Exhumed Films Horrorthon XIII: The Final (?!) Cut Recap

It was a bittersweet weekend spent at the International House in Philly. Not only was this the last Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horrorthon at the venue but it was also the first event after the death of my old movie-loving pal Lou Goncey and he would have dug this year’s lineup. Here's a quick recap with capsule reviews and trailers or other videos of interest.

THE INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978) – Excellent remake of the classic 1950s tale featuring San Francisco residents being replaced by pod people that grow from alien plants. Terrific cast featuring Brooke Adams, Donald Sutherland, Leonard Nimoy, Art Hindle, Jeff Goldblum and a cameo by original BODY SNATCHERS star Kevin McCarthy. If you're a fan of these flicks – which seem more timely now than ever – don't sleep on Abel Ferrara's 1993 version but I have admittedly never seen the 2007 version with Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig (THE INVASION).


THE STEPFORD WIVES (1975) – Fun adaptation of Ira Levin’s novel is helped along by a great William Goldman script and performances by Katharine Ross and Paula Prentiss as new residents of Stepford, CT who are weirded out by the behavior of the locals. The influential flick spawned a handful of made-for-tv sequels (REVENGE OF THE STEPFORD WIVES, THE STEPFORD HUSBANDS and THE STEPFORD CHILDREN) as well as a big-budget reboot starring Nicole Kidman (again)!


CONTAMINATION (1980) – Gory Italian language print of Luigi Cozzi’s Eurotrash ALIEN rip-off with Ian MacCullouch, Louise Marleau and Marino Mase on the trail of exploding eggs from Mars. This was a favorite VHS from the days spent drinking beer and watching movies at Lou’s house but it sure looks a hell of a lot better than it ever did on those rental tapes.



GODZILLA (1977) – aka COZILLA, this oddball mishmash from director Luigi Cozzi showcases (??) a colorized, edited print of GODZILLA which the Italian director infuses with unsettling atomic bomb aftermath footage. I typically love Cozzi but this was arguably the worst Godzilla movie I've ever seen. And that's saying something.



BASKET CASE (1982) – Frank Henenlotter’s outrageous, funny, over-the-top horror masterpiece is an awesome time capsule featuring vintage Times Square footage and good old practical effects. Pretty flawless.



TWINKLE, TWINKLE KILLER KANE (1980) – aka THE NINTH CONFIGURAION, William Peter Blatty directed and adapted the screenplay from his novel. An all-star cast led by Stacy Keach and Scott Wilson star in this tale of a psychiatrist (Keach) sent to run a military mental asylum located in a remote castle. An underrated early 80s psychological thriller that never really found the audience it deserves.



RATMAN (1988) – A creepy rat/monkey man (Nelson de la Rosa) terrorizes models on a Caribbean island while a mystery writer (David Warbeck) and a senator’s daughter (Janet Agren) try to locate her missing sister. It’s gory, sleazy and stupid and I never expected to see it on the big screen but here it was.



JD’s REVENGE (1976) – Glynn Turman turns in a tour de force performance as a mild-mannered cabbie/law student who gets possessed by a dead 1940s mobster with a penchant for flashy duds, racy language and rough sex. Also starring Lou Gossett, Jr. as a hood-turned-preacher but this is all Turman's show. It's no wonder he went on to a lengthy career with recurring roles on such shows as THE WIRE and HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER, just to name two.



BODY SNATCHER FROM HELL (1968) – plane crash survivors have to deal with each other and blob-like aliens. This was definitely the most tired I was all night and the whole flick is a bit of a blur. All I remember is a bomb threat, a oddball psychiatrist and metallic goo coming out of the heads of the affected survivors. I was expecting more from this one but should probably give it another watch under better conditions.



CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS (1972) – always felt like this one was too talky and took too damn long to get going but I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for it after Lou and I watched it back in October of 1985 during my first trip to hang out with him at college (other flicks we caught that night included THEY SAVED HITLER’S BRAIN). The Gonster often quipped that filmmaking was about creating likable characters and then threatening to kill them. Alas, I wish CHILDREN SHOULDN'T... had any likable characters.



