m definitely looking forward to checking out his latest feature – CITY OF THE DREAM DEMONS – in the hopes that Dickie is somebody to keep an eye on. I can’t help but be reminded of THE DEAD NEXT DOOR’s J.R. Bookwalter and his lengthy career as a writer, director and producer, though something tells me that Dickie is more likely to deliver ambitious, over-the-top horror a la Brian Paulin (BONE SICKNESS, CRYPTIC PLASM).

In an era when most kids his age have microscopic attention spans and a what-can-you-do-for-me sense of entitlement, Johnny Dickie gets a ton of respect for putting his $65 where his mouth is and delivering something more than a YouTube clip or viral video to share with friends.

Plus, I can’t help but dig any movie with a line like “you’re not my friend, you’re just an unholy fucktard!”. – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and a total sucker for horror anthologies. This review first appeared in our super-sized 30th anniversary issue, still available at Amazon.

SLAUGHTER TALES is available from Amazon.

HOLIDAY (Sorta) HORRORS: Tell Me a Christmas Story... That Rips Off Classic Horror Flicks

When I picked up NIGHT TERRORS (2014) at a horror convention I thought, "Cool... holiday horror meets anthology... sounds like my kinda flick". After screening it I'm reminded of the classic SOUTH PARK episode where Cartman insists that his hand is Jennifer Lopez (you have to see it to believe it).

When confronted by his pals (plus, um, a lovestruck Ben Affleck and the police) he admits his hand isn't J Lo but is actually a con man named Mitch Conner. After getting his pals to admit that what happened was possible he taunts Stan and Kyle by saying "I gotcha kinda... I gotcha kinda..."

This is how NIGHT TERRORS makes me feel.

Based around the old anthology flick chestnut of "world's worst babysitter tells kid horrific stories" a la BURNING MOON, NIGHT TERRORS valiantly tries to replicate the VHS experience of the 80s – complete with a warning that the VHS effect you're seeing is intended and that this is "not a defective product". Yeah, I'll be the judge of that.

The holiday horrors ball gets rolling as Maddie (Alyssa Benner) – stuck at home babysitting while her pal wants her to come out and party – complies with her little brother's request to "tell me a Christmas story". I'm guessing the kid did not have this poor man's SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT in mind but his twisted sister unspools the sordid tale of a savage Santa who butchers some heavy metal dude ringing a Salvation Army bell then heads to a squat where he hacks his way through a bunch of punks gearing up for a night of beer and Oi. One can only imagine the lengths Maddy had to go to in order to explain squatting punks and Oi to her little brother.

Despite the very obvious rubber dummy that Santa axes and the myriad of period details the segment – and the flick as a whole – gets wrong, at least you can have some fun looking at the classic hardcore show fliers that dot the squat's wall. Little did I know that '34th Street Massacre' would be the anthology's only "holiday horror" – and the evening's highlight.

'Baby Killer' mines more familiar territory as mad scientist Dr. Herbert Cain (Richard Hackel) must resort to boosting supplies from the ol' university lab in order to work on the cure for his daughter's disease. Not a big fan of kid peril or baby murder, so I'm pretty much out on this one despite the protestor in a Misfits shirt and the acid bath given to the janitor's face.

The flick wraps with 'Abstinence', which I'm sure was meant as a well-intentioned homage to Fred Dekker's classic NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (one of my all-time favorites). I'll use "homage" because nobody making a horror flick would be so blatant as to lift dialogue straight from the flick and have the nerve to use Tom Atkins' oft-quoted "Thrill me" and think they could get away with it. Unfortunately, the hijacked plot-line, woeful casting and period details pulled me right out of the story, no matter how many people puke blood and pull out their own teeth.

In a nutshell, NIGHT TERRORS – written and directed by Alex Lukens and Jason Zink – offers up watchable but largely forgettable Grade D riffs on three great slices of 80s horror. Granted, it isn't like those flicks cornered the market on evil Santas, mad scientists or college mayhem, and I've enjoyed countless variations on said themes. But if you're going to advance the premise that these segments – and the wraparound – are 80s-era artifacts, at least try and get the details and casting right. I understand that you take what you can get when casting a low-budget, straight-to-video horror flick (friends, relatives, people who will work for food), but nobody walking around a college campus in the 80s gauged their earlobes, the only people who had tattoos were bikers and veterans, and don't cast a "college frosh" who looks old enough to be some dad visiting for Parents Weekend.

