"Filth is My Politics! Filth is My Life!" Or, A Wrap-Up of exFest 2017

John Waters introduces 1972's PINK FLAMINGOS at exFest.

So, I can check "seeing PINK FLAMINGOS on the big screen with an introduction by John Waters" off my cinematic bucket list.

Spent Saturday up in Philadelphia hanging out with pals and catching the annual Exhumed Films exFest, a 12-hour celebration of all things exploitation.

While I still refer to their 24 Hour Horrorthon each October as "my Christmas", exFest is always a highlight of the spring thanks to its complete anything goes grab bag of chop sockey, spaghetti western, bikers, sexploitation and whatever else they foist upon attendees.

After a quick trip to the city from Maryland we gathered provisions and settled into the steamy theater (temperatures were pushing 90 outside making for a sweltering viewing experience) for seven slices of sinema:

• DYNASTY (period martial arts mayhem with lots of gratuitous 3D action);
• DEATH RIDES A HORSE (quality revenge-driven Spaghetti western with Van Cleef and John Philip Law);
• NEW BARBARIANS (aka Enzo Castellari's WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND with Fred Williamson and "Timothy Brent" as they take on a band of gay post-apoc marauders led by George Eastman);
• COMBAT COPS (aka ZEBRA KILLER which was like an odd DIRTY HARRY rip-off via blaxploitation with Austin Stoker from ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 as a no fucks given detective on the trail of a deranged killer);
• Gregory Dark's STREET ASYLUM (a disappointing late 80s blend of action and sci-fi with Wings Hauser, G Gordon Liddy, Alex Cord and Sy Richardson that should have been MUCH better);
• 1972's LOVE ME DEADLY (slow moving but sorta intriguing movie about necrophilia from 1972 starring Mary Wilcox and Lyle Waggoner!); 
• and, finally, PINK FLAMINGOS with a surprise live intro from director John Waters. 

Alas, the whole experience was a tad bittersweet as it was the first Exhumed event after the tragic, way-too-soon loss of our friend James "Doc Terror" Harris. Seeing James' smiling face in line always brightened my mood at these events and we'd catch up as we browsed the offerings from Diabolik or poured over the mysterious lineup (Exhumed doesn't share the titles for the exFest or Horrothon in advance). Between flicks we'd share quick opinions on what we just saw (often accompanied by friendly debate) and guesses about what we'd see next. I'd like to think that just some of Doc's enthusiasm and love for sinema rubbed off on me over the years and made me a more forgiving cinephile and a better person.

RIP, Doc and oh, yeah, Fuck Cancer.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: The Zombinator (2012)

"You're in Youngstown... no one cares."

After 30 years of watching and writing about trashy horror movies and violent action flicks I've adopted some definite maxims. One is that if you can't tell me your story in 90 minutes or less I probably don't want to hear your story. Another is that every movie would probably be improved by sticking some zombies or zombie-like creatures in it.

For example, I love NIGHT OF THE CREEPS but without the slug-infested frat boys it's just another teen sex comedy with a depressing sub-plot about some local cop who killed himself. DEMONS? Take out the titular creatures and it's an Italian arthouse flick. RE-ANIMATOR without Dr. Hill and his sexually aggressive head is just one in a long line of med school dramas. No thanks!

Luckily, the producers of THE ZOMBINATOR realized that the world did not need yet another documentary about the Youngstown, Ohio fashion scene and decided to amp up the proceedings with an improvised docudrama-cum-horror flick featuring a Schwarzenegger impersonator who looks like Steven Seagal and NFL coach Gary Kubiak had a big trenchcoat-wearing baby.

Sure, that'll work.

Set in the aforementioned and horrific-looking Youngstown – in the news recently for this hysterical story – THE ZOMBINATOR begins as an excruciating faux fashion doc filled with local fashionistas blabbing about stuff. And fashion. At a wake for Bobby, a local serviceman who lost his life in Afghanistan, they stand around, talk about projects and going to "the city" (Cincinnati? Pittsburgh? Dayton?!). Also in attendance is The Colonel (co-producer Patrick Kilpatrick), a no nonsense military type who brought Bobby's ashes back from the Middle East and remarks – with a straight face and not a hint of sarcasm – how these numbskulls are the greatest generation.

When a set by Youngstown's finest zombie metal band is interrupted by a little undead girl, THE ZOMBINATOR finally begins morphing into the zombie outbreak thriller we were all hoping for, though director Sergio Myers punishes us by maintaining the reality show/documentary conceit until somebody finally blurts what we're all thinking – "why are you guys still filming this?!".

Oddly fascinating and surprisingly entertaining in a "how did this get made?" way, THE ZOMBINATOR eventually takes over its host and turns into a full-blown rip-off of a low grade, straight-to-video Seagal flick, complete with government conspiracies and a mano-a-mano showdown between The Colonel and The Zombinator (Joseph Aviel).

Filled with eye-rolling improv, metalhead ghostbusters, smoking priests and thick legged fashion gals in short skirts, THE ZOMBINATOR clocks in at a relatively painless 81 minutes. I guarantee your mileage will vary with this one. – Dan Taylor

THE ZOMBINATOR is available from Amazon and as of 10/9/15 is currently streaming free as part of Amazon Prime.

Dan Taylor is the editor and publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and makes no apologies for liking THE ZOMBINATOR at the same time he hates RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. For more head scratching sinematic admissions visit our website, follow ER on Facebook and like us on Twitter.

31 Days of Fright: Slashers, Sleaze and Losing My Milligan Virginity, or, An Exhumed Horrorthon VIII Recap

For the last eight years, the holidays have arrived early here at ER HQ. And no, I don't mean Christmas or Thanksgiving – though I do love the opportunities they present to eat, drink and gather with family and friends (and maybe even offer up some Holiday Horrors).

No, I'm talking about Halloween, or, more precisely, the annual Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horrorthon. Launched back in 2007 to celebrate the DelVal film group's 10th anniversary, they have treated (and occasionally tricked) us with eight 'round-the-clock cinefests designed to delight, shock, scare and enthrall us... and 2014's edition was no exception. (For more on Exhumed VIII including some live sound check out Cinesludge episode 3.)

