Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Thursday, December 04, 2025

KILL, BABY ... KILL! (1966) directed by Mario Bava

It’s the early 1900s, and Dr. Eswai has been summoned to a remote European village to perform an autopsy on the body of young Irena Hollander. Pursued by an unseen force, she hurled herself from a church bell tower onto spike below, and the superstitious townspeople are in no hurry to help the good doctor.

With the assistance of Inspector Kruger, Eswai retrieve’s Irena’s body and conducts an examination with the lovely Monica (Erika Blanc) as his assistant. Monica is no stranger to the town or its customs, having spent the first couple years of her life there.

After finding a silver coin embedded in Irena’s heart, Eswai learns that the town is gripped by superstition. Melissa, the young daughter of the town’s Baroness, died at the age of seven, pursuing a ball while drunk villagers ignored her cries for help. As legend has it, the vengeful ghost curses anyone who comes in contact with her. When Nadienne, the daughter of the local innkeepers, encounters the creepy kid, the village witch wraps her in a leech vine, which Eswai considers archaic nonsense and removes. Nadienne dies due to the deadly curse, further turning the townsfolk against the well-meaning doctor. 

Can Eswai solve the town’s deadly mystery? Is it truly the work of a vengeful spirit, or is there a more rational explanation to the deadly shenanigans? 

KILL, BABY ... KILL! is the eleventh film from Italian horror maestro Mario Bava and considered by many as his best work. I don’t feel that strongly about the flick, but it’s not due to its quality. Bava maintains a brisk pace for a Gothic period piece—usually my Kryptonite—and keeps the viewer guessing (though one twist is obvious early on). The ghostly Melissa (played by a young man) ratchets up the film’s fear factor, while Bava’s trademark lighting and visuals like swirling staircase, hidden crypts, and misty village streets add to the film’s mystery and visual impact. 

Though the film was a box office hit in Bava’s native country during its original release (outgrossing the director’s BLACK SUNDAY and BLACK SABBATH), its cultural impact is its true legacy. Both Martin Scorcese and David Lynch acknowledge the film’s influence on their work, while Federico Fellini lifted the idea of the ghostly child and their bouncing ball for the ‘Toby Dammit’ segment of the 1968 anthology flick SPIRITS OF THE DEAD. 

Personally, I prefer Bava’s contributions to the giallo genre (especially HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON and BAY OF BLOOD), but I dug KILL, BABY ... KILL!, especially for its look, feel, and pacing, especially in a genre that I frequently find snooze-inducing. (Also known as OPERATION FEAR, CURSE OF THE DEAD, and my favorite, THE DEAD EYES OF DR. DRACULA.) – Dan Taylor

60-For-60 Introduction: 60 Horror Films from 1966 to 2026

So, I turn 60 (gasp!) next year. Whenever I reach one of those nice round numbers, I always look to undertake some sort of movie-viewing project (even if I don’t complete it). This time I’ve decided to dedicate my ‘60-for-60’ to my beloved genre of horror. 

My introduction to horror came, oddly enough, at the hands of the great Abbott & Costello. Their movies aired after church every Sunday on one of the local Philly UHF channels (I believe it was WKBS-48) and their wonderful monster-mash ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948) was my gateway horror film. It remains, to this day, my favorite horror-comedy. 

My mom, the true movie nut in our household, said that if I liked that, I should probably start sampling the classic Universal horrors that ran every weekend on the local stations. (Thank you, 1970s television!) THE GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN (1942) was next, and I was hooked. 

Universal led to Hammer, which led to trashy cable viewings, VHS rentals, and spending afternoons cutting classes in Philly to go catch Lucio Fulci’s 7 DOORS OF DEATH (1981), watching NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES (1980) with out-of-order reels at the drive-in, consuming copious amounts of beer along with ALIEN: CONTAMINATION (1980) at my buddy’s house, or hopping around area theaters soaking in every moment of DEMONS (1985), EVIL DEAD 2 (1987), DAY OF THE DEAD (1985), LIFEFORCE (1985—which I’m seeing on the big screen again tonight!), and more while scribbling notes for our trash cinema zine. 

My goal isn’t to focus on new viewings, though I hope to lean into stuff I haven’t seen as well as flicks that are crying out for a rewatch. But I hope you’ll forgive me if a certain year rolls around and I just can’t help indulging in a JAWS (1975) or a RE-ANIMATOR (1985). — Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and The Hungover Gourmet. He used to think 60 was old.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Exploitation Retrospect Returns with 130 Page 30th Anniversary Issue!

The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media returns with a super-sized 30th anniversary issue clocking in at 130 pages! 

This time out the ER Crew looks at the world of horror anthology films with a special review section featuring SLAUGHTER TALES (2012), TORTURE GARDEN (1967), THE UNCANNY (1977), TOMB OF TERROR (2004), HOLIDAYS (2016), GRIM PRAIRIE TALES (1990), ASYLUM (1972), THE BURNING MOON (1992), CRADLE OF FEAR (2007), SCREAMS OF A WINTER NIGHT (1979) and many more. Plus, we look inside the world of 21st century anthology flicks with filmmaker Scarlet Fry.

We remember THE DESTROYER co-creator Warren Murphy with an interview by The Paperback Fanatic and examine the legacy of Don Pendleton's Mack Bolan (THE EXECUTIONER) and other men's action heroes via reviews, articles and an interview with author Mike Newton.

Obscure horror gets its due thanks to an interview with Gary Wallace (star of video store oddity THE JAR) while Evan Romero waxes nostalgic about Joe D'Amato's PORNO HOLOCAUST and breaks down the films of Jorg Buttgereit.

Longing for the sights, sounds and smells of old movie theaters? Take a trip through Kris Gilpin's theatrical scrapbook while Chris Poggiali examines the history of hot pants cinema.

And what would an issue of Exploitation Retrospect be without a bulging review section? Join Douglas Waltz, Mitch Lovell, John Grace, Devin Kelly, David Zuzelo, Jim Ivers, Evan Romero, Eric Miller, Neil Vokes, Robert Segedy, Mike Hauss and Dan Taylor as they dive deep into a video vortex of horror, action, exploitation and sleaze.

The new issue is currently available from CreateSpace as well as Amazon.

If you prefer to order direct from the publisher, please visit the ER website.

Friday, October 14, 2016

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: We Interrupt This Feature for Some Recent Views

Trying to put the finishing touches on a mammoth 30th anniversary issue and stay on top of our 31 Days of Fright blog feature may have been biting off more than I could chew.

In fact, it'd probably be for the best if we just moved Halloween to sometime in November.

Everybody cool with that?

Well, assuming that's going to get about as much traction as #repealthe19th I better put on my big boy pants and get back to work on both things!

But first, I wanted to dash off a few quick capsules of some of the movies I saw in the theater this week. That's right! I actually made it out to not one, not two, not three, but FOUR honest to goodness movies this week which throws my whole theatrical screenings average for a total loop. (Okay, so one was that MIDDLE SCHOOL movie which I saw with the wife and daughter but hey, it meant putting on presentable clothing and venturing into the outside world.)

First up was a trip to Silver Spring, MD for a couple screenings at the American Film Institute Theater. I'm pretty embarrassed that I've lived in this area for close to 16 years and last weekend was my first trip down there. Considering the number of revivals and their annual Spooky Movie Festival (which was the reason for the trip), I should probably have my "Movie Lover" card revoked. Bonus points for the burger, tots and Double Duckpin at the Quarry House Tavern around the corner, even if they did charge per can about what I pay for a six pack.