Well played, NIGHT TERRORS. You got me kinda... you got me kinda... – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and he promises more Holiday Horrors before Christmas. This review previously appeared in ER #53 which is is available from Amazon. NIGHT TERRORS is also available from Amazon.

Exploitation Retrospect Returns with 130 Page 30th Anniversary Issue!

The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media returns with a super-sized 30th anniversary issue clocking in at 130 pages! 

This time out the ER Crew looks at the world of horror anthology films with a special review section featuring SLAUGHTER TALES (2012), TORTURE GARDEN (1967), THE UNCANNY (1977), TOMB OF TERROR (2004), HOLIDAYS (2016), GRIM PRAIRIE TALES (1990), ASYLUM (1972), THE BURNING MOON (1992), CRADLE OF FEAR (2007), SCREAMS OF A WINTER NIGHT (1979) and many more. Plus, we look inside the world of 21st century anthology flicks with filmmaker Scarlet Fry.

We remember THE DESTROYER co-creator Warren Murphy with an interview by The Paperback Fanatic and examine the legacy of Don Pendleton's Mack Bolan (THE EXECUTIONER) and other men's action heroes via reviews, articles and an interview with author Mike Newton.

Obscure horror gets its due thanks to an interview with Gary Wallace (star of video store oddity THE JAR) while Evan Romero waxes nostalgic about Joe D'Amato's PORNO HOLOCAUST and breaks down the films of Jorg Buttgereit.

Longing for the sights, sounds and smells of old movie theaters? Take a trip through Kris Gilpin's theatrical scrapbook while Chris Poggiali examines the history of hot pants cinema.

And what would an issue of Exploitation Retrospect be without a bulging review section? Join Douglas Waltz, Mitch Lovell, John Grace, Devin Kelly, David Zuzelo, Jim Ivers, Evan Romero, Eric Miller, Neil Vokes, Robert Segedy, Mike Hauss and Dan Taylor as they dive deep into a video vortex of horror, action, exploitation and sleaze.

The new issue is currently available from CreateSpace as well as Amazon.

If you prefer to order direct from the publisher, please visit the ER website.

31 DAYS OF THROWBACK THURSDAY: DEADTIME STORIES (1986) from ER #5 (May 1987)

I've been a fan of horror anthologies since I was a little kid and my Mom sat me down to watch DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS... but you can read all about that in the upcoming Exploitation Retrospect #53 due out later this month. In the meantime here's a review of the twisted 1986 portmanteau DEADTIME STORIES ripped screaming from the pages of ER #5 originally published in May 1987. Not to be confused with the wretched DEADTIME STORIES hosted by George Romero, this fun flick features Scott Valentine and was directed by Jeffrey Delman, who would not helm another feature until 2002's RANDOM SHOOTING IN LA.

Every once in a great while a film comes along that successfully blends the broad aspects of horror and comedy. Of course, there are always films that try: HOUSE, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2, etc. However, there are some that can combine the two: TOXIC AVENGER, RE-ANIMATOR, CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH, and just added to this list is the fiendishly funny DEADTIME STORIES.

The film is a very low budget horror anthology flick built around this tried and true premise. A young boy is staying with his uncle, and because he is afraid of the dark he requests to hear some bedtime stories. Well, Uncle Mark is a bit demented, so he gives the kid what he wants.

The first story stars a young Scott Valentine, a current teen heartthrob due to his role on TV's 'Family Ties' and his starring role in the current MY DEMON LOVER. He stars as a young boy who has sold himself into the services of two witches. The witches are trying to raise their sister from the dead, and Valentine's character must help them get the necessary ingredients. The tale has some intense effects, such as a severed hand that seems to take on a life of its own, a face-hugging heart, and (in the highlight of the film), the retransformation of the dead witch: she begins as an old, decayed skeleton and ends up as a full, revengeful demon bitch!

