Welcome to October aka the best time of year to be a fright fan. Every channel from The Food Network to AMC trots out their spookiest programming and nobody looks at you funny if you spend the next 31 days extolling the virtues of THE PROPECHY, Fred Olen Ray's SIDESHOW and every Z-grade slasher clogging up your Netflix queue.
"Hey man! I'm just getting in the Halloween spirit!"
And so begins our annual 31 DAYS OF FRIGHT blog feature, which acts as many things here at ER HQ. It's part writing exercise and part review clearinghouse but it has also become a bit of an unofficial countdown to my absolutely favorite two days of the year – The Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horror Marathon which takes place on October 26-27. (31 DAYS blog entries from the past five years [!] can be viewed here.)
Cinema Arcana editor/good pal Bruce Holecheck and I have been in attendance every year, even the first 'thon when the seats were at their least comfy and somebody had the bright idea to show Al Adamson's wretched DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN around 5:15 AM. (You can read the grisly details of that first Exhumed marathon here.)
Subsequent years have all sort of blurred together – it doesn't help that the fine gents at Exhumed have added a 12-hour mini-fest each spring to further confuse me – and I can't even find my list from last year, but the event has provided the opportunity to see everything from WICKED, WICKED and RAW FORCE to FRIGHTMARE, LADY TERMINATOR, DEMONS, HOUSE ON STRAW HILL, BLADE OF THE RIPPER, DEAD & BURIED, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH and even the great RE-ANIMATOR on the big screen in all their 35mm glory.
Every year I try and predict what they'll show and every year I come up with a wish list of what I hope they'll show... and every year I'm really, really wrong. But that's okay. It's become an all-too-rare opportunity to meet up with pals, chat about trash, drink too much caffeine, stay up all night and wallow in all the things I love about this time of year.
And speaking of things I love about this time of year, it's time to kick things off with our annual viewing of my favorite Halloween song... "Happy Halloween from Michael McDonald". Sing it with me folks... You don't know me but I'm a vampire/And my friend here is a Frankenstein...
Enjoy the song and enjoy the posts... chime in along the way in our comments section and watch for the first review post – albeit a melancholy one – to appear later this morning.
Today is October 1st, which means two things: one, I've gone into official Can. Not. Wait.® mode for the 6th (!) Exhumed 24-Hour Horrorthon; and, two, it's time for our annual 31 DAYS OF FRIGHT "event". (You can check out all the past 31 DAYS OF FRIGHT posts from 2008-2011 here.)
I use ironic air quotes because it hasn't been too much of an event the last couple years. Real life gets in the way of reel life and, well, these things happen. Thanks to a new lease on my creative life – ie, my daughter just started full-day kindergarten – this year's installment should mark a return to the form of the glory years when there'd be a 31 DAYS-related post on an almost daily basis.
So, without further ado, let me kick off the event with what has become a bit of a tradition...
The warm weather around these parts might convince you otherwise but a quick look at the calendar next to my desk confirms that, yep, it's October.
And you know what that means... the shackles come off and for 31 glorious days it's not just ok to be a horror fan it's downright encouraged!
Pumpkin-flavored goodies fill store shelves (though pumpkin beer is getting dangerously close to being a July 4th offering), every sitcom, cooking show and renovation-centered "reality" program trots out a Halloween theme and some spooky music, and the fine folks at TCM and AMC start airing the flicks in primetime that they usually relegate to the 2 AM on Saturday morning graveyard slot. (You can also check out the ABC Family lineup here or view The Atlantic's exhaustive list of every horror flick airing this month.)
But, so what? As much as my viewing tastes may have wandered from the horror trenches over recent years it's still fun to embrace all that's great, not so great, fun, silly, scary (sometimes), entertaining and lovably dumb about this time of year.
So, as we've done every October for the last seven (!) years it's time for our annual '31 Days of Fright' blog feature, complete with reviews, links, clips, trailers and whatever else we can dig up to make the month fun.
It's hard to believe I've been doing the 31 Days of Fright feature here every October since 2008.
Then again, it's hard to believe 2015 marks the 29th anniversary of ER's debut, but that's another topic for another day.
Though I've given myself the added pressure of editing, writing and assembling the biggest issue in our history, I'm determined to make this the best 31 Days of Fright ever.
Okay, I'll settle for Top 3.
But before we go any further it's time for what has become a bit of a tradition on October 1st around these parts. It might not be The Stanley Cup or a green jacket given to the Masters winner, but I loves me some Happy Halloween from Michael McDonald...
And away we go with the ninth year of the annual 31 Days of Fright feature here at the ER blog.
The idea was oh so simple when I started doing this back on October 1, 2008. I had recently done some themed posts over at my food and drink blog (The Hungover Gourmet) and was looking for a way to get inspired here at ER. Daily horror film related posts throughout October seemed like a natural.
And that was how the whole thing started.
Things were easier then. My daughter was about 16 months old but had no school, no activities, no friends running around the house. She slept for two hours every afternoon, giving me a perfect opportunity to eat lunch and watch some trash to be written up during the next nap or high chair confinement, er, snack.
It's a little different at ER HQ these days. She's 112 months old now – 9 years and change if you want to be a traditionalist. School. Sports. After school activities. Friends. Playdates. Homework. School projects. Then whole shebang. Hardly ever takes a two hour nap after lunch.
Kids can be sooooo selfish.
Anyway, being a stay-at-home Horrordad combined with work, home life and foolishly putting together a whopper of a 30th anniversary issue of ER (coming soon! no! seriously!) has certainly made blogging more of a challenge. Luckily, it may have taken 30 years but I finally seem to have a solid group of contributors who willingly chow down on the video flotsam and jetsam that drifts through these doors on a regular basis.
In other words, I fully expect more than six posts this year. (That was 2015's pathetic tally. Sheesh.)
So let's get this party started and kick things off in our traditional manner... gonna trick it to the treats with Michael Macdonald...
