Is This Any Way to Decide a Championship?

The Beer Snob and I partake in some good-natured ribbing about sports, namely futball vs football. He loves the former while I love the latter, though recent developments make me wonder just how much I care.

So yesterday I decided to give his sport of sports a try and watch the UEFA Championship, which pitted Chelsea vs. Manchester United. Everybody was making a big deal about how this was the first all English final in some time (maybe ever) but I believe one team is owned by Tampa Bay Bucs owners the Grazers and the other is owned by some Russian dude, so how "all English" can it be?

Admittedly, when I say "watch" what I really mean is that I hooked up our new DVR cable box (the old one stopped pausing and playing recorded programs and live stuff) and had it on while I was running around the house doing other stuff like taking pictures for eBay and the Kinski blog. Naturally, this meant that I missed not one, but both goals that took place during the game's meandering running time. (I still don't understand the way soccer futball is timed, but whatever.)

So here's my question... is a penalty kick contest really the best way to decide a championship? I've read comments on other blogs about how "exciting" this was but it basically comes down to a guessing game between the goalie and kicker. In most cases the kicker is shooting the ball into an open net because the goalie is sucking turf twenty feet away from the ball. How exactly is this deciding which is the better team?

The only equivalents I can think of would be if you decided the Super Bowl with a field goal kicking contest, the NBA Finals with a free-throw shootoff or the World Series with a game of home run derby.

Soccer. Just don't get it.