“Y’all ready for some crazy shit?”
Bringing some much-needed star power to the anthology game – I can only watch so many SOV outings starring local grocery baggers who answered a classified ad, chubby strippers with bad tattoos, and the director’s cousin – beer and lighter pitchman Snoop Dogg starts off the flick as a cartoon hood whose little sister is accidentally killed by his gun. When his mom freaks and curses him (“I hate you! You’re not my son… you’re a devil!”) Snoop does what any animated gang banger would do and makes some kind of pact with Satan that involves him being turned into a real life, pimpin’ wraparound host/cribkeeper with demon ho’s and a surly little person at his side.
‘Crossed Out’ finds a young female graffiti artist named Posie (Daniella Alonso) running afoul of some gang bangers by tagging their territory. And spray painting them in the face, which would probably piss anybody off. When she gets abducted by a derelict (Danny Trejo) she wakes up with a tight arm tattoo that ends the life of whosever name she crosses out. Bonus points for phone choking and a 40 oz. through the head (in a nice, splattery effect) plus Billy Dee Williams as grief counselor Pastor Charlie, who finds himself putting in plenty of OT thanks to Posie’s handiwork.
‘Scumlord’ definitely highlights the flick, with HELL ON WHEELS’ Anson Mount starring as Tex Jr., a Southern-fried racist even Donald Trump would think goes too far. When Tex Sr. “dies”, his offspring discovers that getting daddy’s inheritance won’t be as easy as he thought. The will states that the son and his gold digging wife (Brande Roderick) must live in the “ghetto rat trap” where Tex the Elder’s beloved soldiers – including Ernie Hudson and Richard Gant – reside. Instead of learning a lesson about loving his fellow man (what fun would that be?!), Tex Jr. puts the vets to work renovating the property, steals their money, cuts their food budget and forces their nurse into a threesome. Comeuppance, in grisly fashion, ensues.
‘Rapsody Askew’ rounds out the trio of terror tales and, unfortunately, it’s the weakest entry (and the only one not co-written by Tim Sullivan). Told in loopy, flashback/flashforward fashion, we’re shown the rise of a pair of young rappers – SOD (Pooch Hall) and Quan (Aries Spears) – who get fame too fast and end up sidetracked by things like a lack of focus. And statutory rape. An ill-advised stop at a convenience store leads to the death of one half of the pair and a haunting night at an awards show for the survivor. Look for Diamond Dallas Page as SOD’s bodyguard and Jason Alexander in a laughable, accent-challenged cameo as “British Record Mogul”.
Definitely lost amongst more ballyhooed anthology efforts, HOOD OF HORROR certainly delivers the goods thanks to its combination of splattery effects and comeuppance. And Snoop Dogg. Never forget the Snoop Dogg. – Dan Taylor
Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect. This review appeared in a slightly different form in issue #53 (still available from the publisher, email us for payment details) and Amazon.
HOOD OF HORROR is available from Amazon.
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