Happy Monday folks and welcome to the latest installment of 31 DAYS OF FRIGHT! It's finally starting to look like fall around here with my gutters filling with leaves, cooler temps forecast for the upcoming weekend and my beloved Philadelphia Flyers getting off to their traditionally slow start (0-3 in their first three games with 1 even strength goal). Personally, I'm still shagged out from a weekend of barbecue, Goblin, Secret Chiefs 3 and Chowderfest so I've turned over the reins this morning to Divine Exploitation's Doug Waltz and his look at a Shock-O-Rama double bill from the one and only Al Adamson. Take it away Doug...
Shock-O-Rama serves up a double bill from one of the great directors of low-budget pictures of days gone by. I'm talking about Al Adamson and his 1978 shocker NURSE SHERRI – included in this set – is one of the staples of low-budget horror.
But first we get a rarity of Al's. FIVE BLOODY GRAVES is more the kind of picture that Al liked to make. A western. And since it's from Al Adamson we don't find it strange that the film is narrated by Death himself.
Basically we get a renegade tribe of bloodthirsty Indians on the war path when along comes our hero, Ben Thompson, who has a grudge to settle with Satago, the head of the evil Indians. Seems that Satago murdered Ben's wife on their wedding day and now he seeks vengeance.
A pretty basic western that, while not anything extraordinary, works well within the confines of the genre. You could see the loving detail Al gave to the flick and that he was probably pretty happy making something that wasn't a cheesy horror flick.
And speaking of cheesy horror flicks, that makes for a perfect lead in for the second feature, NURSE SHERRI, or THE POSSESSION OF NURSE SHERRI, if you prefer.
In this one we get a necromancer who is attempting to bring the dead back to life. It starts to work, but then he has a heart attack. His spirit possesses the titular character and sends her on a bloody rampage throughout the hospital and surrounding area to destroy all those who contributed to his death.
This is a classic of the seventies, a true staple of the drive-in circuit in its time. The lead, Jill Jacobson is gorgeous and all the nurses in the picture fill out their uniforms quite nicely.
The DVD package that Shock-O-Rama has put together for these two flicks is nothing short of spectacular. On the first disc we get the two features with the theatrical version of NURSE SHERRI. In addition we get commentary from Sam Sherman and these are nothing less than required listening. Sam remembers more about the film business than anyone out there. It's like getting a film history course with your exploitation flicks.
The second disc gives us the original cut of NURSE SHERRI and it's quite different from the one that we all know so well. There are three scenes missing that were shot after the fact for the actual release of the film. Instead we get a ton of nudity and it's all good.
As for additional extras we get trailers and some old school drive-in intermission filler. And there is an interview with ebony beauty Marilyn Joi who still looks damned good after all these years.
Shock-O-Rama has managed to put together the definitive Al Adamson double bill in this set. A must have for any true fan of low-budget films. – Douglas Waltz FIVE BLOODY GRAVES/NURSE SHERRI is available from Amazon.
Welcome to (Sorta) Slasher Friday here at ER's continuing 31 Days of Fright. Admittedly, BLOODY BIRTHDAY isn't really a slasher flick but given its early 80s pedigree, attempt to tap into the genre's always-popular "holiday" theme and Arlen Ober's FRIDAY THE 13th-tastic score I couldn't help but break out Severin's new DVD for a refresher course on this slice of killer kids trash.
There are times when I re-watch something I screened during the early days of ER when I can't believe I loved or hated a particular flick. In some cases – BURIAL GROUND, for instance – my feelings about the flick have gone from love to hate right back to deep, unwavering love over the course of two-plus decades of trash film appreciation.
BLOODY BIRTHDAY, however, is not such a flick. Whether I'm sitting in the Budco Millside in 1986 watching it on the big screen or catching up with it some 25 years later thanks to Severin's new DVD, my attitude towards it is pretty much the same – it's a highly recommended and fun time-waster that coulda been so much more.
Originally released in 1981, BIRTHDAY starts off like many a slasher flick that jammed theaters and drive-ins in the wake of HALLOWEEN/FRIDAY THE 13TH. An ominous "ten years ago" pre-credit sequence announces the birth of triplets during a complete solar eclipse and it isn't long before a couple of horny teens are strangled, bashed and buried alive in "present day" 1980.
Is there – as the townspeople and Sheriff Brody (Bert Kramer) believe – a psycho on the loose? Could it be little Timmy (K.C. Martel), who evaded questions from big sis Joyce (Lori Lethin) about his whereabouts the night Duke and Annie literally took a dirt nap?
Nope, it's exactly who you think it is – Debbie (Elizabeth Hoy), Curtis (Billy Jacoby) and third wheel creep Steven (Andy Freeman). Turns out the solar eclipse caused the creepy trio to be born without consciences, so they think nothing of slaughtering everyone from family members and horny teens to pesky Timmy and nosey Joyce, the only "grown up" who seems capable of figuring out that the kids are behind the bucolic suburb's inexplicable and explosive homicide rate.
Co-written and directed by Ed Hunt, BLOODY BIRTHDAY has a ton going for it. It's paced like lightning, features a liberal sprinkling of lightweight gore, and is helped along admirably by gung-ho performances from devil face Debbie and pistol-packing Curtis, who gleefully stalks the streets at night like a tiny Son of Sam.
As an added bonus there's a healthy dose of top-notch nudity featuring a pre-MTV Julie Brown (EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY) who dances around nude for several minutes while her sister runs an amateur peep show ring from her bedroom closet. (Other familiar faces who pop up during the film's 85 minute running time include Jose Ferrer as the town doctor, Joe Penny as a teacher who may or may not have designs on boinking Joyce, and a bleach blonde Michael Dudikoff as Brown's mono-syllabic boy toy.)
On the other hand, if you like 'em so bad they're enjoyable BLOODY BIRTHDAY won't let you down in that department either. There are laughable lapses in logic, every adult is a trusting boob, the killer kids do everything but wear shirts that say "Murderer", and the two one person on the police force appears to be lethally incompetent. Unfortunately, for all the good will it builds with homicidal adolescents dressed like The Phantom from THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN trying to run down their babysitter, the flick's lackluster conclusion always leaves me disappointed.