After spending Friday evening handing out hundreds of pieces of candy – and winning the pumpkin carving contest – at my daughter's grade school Boo Bash (think Trunk or Treat held inside), I downed a few beers and hit the hay to embrace the last sleep I'd get until late Sunday afternoon. With Horrorthon partner-in-crime Bruce Holecheck (of Cinema Arcana) along for the ride we made our way to Philly, ditched the car in the over-priced hotel garage, though secure in the knowledge it would be there for a quick, painless departure the next day.

Our approach to the show has changed over the years. The first year was truly uncharted territory and friends called us "crazy" for going. Until we reported back how fun the event was and, oh yeah, that we saw PIECES, BURIAL GROUND, DEMONS and PHANTASM – just to name a few – on the big screen. I remember drinking gargantuan amounts of coffee and Mt. Dew that first year and stashing a small pizza under my seat for late nite noshing.

These days my "go bag" is packed with bottles of water, Cliff Bars and 100 calorie packets of roasted almonds for when hunger hits at an inopportune time. Even my beloved Wawa Italian hoagie has been replaced with a chicken salad sandwich on rye with bacon and I drink more water than coffee. But it certainly paid off this year as the urge to doze was far less frequent and I only snuck out for fresh air and caffeine twice, but more on that later.

The pre-show line is always fun as you end up chatting with the folks around you about the event's secret lineup – films are not announced in advance and a program (and ballot) with vague clues is your only insight into what's in store. After seven years of pathetic shots in the dark I've given up on making guesses and handed my ballot over to Bruce. I've seen a lot (A LOT) of movies in my day, but I don't possess an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure gore and insane slashers... plus, I tend to convince myself that every clue is really going to finally for reals mean a showing of a beloved flick like LIFEFORCE, BLOODSUCKING FREAKS or NIGHT OF THE CREEPS.

Quick "hellos" to pals like Doc Terror and Chuck Francisco complete, we're in our seats for announcements (Most Important: No talking! This isn't your living room and, despite what you may think, you're not a writer for MST3K.) and door prizes, anxiously awaiting the first of – gulp – 15 flicks over the next 24 hours and change.

1. THE KEEP (1983)
Previous fests have typically launched with more of a straight horror flick, so this atmospheric slice of WWII horror/sci-fi from writer/director Michael Mann was a bit of a departure. I hadn't seen THE KEEP since the days when it played PRISM (Philly's local movie/sports pay cable channel) but I remembered it had a rocky road to the big screen and online reports suggest that about half its original running time was chopped for theatrical release. While the studio interference certainly shows, the cast is great, the Tangerine Dream score is haunting and brought to mind Mann's MANHUNTER, and it features a somewhat good guy-esque role for the usually villainous Jurgen Prochnow. Available on what looks like a grey market DVD.

2. BLACK MAGIC (1975)
Martial arts star Ti Lung headlines this 1975 Shaw Brothers classic complete with battling magicians, countless potions, erect talisman, a supporting German Shepherd and rice-encased privates. A rich schemer sets her eyes on a young, engaged engineer and hires a sinister magician to cast a love spell. Followed a year later by the even crazier sequel, BLACK MAGIC 2 (aka REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES). Available on DVD.

3. GODZILLA'S REVENGE (1969)
I vaguely recall having seen this kiddie-oriented Godzilla flick when it aired on UHF back in the 1970s, but doubt I've seen it since. A latchkey kid daydreams of trips to Monster Island, where Godzilla lives with his son Minira and a bevy of other kaiju critters. The kids and a subplot about some bank robbers are a little annoying but even recycled Godzilla flick footage is a treat on the big screen. The flick's moral seems to be that the path to happiness is fighting and pulling pranks, and that just seems odd. Available on DVD.

4. LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3 (1990)
I've never been a fan of Tobe Hooper's over-the-top, Cannon-financed sequel, much preferring Jeff Burr's take on the family of cannibal killers roaming the dark back roads of the Lone Star State. Featuring Viggo Mortensen, Ken Foree and Kate Hodge in her first starring role, LEATHERFACE is a perfect example of late 80s/early 90s horror cinema, complete with dated styles, quippy dialogue, a hard rock soundtrack (Laaz Rocket!) and – unfortunately – harsh MPAA cuts to achieve an R rating. Still, even when neutered this is a fast-paced and occasionally harrowing minor classic. Available on DVD with R-rated and Unrated versions.

5. BLUE MONKEY (1987)
Each Exhumed Horrorthon contains at least a couple flicks I simply never, ever expected to see on the big screen. This year featured several of those "Whoa!" moments, the first of which was William Fruet's 1987 paean to the big bug monster flicks of the Atomic Era (reviewed on our website many years ago). An innocent finger prick ends up producing a monstrous bug – thanks to a growth agent added by some too cute kids – and it's up to off-duty cop Jim Bishop (Steve Railsback) to save the day with the help of an ER doc and her entomologist pal. Shifting effortlessly between comedy, action and goo-drenched horror, BLUE MONKEY also features SCTV regulars Joe Flaherty and Robin Duke as comic relief and a pre-teen Sarah Polley (DAWN OF THE DEAD remake) as one of the kids. Available on VHS only.