THE MANITOU (1978) – Tony Curtis steals the show as a cheesy psychic whose girlfriend starts growing a 400-year-old Native American demon – that looks like Wee-man – on her back. There are not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but SIX titles in Graham Masterson's series of 'Manitou' books yet there has never been some kind of direct-to-video sequel/reboot. I find this preposterous.



EVIL CAT (1987) – batshit crazy Hong Kong horror comedy (?) about a family who has spent their lives protecting the planet from a demonic cat who is on the last of its nine lives. This flick is hard enough to follow but it's especially hard to follow at whatever ungodly time it was. Reminded me of the late night flicks Lou and I would check out with fellow trash hounds at the old Franklin Mills movie theater.



30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007) – Hadn’t seen this since it came out but still dig this tale of survivors battling a gang of vampires that have invaded their remote town that is dealing with its annual month of darkness. I had an easier time buying a gang of roving vampires than I did the idea of Josh Hartnett as the sheriff of a hardscrabble Alaskan mining town and I need to check out the Melissa George-less direct-to-video sequel though word of mouth is not positive.



KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER (1974) – great, mid-70s tv movie that spawned a sequel, a tv series, a reboot, comics and more. (One can only hope we'll be spared the long-rumored Johnny Depp version.) Darren McGavin is crusty and lovable as the former big city reporter doing time in Las Vegas when he stumbles upon a string of murders that sound a lot like the work of a vampire. Perhaps the most shocking part of the movie is when they describe Claude Akins' character as being in his early 50s!



NIGHTBREED (1990) – recently watched this Clive Barker monster flick so we bailed in order to get home at a more reasonable time. It would have been great to see it on the big screen again but waking up at 3:30 AM on Saturday was not ideal and the trip back to Baltimore beckoned.



In all, yet another great 24 Hour Horrorthon from the guys at Exhumed Films. I've been seeing flicks at International House since I started attending Drexel University in 1984 and I'll never forget the literally hundreds of flicks I've watched unspool on its screen! – Dan Taylor

I Survived the 7th Annual Exhumed Films Horrorthon!

Just woke up after sleeping for 12 hours to recharge my batteries. Got up at 6 AM Saturday to head to Philly for the 7th Exhumed Horrorothon. Doing a blow-by-blow writeup for Weng's Chop #5 but the flicks screened (all prints mind you) included:

• DEMON KNIGHT
• MONKEY SHINES
• REVENGE OF THE LIVING ZOMBIES (aka Bill Hinzman's FLESH EATER)
• MANSION OF THE DOOMED
• INFERNO
• WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE
• TINTORERA
• the original HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW
• NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR
• THE PARASITE MURDERS (aka THEY CAME FROM WITHIN)
• GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD
• TOXIC ZOMBIES
• DARKMAN
• DEMONS 2

Thought this was a really consistent, solid lineup without any of the staggering lows of previous years (SON OF BLOB and DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN I'm looking at you) though without any super high points (I definitely loved seeing FLESH EATER, NIGHT TRAIN, TINTORERA, WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE and DEMONS 2 on the big screen).

Have to adjust my blood-to-caffeine levels and get back to work... look for more 31 DAYS later as we head towards the Halloween finish line!

April 2012 Viewing: Revenge, Trash and... Hockey?

I've been working on my April 2012 viewing recap for more than two weeks, which should tell you a couple things. One, I saw a buttload of movies last month and, two, life has been busy! As you'll see from the write-ups below the majority of the flicks I saw came thanks to two film festivals: ActionFest (which took place early in the month down in North Carolina) and the 12-hour Exhumed Films exFest 2 in Philly at the end of the month. This is probably as many flicks as I'll see in one month at any point this year and only three were rematches. Read on...

RAMPART
Not an official ActionFest selection but as has become tradition we ended up taking in a movie on Thursday night after the post-travel dinner at Tupelo Honey Café. Luckily, the Sofa Theater was deserted for this 10:10 PM showing, leaving us free to cackle at every putdown, berating and un-PC action delivered by Woody Harrelson's dirty cop character. I'm still not sure if James Ellroy intended for us to think he was the hero of the flick or not. (Theatrical)

LET THE BULLETS FLY
Entertaining but far far far too long action comedy about a criminal who assumes governorship of a small province, much to the dismay of the local crime lord (Chow Yun Fat). Jiang Wen steals the show as the bandit-turned-politico and the escalating war of wits between the two stars is fun to watch but eventually turns exhausting. (ActionFest)