The second story is a modern-day update of "Little Red Riding Hood" which is skewed due to the fact that Uncle Mark was watching the 'Miss Nude Bayone' Competition on the tube. Red (or Rcahel [sic] as she's called) is now a firm-bodied high school cheerleader who picks up the wrong prescription at the store. So, the big bad wolf (dressed in leather pants and skinny tie) comes looking for her and the story follows the familiar pattern all the way until the infamous "Grandma, what big teeth you have" line.

The final story is a wickedly funny retelling of the "Goldilocks and the 3 Bears" tale. This time Goldi Loxx (named after Golda Meir!!) is a psychotic killer who keeps the corpses of her dead suitors in the house. When "Papa" and "Baby" Baer escape from a mental institution with the help of "Momma" Baer they head for their hideout in the woods – where Goldi just happens to be staying. Naturally, Goldi fits right in with the family and they combine their powers to rob and create general mayhem everywhere they can. The most incredible scene in the film comes when "Baby" Baers [sic] plays a game of "She Loves Me/She Loves Me Not" with the severed arm of one of Goldi's victims.

This is a twisted film, and a fine example of what horror anthologies should be more like. I highly recommend DEADTIME STORIES, so see it quick or wait for the inevitable video release. Four stars. (R) – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor and publisher of Exploitation Retrospect, which celebrates 30 years of existence this month. You can read more about his love of horror anthology flicks in the new issue, available soon. He last wrote about FUTURE FORCE for VHS Wednesday. 

DEADTIME STORIES is available from Amazon.

2015 Watch List and a Happy 2016 Filled with Trash and Sleaze

The other day I came to a conclusion... I had done a crappy job of keeping track of my movie watching in 2015. Despite a strong start to catalog my wallowing in the cinesludge, somewhere around oh movie #12 I stopped updating my spreadsheet and fell into a deep sinematic funk.

But, thanks to piles of notes, social media posts and streaming services that track my activity, I was able to cobble together what is a completely incomplete snapshot of my 2015 Movie Watching. As expected, the list features numerous anthology flicks (due to the upcoming issue of ER) and documentaries (which are easy to flip on in the background while I work).

What's surprisingly missing are re-visits with old favorites like RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, DEMONS, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH and LIFEFORCE, so I clearly anticipate catching up with all of them over the coming months.

Having just pulled this list together I won't impulsively pick out a Top 10 Favorites as I often do but I will make a note to swing back around in the next week and highlight some flicks that entertained me in what was an unmotivated year.

Here's hoping your 2016 is safe, happy, healthy and filled with all the action, sleaze, gore and horror you wish!

[REC]3

[REC]4
30 FOR 30: TROJAN WAR
A CHRISTMAS DETOUR
ALTERED STATES
AN HONEST LIAR
ATARI: GAME OVER
BACK ISSUES: THE HUSTER MAGAZINE STORY
BATMAN: ASSAULT ON ARKHAM
BIG HERO 6
BLOODSPORT
BRAIN DAMAGE
CANNIBAL FEROX
CHANNEL 13
THE DAMNED: DON'T YOU WISH THAT WE WERE DEAD
DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
DEADTIME STORIES
DEATH BY VHS
DIRE WOLF
DISASTER ON THE COASTLINER
ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
ELVES
ENEMIES CLOSER
THE EQUALIZER
FAST 7
FRANKENSTEIN'S ARMY
FUTURE JUSTICE
GODZILLA 1985
GONE WITH THE POPE
THE GOOD DINOSAUR
GOON
HI-8
HOMEFRONT
HORROR OF PARTY BEACH
HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD
HOW TO SAVE US
INSIDE/OUT
ISIS RISING: CURSE OF THE LADY MUMMY
ISLAND OF THE LIVING DEAD
JACK REACHER
JOHN WICK
JUNK FOOD HORRORFEST
KRAMPUS: THE RECKONING
LIFE ITSELF
LOST SOUL
MARTIN
MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE
THE MINION
NEAR DARK
NEVER LAKE
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS
NIGHT TERRORS
NIGHTFALL
NIGHTHAWKS
THE OCTAGON
OUT OF FOCUS
PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING
QUARANTINE
QUARANTINE 2: TERMINAL
RAGE
RISE OF THE BLACK BAT
SCAREWAVES
SCOOBY-DOO & KISS: ROCK & ROLL MYSTERY
THE SHIEK
SHOCK VALUE
SILENT RAGE
SPECTRE
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE
STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI
STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS
SUPERSTITION
TALES FROM THE CRYPT
TERROR VISION
TORTURE GARDEN
THE UNLIVING
VAULT OF HORROR
WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU
THE WRECKING CREW
ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING

No Tricks, Just Treats... New Horror Anthology Has Ties to New Episode of CINESLUDGE

While bouncing around the web this morning I ran across some exciting news about TALES OF HALLOWEEN, a new horror anthology flick that will start shooting next month.