6. PET SEMATARY (1989)
The Stephen King novel that inspired this stiff, stagey flick may have been the last book I read from the prolific author – and I recall not being able to put it down. Maybe that's why I've never warmed up to this adaptation and always preferred the way over-the-top sequel featuring Clancy Brown as the world's craziest living dead sheriff. At least that flick knows what it is and embraces it... PET SEMATARY wants to be taken seriously (Dale Midkiff is ponderous as the lead) while its attempts at horror produce more titters than terror. Sometimes, Wawa is better and once I was sure we were getting this overrated entry I made my way down the street for coffee and fresh air, knowing I'd get back in time for the meat of the flick and that killer title tune from the Ramones that plays over the end credits. "I don't wanna be buried... in a pet cemetery..." Available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

7. THE GATE 2 (1990)
The festival's 80s block comes to a conclusion with Tibor Takacs' follow-up to his 1987 metal-and-monsters original (which opened the 2012 Horrorthon). Louis Tripp returns as Terry, the metal-loving teen intent on giving another go at conjuring the demons that emerged from the titular gate in his friend's backyard years earlier. When he's joined by a trio of delinquents, they find themselves able to grant wishes... until it all turns (literally) to shit. Co-star/love interest Pamela Adlon (billed here as Pamela Seagall) went on to a prolific career as a voiceover actor, even winning an Emmy for her work as Bobby Hill on the beloved KING OF THE HILL. "All sloppy... and no joe." Available on VHS only.

8. LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET (1977)
With the Horrothon nearing its halfway point, the tone shifted dramatically from the more innocent late 80s/early 90s to the dank, dark and dangerous 1970s thanks to the very "WTF?!" LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET, an orgy of sleaze and violence that makes Wes Craven's LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT look like a Disney flick. Directing as Victor Janos and starring under the name Steven Harrison, gutter auteur Roger Watkins packs this surreal head-scratcher with images of sex and pseudo-snuff that put it miles ahead of similarly "controversial" flicks like SNUFF. I'd be hard pressed to synopsize LAST HOUSE but suffice it to say that it kept the audience in stunned silence for its mercifully short running time (and I mean that in the best way possible). Available on DVD.

9. GURU THE MAD MONK (1970)
To be frank, I'm not sure exactly what could provide an adequate palette-cleanser after the sensory onslaught of DEAD END STREET, but this Andy Millgan "period piece" was probably as good a choice as any. Surprisingly, despite wallowing in the cinemuck for 40 years (?!) I have never had the "pleasure" of watching an Andy Milligan film. Oh sure, I've read about his work in everything from FILM THREAT to SLEAZOID EXPRESS, but I never pulled the trigger on one of his polarizing, anachronistic epics. As Bruce put it while the credits rolled, "it's like a filmed stage play put on by insane people". I'm not sure I can do GURU more justice than that – and I'm not sure I'll be seeking out more Milligan in the future – but I'm glad I can finally say that I'm no longer a Milligan virgin. Available on DVD.

10. BOG (1983)
Looking every bit like it was filmed in the 1970s – because it was! – BOG has the dubious distinction of being the one flick that desperately wanted to seduce me into a late night snooze. I wasn't sure if it was the timeslot or the movie itself (Bruce insisted on the latter), but BOG's long takes, geriatric love story and deliberate pacing kept wanting me to accept sleep's sweet embrace. "Be gone, harlot!," my brain screamed as I fought to stay awake and cross the threshold from that dangerous 2 AM to 5 AM slot into the sinematic homestretch. And once BOG's creature was defeated – or was it? – I got a second (or, perhaps, third) wind. Available on DVD.

11. MOTHER'S DAY (1980)
People have asked me if the Exhumed Horrorthon features breaks to grab dinner, use the bathroom or simply stretch your legs from the International House's not quite comfortable seating. And while the answer used to be a qualified "yes", recent years have seen the show feature little more than five to ten minutes of trailers jammed between flicks. In other words, just enough time to use the john, grab a smoke or hike down to the nearby Wawa for a sandwich and coffee. Naturally, it's wise to wait and see what film begins next, so when the trailer reel after BOG suggested that the "satirical" horror on tap was from the folks at Troma, I waited with bated breath. Was this the year that my beloved BLOODSUCKING FREAKS would finally appear on that big ol' screen? Or, was it going to be a more likely candidate such as the mean-spirited, though at times intentionally funny, MOTHER'S DAY. Unfortunately, it ended up being the latter so I waited through the opening 20 minutes or so and ducked out for some invigorating 5 AM in Philly air, returning in just enough time to see the trio of gals from the "Rat Pack" take their revenge on mama and her boys. Available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

12. HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT 2 (1987)
The homestretch of any Exhumed Horrorthon is always dicey. At that point you've fought off sleep, rounded the corner towards home, gotten your xth wind and can kinda see that finish line. But will you sprint across, propelled by the power of LADY TERMINATOR, THE CHILDREN, PIRANHA and RE-ANIMATOR (a la 2009) or be dragged kicking and screaming like 2011's quartet of BLOOD DINER, THE BURNING, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE and MEET THE FEEBLES? (Full disclosure, that was the only year I actually left the event before the last film was over, embracing a hazy ride home over Peter Jackson's ho-hum puppet flick.) This year's closing quartet definitely delivered the goods, kicked off by this supernatural – and in my opinion – superior sequel to the more ballyhooed original (recently reviewed by Chuck Francisco). Barbecued prom queen Mary Lou Maloney possesses the body of good girl Vicki Carpenter (who may be afraid of what's happening to her but isn't afraid of some full frontal nudity) and even sets her sights on former beau Billy Nordham (Michael Ironside), now the school's principal and the father of Vicki's boyfriend. This flick is absolutely 80s and absolutely one of my underrated faves, though I can't believe there are two more PROM NIGHT flicks! Available on DVD.

13. NIGHTMARE AT SHADOW WOODS (1987)
Probably better known under the title BLOOD RAGE (which apparently sports a different cut of the film), SHADOW WOODS is a rare Holiday Horror set on Thanksgiving. Set off by seeing his mother (Louise Lasser) hook up at the drive-in, a young boy murders another patron with an axe and promptly blames his twin brother, who gets locked away for the crime. Fast forward to Thanksgiving night when the locked up (but innocent) brother escapes from the mental facility and mom announces her engagement to Brad the apartment complex manager. Evil twin Terry – now a college student – is set off by the announcement and begins butchering his way through friends, family and hospital staff sent to retrieve his brother. Never quite by the numbers, SHADOW WOODS benefits from performances by the quirky Lasser and Mark Soper (as both of the a bit bonkers brothers), plentiful gore, some nudity, early 80s fashion crimes (it was filmed in 1983 but not released until 1987) and a script that isn't afraid to repeatedly use a blood/cranberry sauce gag. I'd love to see this obscure gem get a nice release. Available on VHS.

14. KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS (1977)
I still remember my skin crawling when I watched this NIGHT GALLERY-worthy tale of aggressive spiders attacking a remote Arizona town when it hit UHF back in the late 1970s. And unlike some horrors of the period, KINGDOM holds up extremely well, benefitted greatly by a top-notch B-cast headlined by William Shatner, Woody Strode and David McLean. Shatner – as veterinarian Rack Hansen – never overdoes it as the horseback riding hero and the whole cast plays the grim tale straight. The final shot is haunting and reminds you of a time when ending horror flicks on a down note was a-ok. Available on DVD.

15. NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)
"Thrill me." I've been waiting almost 30 years to see Det. Cameron (Tom Atkins in a movie-stealing performance) utter those words on the big screen and the wait was totally worth it. Part of a personal 80s Trinity that also includes RE-ANIMATOR and DEMONS, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS remains one of my favorite horror films ever made and – for me, at least – one of the few horror-comedies that deftly juggles exploding heads and one-liners with equal aplomb. I rated it five stars upon seeing the VHS back in the 80s and it ranks that high to this day. And, thanks to the guys at Exhumed Films, I can cross another masterpiece off my Theatrical Bucket List. Available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

So there you have it – a quickie recap of a great event featuring one of the most solid Horrorthon lineups to date. Kudos to the entire Exhumed Films crew who bring together a great annual event that comes off almost seamlessly, though I know that there are probably plenty of hiccups along the way.

I just have one request for next year or the next or even the next. BLOOD! SUCKING! FREAKS! In the meantime I suppose I can settle for the new Blu-Ray...!

HOLIDAY HORRORS: The Turds in the Punchbowl

Ahhh yes, the day after Christmas. The presents are unwrapped, the delicious stuffed filet of beef has been consumed (except for that piece worth fighting over at lunch) and it's time to figure out what you're keeping, what's being sold on eBay and what you're just flat out returning for store credit. In other words it's time for the sorting of the crap.

Anytime you undertake an, er, undertaking like watching a dozen holiday horror flicks in a couple weeks there's bound to be a couple turds in the punchbowl.

Today's the day for a couple of those turds... sorry folks.

First up is SANTA CLAUS (1959), a hallucinogenic nightmare of a "children's" film courtesy of Rene Cardona and K. Gordon Murray.

I can't imagine being a kid and getting dropped into some kind of freaking nightmare where Santa lives on a cloud in space and Satan sends his chief demon – a hyperactive freak named Pitch – to make all the kids on Earth do evil. Or he'll be forced to eat chocolate ice cream.

Which we all know is bad for his digestion.

On Christmas Eve, Santa leaves his Multi-National Intergalactic Sweatshop run by Merlin the Magician (?!) and drives his team of terrifying, teeth-chattering wind-up reindeer that turn to dust if Santa's not back to his space shack by sunrise around the globe to deliver presents to good girls and boys.

Most of the brain-bending flick revolves around a trio of kids and their quest for holiday joy: there's Lupita the poor girl who never gets anything from Santa; the rich boy whose parents ignore him until they drink the "Cocktail of Remembrance"; and, the three hooligans who plan to jump Santa, stuff him in a sack and make him their slave!

Like other South of the Border abominations such as LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE MONSTERS (1962), the concept behind SANTA CLAUS seems sorta cute and benign. Until you have to sit down and suffer through every one of its excruciating 90 minutes!

The end result is so completely tedious and moronic that it makes it perfect fodder for creating an insulting MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER episode. Approach at your own risk.

Despite suffering through THANKSKILLING 3 and the aforementioned SANTA CLAUS, I was shocked to find I wasn't anywhere near done my Holiday Horror penance. Oh no. That chore would be left to what is easily the worst, most aggravating piece of Christmasploitation pie I've ever been served – the excruciating and completely worthless CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS.

Okay, so maybe "completely worthless" is a bit harsh. But I'm not far off the mark. Maybe...

Ostensibly a jab at the whole "Killer Santa" genre, CAESAR & OTTO makes one classic miscalculation – it's sorta hard to parody a genre that has already begun to parody itself.

But that doesn't seem to bother this low-budget Abbott & Costello as Ceasar (the hyperactive and ceaselessly annoying Dave Campfield) and Otto (the kinda funny and somewhat charming Paul Chomicki) banter and argue about their lot in loserdom.

Like some of the latter day SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT sequels (see how I brought this full circle?), CAESAR & OTTO has waaaaayyyy more plot going for it than it really needs.

Sure, there's a killer Santa (the too good for this crap JACKASS grad Deron Miller aka CYK) and Caesar's holiday trauma (inspired by the original SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT complete with scene-chomping Lloyd Kaufman as Grandpa) but we're also forced to suffer through his desire to turn a quick buck by making a Christmas-themed horror movie and Otto's hunt for a long-lost love, not to mention an unwelcome Linnea Quigley cameo (shudder) and a Dr. Phil spoof that had me longing for the real deal.

The killer Santa/Christmasploitation genre may be ripe for a good tweaking. Unfortunately, this isn't it.

I'm going to spare you any links to where you can buy these flicks. If you search them out it's your own fault.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: ADAM CHAPLIN - VIOLENT AVENGER (2011)

One of the problems with publishing annually is knowing just when to put on the brakes. With each passing week and trip to the PO Box the review section for ER #52 grows and grows and grows, threatening to push the zine (and its humble editor) to its limits.

But some flicks just can't wait for the printed page. Some flicks can't be contained. Some flicks plead to be unleashed on an unsuspecting viewing public as soon as possible.

Emanuele De Santi's berserk ADAM CHAPLIN: VIOLENT AVENGER is just such a flick.