Unsatisfying ending aside, Severin's new BLOODY BIRTHDAY disc gets my highest recommendation. The flick is the perfect time-waster for an evening of trash viewing and the sight of Debbie trying to strangle a classmate with her jump rope or Curtis blasting away at a cranky teacher never grows stale. Lori Lethin pops in for a good-natured interview featurette, director Hunt contributes an audio interview and I can't imagine any previous home video release of the flick has ever looked this good. – Dan Taylor
Happy Halloween to all you creeps, maniacs and things that go bump in the night! Though over horror coverage continues all year, today marks the end of our annual 31 Days of Fright feature and we'll be celebrating with a triple bill of terror, a pulsing trio of sinema to scare the pants off you... or, if you're lucky, your date! But no screaming, er, I mean "screening" is complete without some coming attractions, right? So let Chuck Francisco walk you to your seat while he shares some thoughts on the recently released GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS VOLUME 1...
The boulevard of retro trash cinema trailers is a brightly lit thoroughfare of promises. Those gravelly voiced storefronts promise action in spades and explosions by the baker's dozen. Ladies of the night, the day, the jungle, the prison, the basement, and the dark alley pry at the wallet with their supple skins. Evocative displays exploit plate glass propositions in promises so fantastical as to defy expectations. These two-minute movie muffins offer all of the calories of a full filmatic meal without the filler of an additional eighty minutes' content. And in many cases we're better off simply strolling this lane of loud promises, well-to-do and dapper, without ever being taken for a ride by a false siren's call. Ninety minutes of wall-to-wall trailers is an hour and a half of non-stop action, titillation, perversion, laughs, and exploitation.
But this has also been an amazingly well-traveled avenue over the past decade or so. If an overwhelming feeling of "been there, done that" pervades the new GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS VOLUME 1 compilation, it's probably because we have walked these streets a million times, seeking the short stack of thrills offered by competing maple syrup sweet discs. It's not that Grindhouse Trailers Classics chose poor trailers, put them in unfortunate arrangements, or neglected some specific spice of schlock in assembling their trashy offerings. On the contrary, everything is button-up tails and top hats to the nines, but it's a borrowed ensemble, worn better by trailer compilations who beat Intervision Picture Corp to the punch by many years' time. The highly successful 42ND STREET FOREVER series is a much more solid proof of concept, as is the ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE'S TRAILER WARS release, both of which include HD Blu-Ray versions as a tremendous step up.
Another scuff on the fancy wing tipped shoes of GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS VOLUME 1 is obvious pixilation scattered about the run time. It doesn't effect all of the trailers, but more than a few deteriorated into the tell tale signs of low-resolution posers, those detestable wanna-be fancy gentlemen trying to put on the Ritz, sadly failing to pull it off. About the only brightly luminescent streetlight along this boulevard is the lengthy Grindhouse expose, BUMP 'N GRIND, a wonderfully wicked and snarky slide down the sleazy cinema aisle of indulgence. This feels fresh and fun, while being whip smart and spot on.
I'd like to stress that this isn't a bad release, only that full-on exploitation fans have already paid to visit these attractions many times, and likely still own the forbearers to this release. Newcomers to the slime bowl of schlock will find this to be a solid adventure that potentially unlocks a world of disgusting and weird in their brainpans. Longstanding perverts and weirdoes need not apply, though, as you likely already live here (and have for some time). – Chuck Francisco
Chuck Francisco is a columnist and critic for Mania.com, writing Shock-O-Rama. He is a co-curator of several repertoire film series at the world famous Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville, PA. An avid beer brewer, rock climber, and video gamer, you can hear him drop nerd knowledge on the weekly podcast You've Got Geek, and follow him on twitter @CyanideRush. He recently wrote about Nazi Zombies, Spaghetti Westerns and American Hippies for Exploitation Retrospect 52 (available from our website). GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS VOLUME 1 is available from Amazon.
I came of age as a trashhound during the 80s and 90s. Forget how it's portrayed in movies and on television, that era ruled. Not only did it feature the last gasp of grindhouses/drive-ins and an explosion of trash cinema zines, but you couldn't swing a re-animated cat without hitting some kind of horror anthology. (I also dig girls with big mall hair. Sue me.)
Oh sure, horror and sci-fi fans had been blessed with anthologies before... and some damn good ones to boot. TV's earlier eras offered up the likes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Thriller and (my favorite) Night Gallery, while cinemagoers got the crap scared out of them by visits to DR. TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS (1965) and TALES FROM THE CRYPT/THE VAULT OF HORROR, a one-two punch of early 70s EC Comics adaptations.
But the 80s and 90s were like a non-stop buffet of anthologized schlock, whether it was pouring forth from the cinema (TWO EVIL EYES, CREEPSHOW, CREEPSHOW 2, THE OFFSPRING, TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE, CAT'S EYE) or, more importantly, your TV screen. No matter what your age or taste, TV had the goods. Tales from the Crypt, Tales from the Darkside, Monsters, Freddy's Nightmares, Goosebumps, The Hitchhiker, Friday the 13th and more all spun weekly tales of revenge, horror, evil and possession, paving the way for what appears to be a new wave of horror anthologies.
THE THEATRE BIZARRE, a six-segment feature boasting an all-star cast of trash cinema vets and up and comers, is a worthy entry in this century's tsunami of truncated terror. Loosely connected by a wrap-around story featuring Udo Kier as a creepy mannequin man whose façade slowly erodes to reveal – AIGH! – Udo Kier, BIZARRE's lineup of writers and directors offer up a unique sampling menu of their own. There's an ode to the head-scratching, Lovecraftian-inspired horror flicks of the 80s (Richard Stanley's 'Mother of Toads' featuring Fulci stalwart Catriona MacColl), a gory effects reel steeped in dream-within-a-dream-within-a-dream tropes (Tom Savini's 'Wet Dreams' starring B-scream queen Debbie Rochon), and even a hypnotic (if a bit incongruous) tale of a tragic accident seen through the eyes of a child not much older than my daughter (Douglas Buck's palette-cleansing 'The Accident' which evokes comparisons to a Twin Peaks-era David Lynch).