I love horror anthology flicks and it's a topic we'll be covering in Exploitation Retrospect #53 (slated for next fall), but the talent involved with this one gets my juices flowing even more than usual.

Not only will we get segments from Neil Marshall (THE DESCENT, DOG SOLDIERS), Mike Mendez (THE CONVENT, BIG ASS SPIDER!) and Axelle Carolyn (whose Marshall-produced SOULMATE is one of our current DVD giveaways), but John Skipp – whose 'The Light At The End' is one of my fave horror novels – is teaming up with Andrew Kasch.

And Joe Begos – whose entertaining "lumberjack on a murderous rampage" flick ALMOST HUMAN is discussed on the new episode of CINESLUDGE – is also directing a story. Swing on over to Podbean or check us out on iTunes to give it a listen as Evil Monk #1 and Evil Monk #2 talk Mack Bolan, men's adventure novels, ALMOST HUMAN and the recent Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horrorthon VIII.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: Anthology Flick Friday Gets the Creeps... CREEPSHOW II That Is

When you talk about horror anthology flicks the conversation inevitably turns to 1982's CREEPSHOW. Thanks to a successful theatrical run and a healthy afterlife on cable and home video, CREEPSHOW is one of those flicks that seemingly every horror fan has seen at some point. And you know what? It holds up pretty well thanks to a solid list of talent both behind the camera (George A. Romero, Stephen King and Tom Savini) and in front of it (Tom Atkins, Ed Harris, Hal Holbrook, Ted Danson, Leslie Nielsen, Adrienne Barbeau, Vivica Lindfors and EG Marshall).

Given its success – the flick grossed more than twice its budget at the box office alone and was a video store staple throughout the 80s – it always surprised me that it took five years for a sequel to turn up in theaters (via New World!). And though it's better than I remembered, the downgrade in both look and talent make this one feel at times like little more than a straight-to-video cheapie.

While the flick's trio of terrifying tales are still inspired by Stephen King stories, Romero took over the screenwriting reins and passed the directing chores to CREEPSHOW's director of photography Michael Gornick (in his only feature effort). Lost along the way are the first film's use of comic panel artwork and imagery, a surprise given Gornick's presumed role in helping shape the look of the original CREEPSHOW.

Trimmed from five segments down to three, CREEPSHOW 2 opens with a wraparound starring an unrecognizable Savini as "The Creep" before segueing into 'Old Chief Wood'nhead' which features George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour as down-on-their-luck store owners who run afoul of a narcissistic Indian (tv veteran Holt McCallany) who has dreams of being a star in Tinseltown once he puts the dusty old homestead in his rearview mirror. Not surprisingly, the regal, titular wooden Indian that stands guard in front of the store does not take kindly to Sam Whitemoon besmirching his people's good name and much Indian-inspired mayhem follows.

The second tale – based on King's classic and creepy short 'The Raft' – feels like it gets the short end of the stick in this anthology. The basics of the tale remain the same, with pals Deke (Paul Satterfield) and Randy (Daniel Beer) heading to a remote lake for a fall fling with their gals. When a deadly, oil slick-like shape in the water eats one of the girls, Deke, Randy and Laverne (Jeremy Green) must outwit, outlast or outswim the powerful blob.

I still remember stopping by the local 7-11 on my way to school in order to grab the copy of The Twilight Zone magazine that included the tale and devouring it – much like the blob devours the characters – during class. A few changes occur between the printed page and the big screen, most noticeably the ending and the fact that Randy becomes a less sympathetic character thanks to his attempted tryst with Laverne. (It has been years since I read the story but I remember their coupling being more consensual while in the film it comes off as sorta assaulty.)

