Play the Henchman 24 Memorial Playoff Challenge

"But I could never be a henchman..."

Not true Henchman 24. You were one of the greats. Alas, you will be missed and in your honor I have started the Henchman 24 Memorial Playoff Challenge. Come and join the fun. There are no real prizes for winning the group challenge, just the best prize of all... bragging rights.

He may have been #24 in rank but he's #1 in our hearts. Okay, maybe #2.

The group password is: monarch.

Awe. Some.

As if The Return of Favre story couldn't get any better now comes this bluff call from Packers management. Your move Brett.

He Knows Pre-Season Doesn't Count, Right?

We have now entered a vast sports wasteland as far as I'm concerned. The NBA playoffs and Stanley Cup are done and there are no Olympics this summer. Yes, Wimbledon is upon us but the dominance of Roger Federer makes this feel like another two-week march towards the history books for one of the most dominant players we'll ever see in any sport.

Hell, when I'm actually planning to watch the NBA Draft you know things are slow. (And yes, for the record, I know there's a baseball season in full swing but I can't get really excited about it until the Phillies have created an insurmountable deficit for themselves in August.)

So it was with great delight that I found myself actually reading a story about Jon Kitna and the Detroit Lions yesterday. Seems that Kitna, the God-loving, buzz-cutted QB who lost his starting job to Carson Palmer when he was with the Bengals, looks at the Detroit Lions – who went 3-13 last year – and sees good things. Very good things.

During a recent radio interview, Kitna said that though he remarked in March that he thought the Lions would win 10 games, he's now adjusting that prediction. Not down, like any right-thinking human being, but up.

"I'll keep to myself what I think we actually will win. But it's more than 10 games," Kitna was quoted as saying.

By all accounts Kitna seems like a nice, fairly humble, God-fearing individual. Sorta like Kurt Warner without the breakout season and annoying, spotlight-hogging wife. But I never realized that he was clearly insane.

Yes, the Lions drafted the incredibly gifted Calvin Johnson and Mike Martz's offense could be fun to watch. But 10+ wins? The team's schedule for the upcoming season features the usual divisional matchups with Green Bay, Chicago and Minnesota. Even at my most generous I'm not seeing them go better than 4-2 in the division but I think 2-4 or 3-3 is a more likely scenario.

Even if they match my best case scenario and win 4 games in their division, that means Kitna sees them winning 7 or more games against the following teams: Oakland, Philly, Washington, Tampa (H), Denver, Arizona, Giants (H), Dallas (H), San Diego, Kansas City (H).

In all likelihood you're looking at a sweep at the hands of the NFC East as well as losses to Denver and San Diego (both on the road). Maybe you win at Oakland in Week One (and that's really a toss-up game in my mind at this point), beat Tampa at home, and possibly beat Arizona (though I think the Cardinals will be a playoff contender this year) and the Chiefs (who will be well in to their "late season, just missed the playoffs due to Herm Edwards' cement-headed coaching" funk).

In other words, my best case scenario... one that would land Rod Marinelli a Coach of the Year trophy... has them finishing 8-8 in a highly-competitive division where the Bears are the best team and everybody else is floundering at the same level of mediocrity. But hell, that'd be more than double the number of wins they had last season!

Yes, I know. It's not even July and I'm debating the Detroit Lions season schedule. Great ain't it?

Jaws In, Joe Out?

If this report is true, March 26th may go down as the best day of the year.

UPDATE: March 26th has officially been declared a holiday in my household. Not only is that smug wet blanket Theisman gone from the MNF team but they're replacing him with The Polish Rifle, Ron Jaworski, one of the best analysts and football minds out there.

Nice move Worldwide Leader!

NFL Playoffs... Divisional Matchups

As much fun as Wild Card Weekend can be in the NFL Playoffs, it's usually a bit of a dud. LAst week, for instance, the home teams won all their games with the wild card teams biting the dust, sometimes in spectacular fashion. I didn't see the Colts/Chiefs game, but from all accounts I didn't miss anything. Then again, what do you expect when Herm Edwards is on the sidelines?

This weekend has the potential to go down as a great one in NFL playoff lore. You have great storylines for ever game including: a great offense facing off against a great defense; the hottest team in the playoffs versus the best story in the league this season; a potential team of destiny against the shakiest #1 seed in recent memory (with the possibility of crappy weather looming); and, the three time champs going against the upstarts from out west.

First up we have the Ravens/Colts game, which here has become the Battle for Baltimore. Could be Ravens by 10 or more, though I think they'l use a steady diet of Lewis and Anderson to pound the ball up the middle and keep Manning on the bench. I predict at least one defensive TD for the Ravens. Ravens win and cover.

Any Eagles win from here on out is gravy for me. They won the division against all odds and got further in the playoffs than Dallas and NY. The loss of Shepard is going to hurt and the Saints have a ton of weapons. If Garcia bounces back from last week's so-so performance and has another 300+ yard, mistake free game they can get the win. Remember, they went in there earlier this year and lost on a last second field goal when the defense allowed an 8:00 drive at the end of the game. The play of the defense is what has really fueled this turnaround but my head still tells me the Saints have too many weapons and win this one. Saints win and cover.

The Bears are notorious playoff chokers and play in one of the worst divisions in a crappy conference. Since their hot start the defense hasn't been all that impressive and if the weather is as bad as they say I see a lot of frayed nerves in Chicago... a low scoring game lets the Seahawks stay in this one. I think the Bears win (but fail to cover) this week but will lose to the winner of the Saints/Birds game in the NFC Championship, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

On paper the Chargers should win handily. But they don't play the game on paper. Only two of San Diego's eight home wins came against teams with winning records. Rivers has never played in a playoff game. Schottenheimer has a horrible postseason record (5-12 I believe) and has a penchant for blowing it with poor play calling and clock management despite having superior talent.

My guess is that Belichick will focus on bottling up Tomlinson and put the game in Rivers' hands. Since losing in Miami in week 14 the Pats have put up more than 35 points per game and their defense was second only to the Ravens (one of two teams to beat the Chargers), giving up less than 17 points the last four games. With The Football Jesus (10-1 postseason, 3 rings) taking the snaps on the other side, I'll take the proven winners any day given that San Diego isn't much of a home field advantage (nice field, great weather).

So my picks are:
STRAIGHT UP: Ravens, Saints, Bears, Pats
AGAINST THE SPREAD: Ravens, Saints, Seahawks, Pats