Of the film's six pack of sinema, however, three tales stand out. COMBAT SHOCK director Buddy Giovinazzo's 'I Love You' is a bloody tale of betrayal and suspicion, with Andre Hennicke reminding me of a young Klaus Kinski (though Kinski would have probably blanched at playing someone so paranoid and weak). And despite its itchy-skitchy reliance on eye violence (aka my kryptonite), I'd love to see Karim Hussain's 'Vision Stains' expanded to feature length.
But like a dessert that caps off a delicious meal, David Gregory's 'Sweets' provides a fitting conclusion to the festivities. Packed with eye-popping visuals and a sly, sexy, winking performance from Annette Rothman (who also appeared in the director's excellent feature debut PLAGUE TOWN), the segment might make you think twice about going out for cake and coffee after the flick, but it will also send you running to your volumes of Creepy and Eerie that the tale channels.
THE THEATRE BIZARRE is certainly more hit than miss and even the weaker segments have their allure. The Severin disc includes commentary from and interviews with the directors in addition to the usual "bonus feature" suspects like trailers and behind the scenes segments, providing plenty of entertainment as we await more anthologies on the horizon like V/H/S, THE ABCs of DEATH and the Chris Columbus-produced adaptation of Warren Publishing's aforementioned Creepy.
It wouldn't be the final day of 31 Days of Fright without a post from longtime ER contributor and tireless curator of trash, Doug Waltz. Be sure to check out the latest issue of Doug's zine Divine Exploitation at CreateSpace.
EYES OF THE CHAMELEON starts with a psychotic older man screaming at a boy in a pit. We are informed that it is the 70s. The man is so foul that you really feel for the kid even though he never comes in to the pit after the kid.
Flash forward to the present where we meet Sara who has a dead end job in a casino in Vegas. She feels like her life is a waste of time so she spends a lot of time drinking, smoking dope and snorting cocaine.
Then a bizarre, violent encounter with a gypsy palm reader starts sending Sara's world out of control. Casual sex coupled with increasing drug use would be enough to bring anyone down that spiral, but Sara has a kicker to all that.
Someone is slaughtering everyone she knows: from her boyfriend to the corner deli guy. A person, hidden from view, is cutting them all to ribbons. And Sara could be next.
EYES OF THE CHAMELEON gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling when someone gets it right. This flick would fit into the Something Weird catalog without missing a beat. It shows us a grimier side of Vegas and Anne Teal (Sara) takes over the screen whenever she's on it. But, she does it in a clever way. At the beginning of the flick we just see this girl, but as the film goes on she becomes this unstoppable presence.
The fact that this micro-budget flick has some of the hardest softcore sex scenes I have seen in quite sometime is amazing. And when the movie is over it leaves you with a 'What did I just watch?' feeling. I'm still not sure and I might have to go back and check it out with the commentary.
The gore effects are well done. Anne Teal makes this her picture and Vegas looks more down to Earth than ever before. This isn't about what happens on the strip. This is about the people who inhabit the tourist trap and how things can be a little rotten beneath the shiny veneer.
The only extras are a slide show and a commentary by director Ron Atkins which I will definitely be listening to on a second viewing. Troma puts their usual block of fun filled nonsense on the disc and they designed the DVD case to make it look like an old school giallo, which I thought was cool.
EYES OF THE CHAMELEON is one of the sexiest, goriest, kinkiest flicks I've seen in recent years and Ron Atkins is a guy who gets the most out of a tiny budget and a very well done script. – Doug Waltz
Doug Waltz is a longtime contributor to Exploitation Retrospect and contributed a variety of reviews to ER #52 (available from our website). EYES OF THE CHAMELEON is available from Amazon.
After a quick weekend break we're back with more reviews for 31 DAYS OF FRIGHT here at Exploitation Retrospect. Today's review comes to us from longtime ER contributor Jonathan Plombon. Be sure to check out his EPIC article on the wrestling and porn connection in ER #51, now available for pre-order.
I don't take too kindly to Amazon.com reviews. Half of them seem to be written by the film's director or a book's author or the director's mother or the author's mother. And as everyone knows, your mother's opinion means little. Because she either loves you to death or hates your ass. Either way, it's as far from objective as an opinion gets.
The thought that perhaps the Amazon.com comments for MY STEPDAD'S A FREAKIN' VAMPIRE were influenced by this matriarchal bias crossed my mind when I read the scattered reviews for the film. They're almost unabashed in their adoration, which, of course, made me immediately think that MY STEPDAD'S A FREAKIN' VAMPIRE would be snot rags. But fuck me a hand basket, MY STEPDAD'S A FREAKIN' VAMPIRE is actually good.
MY STEPDAD'S A FREAKIN' VAMPIRE's tone recalls memories of FRIGHT NIGHT, complete with the sort of edgy, cuss-filled PG-13 content that '80s flicks like THE MONSTER SQUAD nonchalantly included. The title, however, panders 100% to fans of children's programming, which in recent years, has unleashed a slew of "the person whom I'm supposed to trust most is actually trying to kill me" flicks like Nickelodeon's THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF and The Disney Channel's Canadian import, MY BABYSITTER'S A VAMPIRE.
But don't judge FREAKIN' VAMPIRE by its title or it's rather simple and obvious premise of a boy named Rusty (Lahcen Anajjar) who discovers that his stepdad Richard (Larry Peterson) is a member of the undead. It's every suburban, white kid's worst fear. Produced, directed, and co-written by David Matheny, the film plays up Rusty's teenage anxiety of dealing with the typically ignorant adults with more believability than could have been possible without such a decent cast and Matheny's cloudy, dreamlike texture.
Word of warning: don't ask questions like how a vampire could hide his murderous rampage from his wife or get a job without venturing into the sun. Like your guidance counselor, FREAKIN' VAMPIRE doesn't give you any real answers. This vampire's just walking about, exposing himself to sunlight and living it up during the day.
