I'll admit I'm no fan of the original CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH. While not a horrible movie, it just didn't do much to grab my attention. Well then, maybe the sequel would fare better.
Sadly, it makes the first look positively glowing.
After a recap of the original, we are informed that the Tromaville Nuclear Power Plant has been rebuilt – with the Tromaville Institute of Technology housed inside! As the school experiences a meltdown and is attacked by Tromie the radioactive squirrel, we are introduced to Roger Smith (Brick Bronsky), ace reporter with the Troma Tech Times, as he stays by the side of his beloved Victoria (Leesa Rowland), who is dying. Smith tells us of the events leading up to the catastrophe. Basically, Professor Holt (Lisa Gaye) is building a race of subhumanoids for the betterment of humanity. However, the evil Dean Okra (Scott Resnick) has far more malicious plans in store for them. Will Roger be able to stop Dean Okra and save his beloved Victoria? Should you even care
You ever caught one of those movies that tries so desperately to be funny, good, entertaining? No? Well then, give CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH 2: SUBHUMANOID MELTDOWN a shot. I can guarantee your dying lawn will look far more attractive – and entertaining!
The biggest problem with this movie is exactly what Troma is known for: anarchic humor. The humor, rather ATTEMPTS at humor, is laid on so thick that it: a) drowns out what little plot there is; and, b) completely overshoots its target of Funny and lands a bullseye on Boring. There is simply way too much going on, a sensual overload that'll simply have you yawning.
Clearly, director Eric Louzil and the six – yes, SIX – screenwriters were going for quantity over quality here. The film also displays a "hip" sensibility in that it makes constant meta-references: it knows it's a movie, and it wants YOU to know that it knows it's a movie. The problem is that it is so smug in its meta-hippery that it elicits only groans and eye-rolls, and will make you wish some REAL humor would find its way into the movie.
Amongst the film's meta moments lies the film's ONE redeeming scene: Toxie wanders onto the film and begins beating some dudes up, only to be told by a man playing the director that he's on the wrong set. Is it funny? Nope. But it WILL remind you that you're watching CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH 2 as opposed to THE TOXIC AVENGER – and will hopefully inspire you to turn this dreck off and put on THE TOXIC AVENGER instead.
And I have to ask: just who in the hell thought that Brick Bronsky was leading man material? Not only does he look like a rejected fifth member of A Flock of Seagulls with that stupid haircut, but he's about as interesting to watch and listen to as a washing machine. Everything he says is delivered in the same dull monotone voice. If this is their attempt at deadpan humor, it is simply dead in the pan. Frankly, he makes Jean-Claude van Damme look like a Shakespearian actor in comparison. Van Damme is also more interesting to watch and listen to. Oh, and as an added bonus, Bronsky narrates the entire movie. Thrilling.
Overall, CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH 2: SUMHUMANOID MELTDOWN needs to be nuked right off your To Watch list. After all, why would you wanna waste a perfectly good Friday night on one of Troma's mediocre efforts? In closing, I will alter the quote from The New York Times on the cover: "As riotously boring as it is truly humorless."
CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH 2: SUBHUMANOID MELTDOWN is available on Blu-ray and DVD. Features include audio commentary, Lisa Gaye interview, trailers for RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH: VOL. 1 and 2, and "Tromarrific exclusive content!" – Evan Romero
Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about THE LAST BOY SCOUT for VHS Wednesday.