GOON
Not sure how this sports flick/romantic comedy fit into the "film festival with a body count" mantra but I'm glad it did because GOON was the undisputed cinematic highlight of the weekend. Seann William Scott stars as a lovable, if dense, bouncer who attracts the eye of a minor league hockey team in need of an enforcer to protect a gifted player in danger of flaming out. The flick has all the sports-rom-com tropes but is also so fiercely profane and hilarious you'll have to see it twice to catch all the jokes you missed while you were laughing. (ActionFest)

COMIN' AT YA! 3-D
I remember when this flick premiered in the 80s and being barraged with tv ads that made it look like a goofy western spoof of sorts. While the flick is packed with gratuitous 3-D gags from start to finish, the tale is actually more of a straightforward spaghetti western than you might expect. Tony Anthony stars as a gunslinger whose fiancé was stolen from him at the altar and he spends the next 90 minutes tracking her down. In 3-D. Rejiggered with RealD 3-D technology for a flick that's fun and looks fantastic! (ActionFest)

TRANSIT
One of two flicks screened courtesy of the After Dark Action series and the only really serious dud of the festival. Jim Cavizel stars as a recently-released con/dad out with the family on a trip he hopes will make things the way they were. When a gang of incompetent, bickering thieves stash a satchel of cash on the family's SUV the stage should be set for a tense thriller pitting the two fracturing groups against one another. Unfortunately, TRANSIT sinks down into a swamp of suckdom as the action becomes repetitious and predictable while the acting becomes more atrocious and histrionic. And, no, Diora Baird does not take off her top. (ActionFest)

MANBORG
More than one festival organizer type hyped this spoof as "this year's HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN". Luckily, that wasn't the case as this spoof of Empire-esque 80s action/sci-fi is genuinely funny and has a real affinity for the source material. Unfortunately, the joke wears a little thin after awhile and it would have felt more like genuine 80s-ploitation with less green screen, but I'm curious to see what the folks at Astron-6 do with an actual budget. Plus, we got to see the amazing LAZER GHOSTS 2: RETURN TO LASER COVE short. (ActionFest)

THE RAID
A pre-dawn raid on an impregnable safe house goes horribly awry when the criminal inhabitants are turned loose on the invading cops. Guns, knives, refrigerators, fists, feet, light bulbs and more are turned into lethal weapons as a young cop fights for survival while seeking answers. I can't wait to see what's next from director Gareth Evans (and I'll be sure to avoid an upcoming Evans-free US remake that will probably both suck and blow). (ActionFest)

THE LOST BLADESMAN
One of two Donnie Yen flicks playing the fest (along with WU XIA), this retells the Romance of the Three Kingdoms tale, with Yen starring as Guan Yu, whose exploits were critical to the collapse of the Han dynasty. If that's your thing you'll probably dig this but these period swordplay epics always leave me cold and BLADESMAN is no exception. Aside from a fight in an alley I can barely remember a single highlight, though Jiang Wen again steals the show as a rival general Guan Yu isn't sure he can trust. (ActionFest)

THE AGGRESSION SCALE
A crime boss looking to beat a murder rap sends a gang of thugs out to retrieve a half-million in stolen cash. The killers – led by former TWIN PEAKS bad boy Dana Ashbrook – make their way down the list of potential thieves, finally zeroing in on a newly-relocated family complete with psychotic adolescent, grumpy jailbait step-sister and parents who may have stolen the mobster's cash. Unlike TRANSIT, AGGRESSION SCALE is at least in on the joke and has the sense to showcase the low-budget charm and high-concept plot (frequently described as "HOME ALONE with a psychotic kid"). I wish they'd taken the concept a bit further than they do but if you keep your expectations low this one is worth a watch. (ActionFest)

