AMITYVILLE 3-D (1983, aka AMITYVILLE III: THE DEMON)

Tony Roberts stars as John Baxter, an investigative reporter who exposes frauds and paranormal scammers. After he and his partner, Melanie (Candy Clark), debunk a con at the old DeFeo/Amityville Horror house, John ends up purchasing the home from a local realtor. 

Sure, why not? 

Faster than you can say “I used to be in Woody Allen movies,” the house starts exerting its weird influence on John and those around him: the realtor dies at the home, John is trapped in a wonky elevator (that was just inspected last week!), and Melanie gets into a car crash after spotting a demon’s face in a photograph.

It all comes to a head after the deaths hit close to home and John’s estranged wife (Tess Harper) goes off the deep end. With the help of a team of paranormal investigators led by Dr. West (not THAT Dr. West), John seeks answers about the home’s otherworldly inhabitants.

The third entry in the surprisingly robust Amityville film series (check out AMITYVILLE BACKPACK or AMITYVILLE BIGFOOT), A3D leans into the trendy-for-its-time 3-D sequel concept, which gives the flick a dated, hokey feel. Besides Roberts, Clark, Harper and familiar faces like Robert Joy (Dr. West), the flick features Lori Laughlin (FULL HOUSE, the college fraud scandal) and Meg Ryan in supporting roles, making it perfect background viewing for Spooky Season. 

It would be followed by the tv movie AMITYVILLE 4: THE EVIL ESCAPES (1989), in which a possessed floor lamp takes its evil shenanigans to the west coast and terrorizes Patty Duke and Jane Wyatt. – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor of Exploitation Retrospect, and a sucker for anything with the AMITYVILLE in the title. See his review of 1993's AMITYVILLE: A NEW GENERATION.

THROWBACK THURSDAY with MUNCHIES (1987) starring Harvey Korman

ER contributor and pal Devin Kelly mentioned 1994's MUNCHIE STRIKES BACK (starring Howard Hessman) the other day and it got me thinking about the post-GREMLINS (1984) wave of crazy critter cinema that produced such classicks as TROLL (1986), GHOULIES (1984), HOBGOBLINS (1988), SPOOKIES (1986) and, of course, CRITTERS (1986). 

But it also got me wondering about the relationship between MUNCHIE STRIKES BACK and 1987's MUNCHIES, exec-produced by Roger Corman for his Concorde Pictures. As it turns out, there's only a tenuous relationship as MUNCHIE STRIKES BACK director Jim Wynorski had lensed 1992's MUNCHIE (with Loni Anderson and Andrew Stevens!) after a request from Corman to create a MUNCHIES '87 sequel. Wynorski discarded the idea, came up with the more kid-friendly "Munchie" puppet and cracked the lucrative family flick market. The success of the first film led to the proposed sequel getting a sequel of its own, the aforementioned MUNCHIE STRIKES BACK.

Somewhere along the way I remembered that I reviewed the original (sic) MUNCHIES back when it was released on home video and thought I kinda liked it. After digging through a few back issues, here's my original review of MUNCHIES from MGM/UA Home Video from the pages of Exploitation Retrospect #9 (September 1987), complete with excessive use of commas.

Roger Corman made a career out of taking a hit film, stealing the idea, and then milking it shamelessly. That's my man. (For proof, see ALIEN and the Corman film FORBIDDEN WORLD.) Since leaving New World Pictures, Corman's output has slackened a bit, but his new arm, Concorde Pictures is finally beginning to pick up the slack.

Tonight, I watched MUNCHIES, a film Corman acted as Exec. Producer for. This is a blatant, shameless rip-off of the Steven Spielberg/Joe Dante film GREMLINS. Nothing new, since one of Dante's best films is PIRANHA. That flick, produced by Corman for New World, is a blatant, shameless rip-off of Steven Spielberg's JAWS. What goes around comes around don't it.

Starring Harvey Korman in a dual role (yes, an evil twin story), the pic tells the story of an archaeologist (Korman #1), who finds a creature that resembles a clearance table GREMLINS plastic toy from the local K-Mart. I can hear Corman now: "Ah, just slap some Vaseline and a piece of cloth on it and no one will know!"

Upon returning home, Korman's evil twin kidnaps the "Munchie" so that Korman #1 can't get the money to pay off his house or land or something. Complicating matters are Korman #1's son and his gal-pal, and Eddie the son of the local sheriff. Weird stuff.

There are a few good jokes, especially when the Munchies steal an AMC Gremlin, and the line "LA is like New Jersey, only with earthquakes." However, the film never goes beyond the "better than expected level".