Get over it. I applaud the whole "screw explanations" approach. In fact, I got so into not having to abide by any traditional rules that I sort of hoped there would be a talking duck for no other reason than to have a talking duck. Now, I can't say whether or not the new rules are a product of its low budget or if it's just surge of creativity, but if you're lingering on whether or not the stepdad vampire can be in light then you probably should just skip the movie altogether.
This reviewer won't go into microscopic detail about every last plot point, since the viewer can see most of them coming, and hell, can probably predict much of the film from the title alone. But there's a familiarity with the film that curls up with you like a warm blanket. And even if the retro feel doesn't completely satisfy you, the last forty minutes will.
Filled with rubbery, head-exploding slimy minions stalking the night, the climax sets itself in a graveyard where a far-off howl of uneasy light shines dimly in the sky above. The look screams of computer generated, but it's remarkable considering that this was made for nickels.
MY STEPDAD'S A FREAKIN' VAMPIRE is bubble-gum fun. It lasts just long enough to enjoy every minute without you getting antsy in your seat, even if there isn't a terrible amount of creativity to chew on. – Jonathan Plombon
With September all but over and the last grains of beach sand cleaned out from between my toes, that can only mean one thing – Halloween season kicks into high gear!
To celebrate everybody's favorite frightfully fun time of year we'll be returning to our 31 Days of Fright countdown, a daily dose of horror, terror, exploitation and more in the form of reviews, news stories, pop culture oddities and whatever other fear-inducing goodies we can dig up.
If you missed last year's countdown, be sure to check it out here.
Welcome to Slasher Friday here at ER's 31 Days of Fright! Today, long-time ER contributor, Divine Exploitation publisher and NAHUM author Doug Waltz checks in with a look at Synapse's new disc for the 2008 retro slasher homage FRAT HOUSE MASSACRE.
It's 1979 and Sean (Chris Prangley) and his brother Bobby (Rane Jameson) have had a hard life. Their parents were killed when they were young. But, they were taken in by the loving Miss P and she gave them everything they could ask for. Now, it's time for the two boys to head off to college and join Delta Iota Epsilon.
But, before they can get there, Bobby gets in a horrible car accident and lies in a coma. Sean returns to his fraternity to find that things have changed. The hazing rituals have turned lethal. When he tries to stop it he is murdered, but at the exact second of his death Bobby snaps out of his coma.
Now, Bobby goes to school, but he isn't there for an education. He's there for revenge.
While I was watching this I couldn't believe how well it had been done. I'm an old fart and remember 1979. They got a lot of this spot-on and you could almost believe that this was some undiscovered slasher flick from the late 70's. The clothes, the cars, the speech. All of it rang true. Sure, you could nitpick some of it, but why bother? It's supposed to be fun.
I have always said that all slasher flicks have to have boobs and blood to be effective, and that still holds true. But, there are other things that make an effective slasher flick. Gory set pieces, bad acting, a feel of it being shot in a small town with people you have never seen in a movie before. This hits on all counts. Even Jon Fleming as the sadistic frat president, Mark, manages to chameleon himself in such a way that you don't recognize him right away.
Here's my one nitpick.
These guys in the frat kill all their pledges. What will happen when they all graduate? If they are supposed to be the top fraternity in the school then you know that their charter is going to question why there have been no new members in a while. I realize that this is nitpicking a slasher flick, but it really bothered me throughout the flick. I needed a better reason than the non-answer we were left with.
As I was checking out the special features it mentioned director Alex Pucci's previous film, CAMP SLAUGHTER. I thought if this was this good then an homage to camp slasher flicks would be even better.
I was right.
Years ago I reviewed a flick called CAMP DAZE. I really liked that one as well. They retitled it CAMP SLAUGHTER for release.
We might want to keep an eye on this Alex Pucci fellow. He seems to be making movies just for me. – Doug Waltz
While the recently reviewed SCOOBY-DOO AND THE RELUCTANT WEREWOLF magnified the original show's comedic roots and matchedthem with the absurdist elements often typical of Hanna-Barbera fare, 1998's SCOOBY-DOO ON ZOMBIE ISLAND turned those roots upside down and thankfully ditched ancillary characters like annoying nephew Scrappy and non-Velma galpal Googie while reuniting the old gang in the process.
Tired of chasing down spooks only to uncover hologram projectors and bad guys in masks, the Mystery, Inc. gang has gone their separate ways. Shaggy (voiced by one-time Howard Stern regular Billy West) and Scooby are customs inspectors, Velma owns a bookstore specializing in mysteries ('natch), and Daphne (with the help of cameraman/producer Fred) is an investigative journalist with a syndicated television show. When she announces her plan to track down and chronicle real supernatural events, Fred gets everybody back together for a road trip that takes them deep into the Louisiana bayou.
The first of more than twenty direct-to-video movies that capitalized upon and eventually boosted renewed interest in the property, ZOMBIE ISLAND not only features a palatable 77-minute running time but also introduced famous (or somewhat famous) actors in supporting roles. (The latest video adventure finds the gang teaming up with KISS to solve a rock and roll mystery in what is basically an animated sequel to KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM.)
Frustrated by a familiar parade of charlatans and paranormal hoaxes (set to a tune that gently mocks the original series), the reunited Mystery, Inc. end up as guests of Lena (Tara Charendoff) and Simone (Adrienne Barbeau), the cook and proprietor of a resort on isolated Moonscar Island. Built upon the grounds of an old hot pepper plantation (cue whacky hot sauce gags), the site is haunted by a ghostly pirate, roamed by zombies that are far more than simple animatronic spooks, and inhabited by a couple of moon-worshipping cat creatures intent on sucking the lifeforce from our heroes.
As the ZOMBIE ISLAND trailer promises, "this time the monsters are REAL!" and the gang soon find themselves up to their necks in ghostly messages, levitating Velmas, bayou zombies and voodoo dolls. Oh sure, there are the de rigeur Scooby-Doo elements such as the multiple red herrings (including Mark Hammil as woogy-eyed swamp fisherman Snakebite Scruggs) and the outrageous eating disorders of both Shaggy and Scooby, but the script by Glenn Leopold (who co-wrote the 1981 slasher THE PROWLER!) leans a bit more on the supernatural elements and gets downright spooky at times with monstrous transformations, pirate massacres and disembodied moans I had to promise to turn down during a recent screening.