When Adam (played by writer/director De Santi) discovers that his wife has been killed by the local crime boss he sets out on a mission of revenge, hell bent on killing anyone that stands in his path.

Pretty standard stuff, right?

But what separates ADAM CHAPLIN from the endless parade of flicks with similar stories (many of which are currently housed in my Netflix queue) is that we're treated to an almost non-stop parade of insanely hyper-stylized supernatural action gore in which our frequently shirtless vigilante "hero" roams the fictitious town of Heaven Valley literally pulverizing anyone even remotely involved in his wife's demise.

Oh, did I forget to mention the demon that lives in his shoulder and encourages/guides/needles him throughout his blood-soaked 90-minute rampage? How about the crime boss who wears a mask to hide a decaying face disfigured by constant doses of a drug called Neurocil 3 being pumped through his veins? Well, there's that, too.

Like a dark, disturbing slice of manga that has somehow leapt off the page and onto your tv screen, ADAM CHAPLIN mashes together every idea ever imagined by a violence-addled adolescent and fuses it with Italian religious and familial fetishizing then blends in the kind of extreme gore I thought I'd only see from the likes of Andreas Schnaas or Olaf Ittenbach.

And it totally works.

Jaw-dropping from the get-go (two heads roll within the first 30 seconds), ADAM CHAPLIN: VIOLENT AVENGER is a flick that begs to be seen with a roomful of like-minded video mutants. Sure, you might miss the nuances of such subtitled dialogue as "only hatred can lead you in this story..." but you won't care as Chaplin stomps through the Troma-esque wasteland punching his hand through the chest of a corrupt cop or throwing some Ultimate Warrior wannabe off a roof.

I'm disappointed that De Santi – who looks like the gigantic slightly mutant offspring of Beef from PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE and Jon Mikl Thor – doesn't appear to have anything in the works after this eye-popping debut. However, I was happy to hear that Giulio De Santi – who played the crime boss's son and supervised CHAPLIN's extensive visual effects – was behind the futuristic sci-fi gorefest TAETER CITY (check out the trailer below).

One can only hope the pair continue to bring this kind of outrageous sinema to our shores for many years to come! – Dan Taylor

ADAM CHAPLIN: VIOLENT AVENGER is available from Amazon.

exFest III Wrap-Up: From Borgnine to Theodore

Somewhat up and at them after yesterday's packed exFest III from the fine folks at Exhumed Films. 8 movies, no trailers and nothing more than 5 minute breaks between flicks to gather your senses and maybe hit the potty before the next flick began. Here's the lineup...

SUNDAY IN THE COUNTRY (1974)
Ernest Borgnine is a controlling grandpa who lives on a farm with his college age granddaughter. When some bank robbers (including a cackling Michael J Pollard) come a calling he decides to teach them some lessons. Not so much a revenge flick as it is a portrait of Borgnine -- who acts his ass off -- going off his rocker all the while thinking he's striking a blow for decent folks.

RADIOACTIVE DREAMS (1985)
Albert Pyun's offbeat post-apoc rock opera stars Michael Dudikoff and John Stockwell as refugees from a nuclear shelter who dress and act like they're from the 1940s as they try and keep various factions from getting the keys to the last remaining nuclear missiles on the planet. I remember feeling kinda "meh" about this when I saw it back in the 80s but it has held up way better than I ever imagined and comes off like a demented STREETS OF FIRE.

THE WITCH WHO CAME FROM THE SEA (1976)
Totally offbeat and surprising psycho thriller about a waitress who deals with her history of sexual abuse at the hands of her alcoholic father by gruesomely killing football players and actors she picks up. A disturbing portrait of a descent into madness complete with some of the best side characters in trash cinema history. Millie Perkins' performance in the lead role rivals Susan Tyrell's captivating turn in NIGHT WARNING.

VIGILANTE (1983)
William Lustig's gritty urban actioner starring Robert Forster as a blue collar worker whose happy family is shattered when a gang kills his son and mutilates his wife. Supportive pals like Fred Williamson help him deal with his grief and anger issues (not to mention a stint in the joint for contempt) by taking revenge on the gang members. Bloody good fun with Steve James, Joe Spinell and Carol Lynley in small roles.

LIGHTNING SWORDS OF DEATH (1972)
Talky, kinda draggy third flick in the Lone Wolf and Cub series with our disgraced shogun executioner and his son wandering the landscape encountering mercenaries and yakuza. The big battle against a massive army is sort of fun but the climactic swordfight is a total letdown. Martial arts in general isn't my cup of tea so this may have been the lowlight of the event for me – which ain't bad at all.

GET DOWN AND BOOGIE (aka DARKTOWN STRUTTERS, 1975)
A Colonel Sanders doppleganger has invented a cloning machine and is kidnapping members of the black community for his own political aspirations. Which is far too normal a description for this wildly un-PC blaxploitationer featuring Roger Mosley, Otis Day, Stan Shaw, Dick Miller and many other familiar faces.

PICK-UP SUMMER (aka PINBALL SUMMER, 1980)
Nearly plotless Canadian teen sex comedy with two pals getting into hijinks during their summer vacation. The "plot" ostensibly concerns a pinball competition at the local arcade but the running time is largely an excuse for D-grade gags, a lot of shots of topless babes, curvy butts in cut-offs and bikini bottoms, and a soundtrack (which I *must* own) filled with power-pop knockoffs. In other words, I loved it.

GUMS (1976)
Limp porn parody of the blockbuster JAWS in which an orally-fixated mermaid blows her way through the dumpy schlubs of a resort town. Brother Theodore adds some madness to the proceedings in the Robert Shaw role as Carl Clitoris, a Nazi who pilots the SS Cunnilingus into the waters looking for the mermaid. Robert Kerman (EATEN ALIVE, CANNIBAL FEROX, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST) co-stars in the Richard Dreyfuss role as Sy Smegma. I'm glad I shipped off the recent DVD release to somebody else for review... I think one was definitely enough!