Up first was MY FATHER DIE (2016), the debut feature from Sean Brosnan, son of that guy who played James Bond. Chester (Chester Rushing of STRANGER THINGS) is best buds with and protector to his younger brother Asher (Gabe White). But when he crosses the line with their biker father, Ivan (an impressive Gary Stretch who looks like Norm McDonald's impression of Burt Reynolds coupled with Barry Bonds' steroid regimen), it results in Chester's death, Asher's hearing loss, and a long stretch in the slammer for dear old dad. Fast forward two decades when a grown, but still deaf, Asher (now played by Joe Anderson from TV's HANNIBAL) discovers that Ivan has been released early and he must ramp up his plan for revenge. A swirling, sweaty Southern gothic stew of preachers, porn, stomped cops, torture sessions, car chases and gun battles ensues as Ivan and Asher head towards their inevitable showdown. Maybe a touch long at 102 minutes, Brosnan's debut is nonetheless riveting and explosive, with plenty of humor to offset the revenge-driven mayhem. And yes, that's John Schneider as the grizzled cop following the trail of blood and bodies.



Shifting gears completely was the Spooky Movie followup. Tim Reis' BAD BLOOD: THE MOVIE (2016) is an ooey gooey love letter to all those mad scientist VHS flicks we rented in the 80s. Making her feature film debut, Mary Malloy stars as Victoria, a young woman home from college to find herself. Unfortunately, she finds herself living with her mom, meddling stepfather (Brian Troxell) and reptilian stepbrother. Out for a night with friends she ends up attacked by a slimy creature and is reported missing, presumed dead by Stensland (Troy Halverson), the investigator hired by her stepfather. When she turns up weeks later it's assumed she's hooked on some kind of designer drug which stepdad Wade quickly smashes so that she can get clean. Unfortunately, the "drug" was actually an antidote designed to keep her from turning into a hideous "werefrog". Calamity ensues. Reis, who also wrote the script, deftly juggles both horror and comedy, making BAD BLOOD feel like any one of a hundred similar flicks I rented over the years. Halverson practically steals the show as the deranged ex-cop on the werefrog's trail and though the ending never went as far as I hoped the whole slimy affair has me in search of THE DEMON'S ROOK (2013), an earlier flick Reis worked on.



Last but not least I had a chance to hit the theater last night for a screening of SHIN GODZILLA (2016), the latest Tokyo stompfest featuring The Big G. I'm neither a Godzilla fanboy nor a purist, so I wasn't bothered when friends whose opinions usually track with mine mentioned that the flick was maybe a tad talky and even, well, boring. These lowered expectations probably served me well and with a Bobby Flay Crunch Burger and Onion Rings in my gut and a Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA in hand (oh how I love modern cinemas!) I settled in for 120 minutes of wanton destruction. Unfortunately, it's more like 20 minutes of wanton destruction, Godzilla evolution and laser tails coupled with a solid 100 minutes of meetings, meetings about meetings, subtle digs at the US, not so subtle digs at the US, charts, origami, copier setup and did I mention meetings? Seriously, the BluRay should come with a 30 Day free trial for GoToMeeting. I'm thinking that having Godzilla TAKE A NAP (?!) in the middle of the movie probably wasn't the best plot device and the whole thing felt pretty anti-climactic, but any night that includes burgers, brews and a stompfest can't be all bad. – Dan Taylor


Dan Taylor is the editor and publisher of Exploitation Retrospect. He's pretty sure his recent case of writer's block is over. He should really get back to work on the 30th Anniversary issue of the zine.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

January 2014 Watchlist

Nothing like getting the cinematic year off to a good start. Watched 16 flicks during the month including two rewatches (BATMAN BEGINS and KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK) and not one flick that made me question my sanity as a movie lover.

There were more than a few pleasant surprises including the low-budget customed caper ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE, Arnold's comeback vehicle THE LAST STAND and AFTERSHOCK (with Eli Roth as an American tourist in Chile who must survive the aftermath of an earthquake... and worse) plus a couple flicks that totally lived up to their reps (Duke Mitchell's jaw-dropping MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE, the Linda Blair revenge-a-thon SAVAGE STREETS and REWIND THIS!, the first of several VHS-related documentaries I hope to catch this year).

The most pleasant surprise of all may have been 2013's HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS, which I had dismissed as an uninspired VAN HELSING rip-off, if such a thing is even possible. Turns out it was actually gory fun as the titular characters and their monster-fighting pals stomped heads and, well, hunted witches with glee.

Here's the running list for January... and the new year so far...

  1. DESPICABLE ME 2 (2013)
  2. MASSACE MAFIA STYLE (1974)
  3. SAVING MR BANKS (2013)
  4. ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE (2011)
  5. RUSH (2013)
  6. THE LAST STAND (2013)
  7. AFTERSHOCK (2012)
  8. HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS (2013)
  9. BULLET TO THE HEAD (2013)
  10. SAVAGE STREETS (1984)
  11. BATMAN BEGINS (2008)
  12. THE FLASHPOINT PARADOX (2013)
  13. ARCTIC BLAST (2010)
  14. KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (1978)
  15. REWIND THIS! (2013)
  16. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2 (2013)


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Sum-Sum-Summertime at ER

I was a little shocked the other day when I fired up the ER blog to find an old review and discovered that I hadn't posted an update since May 3rd! Looking at the blog you'd think nothing had been going on here at the House of ER, but you'd be wrong. Let's catch up, shall we...

The Current Issue
For a few moments there it was looking grim regarding future printings of ER #51 (not to mention our upcoming issue). ComixPress, who printed the first two print runs and did an outstanding job, decided to close up shop which kind of left us in a lurch. When the announcement came I was actually down to the last handful of issues from our second printing but thanks to input from pals and some quick Googling I was able to locate a company that could do just as nice a job (if not better), for the same price, and much faster. For those still looking to pick up a copy of ER #51 – SHOCK CINEMA calls it "chock full of schlocky cinema and savvy analysis" while LIQUID CHEESE raves "Do yourself a favor and order one NOW!" – visit our site for info on ordering on-line or via mail.

The Upcoming Issue
Speaking of ER #52 – which was teased in the back of ER #51 – I'm happy to report that it is coming together nicely and is on schedule for an October 2013 release. There will be a big review section covering a slew of genres, an interview or two you won't find anywhere else and a heaping helping of action with a look at men's action paperbacks, action cinema and much more. I won't know exact contents until mid-August but this issue is already starting to feel more like the ER of old.

Other Writing
Despite the fact that this blog has been woefully neglected while I've been juggling travel, my daughter's summer vacation and my real world jobs, I have been staying active in the writing trenches. If you haven't checked it out already be sure to keep your eyes peeled for the next issue of Brian Harris and Tim Paxton's excellent WENG'S CHOP. Each issue gets bigger and better and #4 (due out soon) is no exception. No article from me this issue but I did contribute a handful of trash cinema reviews and sleaze fans will not want to miss ER contributor David Zuzelo's epic contribution to the new issue.

I was also pickled tink to be asked to contribute to the Italian Horror Week over at Dr. Terror's Blog of Horrors. Dr. Jimmy delivered a crushing lineup of content based around that simple concept, covering everything from old school giallo to Spaghetti Splatter and more. My beer-fueled recap of one of my favorite nights at the Super-130 Drive-In appeared during the week and thanks to the good doctor looks better than I could have ever hoped.

Dan's Funky Finds and Vintage Mags
Some of you who have known me over the years and/or followed the zine know that I'm also a frequent haunter of garage sales, flea markets, thrift stores and their ilk. Though I have slowed down quite a bit in that department I still keep my eyes peeled for good trash to share which led to me breaking down and opening an eBay store devoted to selling movies, zines, books, posters and more. I'm still in the process of cataloging and posting items but you'll definitely want to bookmark the store. A recent trip to Kentucky yielded about 20 years of vintage Playboy (1965-1985) plus some other classic smut, I just stumbled upon a stack of great 1970s trash and horror posters (most in unbelievable condition), and I'm always pulling out boxes of DVDs, zines, mags, promo items and more. If you want to keep up with our latest findings and listings be sure to check out the Dan's Funky Finds Twitter feed and Facebook page.