One thing that really bothered me about the film was the musical score, which amounts to nothing more than a blatant rip-off of the music Danny Elfman composed for the film PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE. While this did bother me a bit, I shouldn't expect anything else from Corman. Ah well, give it two and a half stars. – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and reading his old reviews makes him cringe.

MUNCHIES (1987) is out of print and goes for more than expected on the secondary market like Amazon and eBay.

2015 Watch List and a Happy 2016 Filled with Trash and Sleaze

The other day I came to a conclusion... I had done a crappy job of keeping track of my movie watching in 2015. Despite a strong start to catalog my wallowing in the cinesludge, somewhere around oh movie #12 I stopped updating my spreadsheet and fell into a deep sinematic funk.

But, thanks to piles of notes, social media posts and streaming services that track my activity, I was able to cobble together what is a completely incomplete snapshot of my 2015 Movie Watching. As expected, the list features numerous anthology flicks (due to the upcoming issue of ER) and documentaries (which are easy to flip on in the background while I work).

What's surprisingly missing are re-visits with old favorites like RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND, DEMONS, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH and LIFEFORCE, so I clearly anticipate catching up with all of them over the coming months.

Having just pulled this list together I won't impulsively pick out a Top 10 Favorites as I often do but I will make a note to swing back around in the next week and highlight some flicks that entertained me in what was an unmotivated year.

Here's hoping your 2016 is safe, happy, healthy and filled with all the action, sleaze, gore and horror you wish!

[REC]3

[REC]4
30 FOR 30: TROJAN WAR
A CHRISTMAS DETOUR
ALTERED STATES
AN HONEST LIAR
ATARI: GAME OVER
BACK ISSUES: THE HUSTER MAGAZINE STORY
BATMAN: ASSAULT ON ARKHAM
BIG HERO 6
BLOODSPORT
BRAIN DAMAGE
CANNIBAL FEROX
CHANNEL 13
THE DAMNED: DON'T YOU WISH THAT WE WERE DEAD
DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
DEADTIME STORIES
DEATH BY VHS
DIRE WOLF
DISASTER ON THE COASTLINER
ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
ELVES
ENEMIES CLOSER
THE EQUALIZER
FAST 7
FRANKENSTEIN'S ARMY
FUTURE JUSTICE
GODZILLA 1985
GONE WITH THE POPE
THE GOOD DINOSAUR
GOON
HI-8
HOMEFRONT
HORROR OF PARTY BEACH
HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD
HOW TO SAVE US
INSIDE/OUT
ISIS RISING: CURSE OF THE LADY MUMMY
ISLAND OF THE LIVING DEAD
JACK REACHER
JOHN WICK
JUNK FOOD HORRORFEST
KRAMPUS: THE RECKONING
LIFE ITSELF
LOST SOUL
MARTIN
MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE
THE MINION
NEAR DARK
NEVER LAKE
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS
NIGHT TERRORS
NIGHTFALL
NIGHTHAWKS
THE OCTAGON
OUT OF FOCUS
PIRANHA 2: THE SPAWNING
QUARANTINE
QUARANTINE 2: TERMINAL
RAGE
RISE OF THE BLACK BAT
SCAREWAVES
SCOOBY-DOO & KISS: ROCK & ROLL MYSTERY
THE SHIEK
SHOCK VALUE
SILENT RAGE
SPECTRE
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE
STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI
STAR WARS: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS
SUPERSTITION
TALES FROM THE CRYPT
TERROR VISION
TORTURE GARDEN
THE UNLIVING
VAULT OF HORROR
WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU
THE WRECKING CREW
ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING

31 Days of Fright: Slashers, Sleaze and Losing My Milligan Virginity, or, An Exhumed Horrorthon VIII Recap

For the last eight years, the holidays have arrived early here at ER HQ. And no, I don't mean Christmas or Thanksgiving – though I do love the opportunities they present to eat, drink and gather with family and friends (and maybe even offer up some Holiday Horrors).

No, I'm talking about Halloween, or, more precisely, the annual Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horrorthon. Launched back in 2007 to celebrate the DelVal film group's 10th anniversary, they have treated (and occasionally tricked) us with eight 'round-the-clock cinefests designed to delight, shock, scare and enthrall us... and 2014's edition was no exception. (For more on Exhumed VIII including some live sound check out Cinesludge episode 3.)

After spending Friday evening handing out hundreds of pieces of candy – and winning the pumpkin carving contest – at my daughter's grade school Boo Bash (think Trunk or Treat held inside), I downed a few beers and hit the hay to embrace the last sleep I'd get until late Sunday afternoon. With Horrorthon partner-in-crime Bruce Holecheck (of Cinema Arcana) along for the ride we made our way to Philly, ditched the car in the over-priced hotel garage, though secure in the knowledge it would be there for a quick, painless departure the next day.