It doesn't help the tale that Deke – played by the better actor of the two male leads – is the second to go. Beer's line delivery throughout is pretty stiff and robotic, making me wish that he had been yanked through the cracks instead of stoner jock Deke. (It came as no surprise that Satterfield has gone on to a solid career in both both soaps and series TV).

Rounding out the flick is the one-note, drawn out 'The Hitchhiker' in which adultery-minded Mrs. Lansing (Lois Chiles) hits and kills a hitchhiker (Tom Wright) while trying to get home from a tryst. Panicking at what she's done, but unwilling to face the consequences, she continues on – feeling safe in the belief that nobody witnessed her crime. Alas, the bloody hitcher continues to pop up (choking out a gravelly "thanks for the ride, lady!" at each encounter), causing Mrs. Lansing to go further and further over the edge.

Former Bond Girl Chiles (MOONRAKER) is game and holds the segment together with her performance, but the whole thing grows stale in a hurry and the repeated catchphrase comes off like an attempt to find another "Where's my cake?!" for the flick to hang its hat upon.

Don't get me wrong... as anthologies go CREEPSHOW 2 isn't bad, I just wish the last two segments had been flopped so that 'The Raft' was given more time to spin its weird web. Minor quibbles aside, the flick zips by and the easily digested segments make for quick viewing over a couple lunch breaks or while taking care of stuff around the house.

Despite doing fairly solid box office numbers in relation to its budget, it would be 20 years before another CREEPSHOW installment was released. In 2007, CREEPSHOW III arrived with no involvement from Romero, King or Savini and features a largely forgettable cast and crew. In fact, Savini calls 1990's TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE – which features a Romero-penned segment originally intended for the second CREEPSHOW – the "real" CREEPSHOW 3.

But we'll tackle both those flicks another time... kiddies! – Dan Taylor

CREEPSHOW II was recently released on Blu-Ray and is available from Amazon.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: Anthology Flick Friday Visits the TOMB OF TERROR (So You Don't Have To)

If you think Full Moon flicks can be hard to follow and occasionally incoherent even at feature length, wait till you get a load of them "re-edited and re-energized from past classic films" down to anthology-sized chunks!

Eschewing any kind of wrap-around and simply plunging us right into the re-titled mini-features, TOMB starts off with 'Ascent from Hell' truncated from the 1994 feature DARK ANGEL: THE ASCENT directed by Linda Hassani and starring Angela Featherstone as Veronica, the beautiful but misunderstood demon girl who just wants to see what it's like in the world up there. It's kinda like Disney's THE LITTLE MERMAID if Ariel had wings and devil horns and instead of King Triton her dad was Nicholas Worth in bondage gear who spit-screams lines like "I'll teach you what it means to SCOFF AT THE LAW!!!" like only Nicholas Worth can. Unable to resist the call of the mortal world Veronica climbs out of a sewer into somewhere in Europe (who knew?!) and your typical "cute but demonic vigilante out of water" tale ensues. She kills some baddies, torments the town's mayor (whose major misdeeds must have been left on the editing room floor) and falls for hunky doctor Max (Daniel Markell) who doesn't think it's weird that his hot new girlfriend has no heartbeat, calls television "the magic box" and sprouts horns and claws while they're getting it on.

In the middle segment, genre vets Ashley Laurence (the HELLRAISER flicks) and Jeffrey Combs unite in the horror/heist tale 'Infinite Evil' which has been carved from the HP Lovecraft-inspired feature LURKING FEAR (1994). When parolee John Martense (Blake Adams) discovers that his father and Vincent Schiavelli stuffed a cash-filled corpse in a graveyard, he heads off to Leffert's Corners unaware that a trio of bad guys who know about the cash are hot on his trail. It all comes to a head in a graveyard church where Dr. Haggis (Combs), Cathryn (Laurence) and a handful of locals have taken refuge from the family of cannibalistic underground dwellers who emerge during rainstorms to feast, unaware that the mysterious John is more closely connected to the subterranean monsters than any of them realize.