Overall a pretty great lineup that harkened back to the first exFest's trash potpourri, though I still think that installment may win out over this one slightly thanks to REDNECK MILLER, NO WAY OUT and THE FACE WITH TWO LEFT FEET.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: She's Popping 'Em Out Like Pez Candy!

Don't make me turn in my Horrordad Membership Card, but I wasn't aware that BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGENY even existed until I received a press release about the new Synapse DVD. I've never been what you would call a "huge" fan of the BASKET CASE series, though I have fond memories of sitting in the kitchen having breakfast while radio ads encouraged me to come see the original at the Budco Millside - though my coupon-clipping, bargain-hunting Mom was unimpressed that I could get a free surgical mask to keep the blood off my face.

But renting BASKET CASE was a right of passage back in those early days of video store memberships. Seems like every high schooler would rent the tape - along with BLOODSUCKING FREAKS, THE EVIL DEAD and THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE -and then come to school or swim team practice babbling about the craziness they'd witnessed.

And BASKET CASE was pretty crazy. Duane (Kevin Van Hentenryck) and his mutant twin Belial (surely one of horror's oddest icons) are surgically separated as teens but maintain a powerful psychic bond. The pair travel from their small-town home to NYC where they exact revenge on the doctors who separated them, with Belial emerging from his basket every now and then to kill other folks.

In an era where HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13th dominated the horror scene, a gory, sleazy, batshit crazy, shoe-string-budgeted flick like BASKET CASE was a revelation, and writer/director Frank Henenlotter's projects quickly became must-see for sleaze film fans. BASKET CASE 2 followed a few years later, with the twins reuniting with the aunt who raised them (Annie Ross) in an effort to escape their newfound - and unwanted - celebrity. I recall that flick featuring less of Henenlotter's black humor with more emphasis placed on the horror and gore; a natural, if not altogether welcome, progression.

BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGENY picks up where the second film ended with Duane and Belial still in the care of Granny Ruth, though her daughter Susan has been accidentally killed in a fall from a window. Belial's tryst with mutant Eve (Denise Coop) has resulted in a pregnancy that forces Granny (Ross again) to pack up her busload of mutants and head south so that sympathetic doc Uncle Hal (Dan Biggers) can perform the delivery. A run-in with the local sheriff (Gil Roper), his sexy daughter Opal (Tina Louise Hilbert) and some dimwitted, money-hungry deputies results in bloody mayhem as Belial attacks the police station to rescue his babies and faces off against the sheriff mano-a-mutant.

If anything, BASKET CASE 3 takes the craziness of the first two installments and amps it up, creating an offbeat alternate reality filled with mutants of all shapes and sizes and the "normals" who love or fear them (or, in Duane's case, a bit of both). Van Hentenryck pulls off a particularly fun performance, delivering many of the film's funniest lines during rambling, schizophrenic asides. The best scene, though, belongs to Little Hal (Jim O'Doherty), a giant, multi-limbed mutant genius who emits hysterical rapid-fire running commentary during Eve's gooey, bloody birth scene.

While watching the flick I couldn't help but think of THE TOXIC AVENGER, CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH and STREET TRASH, all of which were surely influenced by Henenlotter's particular brand of black-comedy-meets-horror-sleaze. Though BASKET CASE 3 isn't among my favorite Henenlotter efforts, its 90-minute running time delivers plenty of cheap laughs, slimy pre-CGI gore and the most mutants this side of NIGHTBREED.

BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGENY will be released on video October 9. You can pre-order the title at Amazon.

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REVIEW: CLOWN HUNT (2012)

When the DVD for CLOWN HUNT arrived at ER HQ I knew there was only one man up to the task of reviewing it – our resident beer snob, futbal freak and Most Dangerous Game expert Bryan Senn. When he's not chuckling at my taste in lowbrow swill or imploring me to give soccer another try, Senn authors articles for genre cinema mags (including a Barbara Steel feature in the upcoming ER #51), and such books as Sixties Shockers: A Critical Filmography of Horror Cinema, 1960-1969 (McFarland, 2011; co-written with Mark Clark); A Year of Fear: A Day-by-Day Guide to 366 Horror Films (McFarland, 2007); and Golden Horrors: An Illustrated Critical Filmography of Terror Cinema, 1931-1939 (McFarland, 1996), among others. He lives in Washington State with his wife and son, several cats, and a boa constrictor named Fang.

Yes, this is exactly what it sounds like-a satirical jab at the Most Dangerous Game theme (people hunting people for sport, first suggested by Richard Connell's famous 1924 short story "The Most Dangerous Game") with circus clowns taking the brunt of the sardonic roundhouses (though the hunters themselves receive their fair share of derisive body blows).  Shot in Texas in 2010 and released directly to video in 2012, the obviously low-budget CLOWN HUNT posits that clowns have become big game for Texas rednecks, who buy hunting licenses and join (semi)organized hunts to bag their limit of clowns out on the open range.  In this particular chuckle-filled universe, clowns apparently live together in herds out in the wilds, performing random clown tricks as well as partaking in such odd activities as bouncing kittens off trampolines(!) and smashing baby chicks with their oversized shoes(!!).  A group of rednecks run the gauntlet of "Save-the-Clown" protestors (whose activities are appropriately chronicled by KLWN-TV) to descend on local landowner B.J.'s (David Keith, the only "name" actor in the film-obviously there for one day and a quick paycheck) "Chuckle Ranch" and set up camp for the start of Clown season.  "First week of the season is Happy clowns only," one hunter reminds the group.  "Sad clown season doesn't start 'till the second week."  As the band of hunters prepare for opening day, they drink, mud-wrassle (an hilarious homoerotic homage), and scout the local clown fauna.  They also recall the legend of "Albino Willy," a famous clown who's "been seen all over the world, but nobody's been able to cap his ass."  As the hunt begins, Albino Willy shows up and leads an impromptu clown revolt, so that the hunters soon become the prey.