What I've Been Watching
Been trying to juggle stuff I have to watch for review purposes with stuff I want to watch. The former category includes such flicks as: THE COOK (awful, schizo wannabe horror spoof); SNOW SHARK (dumb as a post but consistently mediocre); BAD MEAT (a killer first 78 minutes submarined by the final six); THE DARK DEALER (surprisingly enjoyable anthology throwback); SLAUGHTER TALES (entertaining, if a tad too long, love letter to SOV horror trash); and, SEXCULA (amateurish, but fun, Canadian erotic horror comedy derailed by endlessly dull sex scenes). On the want to watch side FAST 6 was as wonderfully check-your-brain-at-the-door fun as I could have hoped while the reboot (remake? sequel?) of THE EVIL DEAD left me feeling kinda "meh". Streaming continued to blow my mind (in good and bad ways) with the jaw-droppingly awesome CATCH THE HEAT and The Asylum's staggeringly unwatchable 500 MPH STORM (with Casper Van Dien). I guess they can't all be SHARKNADO.

What I've Been Reading
While I've devoted most of the last few months to plowing through my collection of Destroyer and Executioner novels – with one-off sidetrips with such men's action characters as The Butcher and The Protector – I've still found time to work in a few other reads. DRINKING WITH STRANGERS is a breezy memoir from rocker/producer Butch Walker while MARVEL COMICS: THE UNTOLD STORY features a fascinating history of the comic giant from its pre-superhero heyday to the present. COMMANDO: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF JOHNNY RAMONE is a must-read for Ramones fans while KISS: BEHIND THE MASK is probably for die-hards only. Currently, I'm juggling my loves of food and music with LOUDER THAN HELL (an oral history of heavy metal) and BACK OF THE HOUSE, another look at life as a restaurant worker.

Whew! I suppose that ends this little catch-up session. I promise to (try and) be more diligent about posting here in the coming months. But you can always stay up-to-date by checking out the ER Twitter feed and Facebook page.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Fantasia 2012: Week One Wrap-Up by Matthew Saliba


Fantasia 2012 - Week One Wrap-Up by Matthew Saliba

The first week of the 2012 Fantasia International Film Festival is in the books and while I may be a little premature in making such an announcement, I have to say that this year is shaping up to be one of the best years yet. I had a feeling going into the event this year, that there was a change in the air. The films were relatively unknown. The screenings had more of a "must-see" vibe about them than they had in previous years. And there was a sense of discovery akin to the one I felt back in 1997 when Fantasia popped North America's Euro-Trash cherry with 35mm screenings of all the Italian horror greats. There's still two more weeks to go so hopefully my sense of optimism won't diminish.

Over the course of seven days, I managed to catch 12 screenings, which admittedly is a little less than the number I was aiming for. But let's face it, I'm a little older, I have a couple of adorable kitties at home who aren't going to feed and/or snuggle with themselves and more importantly, my ass can only handle so much of what has to be THE most uncomfortable seats in the world. That being said, with the exception of a couple of duds, virtually every one of these screenings delivered making the comfort of my fine behind a secondary priority to the visual splendors assaulting my retinas in the most pleasant ways imaginable.

So without any further dudes, here's a list of what I saw this week, along with my review and star rating (based on **** rating system).

FOR LOVE'S SAKE (2012) - directed by Takashi Miike - Japan
Takashi Miike is the quintessential inconsistent director. I suppose that inconsistency goes with the territory of being a filmmaker who churns out more films than Lindsay Lohan churns out STDs. But that being said, it can sometimes be very frustrating watching a Miike film because I know that this is the same man who gave us such classics as ICHI THE KILLER, VISITOR Q and GOZU and if he only took a more "auteur" approach to filmmaking and concentrated on delivering one film every couple of years, his body of work would be regarded in a more positive light. Instead, Miike has developed into a filmmaker whose work can cause a sense of anxiety and dread insofar as you don't know which Miike you're getting this time around. What is consistent about him, however, is his ability to create an incredible opening sequence, a memorable ending and a middle that jumps from one tangent to another before puttering out altogether.

FOR LOVE'S SAKE is very much a Miike film in that regard. This is a musical that combines elements of GREASE with WEST SIDE STORY and going into this, I almost forgot that this was a Miike film and decided to appreciate it as a musical, one of my favorite genres. The first act is a wonderfully absurd commentary on the arbitrary nature of the musical and how in spite of the most serious or ridiculous of circumstances, characters will stop what they're doing to break into song and dance. I really wish the film kept that up for the entire duration of the picture. Unfortunately, as with most Miike films, the story develops and it's a real mess. The film jumps from one scenario to another and goes a good hour without any musical numbers whatsoever. Miike's talents are not in the storytelling department and it shows here. What's really unfortunate is that the film has quite the incredible climactic sequence that actually brought a tear to my eye. But by the time the film lurches over the two-hour mark to get to this sequence, I was bored out of my mind with the rather uninteresting narrative that just plods on and on with no end in sight.

All this being said, the film did go over very well with the audience and that got me thinking about what Miike really excels at. He's the perfect "film festival director" in that while most of his films don't hold up well on home video, they do seem to hit all the right points as far as being a crowd-pleasing production goes. Everyone loved the musical numbers, the sudden bursts of violence and the surreal, black comedy that Japanese genre films seem to do exceedingly well at. And I have to admit, that while I would've hated this film had I been watching a screener alone at home, the fact that I was with an audience made this film seem a lot more tolerable.  Rating: **


DRAGON (2011) - directed by Peter Chan - Hong Kong / China
Donnie Yen is certainly no stranger to Fantasia audiences. His famous IP MAN series were real crowd-pleasers and his screen presence is undeniable. So when it was announced that Yen would be returning to the big screen with another kung-fu classic, I was very much psyched about seeing DRAGON.

Earlier I was discussing consistency and Miike's lack of it as a director. Well, one thing you can't accuse Hong Kong cinema of is inconsistency. The genre films that pour out of the Hong Kong film industry are almost always excellent and are usually the highlights of the Fantasia International Film Festival. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why audiences seem to really connect to these pictures, but I'd have to say that between the glossy, Hollywood-esque production values to the stories that feature timeless values of good vs. evil to the nostalgia factor of genres like martial arts which conjure up memories of watching Shaw Bros., Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan films on VHS, you have sufficient reason for their success.

DRAGON is another winner for Team HK. If you didn't know any better, you could almost confuse this film for being another sequel to IP MAN. It features Yen in a familiar role, a local loved and admired by his village, pushed to the brink of his tolerance for incivility and forced to defend himself and his family against the tyranny of an oppressing regime via his unbelievable kung-fu skills. But what makes this film particularly stand out is its use of absurd comedy vis a vis the character of an inspector who suspects that Yen is more than what he seems. The inspector is also well versed in medicine resulting in a film that sometimes comes across as IP MAN meets HOUSE M.D. Other examples of humor can be found at the end with some comedic overacting on the part of the main villain and the especially absurd way in which he is dispatched.  There are also numerous references to classic Shaw Bros. films, including THE ONE-ARMED SWORDSMEN which got a chuckle out of me.

There are times when it's hard to tell whether DRAGON is supposed to be taken seriously or as a comedy. But by the time the third act rolls along, you realize that this film is clearly meant to be an homage of sorts to the sensibilities of the old Shaw Bros films that always did a magnificent job of balancing serious drama with slapstick humor. If you go into DRAGON thinking that, you'll come out with a big smile on your face. Rating: ***


BLOOD-C: THE LAST DARK (2012) - directed by Naoyoshi Shiotani - Japan
I love anime. Actually, let me correct myself. I love anime circa '80s and '90s. Back then, anime was something new and exciting boasting mature storylines and beautiful hand-drawn animation. Nowadays, I find anime to be cold and pretentious with enough CGI imagery to fool you into thinking you're watching a cut-scene from FINAL FANTASY VII.