Wrapping up our little trio of tales is 'Eternal Damnation' (which the box also calls 'Evil Never Dies'), a refreshingly gory little morsel snipped from the millennial horror tale THE TALISMAN by director David DeCoteau (under the name Victoria Sloan). Elias (Billy Parish) is the new kid at the sinister sounding Gornek International School for Boys, a dumping ground for rich American brats like Burke (Jason Adelman), a blonde thug who makes other kids do pushups in their underwear and fantasizes about making it with Elizabeth (Ilinca Goia), the daughter of the head mistress. Meanwhile, Theriel (Constantine Barbulescu), an Uncle Fester lookalike with glowing red eyes, is going around yanking out the hearts of stunned, blood-spattered students. I bet that's gonna hurt enrollment! Can Elias find out who's behind the disappearances and thwart their evil plan... before it's too late?

I'm not exactly sure who the intended audience for TOMB OF TERROR was. Even the best movie would likely suffer from having two-thirds of its running time chopped out and the "re-edited and re-energized" shorts offered here all start out okay but eventually become incoherent messes. DARK ANGEL's straightforward (ie, predictable) storyline probably survives the cuts the best while THE TALISMAN – despite the gore provided by Uncle Fester – veers closest to being unwatchable. C. Courtney Joyner's LURKING FEAR, while jumbled beyond belief at points, is definitely (okay, maybe?) the one I'll track down in its full-length form, but I'm a sucker for crucifix-fu, horror-action hybrids and anything with Combs.

Strangely enough, all three segments deal with issues of family... Victoria defies her parents in order to explore the world of the mortals while Demon Mom and Demon Dad must learn to let their little demon go; John struggles with the loser legacy of his father and must fight the monster within; and, Elias – orphaned as a youngster – longs to find out what happened to his older sister. I'm not sure anybody at Full Moon had the foresight to thematically collect these tales, but if they did would it have killed them to come up with a better title or at least some kind of goony linking device?

If anthologies are your thing this one is easily skippable and if you dig Full Moon (and I pity you if that's the case) you're probably better served seeking out the original features.

TOMB OF TERROR is available at Amazon.

New Korean Horror Anthology Promises to Go for the Jugular

Longtime readers are well aware of my affinity for horror anthologies so it should come as no surprise I'm excited to check out HORROR STORIES (aka MOO-SEO-WOONI-YA-GI), a collection of four horror tales from Korea slated for release on October 8th.

Horror anthologies might be everywhere these days, but the Korean entry Horror Stories raises the bar with four terrifying stories (and a nail-biting wraparound tale), each one chilling enough to be its own feature. If you thought this was going to be a tame collection of teen-friendly “ghost girl” stories – think again. Horror Stories goes right for the jugular with non-stop splatter, intense shocks and riveting suspense. A high school girl is abducted and forced by a psycho to tell him the scariest tales she knows. 

An international genre festival success from Sitges to Fantasia, this is one of the best Korean horror films in years and has been called “one of the scariest Asian horror anthologies of the 21st century”.

Check out the trailer below and look for a review on an upcoming Anthology Flick Friday!

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: It's Anthology Flick Friday With V/H/S/2

I neither loved nor hated 2012's V/H/S, the analog-inspired, found footage horror anthology which featured segments from such rising stars in the film world as Adam Wingard (YOU'RE NEXT), Ti West (the underrated CABIN FEVER 2) and Joe Swanberg (DRINKING BUDDIES). A bit long, frequently predictable and a tad too hit or miss – admittedly a trait of any anthology effort – I still had to give the flick props for presenting such a grab bag of genres and for pulling off a few unexpected and effective chills.

Naturally, the flick's success inspired a second round of found footage fun collected in V/H/S/2, out now from Magnet, and the result is similarly schizophrenic though not nearly as inventive.

Thankfully swapping out the original's nihilistic assholes for a cheap private dick with worn shoes and holes in his pants, the wraparound story is much more straightforward – and even more disposable – this time around. Hired by a concerned mom, the detective and his assistant break into the house of a college student only to find a bank of televisions, a fresh drop of blood and a bunch of VHS tapes. Sorting through the piles and pressing the pair bring us a quartet of tales...