CLOWN HUNT offers more gags and pratfalls than story and characters, the latter of which are pretty much ciphers, though one hunter (played by the film's writer/director/co-producer) appears more sensitive than the others (even offering the politically-correct observation that "they really don't like to be referred to as 'clowns' anymore; they would prefer to be called 'laugh-makers'").  In a clever riff on the notion of intolerance, he turns out to be a closeted clown himself (he retires to his tent each night to don clown makeup).  When he finally "comes out" as a clown, the nonplussed expressions on the faces of his heretofore unsuspecting backwoods buddies speak volumes.

It being basically a one-joke movie, CLOWN HUNT's entertainment value comes from the variations that branch off from said joke.  Some are clever ("I was readin' Big Shoes Big Guns the other day..."; or the clowns dying in character, complete with comical feet in the air for their death throes), some are tasteless (such as Albino Willy placing a shovel under a hunter who's defecating into a hole, resulting in the drunken man's confusion when he finishes and finds nothing there), and some are tastelessly funny (when one clown becomes so frightened by the sound of a gun going off, he drops a load of jelly bean scat before running away).  How much a viewer will enjoy this film stems from how one reacts to the various gags that come fast and furious throughout the 70-minute running time.

Writer-director Barry Tubb foregoes any exploration into what kind of a society evolved (or de-volved) into hunting clowns, nor are there any explanations as to why clowns seem to behave like herd animals (given that they are indeed just people in make-up and oversized shoes, as demonstrated by the closeted clown hunter in the group).  Consequently, Tubb sacrifices myriad opportunities for social or political satire, focusing instead on a stream of sight (and sound) gags (yes, there are fart jokes) that tend to become both puerile and repetitious over time.  And Tubb obviously had difficulty coming up with a suitable ending for his Bozo opus.  The climax begins well enough via an amusing, small-scale Road Warrior homage (as the few remaining hunters, driving an odd assortment of vehicles, try to run Albino Willy, riding an ATV decked out with a giant clown head[!], to ground), but deteriorates into the firing of a giant rocket-missile (complete with clown nose) and a nonsensical final shot of Willy's white wig floating in New York Harbor(?!).  CLOWN HUNT might have done better as a concise comic short or even a faux trailer.  As is, it comes dangerously close to wearing out its big-nosed welcome.

Director-producer-screenwriter-actor Barry Tubb forged a career appearing in supporting roles on television in the 1980s in such series as Hill Street Blues and the Lonesome Dove telefilms, and movies such as MASK (1985) and TOP GUN (1986).  Becoming disenchanted with Tinseltown, however, he worked on Broadway and then moved to France in the '90s, appearing there in a Wild West show (born and raised in Texas, Tubb was a champion bull rider at age 15).  He eventually turned to the production side of filmmaking near the end of the decade, helping BLOOD TRAIL (1997) and GRAND CHAMPION (2002) before tackling the trials and tribulations of red noses and oversized shoes with CLOWN HUNT   Said Tubb, "I wanted to make my own movies because Hollywood just wasn't cutting it for me.  The movies I was reading weren't as good as the stories I knew growing up."

While a tale of "clown hunting" may not qualify as a "good" story (and certainly wasn't something Tubb "knew growing up"), it at least makes for an intermittently amusing one that comes off as a unique pie in the face to Connell's concept. – Bryan Senn

CLOWN HUNT is available from Amazon.

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Spring 2011 Update Posted!

Nothing like having what was intended as the January 2011 update somehow morph into the Spring 2011 update, but hey, it happens.

We just posted 25 new reviews including: not one, not two, but three from the mighty pen (keyboard?) of David Zuzelo; Doug Waltz on sexploitation double features and bad WIP parodies; a dash of Franco; a splash of Naschy (splaschy?); made-for-tv sci-fi; shot-on-video mayhem; some Tinto Brass; and more, plus initial details on our return to print and an interview with Wildside Cinema's Brian Harris.

Check it out!

CHUPACABRA TERROR (2004)

I should know better. I was so excited by the low-budget, science-gone-awry fun of MANSQUITO/MOSQUITO MAN that I forgot my Crap Detector the next time I went to the video store. Which is how I ended up with the awful CHUPACABRA TERROR, the kind of film that gives the phrase "straight to video" a bad name.

Oh sure, it starts off well enough, whipping through the simplistic set-up in about 15 breezy minutes: A scientist (an almost unrecognizable Giancarlo Esposito) nets a mythical chupacabra (sort of like a Latino Bigfoot, only meaner) while on a hunt in South America. Surprisingly, it seems the best way to transport the creature is on the luxury liner captained by a slumming, ageless John Rhys-Davies (didn't he make ANY money appearing in a five of the biggest-grossing films of all-time?) who has put in a call to a military pal (Dylan Neal) in order to snare an on-board thief.

Within minutes of setting sail, the chupacabra is loose and no passenger – thankfully – is safe, including a creepy gigolo, the old lady with the dog (no points if you see this coming), and Rhys-Davies' daughter, who appears to be a teenager, yet is the ship's kickboxing instructor and flirts with both Esposito and Neal. Um, okay.

Unfortunately, once those 15 minutes are up the remainder of CHUPACABRA TERROR (yes, I just like typing the word "Chupacabra") is pure, slow-moving torture. A low budget is one thing, but a script that has Espositio say "I've trapped it before, I can trap it again" THREE TIMES just isn't trying hard enough.

While there's a bit of gore, lots of spraying blood, and the occasional chunk of mystery meat falling from the chupacabra's mouth, it's not enough to endorse this rubbish. And how come the monster, which hustles about with cool sped-up motion early in the flick, conveniently moves at a laborious pace whenever the plot demands?

Buy CHUPACABRA TERROR at Amazon. You can read this and hundreds more reviews like it at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

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31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: House of Shock Spooky Tunes Comp

If you're like me your iPod is probably filled with spooky tunes year 'round, not just when it's socially acceptable to listen to stuff like horror film soundtracks and kitschy novelty tunes like "Dinner with Drac".