DRAGON EYES
MMA fighter and rising action star Cung Le teams up with director John Hyams (who did the kick-ass UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATIONS) for this low-budget, inner city neo-western. Le stars as the strong, but silent, ex-con who rides into town in a vintage car, determined to clean up the streets ruled by rival gangs and a hammy crime boss played by a scene-stealing (and chomping) Peter Weller. Jean Claude Van Damme turns up in a small role as Le's wizened prison sensei in this After Dark Action installment. (I think I would have preferred EL GRINGO with Scott Adkins or STASH HOUSE starring Dolph Lundgren, but whatever.) Entertaining but predictable, DRAGON EYES is devoid of any of the flourishes that made Hyams' UNIVERSAL SOLDIER reboot such a blast and aside from Weller it's largely unmemorable. (ActionFest)

WU XIA
More Donnie Yen! This time out we get another period piece, but it's a surprisingly entertaining martial arts/crime thriller hybrid that's desperately in need of a better title. Yen stars as a married paper maker who kills two thugs attempting to shake down an elderly shop keeper. Though the townsfolk champion their humble hero the investigating detective isn't so sure. When the detective's recreations of the crime scene reveal truths about the event (and Yen's character), he and his suspect must face truths that were probably best kept hidden. MAN FROM HONG KONG star Jimmy Wang Yu co-stars as the ruthless leader of a gang of bloodthirsty criminals. A well-done blend of martial arts action crossed with CSI thrills. (ActionFest)

BARE KNUCKLES
TV guest star vet Robert Viharo stars as Kane, a tough-as-nails bounty hunter in this gritty, low-budget actioner from ILSA director Don Edmonds. A masked serial killer is stalking the streets and between working out, smoking and bedding a lovely socialite, Kane tracks him down with help from BLACK SHAMPOO's John Daniels as a rival bounty hunter named Black. Rough, tumble and unapologetically 70s, BARE KNUCKLES is like a violent tv pilot or men's adventure novel adaptation. (Netflix Streaming)

THE CUTTER
Fun actioner with Chuck Norris as an ex-cop-turned-PI, Bernie "Sigfried" Koppel as an Auschwitz survivor/master jeweler and Joanna Pacula as Koppel's niece/biz partner. When an excavation in the Sinai desert yields legendary stones of Biblical origin, they end up (naturally) in Spokane, Washington where Dirk (Daniel Bernhardt) kidnaps Koppel and forces him to cut the stones. When Shep Shepherd (Norris) saves Elizabeth (Pacula) from a diamond heist he ends up helping find her uncle. Director William Tannen (FLASHPOINT, THE HERO AND THE TERROR) keeps the flick moving and the action snappy. Unlike Steven Seagal's recent flicks, Norris knows his limitations and doesn't make his character some sort of indestructible superman who can't be hurt by the younger, flashier Dirk. (Netflix Streaming)

BODY PUZZLE
A bizarro late-in-the-game giallo from Lamberto (DEMONS, DELIRIUM) Bava starring Tomas Arana and Joanna Pacula. After Tracey's husband's corpse is stolen from the local cemetery a vicious killer begins hacking up victims and leaving body parts for her. Arana is great as the increasingly-frustrated cop who is desperate to unravel the mystery and track down the killer - when he isn't bedding the hassled but hot widow. Unfortunately, Bava plays the first half of the movie predictably straight and only allows it to really run off the rails in the latter stages. Had the whole flick hewed closer to the crazy bits I might hold it in higher regard, but it was still fun to see genre vets Gianni Garko, Erika Blanc and John Morghen in supporting roles. (Raro DVD)

MURDER OBSESSION
Every filmmaker should aspire to put a period on their cinematic legacy like Riccardo Freda did with MURDER OBSESSION. This loony genre hodge-podge stars Stefano Patrizi as Michael, an actor with homicidal tendencies who takes his girlfriend to the family estate for a little r&r with his cougary mom (Anita Strindberg in her final flick) and Oliver The Creepy Butler. When pals from his latest project arrive (including Laura Gemser), a mysterious killer starts picking them off. Though it might sound like a textbook giallo, MURDER OBSESSION is anything but, packing its running time with hallucinogenic dream sequences, giant spiders, black magic, blasphemy and more all mixed into a kooky Eurotrash stew. (Raro DVD)

THE EXTERMINATOR
Seriously? Do I need to say anything about this? If you're reading this blog and haven't seen this textbook slice of 80s Ameritrash action sleaze I simply don't know what to tell you. The recent Synapse Blu-Ray release is a must have for any self-respecting trashhound. (Synapse Blu-Ray)