The first two segments – 'Phase I Clinical Trials' (directed by the returning Adam Wingard) and 'A Ride in the Park' (from BLAIR WITCH PROJECT vets Eduardo Sanchez and Greg Hale) – suffer from being far too predictable for all but the most neophyte horror viewer.  The tales of sensory implants and zombies, respectively, never veer beyond what you would expect and really left me hoping I wasn't wasting my time.

Luckily, the flick rebounds impressively with its final two installments – one from an unexpected source. Not surprisingly, 'Safe Haven' from directors Timo Tjahjanto (ABCs OF DEATH, MACABRE and the upcoming THE NIGHT COMES FOR US) and Gareth Huw Evans (the goddamn RAID: REDEMPTION) is the highlight of the flick, solidly weaving a tale of a killer cults, love triangles, accelerated gestation and, well, a demon baby. Grimy, gritty and sick on a number of levels, 'Safe Haven' begs to be fleshed out into feature.

I could say the same for Jason Eisner's 'Slumber Party Alien Abduction', which surprises the hell out of me. Despite much love for it from genre fans I loathed his HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN and was sorta dreading what he would bring to the V/H/S/2 table. Who knew the Canuxploitationer was capable of delivering such a madcap tale of horny dudes, hot sisters, adolescent tomfoolery and alien abduction?!

So there you have it. Two predictable tales you can have on in the background and two solid entries you'll want to pay attention to. With its streamlined running time and .500 average (I won't hold the wraparound tale against them) V/H/S/2 is certainly worth grabbing, especially at this time of year.

V/H/S/2 is available from Amazon.

Recent Watches: August 2013 Edition

Been a little lax about updating things here at the blog. (Stop me if you've heard/read that sentence before.) I'll probably just blame typical summer month shutdown mode. (Sure, that'll work.) Now that school has started back up and cooler weather is just around the corner it's time to start ramping up the viewing (and posting) again. Stay tuned to this blog and our Facebook and Twitter homes for info on the upcoming print edition but in the meantime here's some quickie thoughts on some of my latest views...

"Fresh? You never had anything fresh at this joint!"
With the O's getting trounced and no interesting tennis taking place at the US Open I went trawling for trash on Netflix and stumbled across this odd slice of aquatic horror. JAKE SPEED star Wayne Crawford stars in, co-writes and co-directs this mix of JAWS rip-off and straight-faced conspiracy thriller. No tongue-in-cheek send-up a la PIRANHA or ALLIGATOR, BARRACUDA is all business with Crawford playing a marine biologist who gets mixed up in a major conspiracy in a small town. Forgets about the, you know, barracudas every now and then but you have to love any flick with Crawford tooling around in a dune buggy and getting into gunfights with shadowy land developers (read that "government agents").

"If you don't scream every time... you must be dead."
I have yet to scream while watching SCREAMTIME but it did take me three attempts to watch it. Lightweight anthology flick with wraparound story about two good for nothings who look too old to be boosting VHS tapes from some store in NYC. Some good location footage from a time we'll never see again, including shots of Tad's Steaks and other grimy New York landmarks. For more on culinary landmarks of The Deuce check out SLEAZOID EXPRESS' Bill Landis and Michelle Clifford as they Eat Out The Deuce at The Hungover Gourmet.

"He'll get away when he tries hard enough."
It's like a character actor convention in THE PACK as marine biologist Joe Don Baker (?!) teams up with other Seal Island residents (like RG Armstrong and Richard Shull) to fight off a pack of wild dogs left behind by damn tourists. ENTER THE DRAGON helmer Robert Clouse's 1977 thriller features effective, tense attack scenes and believable performances from both dogs and humans. Underrated dogsploitationer available from Warner Archives (order at Amazon).

"They're not retarded. They're disturbed."
Wall-to-wall atrocious acting and Michael Moriarty's stellar rug highlight this fascinating misfire from usually reliable Larry Cohen. Moriarty is a cultural anthropologist who takes his foul-mouthed son to the cabin he's inherited in Salem's Lot. Turns out the vampires want the truth told about them and have lured Moriarty there to write their bible. Sam Fuller briefly livens things up as a Nazi hunter turned vampire killer, but most of RETURN is a schizo mish-mash that tries to blend horror and comedy with LarCo's observations on modern society. Not good but strangely watchable and available from Warner Archives (order at Amazon).