I very much enjoyed BLOOD: THE LAST VAMPIRE back when I saw it at a local Manga film festival here in Montreal. But this film left me feeling empty inside. Between a plot that was so convoluted it made MISSION IMPOSSIBLE seem like BILLY MADISON and a style of animation that was just plain ugly to look at, I have to admit that I actually walked out on the film.

While I'm hesitant to give this film a rating at all, I do feel I sat through enough of it to get the gist of where it was going and unfortunately, it was a road not worth travelling on. Rating: *


JUAN OF THE DEAD (2011) - directed by Alejandro Brugues - Cuba
Now this is when Fantasia really got started for me!

I went into this expecting a SHAUN OF THE DEAD clone only with more Cuban cigars, but came out with my stomach literally hurting from having laughed my ass off throughout the entire film. Make no mistake, JUAN OF THE DEAD owes a major debt to its British counterpart. From the concept of an average Joe confronted with an impending zombie apocalypse to the fat comedic sidekick who's horny and dumb as dirt, you could easily write this off as a SOTD knock-off. However, the fact that this film was shot in Cuba and has the 50-years plus background of Communist tyranny behind it, makes this film one of the most fascinating genre mashups ever conceived.

My only regret after watching this film was that I wished director Brugues was in attendance for a Q&A. I would have loved to have learned how a film like this could have been made in Cuba and what, if any, difficulties he experienced in getting the film off the ground. Rating: ***1/2


COLD STEEL (2011) - directed by David Wu - China
While you may not be familiar with the name David Wu, you're most certainly aware of his work as an editor, cutting such Hong Kong classics as A BETTER TOMORROW, HARD-BOILED and A BULLET IN THE HEAD among others. After working in television for 17 years in North America, Wu was finally enticed to return to China to direct this emotional powerhouse of a war film, COLD STEEL.

COLD STEEL has many things going for it. It has a very engaging story that manages to put a human face on wartime and how it affects the individual living through it. It has strong performances that resonate quite profoundly with audiences. And it clearly has Wu's background as an editor imprinted all over it as evident by the smooth pacing of the film that actually makes you wish the film was a little longer than it actually is because you are so sucked into the narrative.

On the other hand, the film does sometimes veer into Michael Bay territory, circa PEARL HARBOR with its pro-China propaganda. In the wake of films like Clint Eastwood's LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA, the gauntlet has been thrown down and the challenge for filmmakers making war pictures is to find a way to move away from the "woe is me, my country is all innocent" motif and into more subtle, mature presentations of what war is really like. However, evil the enemy may be, a lot of the footmen doing the fighting for the powers that be do not necessarily agree and support the mentality that sent them off to war in the first place. Therefore, it behooves filmmakers to find a way to portray both sides as being capable of good and evil. This is a trend I've noticed in a lot of these Chinese war films, which makes one wonder about Chinese-Japanese relations and the politics that underline them. In my interview with David Wu, I tried to get him to open up about this and discuss just how ingrained the memory of what happened in WW II is and whether any lingering negative connotations associated with the enemy may influence their depiction in contemporary films and screenplays. Wu was adamant about wanting to move away from these kinds of films and offer a more human approach and to his credit, he does have a couple of characters that represent the "good side of Japan." But a stronger more consistent effort to present both sides would have been appreciated and is almost expected in today's day and age.

But that being said, the film is a lot of fun with lots of great action set-pieces that conjure up memories of the good old days of Hong Kong genre cinema. Rating: ***


SUSHI GIRL (2012) - directed by Kern Saxton - USA
Let's face it. If this film were made without the killer lineup of cult film heroes that director Saxton was able to rustle up, I don't think the film would have received anywhere near the kind of attention that it's been getting. The story isn't particularly original and the groan-inducing twist at the end is just that.

That being said, the strength of this film lies not in its story and the cliches that comprise it, but rather in the performances of the absolutely dynamite cast and the dynamics of the relationships between the characters that only accomplished and experienced thespians such as these can deliver.

Some of the highlights of this film include Tony Todd delivering a gut-wrenching monologue that will bring as many tears to your eyes as Todd manages to bring to his while reciting his lines. Mark Hamill delivers a deliciously wicked performance that recalls elements of his Joker from BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES. And perhaps the biggest surprise is seeing Atreyu himself, Noah Hathaway delivering a strong leading male performance that will hopefully open more doors for him in the years to come.

Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the film and the cat-and-mouse game that ensued throughout the piece. There's some great music and sound design that adds an awful lot to the tension of the film. I'm just painfully aware of how unoriginal it is and even more than aware that if there was ever a film whose success was entirely indebted to its cast, it's SUSHI GIRL. Rating: ***


LLOYD THE CONQUEROR (2011) - directed by Michael Peterson - Canada
This is a film that for me, completely epitomizes the newfound "discovery feeling" of the festival. I went into this film with pretty much zero expectations as I hadn't read anything about it nor heard any buzz about the film going into the festival. But when I came out, I had a huge smile on my face and a confident feeling in the future of Canadian cinema, provided that Michael Peterson is given a blank check to make whatever the hell he wants to make from this point out.

LLOYD THE CONQUEROR was my favorite film of the week and will most definitely find a place in my "Top 10" come the end of the festival on August 9th.

As odd as this is going to sound, what this film reminded me of more than anything else was THE SANDLOT. Granted, the characters are a lot older, the film takes place in Calgary, Alberta Canada, and the subject matter is LARPing and not baseball. But the fundamentals of the two films are the same insofar as you have a group of close friends that remind me of my old high school gang who hang out, bust each others' balls and dream about finding that one woman who will blow their mind, among other body parts. This group finds itself in a pickle and enlists the help of the town legend to fight a mutual enemy that stands in their way to a better tomorrow. And in the end they triumph with loads of laughs along the way.

Maybe this film spoke to my inner arrested adolescent or maybe it reminded me of my own childhood and how I grew up with a bunch of friends who had interests that weren't necessarily mainstream-friendly, but either way, I thoroughly enjoyed every frame of this film and sincerely hope this film gets some kind of major theatrical release as the world deserves, nay, needs to learn that Canadians are more than capable of making comedies about men with brooms. Rating: ****



DEAD SUSHI (2012) - directed by Noboru Iguchi - Japan
I have to admit that I was really going to pass on this film. Year after year, I get suckered into watching one of Iguchi's films and I always come out feeling angry and a little less alive for having subjected myself to such unmitigated crap. But my fiancee really wanted to see this film and far be it from me to disappoint her.

Boy am I glad I didn't pass on this!

DEAD SUSHI was surprisingly a lot of fun and a film that managed to sustain the level of absurdity that the concept of the piece promised. While the film is undoubtedly over-the-top and certainly not meant to be taken seriously at all, I was especially surprised to find myself caring about the main female protagonist. I also felt that Iguchi grew as a filmmaker with DEAD SUSHI with some really nice camerawork and angles. Granted, the cinematography still looks like it was the result of a Mini-DV prosumer camera, it does reflect the work of a filmmaker who is starting to mature as an artist.

Never thought I'd say something like that about a film which features a singing egg-sushi! Rating: ***



MY AMITYVILLE HORROR (2012) - directed by Eric Walter - USA
This was one of my most anticipated films of the festival and in many respects I felt it delivered on its promise. I've been following the Amityville story for some time now and I'm a huge fan of the original films, namely the first three, yes even the goofy 3D one! I was especially intrigued by the possibilities of what Daniel Lutz would bring to the table as far as shedding new light on what exactly happened in that fabled house.

To director Eric Walter's credit, Daniel Lutz is given ample time to speak his mind and let his character be revealed bit by bit. We learn that this is a very intense and sad man who was clearly traumatized by whatever happened that night and believes his life was irrevocably scarred by supernatural forces brought upon by his stepfather's interest in the occult. That latter point is probably the most interesting aspect of the film and adds another layer to the mystery of what may have happened that night. In this film we learn that George Lutz was apparently into Satanism, hypnotism and the like and given his penchant for being into such things, it is believed that he served as a gateway for these paranormal forces to influence the lives of the Lutz family.