In other words, it's no surprise that to this day my daughter refuses to watch ZOMBIE ISLAND after an initial viewing that gave her nightmares and led to a brief but strict Scooby-Doo moratorium.
Alas, after SCOOBY-DOO AND THE WITCH'S GHOST (featuring Tim Curry) and SCOOBY-DOO AND THE ALIEN INVADERS (in which visiting aliens dress up like hippies thanks to 1960s television shows) the remaining direct-to-video movies have resorted to more familiar territory complete with faux phantoms and thieving carnies.
Scooby and the gang return to Cartoon Network in the series 'Be Cool, Scooby-Doo' (see trailer below) in which the recent high school grads live it up while encountering monsters and mayhem. No word on whether those monsters will be real or of the "greedy scientist masquerading as a Mayan cat creature" variety, but the show definitely features a new take on the trademark animation – critics have compared to a 'Family Guy' cutaway gag – and apparently ditches the relationships and serial story arc format that highlighted the recent 'Mystery, Inc.' show. – Dan Taylor Dan Taylor is the editor and publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and has watched more Scooby-Doo in the last 6 years than any grown man should admit. Be sure to catch all the 31 Days of Fright posts by following ER on Facebook and liking ER on Twitter. Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island is available from Amazon.
I should really be more aware of this. My wife's birthday is September 30th and I'd already made mental notes to shift into official Can. Not. Wait.® mode for the fifth Exhumed Films 24 Hour Marathon which arrives in four weeks. (Seriously. Can. Not. Wait.)
And with the arrival of October comes The Return of 31 Days of Fright, our annual month-long look at things that go bump in the night. I started this themed outing back in 2008 and the first couple years went well. Lots of posts, links, reviews, trailers, news, etc.
Last year? Well, I really dropped the ball. And I'm not even sure why (though I have a good idea). But it looks like I never even got to the halfway point before things disintegrated.
So, I pledge not to let that happen this year. Thanks to our growing roster of contributors there should be a steady stream of content, plus I've been getting back into review mode. Then again, we all know how the Summer of ACTION! turned out.
Anyway, let's kick this off in style. With a classic. And let me be among the first to wish you a Happy Halloween!
After taking part in a recent National Blog Posting theme month over at The Hungover Gourmet, I was wondering what theme I could use as motivation to post here at ER. "Horror" seemed like a natural given the time of year and the abundance of Halloween- and horror-related stories, blogs, flicks, goodies and more floating around my office, the web, and every store I walk into (though Costco already had their Christmas yard displays for sale this past weekend).
In other words, welcome to '31 Days of Fright' where I'll be sharing everything from links to blogs and review sites to artwork, videos and new and "vintage" reviews of my own.
First up, though, is this highly educational web page that I discovered courtesy of StumbleUpon.
Do you ever marvel at the stupidity of the characters that populate horror films? Like why they always seem to revisit grisly murder scenes on the exact anniversary of said murders or why they never, ever listen to the crazy person who is warning them of certain doom?
Could be that they never read the Horror Movie Survival Guide. This exhaustive list of 300+ tips covers everything from what to do after you think you've killed the monster, to group behavior, pets in horror films and more.
Do yourself a favor and before you go driving off for a secluded weekend at some cabin in the woods ala CABIN FEVER or the EVIL DEAD films glance over the list and maybe, just maybe, you'll be the one left standing for the sequel!
I've probably seen 300 movies that could be summarized with the phrase "kids go to the woods, kids get dead". It's about time somebody made a movie with a nice, descriptive title like that. For Day 2 of 31 Days of Fright longtime ER contributor, low-budget cinema expert and slasherphile Douglas Waltz weighs in on this one.
With a title like KIDS GO TO THE WOODS, KIDS GET DEAD do
I really need to provide a synopsis? Okay, okay, I'll do it. Sheesh! No sense
of humor out there.
It's Casey's birthday and she's going camping with her
brother, her boyfriend, another couple and two lesbians thrown in for good
measure. When they stop at a party store near the cabin the grizzled Nam vet
tries to warn them of the danger. Do they listen? Once again I would like to
refer you to the title of the film.
For this particular film I would like to break it down
into the 'good' and the 'bad'. And believe me, there are enough points on each
side to make this work. Let's start with the 'bad' so that we can wash it away
with the 'good' afterward. THE BAD
Apparently, this director watched a lot of crappy
horror with Rhonda Shear on USA's Up All Night. This flick has segments where a
big-boobed, empty-headed chick (Candy Adams) giggles about stupid things and
manages to remove any kind of suspense building throughout the film. This was
an incredibly bad idea on the part of the filmmakers and completely ruined the
movie. There should have been an option to watch it without those parts.
The killer has no identity. People always refer to the
80's slasher genre as a bunch of teenage kids being slaughtered by a faceless
killer, but that's not true. Think of it this way: FRIDAY THE 13th? Jason
Voorhees. HALLOWEEN? Michael Myers. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET? Freddy Krueger.
I could keep doing this, but you get the idea. Hell, even THE LAST SLUMBER
PARTY (1988) has a backstory for the masked killer, even though it'ss
incredibly thin. The killer in this movie has nothing. Zip. Nada. This is the
one-two shot that killed the movie for me.
THE GOOD
I did like that throughout the movie Casey's brother is reading a book called Kids Go to the Woods, Kids Get Dead. I thought that was clever.
There was plenty of gore and blood that was pretty well
done so, since they were trying to emulate the slasher genre, good for them.
Every girl, except for Casey, showed us her boobies and
they were all very nice. Another nice touch.
They covered the whole "do drugs, have sex and
die" cliché that was the basis for every slasher flick from the 80's so,
kudos for that.
All in all, with the exception of the two 'bad' points,
this movie is a slasher flick at its core. I know classic fans will complain
because it's shot on video and it's new and all that other stuff, but I have
news for you – if video had existed with the quality we have today at pretty
inexpensive prices back then, do you think that people who made things like THE
LAST SLUMBER PARTY or THE MUTILATOR wouldn't have used video? If you think
that, you're kidding yourself.