THE NO MERCY MAN
Early 70s Nam-ploitation complete with a mentally-scarred super soldier who returns to the family ranch only to discover that filthy carnys have been making trouble. Our twitchy hero can only take so much and the whole flick consists of a series of escalating events leading up to the inevitable confrontation between the carnys and their thug allies (led by Sid Haig as "Pillbox") versus the soldier and his crew. A somewhat hysterical treatment of post-battlefield trauma in which the grizzled WWII hero dad can't understand why his killing machine offspring won't kill! (exFest)

FEAR IS THE KEY
I've always had trouble buying Barry Newman as a tough guy (he always came off as too Bert Convey Meets Steve McQueen Lite for my taste) but he makes for a watchable cut-rate Bond in this early 70s Alistair MacLean adaptation. Newman stars as Talbot, a deep sea salvage expert who is hired by an oil magnate to retrieve an underwater exploration vehicle needed for a secret mission. It gets a bit convoluted and there's plenty of head-scratching plot machinations, but it's largely worth it for the opening half-hour featuring a crash-filled car chase through Louisiana. The always slimy John Vernon and a pre-GHANDI Ben Kingsley are on hand as villains in need of their comeuppance and Roy Budd's score evokes many a 007 outing. (exFest)

THE MAN FROM HONG KONG
I'd been jonesing to see this one since we caught the trailer at the 2011 installment of ActionFest and it does not fail to deliver. Jimmy Wang Yu stars as a Hong Kong police inspector sent to Australia to extradite a drug runner (Sammo Hung). While there he hooks up with a pair of goofy but affable Aussie cops (including Hugh Keays-Byrne, MAD MAX's "Toecutter"), beds a couple chicks, beats the shit out of half the population, and battles drug-dealing-gun-smuggler Jack Wilton (played with moustachioed awesomeness by one-time 007 George Lazenby). Fast, funny and violent, MAN features a buttload of stunts, crashes and fights, including a firewalking Lazenby and Yu trashing a penthouse fortress. If possible, I actually love Lazenby and ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE more after seeing this flick. (exFest)

DEATH WEEKEND
This oddball Canuxploitationer stars Brenda Vaccaro as a fashion model on a weekend date at the remote country estate of creepy oral surgeon Dr. Black (Chuck Schamata). When she uses the doc's bitchin' Stingray to race Don Stroud and his muscle carload of creeps off the road it turns out to be a deadly mistake. The payback-seeking cretins descend on the estate forcing the pair to fight for their lives. I dug the sleazy vibe of this one, but your mileage may vary with your fondness for the charismatically creepy Stroud. The filmmakers (including producer Ivan Reitman) blow some chances to take the flick in interesting directions that could have pushed it into DEADLY GAMES territory. (exFest)

WIPEOUT!
Henry Silva stars as a stone-faced mob killer in this violent thriller better known as THE BOSS. When a theatre filled with mob dons gets torched by Lanzetta (Silva), surviving mobsters seek revenge by kidnapping the daughter of Lanzetta's boss, Don D'Aniello. Much killing and incineration follows as Lanzetta makes his way up the food chain thanks to orders and advice from top dog Don Carrasco (Richard Conte). Silva is fascinatingly expressionless as the cold-blooded hitman who rescues the kidnapped daughter, only to discover she enjoyed her captivity and is now a wanton nympho. Gianni Garko shamefully overacts as a corrupt cop. (exFest)

VICE SQUAD
The lone exFest entry from the 80s and it was a blast to see Wings Hauser in all his pimp-stick-wielding villainy on the big screen (courtesy of a great-looking print). When drug-addled hooker Ginger (a pre-MTV Nina Blackwood) turns up dead at the hands of her Western-obsessed pimp Ramrod (Hauser in his first starring role), vice cop Walsh (Gary Swanson) recruits outlaw hooker Princess (Season Hubley) to help snare him. Gary Sherman's 1982 sleaze epic is packed with action, boobs, grime, neon, colorful characters and Hauser's terrifyingly evil turn as a vicious pimp. (exFest)