Our approach to the show has changed over the years. The first year was truly uncharted territory and friends called us "crazy" for going. Until we reported back how fun the event was and, oh yeah, that we saw PIECES, BURIAL GROUND, DEMONS and PHANTASM – just to name a few – on the big screen. I remember drinking gargantuan amounts of coffee and Mt. Dew that first year and stashing a small pizza under my seat for late nite noshing.

These days my "go bag" is packed with bottles of water, Cliff Bars and 100 calorie packets of roasted almonds for when hunger hits at an inopportune time. Even my beloved Wawa Italian hoagie has been replaced with a chicken salad sandwich on rye with bacon and I drink more water than coffee. But it certainly paid off this year as the urge to doze was far less frequent and I only snuck out for fresh air and caffeine twice, but more on that later.

The pre-show line is always fun as you end up chatting with the folks around you about the event's secret lineup – films are not announced in advance and a program (and ballot) with vague clues is your only insight into what's in store. After seven years of pathetic shots in the dark I've given up on making guesses and handed my ballot over to Bruce. I've seen a lot (A LOT) of movies in my day, but I don't possess an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure gore and insane slashers... plus, I tend to convince myself that every clue is really going to finally for reals mean a showing of a beloved flick like LIFEFORCE, BLOODSUCKING FREAKS or NIGHT OF THE CREEPS.

Quick "hellos" to pals like Doc Terror and Chuck Francisco complete, we're in our seats for announcements (Most Important: No talking! This isn't your living room and, despite what you may think, you're not a writer for MST3K.) and door prizes, anxiously awaiting the first of – gulp – 15 flicks over the next 24 hours and change.

1. THE KEEP (1983)
Previous fests have typically launched with more of a straight horror flick, so this atmospheric slice of WWII horror/sci-fi from writer/director Michael Mann was a bit of a departure. I hadn't seen THE KEEP since the days when it played PRISM (Philly's local movie/sports pay cable channel) but I remembered it had a rocky road to the big screen and online reports suggest that about half its original running time was chopped for theatrical release. While the studio interference certainly shows, the cast is great, the Tangerine Dream score is haunting and brought to mind Mann's MANHUNTER, and it features a somewhat good guy-esque role for the usually villainous Jurgen Prochnow. Available on what looks like a grey market DVD.

2. BLACK MAGIC (1975)
Martial arts star Ti Lung headlines this 1975 Shaw Brothers classic complete with battling magicians, countless potions, erect talisman, a supporting German Shepherd and rice-encased privates. A rich schemer sets her eyes on a young, engaged engineer and hires a sinister magician to cast a love spell. Followed a year later by the even crazier sequel, BLACK MAGIC 2 (aka REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES). Available on DVD.

3. GODZILLA'S REVENGE (1969)
I vaguely recall having seen this kiddie-oriented Godzilla flick when it aired on UHF back in the 1970s, but doubt I've seen it since. A latchkey kid daydreams of trips to Monster Island, where Godzilla lives with his son Minira and a bevy of other kaiju critters. The kids and a subplot about some bank robbers are a little annoying but even recycled Godzilla flick footage is a treat on the big screen. The flick's moral seems to be that the path to happiness is fighting and pulling pranks, and that just seems odd. Available on DVD.

4. LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3 (1990)
I've never been a fan of Tobe Hooper's over-the-top, Cannon-financed sequel, much preferring Jeff Burr's take on the family of cannibal killers roaming the dark back roads of the Lone Star State. Featuring Viggo Mortensen, Ken Foree and Kate Hodge in her first starring role, LEATHERFACE is a perfect example of late 80s/early 90s horror cinema, complete with dated styles, quippy dialogue, a hard rock soundtrack (Laaz Rocket!) and – unfortunately – harsh MPAA cuts to achieve an R rating. Still, even when neutered this is a fast-paced and occasionally harrowing minor classic. Available on DVD with R-rated and Unrated versions.

5. BLUE MONKEY (1987)
Each Exhumed Horrorthon contains at least a couple flicks I simply never, ever expected to see on the big screen. This year featured several of those "Whoa!" moments, the first of which was William Fruet's 1987 paean to the big bug monster flicks of the Atomic Era (reviewed on our website many years ago). An innocent finger prick ends up producing a monstrous bug – thanks to a growth agent added by some too cute kids – and it's up to off-duty cop Jim Bishop (Steve Railsback) to save the day with the help of an ER doc and her entomologist pal. Shifting effortlessly between comedy, action and goo-drenched horror, BLUE MONKEY also features SCTV regulars Joe Flaherty and Robin Duke as comic relief and a pre-teen Sarah Polley (DAWN OF THE DEAD remake) as one of the kids. Available on VHS only.