A majority of the slasher flicks of the 80's
were made for no other reason than to make money because they were popular.
That's it. So, if the makers of this movie could find it in their hearts to cut
out the host who makes Rhonda Shear look like a MENSA student and take two
seconds to give the killer an identity, then they would have a winner on their
hands. It wouldn't be all that difficult to do. I even have some ideas if you
want to hear them.
The DVD has deleted scenes, a behind-the-scenes
featurette and a gag reel that shows they were having a pretty good time making
it. Too bad that in its current state the flick fails on enough levels to make
it unwatchable. – Douglas Waltz KIDS GO TO THE WOODS, KIDS GET DEAD is available from Amazon. We receive a small commission for purchases made at Amazon through this blog. Thanks for your support!
Despite its reputation, watching Bruno Mattei's NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES (aka HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD) was a watershed moment in my appreciation of trash cinema. ER co-founder and longtime pal Lou Goncey and I rented it on VHS one September evening and enjoyed the hell out of its mix of zombies, bloodshed, gore, nature footage, Play-Doh masks and borderline incoherence. In other words, we'd found a movie to champion. A few weeks later we watched in amazement as a print of the flick – under the title HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD – unspooled at the Super 130 Drive-In on a cool, nearly deserted October evening. Naturally, when the projectionist/security guard started showing the reels out of order we got out of our lawn chairs, hid our beers and made our way back to the "projection booth" to inform him of his error. What we got instead was a shrug of the shoulders as he admitted "yeah, I know... I just didn't think anybody would care!". That event only enhanced the film in my eyes and it remains a favorite of the genre to this day. So, when Evan Romero professed his mutual love for the flick and offered up an appreciation of the VHS for a combo 31 Days of Fright/VHS Wednesday, how could I resist...
When Bruno Mattei's name is on the marquee, everyone is guaranteed to have a good time. With NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES, not only do you get Mattei, but you get gut-munching zombies as well! Seriously, what's not to love?
A facility called the Hope Center leaks a toxic chemical which turns people into zombies. Elsewhere, a team of commandos dispatches some eco-terrorists, then head to the Hope Center as all communication has been lost. En route they encounter a female reporter and her Yanni look-a-like assistant, who accompany them on their mission. Standing between the group and their destination are hordes of flesh-eating zombies ready to chow down at a moment's notice! Can our heroes elude the living dead and make it out alive? Or will they become nothing more than zombie fodder?
NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES has a reputation as being one of the worst zombie films ever made. I mean, with the crack team of Mattei behind the camera and TROLL 2's Claudio Fragrasso behind the script, what else should you expect? Sure, the flick is a bit loopy and unpolished, and it "borrows" liberally from other sources (Goblin's DAWN OF THE DEAD score and footage from the 1976 documentary THE REAL CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST being the most obvious), but if good films are all about providing entertainment, then NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES is a good film.
What NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES lacks in refinement it more than makes up for in fun, and the first ten minutes shows it isn't here to fuck around. Wham! Bam! Zombies! Oh, you wanted some build-up and character development? Forget it pal – this is Mattei. The best you're gonna get is right here, right now; and some walking, talking cardboard cutouts. But hey, you do get Zantoro, played by Frank Garafalo, one of the coolest characters ever to traipse through a zombie movie. Oh, and you get a commando who likes to engage in a bit of cross-dressing. Green tutus and top hats never looked so good.
Of course you get plenty of guts and crimson spillage. Gorehounds, rejoice! Fun is at hand! And I've got to admit the effects are pretty solid. And where else are you gonna see a cat tear its way out of a zombie's stomach? Talk about indigestion... Oh, and did I mention that NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES contains one of the coolest zombie kills ever to grace the silver screen?
If I really had to bitch about anything, it's that the VHS transfer from Creature Features is horrible. Everything is dark and fuzzy and grainy – so much so that at times it is hard to tell what is going on, especially during the village attack. Was that a zombie that just passed by? Who's shooting who? Hello, I'd like a bit of light with my nighttime so I can tell just what in the hell is going on! Thankfully though, the DVD from Blue Underground (under the title HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD) is clearer than Caribbean waters. So pick that one up if you can.
NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES is tacky, wacky, crude, cheesy – in short, a poor man's zombie film. But it is a whole helluva lotta fun, guaranteed to go well with your beer. So check it out and make this an October worth remembering. – Evan Romero
Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). You can read more of his reviews at ReelAtrocities.com or at PopHorror.com. He last wrote about MAD COW for Troma Tuesday. NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES aka HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD is available from Amazon (on a double feature BluRay with Mattei's RATS: A NIGHT OF TERROR).
Trying to put the finishing touches on a mammoth 30th anniversary issue and stay on top of our 31 Days of Fright blog feature may have been biting off more than I could chew.
In fact, it'd probably be for the best if we just moved Halloween to sometime in November.
Everybody cool with that?
Well, assuming that's going to get about as much traction as #repealthe19th I better put on my big boy pants and get back to work on both things!
But first, I wanted to dash off a few quick capsules of some of the movies I saw in the theater this week. That's right! I actually made it out to not one, not two, not three, but FOUR honest to goodness movies this week which throws my whole theatrical screenings average for a total loop. (Okay, so one was that MIDDLE SCHOOL movie which I saw with the wife and daughter but hey, it meant putting on presentable clothing and venturing into the outside world.)
First up was a trip to Silver Spring, MD for a couple screenings at the American Film Institute Theater. I'm pretty embarrassed that I've lived in this area for close to 16 years and last weekend was my first trip down there. Considering the number of revivals and their annual Spooky Movie Festival (which was the reason for the trip), I should probably have my "Movie Lover" card revoked. Bonus points for the burger, tots and Double Duckpin at the Quarry House Tavern around the corner, even if they did charge per can about what I pay for a six pack.