ILSA, SHE WOLF OF THE SS
Of all the ILSA flicks, the original is probably the one I was least itching to see again. Dyanne Thorne stars as the titular character, an insatiable commandant conducting horrific experiments on the camp's prisoners of war. When an American prisoner finally satisfies her wicked lust, he uses his ways in the sack to set in motion a plan to end her reign of evil. Though it has been twenty-plus years since I last watched SHE WOLF, even I realized that the print had been trimmed of a decent amount of sex and gore, a fact quickly confirmed by pals like Bruce Holecheck of Cinema Arcana. Still, Thorne's primary talents are frequently on display and I can't help but chuckle at the use of the HOGAN'S HEROES set. (exFest)

LARGO WINCH: HEIR APPARENT
I missed this one at ActionFest 2011 so I was thrilled to stumble upon it at Redbox one afternoon. Based on a series of French novels/comics, the film relates the origin of Largo, a baby who is plucked from an orphanage and raised in secret as the heir to the fortune of billionaire businessman Nairo Winch. When his adoptive father dies in what appears to be an accident, Largo finds himself thrust into the role as head of the corporation. He soon discovers that the death was no accident and he may be offed before he ever has a chance to claim his rightful spot in the boardroom. If you dig globe-trotting adventure sprinkled with a bit of corporate intrigue you'll dig this. (Music Box Films)

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DTV Features Washed-Up Action Stars on the Comeback Trail

What happens when two aging, past-their-prime action stars who spend their days chugging beer and snorting coke finally find a script worthy of a comeback? That's the story behind DTV, the fourth novel from Andrew Bonazelli, managing editor for the music magazines Decibel and Magnet (which I once wrote reviews for waaaayyyy back when). The novel, which comes with a soundtrack featuring metal bands contributing action-inspired tunes, debuts tonight at 12 Steps Down (831 Christian Street). The book release party is scheduled from 7-10 PM and the winner of the arm wrestling contest will go home with a copy of the book.

Check out Philly Metro for more info. (Thanks to Jeff for the tip!)

Vote for ER in the 2011 TLA Cult Awards!

To say I was surprised and humbled by the announcement that the Exploitation Retrospect web site had been nominated for a 2011 TLA Cult Award is an understatement. While I could name three good pals off the top of my head who probably were more deserving of the nod, I certainly won't look a gift horse in the mouth or turn down the additional readers and maybe a few extra flicks that come our way.

The fact that the nomination is from TLACult.com – powered by TLA Video – definitely means a little more. The TLA or Theatre of the Living Arts was a Philadelphia repertory film institution when I was growing up just across the bridge in South Jersey. And even when I was still too young to catch their screenings of trash cinema and repertory classics, the venue's monthly calendar was one of the first things I grabbed when cavorting on South Street with friends.

Years later I was fortunate enough to enjoy a few screenings when the theater went through its last days as a movie house and when they eventually switched over to an all-music venue I saw the likes of Danzig, The Cramps, Goo Goo Dolls and Cheap Trick there during my days in and around the city.

But even after the theater stopped showing films in the late 80s, the TLA Video stores that had popped up around the city were frequent stops on my way to or from classes at Drexel, my apartment, a club to see a band or even while just walking around town. Few stores boasted as eclectic a selection, even when things like TOMOKO, THE SAINTLY GIRL were not quite as advertised.

So thanks TLA Video for the nod and I encourage all our readers to check out all the categories, vote for us as Best Cult/Exploitation/Horror Blog/Website and definitely spend some time exploring the other nominees in our category.

RIP Robert Hazard

So this sorta makes me feel old.

Robert Hazard, Philly songwriter and one-time contestant for the title of "the next David Bowie", is dead at the age of 59 after a bout with pancreatic cancer. For those of you too young to remember or not from the Delaware Valley, Hazard put out one great self-released EP (featuring the tracks "Escalator of Life" and "Change Reaction"), got signed to RCA Records, never really broke through, and wrote "Girls Just Want to Have Fun".

Check out the video for "Escalator"...



My only real encounter with Hazard came years ago while staying in Cape May, NJ. Hazard was running an antique/collectibles store there. It was one of those awkward moments where the once-sorta-famous guy knows you're the right age to know who he is and you know he knows so you spend the whole time you're in the store not making eye contact so you don't have to say, "Hey, weren't you Robert Hazard?".