I found myself absolutely enthralled by this film. My feelings on whether or not this is real notwithstanding, I thought Walter did a tremendous job of not only letting Lutz speak his mind, but also providing another perspective of the story and balancing some of Lutz's more outlandish claims with facts grounded in reality. Truth be told, Lutz does paint a very vivid picture and almost fools you into believing him. It's only when he starts bringing up stories of his stepfather levitating tools in his garage with his mind that Lutz comes across as being delusional, which is a shame because there's a part of me that really wants to believe that there are more things in Heaven and Earth than that of my philosophy. Rating: ***1/2


YOU ARE THE APPLE OF MY EYE (2011) - directed by Giddens Ko - Taiwan
Year after year, Fantasia presents a crop of romantic comedies from the Far East which put the sappy, melodramatic crap Hollywood churns out to shame. This year was no exception. YOU ARE THE APPLE OF MY EYE tells the age-old story of the girl who got away, a feeling that most men can probably relate to. This film was funny, smart, incredibly well-written and more importantly, one of the most realistic romantic comedies I've ever seen in that while we do get a happy ending of sorts, it's a bittersweet one and one that in many respects, can be interpreted as being quite sad. This was a real crowd pleaser and one of my favorites of the fest by far. Rating: ****


MEMORY OF THE DEAD (2011) - directed by Valentin Javier Diment - Argentina
Sadly the only thing memorable about this screening was the fact that for some strange reason, R. Kelly's TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET was playing before the film unspooled on the big screen.

MEMORY OF THE DEAD was billed as a horror-comedy in the vein of EVIL DEAD II, and while the film certainly has that cabin in the woods besieged by supernatural phenomena going for it, it has very little else to show for itself. It's inability to balance comedy and horror coupled with some garish lighting, a cliche-ridden screenplay and some horrible CGI effects where the filmmaker clearly implemented for the sake of doing so and not because he had to, MEMORY OF THE DEAD is a memory I'll be suppressing for the rest of my life. Rating: *1/2


ALTER EGOS (2012) - directed by Jordan Galland - USA
And finally we come to the last film I saw during the first week of Fantasia and boy did it end my week with a bang!

Some might argue that the whole deconstructing the superhero genre and placing these mythological characters within the context of everyday life is played out, particularly in the wake of films such as KICK-ASS, SUPER and to a lesser extent the Christopher Nolan DARK KNIGHT TRILOGY. But quite frankly, if filmmakers can find new and exciting ways to tell these kinds of stories, then more power to them!

ALTER EGOS employs a combination of styles ranging from the neurotic nature of Woody Allen, to the pitch-perfect naturalism of Kevin Smith dialogue to the visual minimalism of Wes Anderson and succeeds in the most entertaining and imaginative way possible. I would love to see this world explored further in a television series where we get to follow the continues adventures of Fridge and the rest of the Superhero Corps. Director Galland creates a universe that is entirely plausible if superheroes did in fact exist in today's world. All the performances are excellent and the costume design is particularly inspired. But is just me or did the actor playing See-Through look an awful lot like Trey Parker? Rating: ***1/2


Friday, August 05, 2011

The Dirty Dozen – Premiere Edition

Entertainment Weekly has their Must List.

Golf Magazine has the Front 9.

But what if you don't care about golf or what the cast of Glee is up to? What if you what you really want to know is what Eurotrash DVDs are coming out or what blogs you should be reading or bands you should be listening to in order to get your recommended daily dose of trash?

Well, fear not. ER is here with The Dirty Dozen, a new feature that will provide you with a look at the junk culture and fringe media stuff we love, Love, LOVE ... at the moment. Stop back every weekend for a new installment and be sure to drop me a line if you have something you feel is worthy of being in The Dirty Dozen. Got a mag, comic, zine, disc, movie or, well, anything you want us to check out? See the sidebar for our PO Box address.