Up first was MY FATHER DIE (2016), the debut feature from Sean Brosnan, son of that guy who played James Bond. Chester (Chester Rushing of STRANGER THINGS) is best buds with and protector to his younger brother Asher (Gabe White). But when he crosses the line with their biker father, Ivan (an impressive Gary Stretch who looks like Norm McDonald's impression of Burt Reynolds coupled with Barry Bonds' steroid regimen), it results in Chester's death, Asher's hearing loss, and a long stretch in the slammer for dear old dad. Fast forward two decades when a grown, but still deaf, Asher (now played by Joe Anderson from TV's HANNIBAL) discovers that Ivan has been released early and he must ramp up his plan for revenge. A swirling, sweaty Southern gothic stew of preachers, porn, stomped cops, torture sessions, car chases and gun battles ensues as Ivan and Asher head towards their inevitable showdown. Maybe a touch long at 102 minutes, Brosnan's debut is nonetheless riveting and explosive, with plenty of humor to offset the revenge-driven mayhem. And yes, that's John Schneider as the grizzled cop following the trail of blood and bodies.
Shifting gears completely was the Spooky Movie followup. Tim Reis' BAD BLOOD: THE MOVIE (2016) is an ooey gooey love letter to all those mad scientist VHS flicks we rented in the 80s. Making her feature film debut, Mary Malloy stars as Victoria, a young woman home from college to find herself. Unfortunately, she finds herself living with her mom, meddling stepfather (Brian Troxell) and reptilian stepbrother. Out for a night with friends she ends up attacked by a slimy creature and is reported missing, presumed dead by Stensland (Troy Halverson), the investigator hired by her stepfather. When she turns up weeks later it's assumed she's hooked on some kind of designer drug which stepdad Wade quickly smashes so that she can get clean. Unfortunately, the "drug" was actually an antidote designed to keep her from turning into a hideous "werefrog". Calamity ensues. Reis, who also wrote the script, deftly juggles both horror and comedy, making BAD BLOOD feel like any one of a hundred similar flicks I rented over the years. Halverson practically steals the show as the deranged ex-cop on the werefrog's trail and though the ending never went as far as I hoped the whole slimy affair has me in search of THE DEMON'S ROOK (2013), an earlier flick Reis worked on.
Last but not least I had a chance to hit the theater last night for a screening of SHIN GODZILLA (2016), the latest Tokyo stompfest featuring The Big G. I'm neither a Godzilla fanboy nor a purist, so I wasn't bothered when friends whose opinions usually track with mine mentioned that the flick was maybe a tad talky and even, well, boring. These lowered expectations probably served me well and with a Bobby Flay Crunch Burger and Onion Rings in my gut and a Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA in hand (oh how I love modern cinemas!) I settled in for 120 minutes of wanton destruction. Unfortunately, it's more like 20 minutes of wanton destruction, Godzilla evolution and laser tails coupled with a solid 100 minutes of meetings, meetings about meetings, subtle digs at the US, not so subtle digs at the US, charts, origami, copier setup and did I mention meetings? Seriously, the BluRay should come with a 30 Day free trial for GoToMeeting. I'm thinking that having Godzilla TAKE A NAP (?!) in the middle of the movie probably wasn't the best plot device and the whole thing felt pretty anti-climactic, but any night that includes burgers, brews and a stompfest can't be all bad. – Dan Taylor
Dan Taylor is the editor and publisher of Exploitation Retrospect. He's pretty sure his recent case of writer's block is over. He should really get back to work on the 30th Anniversary issue of the zine.
Carl Henry Jessup lives up in the mountains with his pretty half-sister and makes a deal with a demon to bring back his parents from the dead and, yes, he still has their rotting corpses in his possession. He fills the rest of his day talking about the good old days, drinking moonshine and killing trespassers for their meat. Grade A Meat!
Carl Henry Jessup learns the hard way that you never want to make a deal with a devil. It never turns out good.
Let's talk about what I liked about this movie: it attempts to embrace the good old Grindhouse days. The computer program that they used to add the film wear and tear was pretty good. Probably the best I've seen. Not too much repetition in the flecking and scratches and the orange flare ups on the edges looked pretty authentic.
The lead, Paul E. Respass, did immerse himself in the role and came across as a cannibalistic madman with a soft spot. By the end, it's too late for him, but the actor brought a lot to the role. Theresa Holly, who plays his half-sister Rae Lynn, is drop dead gorgeous. Old school pin-up girl gorgeous. All in all the acting comes across as professional.
So, what we have here is a really good looking film with some excellent performances.
It's a shame that's all we get.
Some hillbilly up in the middle of nowhere killing people and eating them? I've already seen THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Hell, I've seen a couple of the sequels. Does this really need to get made again? Sure, there's a demon and some creepy shit going on here, but so what? It doesn't feel like the main part of this particular story and at a running time of 99 minutes it could do with some trimming.
Not scary. Not creepy. The gore effects are fine and look like a hundred other movies doing the same effects. It just doesn't bring anything noteworthy to the table and if you expect to sell a few copies of the DVD you really need that.
Now, a true shining part of the film is the part of Papa Jessup played by Ron Jason of LAS VEGAS SERIAL KILLER and ANGEL OF VENGEANCE fame. Any guy who worked with Ray Dennis Steckler and Ted. V. Mikels is okay in my book, but there wasn't enough of him in it. More like a glorified cameo.
Finally, the entire story is told by a fella just credited as The Storyteller (S.E. Feinberg). He opens and closes the movie with a trio of little kids sitting and listening to this twisted tale. He made me laugh both times and deserves a special mention in this review just for that. Especially at the end. I saw it coming and laughed anyway. Well done, sir.
The DVD comes with a making of documentary, a short film that I didn't bother with, a horror happens interview and three trailers for this movie. I knew I was in a little trouble when I watched the first trailer and thought to myself, "This seems like an awfully long trailer." If I'm bored by the trailer, what chance does the movie have? – Douglas Waltz Douglas Waltz is a longtime ER contributor and the editor/publisher of the long-running zine Divine Exploitation (available from Amazon). LEGEND OF THE HILLBILLY BUTCHER is available from Amazon.