Farewell Old Friend

I won't lie to you. Watching Veterans Stadium implode was a bittersweet moment for me. While it was great to see Philly getting stadiums for the Eagles and Phillies, I loved that old stadium, warts, steel, concrete, funky smells and all. Like a little kid said the day Chris and I attended the penultimate Phils game: "This place makes me want to boo."

Thoughts of The Spectrum being leveled bring up completely different memories for me... watching the Sixers and Flyers battle at the top of their division for what seemed like an eternity... going to Phantoms games when the Flyers moved to the bigger arena (and out of my price range)... sharing season tickets to the Wings indoor lacrosse with good friends... getting moved from the back of the floor at a Springsteen show to the fifth row because they'd put the soundboard where out seats were supposed to be... Dr. J's tomahawk dunk over a cowering Laker (I think it was Michael Cooper) that literally shook the building to its core (and broke Doc's wrist if I remember correctly)... and countless Ice Capades and Ringling Bros. shows as a kid.

Though usually said with tongue firmly in cheek, in this instance I really mean it when I say "Good times, good times."

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS Coming to Your Town

Since vampire strippers have already been done to death (though I did enjoy the mid-90s low-budget vampire sluts vs horny priest zaniness of VAMPS: DEADLY DREAMGIRLS) and zombies are the new vampires it seemed inevitable that somebody would come up with the bright idea to bring us zombie strippers.

Cue ZOMBIE STRIPPERS, a new, suspiciously GRINDHOUSE-esque direct-to-video-by-way-of-17-theaters horror flick starring the dream team of Robert Englund and porn star Jenna Jameson.

Sony recently announced that the film, originally slated for the direct-to-video market, will have a limited engagement in 17 cities in mid-April. Baltimore's not on the list but I got a chuckle out of seeing Philly's Ritz at the Bourse listed on the flick' website. The thought of ZOMBIE STRIPPERS playing in a theater that was once the city's exclusive home of eggheady arthouse fare made me realize that things have really changed in my old stomping grounds!

You can check out the trailer at SlashFilm.

Go Phightin Phils!

I'm not the baseball fan I once was. Those days died when the Phillies team I grew up with – Mike Schmidt, Steve Carlton, Bob Boone, Greg Luzinski, Garry Maddox, Bake McBride and, most importantly, Larry Bowa – was dismantled after the team won the 1980 World Series.

By the time the Phils reached the Series again in 1983 – where they lost to my current hometown hopefuls, the Baltimore Orioles – the team featured aging ex-Reds in place of my beloved Phils and things were never really the same.

I've casually followed baseball since then, largely due to the influence of my Dad, a lifelong baseball fan and Phillie fanatic. I was born when Dad was nearly 50 so we didn't see eye-to-eye on lots of things. But sports, especially the national pastime, was something we could always bond over. Even when our relationship in other areas was at its nadir.

Times have changed. Dad's gone. And baseball is even further removed from the game I grew up watching, playing and loving. But a new season officially starts today and when 3 PM rolls around I'll grab my daughter, pop on her Phils hat and we'll settle in to watch the Phils battle the Washington Nationals.

It has been nearly 25 years since a major Philadelphia sports team has won a championship. Twenty-five years. Do I think the Phils can reverse that trend, defy the odds, repeat their success of last year and maybe even win a World Series? Not really. But that's the beauty of sports, especially one with a grinding season like baseball. On March 31, the possibilities are endless.

Unless, of course, you're an Orioles fan.

Wibbage: Hy Lit Dead at Age 73

Wow, two obits in a row to start off your Monday morning. How depressing.

I grew up in the Philadelphia area and had four older siblings ranging from 6 years to 20 years my senior. So I got exposed to a lot of hand-me-down pop culture that other kids my age were not getting a dose of.

While my adolescent years were spent listening to a lot of Wee Willie Webber and Ken Garland on 610 AM WIP (now an all-sports talk station), I can still remember my sister having compilation LPs featuring Hy Lit on the cover. Lit, like Jerry Blavat, was a Philly radio staple, and he bounced from station-to-station in the city. His nighttime show on WIBG, or "Wibbage", was said to draw 3/4 of the listening audience during its heyday in the 1960s.

Lit was admitted to the hospital on November 4 for a procedure following a knee injury and died Saturday from what his son termed "bizarre complications."