Enough yakking. On to this week's list!
  1. The Planet of the Apes Saga: Original Recipe – I don't know if RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES is any good or not, though I was pleasantly surprised to see its rating on Rotten Tomatoes well past 80% when I got up this morning. But I do know that the new flick seems to have sparked renewed interest in the original five films which I love so much. Best of all, I got to watch all five flicks on the big screen last weekend thanks to the guys at Exhumed Films and believe it or not, I think I actually like the series more than I did about a week ago. Rather than simply make the same flick over and over again each film has its own unique take on the storyline, and, more importantly, the saga works as a great, epic tale. Sure, some of the effects are dated and the messages simplistic, but I'll go on the record as saying the STAR WARS flicks can't hold a candle to the APES saga.
  2. TENEBRAE (DVD) – Though I've been spending a lot of time these last few months immersed in The Summer of ACTION! (with more posts to come soon, I promise), an ongoing side project has been a reassessment of the work of Dario Argento. I've always thought The Italian Hitchcock was a little overrated but felt like I should go back and give fresh watches to some of his classic – and not so classic – work to see if I was being fair. I was surprised by how much I loved the nightmarish INFERNO and how much the trashy, nutzoid PHENOMENA didn't click with me. But a recent viewing of the seemingly personal TENEBRAE reminded me that when he was firing on all cylinders there weren't many who could touch Argento's deft touch when it came to giallo. It's an entertaining, funny and well-acted mystery packed with iconic death scenes and a superb cast.
  3. THE BASEMENT VHS Screener – As the DVD/Blu-Ray era closes in on the end of its second decade, one can be left wondering what's left to release? Thanks to the horror market's insatiable need to see anything and everything, no matter how poorly acted or cheaply made, it looks like shot-on-video and shot-on-super-8mm (!) features will ensure that horror fans have plenty to watch in the years to come. THE BASEMENT takes a page out of the SLEDGEHAMMER book by providing screeners on both DVD and VHS. THE VHS screener is a site to behold, an old school big box with colorful artwork of a buxom blonde being attached by nasty beasts from the titular basement. I don't know if the flick will even be watchable (though I was pleasantly surprised by SLEDGEHAMMER) but the screener brought a tear to my eye and reminded me of the good old days of turning those worn out cardboard boxes over and over in my hands.
  4. Klaus Kinski's Directorial Debut (And Swan Song) Comes to US DVD – Regular readers know of my love for the irascible and outrageous European film star Klaus Kinski. I've long contended that no matter how brief his role, "The German Olivier" usually makes anything he's in worth watching. (A theory that was severaly put to the test by PSYCHOPATH.) Towards the end of his long and storied career, Kinski conspired to write and direct a biography of Niccolo Paganini, an Italian violinist and composer whose wild lifestyle and violent playing style led some to suggest that he'd made a deal with the devil (take THAT Robert Johnson!). The resulting film – KINSKI PAGANINI – has only been available on German VHS and DVD but good pal and Cinema Arcana honcho Bruce Holecheck recently informed me that Mya (who released the Turkish Kinski oddity EVIL FACE) will be putting the film out on US DVD in November. I'll provide more details about the disc as they become available and be sure to check out the Cinema Arcana Upcoming Release List!
  5. NEVER SLEEP AGAIN: THE ELM STREET LEGACY (DVD) – I've always thought the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET franchise should have ended after the third installment – DREAM WARRIORS directed by Chuck Russell. It made up for some of the glaring sins of ELM STREET 2, gave the series a nice sense of closure thanks to the presence of Heather Langenkamp and John Saxon, and would have been a good way to end things on a high note. Thanks to boffo box office we all know that's not how things played out and the more of an outrageous wise-cracker Freddy became the more my interest in the series waned. But I'm glad it went on as long as it did, because it gave filmmakers Daniel Farrands and Andrew Kasch the opportunity to create NEVER SLEEP AGAIN, an exhaustive, funny and informative look at the franchise, the people behind it, and how New Line really was "The House That Freddy Built". Who knew a four-hour ELM STREET doc would be my front-runner for my favorite film I've seen all year?!
  6. The Stalkers: Yesterday is No Tomorrow (CD) – I caught this New York garage band a few weeks ago when they opened for The Dwarves here in Baltimore. The moment I saw them setting up on stage I had a feeling they'd be the kind of band I'd dig... the members looked like guys I hung out with in college and you could almost smell the Ramones/Thunders/Dictators vibe. Oddly enough, the dude I had pegged for their roadie – a burly biker type who looked like he might have kidnapped the rest of the band – was actually their lead singer, giving the garage-pop an interesting visual dynamic and gleefully sinister playfulness. The disc I picked up from their merch table after the show is four years old and doesn't really do them justice, but with great music in short supply these days I was happy to discover a band I'm anxious to hear more from.
  7. Louis Fowler's Damaged Viewing (Podcast) – Longtime ER readers are certainly already familiar with Louis Fowler, a pop culture watchdog who has written some of my favorite reviews at the site. And when he's not telling everybody within earshot how great BATMAN & ROBIN is he's also a damn fine blogger, food writer (check out his work in our sister publication The Hungover Gourmet) and host of Damaged Hearing (available via iTunes). But I'm partial to Louis's latest venture – with frequent guest and card-carrying Man of ACTION! John Grace – a hysterical and interesting look at cinema called (what else?) Damaged Viewing. Louis and Co. jump in the studio after seeing such films as TRANSFORMERS 3, GREEN LANTERN and CAPTAIN AMERICA, only to find the conversation veering wildly off-topic before coming back around.
  8. Black Dynamite: The Animated Series Premiere (TV) – I finally caught up with BLACK DYNAMITE at this year's ActionFest and busted a gut over Michael Jai White's dead-on paean to 70s blaxploitation cinema. With DYNAMITE already a full-fledged cult film hit, the character has his own comic book and is now set for his big TV debut. But first, this Monday, August 8th will see the premiere of BLACK DYNAMITE: THE ANIMATED SERIES on AdultSwim.com. The 11-minute pilot, featuring the voices of White, Tommy Davidson and others from the film, is just the start as Dynamite will be joining the Adult Swim lineup later this year.
  9. First Photo of Henry Cavill as The Man of Steel – I was shocked when the first photo of Henry Cavill in the Superman costume from the upcoming THE MAN OF STEEL hit the internet and nerds began complaining. Oh no, wait, I wasn't shocked at all. In fact, I resisted the urge to look at the pic when the link first hit my mailbox because I wanted time for the ferocious idiocy to come to a rolling boil. Sure enough, comments sections on blogs, websites and social media sites were packed with complaints ranging from nitpicky (Why is the S so big? The cape looks like drapes.) to nitwitty (Bring back Brandon Routh! Where's the curled lock of hair?). Frankly, I'm not a huge Superman fan but even I was dismayed at Kal-El's last cinematic outing and had little interest in this new "reboot", even if I like some of Zack Snyder's work. But not only does the first look at Supes remind me of the George Reeves show that I grew up on but for the first time in a long time the Boy Scout looks like he's finally ready to kick some bad guy ass. (I was not similarly enthused about the first glimpse of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.)
  10. Bruce Springsteen Auditions for PERFECT? (Viral) – There came a point in the 1980s where you had to make a music video. It didn't matter how big a star you were, music videos were a big promotional tool... even if they made you look like a tool. Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" was, I believe, The Boss's first music video and the one that aired ad nauseum on MTV is largely remembered for the scene at the end with a post-MISFITS OF SCIENCE/pre-FRIENDS Courtney Cox being pulled from the audience to "dance" with Bruce. (The moment was even referenced on Cox's underrated COUGAR TOWN last season.) As stiff and uncomfortable as that video is, it's like a Kubrick film in comparison to this early, original version that I stumbled across thanks to the great Butch Walker (whose new album hits later this month). For twelve painful minutes The Boss arthritically lurches through "dance moves", does some kinda weird lasso thing over his head and snaps his fingers to a non-existent beat that only he can hear. That'd be bad enough, but the black pants, wife-beater tee, suspenders and black headband make it look like he's trying out for a role in PERFECT. Hard to believe this is the guy who did "Candy's Room".
  11. Kindle Bargains (eBooks) – After getting an iPad this summer I found myself blowing past the eBook apps because I couldn't imagine I'd ever curl up with the device to read a good book. I've always been a textural guy who likes the feel and smell of a used paperback or the ability to roll up a mag or zine and stuff it in my pocket. But I was won over by the Kindle app and the fact that Created, The Destroyer was available for the low, low price of 99 cents along with a ton of other Destroyer novels! (Hey, if you're going to take the plunge into a Summer of ACTION! you might as well read the first book in the most famous men's action series.) Then, while cruising around West Philly this past weekend, ER co-founder Lou Goncey informed me that the 25th anniversary edition of John Skipp & Craig Spector's groundbreaking splatterpunk horror novel Light at the End was available for less than the price of a cup of coffee. The eBook will never replace the fun of finding great, used trash at a flea market and I won't take my iPad into the can with me, but good bargains on great books will certainly keep me coming back for more.
  12. JAWS Meets... Peanuts? – As a kid I loved anything and everything related to PLANET OF THE APES, KISS, and James Bond, just to name a few. Having older siblings meant that I also got my hands on passed-down volumes of classic Peanuts strips re-printed in paperbacks and had escorts who would take me to see JAWS, even when I wasn't supposed to. Given how much time I spent in the ocean you'd have thought the flick would have freaked me out, but I went the opposite direction and, for a brief period, embraced all things shark. My 9th birthday even had a bit of a JAWS theme, with me getting a huge towel featuring the iconic JAWS poster (wish I still had that) and a plastic Great White Shark bank. Never expected to see beloved childhood icons like Snoopy and JAWS mashed up, but, well, you just never know. (Link via Super Punch)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hans, Bubi: Happy Anniversary DIE HARD!

Twenty-two years ago John McTiernan's DIE HARD premiered to much skepticism. After the role of detective John McClane was turned down by seemingly every big name actor in Hollywood, the producers paid a then-jaw-dropping $5 million to Moonlighting star Bruce Willis.

We all know how this story turned out. DIE HARD became a smash hit that spawned three sequels, Willis became one of the world's biggest movie stars, and the pitch "It's DIE HARD on (fill in the blank)" turned into a cliché that resulted in flicks like SPEED (bus), UNDER SIEGE (boat), UNDER SIEGE 2 (train), AIR FORCE ONE (plane), etc.

I still remember checking DIE HARD out a few days before its official release. The studio was sneaking it at a local theater to help build word-of-mouth and the strategy worked. My buddies and I raved endlessly about the flick for the next 48 hours and even went to see it again opening weekend. And again and again after that. I'd guesstimate I saw DIE HARD about 15 times in the theater.

Hey, what do you want, I had a lot of free time on my hands in those days.

Thank you DIE HARD. Thank you for reinventing the over-the-top action film. Thank you for making it possible for films like HUDSON HAWK and THE LAST BOY SCOUT to get made. Thank you bringing us Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber. Thank you for being one of the single most re-watchable films of the last 25 years.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Massive May Update of Trash and Sleaze

Twenty-five, yep, twenty-five new reviews highlight our May update at the on-line home of EXPLOITATION RETROSPECT. There's a little something for everyone, including Dutch demons, mad doctors, lusty professors, American nudes, Spaghetti WWII shenanigans, homicidal snowed-in campers, muscle-bound heroes and much more.

This update wouldn't have been possible without the tireless review efforts of Sinferno who tackled everything from animation and erotica to sexy sci-fi and speculative nature flicks!

I'd also like to give a shout out to two new contributors to ER's ranks – please welcome Jay Kulpa (who also contributes to DVD Snapshot) and Casey Criswell who runs the Cinema Fromage site, is a frequent contributor to Bloody Good Horror and co-hosts the Bloody Good Horror podcast.