The biggest problem I have with Halloween music, though, is the availability. Tons of Christmas compilations seem to hit the shelves and download sites each year – even from bands like Los Straightjackets – while us horrorphiles have to dig through used vinyl bins in the hopes of finding a track here and there.

Luckily, there's stuff like HOUSE OF SHOCK. Not to be confused with the New Orleans haunted house or the side project from Go-Go's drummer Gina Shock, this free compilation features 24 haunted tracks that run the gamut from jazz and cha-cha to surf-inspired instrumentals and garage rock from the awesomely-named Little Tibia and the Fibulas.

The comp even tosses in some vintage radio spots like a bored-sounding Colonel Sanders imploring you to give away Kentucky Fried Chicken to trick or treaters!

This ghoulishly great collection is free but only available till Halloween, so get your copy now!

Zombie Tipping Point?

We've already had a couple zombie horror-comedies, AMC is rolling out a zombie drama aimed at mainstream America and NBC announced the pickup of a horrific-sounding "zomedy" about zombie and vampire buddy cops. But this Ford commercial might be the official zombie tipping point.

Bangalese HULK Trailer

I know a lot of people are excited for the SHARKTOPUS flick but a Bangalese Hulk flick with a rickshaw that transforms into a machine gun-sporting super-weapon? I'm there.

New ER Page Launched at Facebook

I suppose it was inevitable.

Print zine.

Website.

Blog.

Twitter.

And now we have an ER Facebook page.

Come on by and join the fun!

Huge Pre-Holiday Review Update at ER Website!

The holidays are here and all the good cheer in the air has put us in the giving mood at ER HQ. So, in the spirit of the season swing on over to the Exploitation Retrospect website and check out a baker's dozen of new reviews for...

• SCREWBALLS
• CHRONICLES OF THE INQUISITION
• DANGEROUS WORRY DOLLS
• DOLLMAN/DEMONIC TOYS BOX SET
• DREAMS OF SALOME
• FEMALIEN 2: THE SEARCH FOR KARA
• FORBIDDEN ZONE: ALIEN ABDUCTION
• SKIN IN THE 70S BOX SET
• SKULL HEADS
• TIMEGATE: TALES OF THE SADDLE TRAMPS
• VIRTUAL ENCOUNTERS
• VIVA
• WOMEN IN PRISON TRIPLE FEATURE

Don't say we never gave you anything...

HATCHET Director's Mock Commercial

For whatever reason it took me a few years to get around to watching Adam Green's HATCHET, despite a rave review on the ER site from good buddy and recent traveling companion Louis Fowler.

To be honest, I probably avoided it because I'm usually averse to phrases like "old school slasher flick" because that kind of talk makes me think about those wretched SCREAM movies and not, you know, real slasher movies. Coupled with reviews that seemed all over the place and slavish endorsements from the likes of Ain't It Cool News I wasn't sure if I'd love or hate this latest attempt to add a new horror villain to the slasher pantheon.

I finally got around to watching HATCHET a couple weekends ago as the capper to my epic Day of Trash and I could not have misjudged the flick more. Intentionally funny and exceedingly well cast, the flick also piles on the gore and boobs so you're never bored. Plus, my favorite lab assistant from BONES (Joel Moore as the dark and comically death-obsessed Mr. Fisher) turns up as the flick's male lead, a comic and pop culture geek who heads off on an ill-fated swamp tour.

Despite an unsatisfying ending, I'd highly recommend HATCHET to anybody out there looking for a fun, admittedly "old school" horror flick with plenty of nudity and gore. I enjoyed it so much that I recently NetFlixed SPIRAL, another collaboration between Green and Moore, this time with the actor sharing directorial chores. I haven't had a chance to watch it yet and since today is Steven Seagal's birthday BELLY OF THE BEAST takes precedence but I'll get to it soon and report back.

In the meantime, here's a mildly amusing deoderant/body spray commercial from Green that nicely combines lingerie and lightsabers...

Werewolf Women of the SS... The Comic!

According to a report over at /Film, they are planning to make a comic book series out of the exploits of the characters from the faux trailer for WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS as seen in GRINDHOUSE!

Ramones. Pixar. Huh?

Just caught a commercial for the new Pixar flick WALL-E. The music playing in the backgound is the Ramones version of "Do You Wanna Dance?". Haven't decided if this is stranger than the car commercials backed by Clash tunes or not.

Mmmm, Vigilante Candy

While on our way to see the new INDIANA JONES flick at the drive-in last night we stopped by the local Wawa for the usual: a couple Italian hoagies, some Diet Lemonade Iced Tea, chips and Gummi Bears.

As I headed over to use the no surcharge ATM (just one of the many benefits of Wawa), I noticed a display featuring Christian Bale in the famous cape and cowl of The Batman. Upon closer examination it turned out to be a candy display featuring not one but two types of DARK KNIGHT-inspired treats.

According to the package the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is in the shape of the Bat symbol while the Kit Kat has a "Special Designed Bar Inside". Haven't opened 'em yet but here's a quick scan of the package outside...

While doing your grocery shopping this weekend be sure to be on the lookout for specially marked boxes of Cheerios featuring stunt figures of your favorite psychotic, masked vigilante and homicidal maniac.

Shatner Sat Here

A week or so ago I stumbled upon a cable channel showing of STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME. Now, let me state for the record that I'm no Trek fan. Never liked the original show (or any of the more recent incarnations) and I've always thought the movies had lots of potential but never delivered, WRATH OF KHAN excepted.

That said, I have to admit I found myself oddly fascinated by the flick. I didn't see the whole thing, just an hour or so in the middle, and subsequent attempts at watching the rest of it have resulted in catching the same damn part over and over again.

Am I crazy or is THE VOYAGE HOME (in which Kirk, Spock and Co. travel back in time to the 1980s to retrieve a couple humpback whales) better than I remembered? It's entirely possible I'm confusing it with TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK which I recall being really bad.

If you're nostalgic about THE VOYAGE HOME it appears that the pickup truck driven by the flick's whale expert – and sat in by Shatner and Nimoy – is going up for sale at an auto show this weekend.