You can check out the complete run-down of reviews at www.dantenet.com, the exclusive online home of Exploitation Retrospect. And don't forget to check out our Twitter feed and newly launched Facebook page.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Celebrate Launch of ER Facebook Page, Win TRANSYLMANIA!

Celebrate the launch of the new ER Facebook page by winning a free DVD!

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment is giving away a copy of their upcoming horror-comedy TRANSYLMANIA to one lucky ER reader. What's it all about? If the box art doesn't give you an idea here's the official synopsis:

Stoked over the smokin’ Romanian hottie he’s meet online, an über-randy college student talks his dimwitted friends into joining him for a semester of beer, babes and bongs at what they think is a prestigious Transylvanian university. What they discover instead is a creepy castle populated by a torture-loving mad scientist, an overcybersexed humpback, the nubile spirit of a decomposed sorceress and a bevy of horny vampire chicks that have finally found a student body they can really sink their fangs into.

So it's sorta like EUROTRIP MEETS PAUL NASCHY? Hey, if it's 1/10th as entertaining as that concept sounds I'm in. And you can be, too.

All you have to do to enter is send an e-mail to editor@dantenet.com with the subject line TRANSYLMANIA before midnight EST on Sunday, April 25th. We'll select one winner at random. Please, only one entry per e-mail address.

Check out the TRANSYLAMANIA trailer below or visit the Sony Pictures website for more info. And don't forget to visit the new ER page at Facebook.


New ER Page Launched at Facebook

I suppose it was inevitable.

Print zine.

Website.

Blog.

Twitter.

And now we have an ER Facebook page.

Come on by and join the fun!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Clip from THE RUNAWAYS

THE RUNAWAYS – the story of Joan Jett, Cherie Currie, Lita Ford, Kim Fowley and all-girl rockers The Runaways – makes its debut at Sundance. Geek Tyrant had this clip to share. I'm not sickened, so that's a start...

And the Award Goes To... My Best in Film and DVD for 2009

I'm not exactly sure how it got to be this late in 2010 before I got around to writing up my 2009 movie/DVD "best of" list. But I figured that if February 1, 2010 rolled around before it got posted there wasn't much sense in posting it.

When I posted this list on Facebook a week or so ago I was mildly surprised that people were asking me how I found the time to watch so many flicks. Frankly, I didn't think I'd seen that many and so I started digging into the numbers:

First Time Watches: 75
Rewatches: 30

While that number represents a slight increase over 2008 it still pales in comparison to the days when I'd see 200 new movies a year, including about 75% of the theatrical releases that hit the Delaware Valley. Back then, of course, I was a single zine editor who cared about movies, music and drink... and not necessarily in that order.

These days I'm a married, work-at-home dad with a precocious two-and-a-half year-old daughter so I guess it should come as somewhat of a surprise that I was able to squeeze in what amounts to two movies per week. But, upon closer examination, I realized that about one-third of everything I saw – roughly 30 flicks – came about thanks to three marathon viewing sessions: a weekend of trash viewing while my wife and daughter were in Florida; a weekend in Cleveland with pals from the European Trash Paradise; and, the annual Exhumed Marathon.

Take those 30 flicks – watched over a period of about six days – out of the mix and now we're looking at a much more realistic rate of one movie every 4.8 days. And with my daughter's aversion to afternoon naps I fear my 2010 total will be much, much lower.

That said, I'm happy to report that 2009 brought some pleasant surprises, a lot of flicks I'd recommend without hesitation and very few disappointments. Please keep in mind that I saw only three first-run releases in the theater (WATCHMEN, STAR TREK and THE HANGOVER) so almost everything on this list is not from 2009, these are just the things I watched in 2009. The full list will be posted below but first, some awards...

MOST PLEASANT SURPRISE
After the success of the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake and the public's apparent appetite for all things zombie, it came as no surprise that George Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD was tagged for a redo. Though it was handed over to horror hack Steve Miner I was looking forward to an updating of what I think is the underrated gem of Romero's zombie oeuvre. Unfortunately, word quickly spread that the finished flick was an unwatchable turd unsuitable for theatrical release. I caught up with it on Netflix Instant View one afternoon (Greatest. Invention. Ever.) and discovered it wasn't quite as bad as I'd heard though still nowhere near as good as I'd originally hoped. Miner's pedestrian direction lacks suspense, the storyline dispenses with most of the science vs. military plot of the original in favor of a CGI shoot 'em up and stars Nick Cannon and Mena Suvari make Lori Cardille and Joe Pilato look like Oscar nominees, but if you can overlook these things and check your brain at the door you might actually dig this in-name-only remake.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT
Like most horror fans I've been a fan of Bruce "The Chin" Campbell since he first threw himself around the cabin with reckless abandon in Sam Raimi's THE EVIL DEAD. Roles in that flick's two sequels cemented him as a B-movie star of note and I was always glad to see him pop up in something, whether it was a short-lived tv show, mainstream superhero flick or deodorant commercial. 2002's BUBBA HO-TEP reinforced the argument that Campbell, superb as an aging Elvis fighting a deadly mummy, was capable of greatness even when not playing Ash. Unfortunately, 2007's MY NAME IS BRUCE proved that even the great ones have their low-points... and this one was pretty low. Though I loved the concept of Campbell as a B-movie star with an overblown ego who gets mistaken for the heroes from his films, the whole thing is borderline unwatchable and easily a contender for the worst thing I watched all year. And I watched Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN remake/massacre.

MOST AMBITIOUS EUROTRASH FLICK
These days, my love of Eurotrash knows no bounds. While I was once strictly devoted to Italian splatter and all things Kinski my horizons have been opened (thanks to the aforementioned ETP) and I find myself eagerly diving into every giallo, Spaghetti western and Eurospy I can dig up to go along with my never-ending love of gorefests, post-nukes, Naschy flicks, Kinski and more. Heck, I even watched four Emanuelle flicks this year and waded through some of what I call "The Forgotten Fulcis". But of all the Eurotrash that I watched (roughly one-third of my 75 new watches), the one I got the biggest kick out of may have been the wonderfully ambitious ISLAND OF THE FISHMEN. I remember this flick hitting US shores as SCREAMERS, whose newspaper ads promised I'd see "a man turned inside out". What I didn't know was that Sergio Martino's late 70s epic was an enthusiastic mash-up of nature run amok, Jules Verne, voodoo and DR. MOREAU all rolled into one crazy ball. Mya's recent DVD release of the flick excises the shot-for-SCREAMERS inserts (with Cameron Mitchell) and restores it to its original glory, complete with underwater cities, Barbara Bach in wet tops, drug addicted fishmen, a slumming Joseph Cotten, and Richard Johnson as the Snidely Whiplash of Eurotrash villains.

MOST OVERRATED REMAKE OF A SEAGAL FLICK
When I first started seeing the commercials for the Liam Neeson revenge flick TAKEN I quipped to a pal that I'd be more likely to see it if it starred Steven Seagal. He responded that I needed to see Seagal's BELLY OF THE BEAST. Sure enough I rented the ironically-titled BELLY and it's pretty much the same film as TAKEN, complete with Big Steve as a retired CIA op whose daughter gets kidnapped while on a Thai vacation with a senator's daughter. Faster than you can say "blousy kimono" Seagal is kicking ass and saying things like "Anybody who stands in my way it's them or me!". I'd probably have nicer things to say about TAKEN were it not for the distracting presence of Maggie Grace, who was more than a decade older than her 17-year-old character at the time of shooting. Grace runs about spasmodically, shamelessly overacting to the point where her arrival on-screen was met with outright laughter, ruining what should have been a highly entertaining "gotta get my daughter back" revenge-a-thon worthy of Cannon-era Bronson.

BEST USE OF BIG STEVE IN A MOVIE OR TV SHOW
Since we're on the topic of Big Steve I thought we'd segue right into this award, which I had initially hoped would go to the highly anticipated A&E tv series STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN. For those who haven't seen the reality series, it follows Seagal (a 20 year veteran of the New Orleans PD... seriously) and his team as they ferret out crime in some of the worst sections of a post-Katrina Big Easy. Unfortunately, despite my high expectations for LAWMAN it falls into that sad reality category of "if you've seen one you've seen 'em all". The show tries to wrap each installment in some Big Steve Message (drugs are bad, guard dogs are good, Zen and the art of target shooting) but there's no drama, the black shoe polish on Seagal's hair is highly distracting, and you can only laugh at the doughy action star "oof"-ing his frame in and out of the SUV so many times. Granted, Seagal-Vision (TM) is a technological advance that blows Cameron's 3-D sci-fi flick out of the water, but I hate having to suffer through the actual show in order to see it. As egomaniacal reality shows go this one's more "real" than GENE SIMMONS' FAMILY JEWELS, but that show features better actors delivering the scripted "reality". And so, the award for Best Use of Big Steve in a Movie or TV Show goes to STEP BROTHERS, which features a hysterical scene of stars Will Ferrell and John Reilly bonding over Seagal's finest – and first – cinematic outing, ABOVE THE LAW.

BEST HOPE(S) FOR THE FUTURE OF HORROR
It can be a challenge to live life as an unapologetic horror fan. The flicks that end up getting the most press are often remakes of superior films from the genre's not-so-distant past or Americanized versions of tales of terror from Japan or Europe. When a truly entertaining genre effort does get made, the distributor frequently muffs it and shuffles the flick to the world of direct-to-DVD with little or no theatrical release. And that's too bad, especially in the case of at least four flicks I saw this year that I would have loved to see get a wide release instead of yet another installment of SAW or a wretched remake like MIRRORS. The best of the bunch was definitely SPLINTER, a claustrophobic and bloody re-imagining of Carpenter's THE THING largely set in gas station convenience store. Anchored by great performances from the film's three leads (including Paulo Costanzo of the hit USA series ROYAL PAINS), SPLINTER features tight, suspenseful direction from Toby Wilkins that kept me on the edge of my seat. Though I didn't think it quite lived up to the hype, I thoroughly enjoyed the Halloween-themed anthology TRICK R TREAT and will make a point of digging it out annually. My other two favorites illustrate both sides of the slasher genre... Robert Hall's LAID TO REST is a brutal and bloody slasher flick that starts fast and never takes its foot off the gas while HATCHET is a clever and loving homage to the slasher flicks of the 80s that deftly balances the blood and boobs with actual humor. To say I'm looking forward to more from the makers of these flicks is an understatement, especially FROZEN, the new flick from HATCHET director Adam Green.

BEST REASONS TO DELVE INTO THE 80s
Sometimes I have to remind myself that it only seems like I've seen every single slice of horror, sleaze, sexploitation and trash from the 80s. Thanks to the wonders of Netflix, the annual Exhumed Marathon and friends who I'm pretty sure have seen every single trash film from the 80s I keep discovering new and wonderful flicks that occasionally blow my mind. This year I happily enjoyed viewings of Jess Franco's FACELESS, JP Simon's SLUGS and Lucio Fulci's MURDER ROCK, all the while wondering how these flicks flew under my radar for the last two decades. Even films that failed to live up to my expectations despite enthusiastic endorsements (HARD ROCK ZOMBIES, VISITING HOURS) were still time better spent than watching DOOMSDAY, MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D, I LOVE YOU MAN or PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. Then again, pretty much every film on my list paled in comparison to AMERICAN HUNTER, BLOOD DELIRIUM, DEADLY PREY and RAW FORCE, an untouchable quartet of 80s Mindblowers... films whose viewing experiences left me aching with joy thanks to the passion and insanity thrown onto the screen. Without a doubt, seeing RAW FORCE – in which Cameron Mitchell and a cruise ship full of kung-fu champs and large breasted policewomen battle zombies, cannibals and a Hitler look-alike running a white slavery ring! – on the big screen was 2009's cinematic highlight.

Oh, I could keep going on handing out awards for things like Best Klaus Kinski Flick (FIVE FOR HELL), Bloodiest Mainstream Flick (the eye-popping RAMBO) and Best ALIENS Rip-Off Masquerading as a Zombie Flick (ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING) or spend time debating the merits of EMANUELLE & THE LAST CANNIBALS vs. EMANUELLE & THE WHITE SLAVE TRADE, but I've probably prattled on long enough.

2009 was a surprisingly good year of viewing and with technology like Netflix Instant View bringing more and more trash straight into my living room (COLD PREY? GALE FORCE? BIG BAD WOLF?) not to mention a steady stream of DVD-R badness flowing from pals like David Zuzelo at TOMB IT MAY CONCERN, who knows what 2010 – and a new decade – has in store?

FIRST TIME WATCHES
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ADVENTURELAND
ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK
AMERICAN HUNTER
BABY MAMA
BEHIND THE MASK
BELLY OF THE BEAST
BLACK EMANUELLE 2
BLACK EMANUELLE/WHITE EMANUELLE
BLACK MAGIC 2
BLOOD DELIRIUM
BLOODY HANDS OF THE LAW
CAT IN THE BRAIN
THE CHILDREN
DAY OF THE DEAD (REMAKE)
THE DEAD NEXT DOOR
DEADLY PREY
DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE
DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE
DOOMSDAY: THE DEATH OF SUPERMAN
DOOMSDAY
DOOR INTO SILENCE
EMANUELLE & THE LAST CANNIBALS
EMANUELLE & THE WHITE SLAVE TRADE
EVIL FACE
FACELESS
FAST & FURIOUS
FIRED UP!
FIVE FOR HELL
GREY GARDENS
HALLOWEEN (UNRATED REMAKE)
THE HAND THAT FEEDS THE DEAD
THE HANGING WOMAN
THE HANGOVER
HARD ROCK ZOMBIES
HATCHET
I LOVE YOU, MAN
ISLAND OF THE FISHMEN
JULIE & JULIA
JUNGLE HEAT
LAID TO REST
MONSTER HUNTER
MURDER ROCK
MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D
MY NAME IS BRUCE
THE NEXT VICTIM
NIGHTMARE CASTLE
THE OBLONG BOX
OUT FOR A KILL
PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
PLAGUE TOWN
PUNISHER: WAR ZONE
RAMBO
RATMAN
RAW FORCE
ROLE MODELS
THE SINFUL DWARF
SLUGS
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
SPLINTER
STAR TREK
STEP BROTHERS
THE STEPFORD CHILDREN
SUPERMAN/BATMAN: PUBLIC ENEMIES
TAKEN
TALES OF THE BLACK FREIGHTER
TARANTULAS: THE DEADLY CARGO
TRAUMA
TROPIC THUNDER
TRICK 'R TREAT
THE U (30 FOR 30 Documentary)
VIGILANTE FORCE
VISITING HOURS
WATCHMEN
WEB OF THE SPIDER
WINTERBEAST
ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING

REPEAT VIEWINGS
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THE BEYOND
BLOOD SURF
CITY OF THE WALKING DEAD
CONQUEST
THE CONVENT
CRANK
CREEPSHOW
CURSE OF THE DEVIL
FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH
THE FLY (REMAKE)
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART 5
FRIDAY THE 13TH: PART IV
GODZILLA ON MONSTER ISLAND
GRADUATION DAY
HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD
LADY TERMINATOR
MANHATTAN BABY
MOTHER'S DAY
THE MUTILATOR
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (REMAKE)
ON DEADLY GROUND
THE PARTY ANIMAL
PIECES
PIRANHA
THE PSYCHIC
PSYCHO KICKBOXER
RE-ANIMATOR
SCREWBALLS
SUPER INFRA-MAN
THE VINDICATOR