6. PET SEMATARY (1989)
The Stephen King novel that inspired this stiff, stagey flick may have been the last book I read from the prolific author – and I recall not being able to put it down. Maybe that's why I've never warmed up to this adaptation and always preferred the way over-the-top sequel featuring Clancy Brown as the world's craziest living dead sheriff. At least that flick knows what it is and embraces it... PET SEMATARY wants to be taken seriously (Dale Midkiff is ponderous as the lead) while its attempts at horror produce more titters than terror. Sometimes, Wawa is better and once I was sure we were getting this overrated entry I made my way down the street for coffee and fresh air, knowing I'd get back in time for the meat of the flick and that killer title tune from the Ramones that plays over the end credits. "I don't wanna be buried... in a pet cemetery..." Available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

7. THE GATE 2 (1990)
The festival's 80s block comes to a conclusion with Tibor Takacs' follow-up to his 1987 metal-and-monsters original (which opened the 2012 Horrorthon). Louis Tripp returns as Terry, the metal-loving teen intent on giving another go at conjuring the demons that emerged from the titular gate in his friend's backyard years earlier. When he's joined by a trio of delinquents, they find themselves able to grant wishes... until it all turns (literally) to shit. Co-star/love interest Pamela Adlon (billed here as Pamela Seagall) went on to a prolific career as a voiceover actor, even winning an Emmy for her work as Bobby Hill on the beloved KING OF THE HILL. "All sloppy... and no joe." Available on VHS only.

8. LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET (1977)
With the Horrothon nearing its halfway point, the tone shifted dramatically from the more innocent late 80s/early 90s to the dank, dark and dangerous 1970s thanks to the very "WTF?!" LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET, an orgy of sleaze and violence that makes Wes Craven's LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT look like a Disney flick. Directing as Victor Janos and starring under the name Steven Harrison, gutter auteur Roger Watkins packs this surreal head-scratcher with images of sex and pseudo-snuff that put it miles ahead of similarly "controversial" flicks like SNUFF. I'd be hard pressed to synopsize LAST HOUSE but suffice it to say that it kept the audience in stunned silence for its mercifully short running time (and I mean that in the best way possible). Available on DVD.

9. GURU THE MAD MONK (1970)
To be frank, I'm not sure exactly what could provide an adequate palette-cleanser after the sensory onslaught of DEAD END STREET, but this Andy Millgan "period piece" was probably as good a choice as any. Surprisingly, despite wallowing in the cinemuck for 40 years (?!) I have never had the "pleasure" of watching an Andy Milligan film. Oh sure, I've read about his work in everything from FILM THREAT to SLEAZOID EXPRESS, but I never pulled the trigger on one of his polarizing, anachronistic epics. As Bruce put it while the credits rolled, "it's like a filmed stage play put on by insane people". I'm not sure I can do GURU more justice than that – and I'm not sure I'll be seeking out more Milligan in the future – but I'm glad I can finally say that I'm no longer a Milligan virgin. Available on DVD.

10. BOG (1983)
Looking every bit like it was filmed in the 1970s – because it was! – BOG has the dubious distinction of being the one flick that desperately wanted to seduce me into a late night snooze. I wasn't sure if it was the timeslot or the movie itself (Bruce insisted on the latter), but BOG's long takes, geriatric love story and deliberate pacing kept wanting me to accept sleep's sweet embrace. "Be gone, harlot!," my brain screamed as I fought to stay awake and cross the threshold from that dangerous 2 AM to 5 AM slot into the sinematic homestretch. And once BOG's creature was defeated – or was it? – I got a second (or, perhaps, third) wind. Available on DVD.

11. MOTHER'S DAY (1980)
People have asked me if the Exhumed Horrorthon features breaks to grab dinner, use the bathroom or simply stretch your legs from the International House's not quite comfortable seating. And while the answer used to be a qualified "yes", recent years have seen the show feature little more than five to ten minutes of trailers jammed between flicks. In other words, just enough time to use the john, grab a smoke or hike down to the nearby Wawa for a sandwich and coffee. Naturally, it's wise to wait and see what film begins next, so when the trailer reel after BOG suggested that the "satirical" horror on tap was from the folks at Troma, I waited with bated breath. Was this the year that my beloved BLOODSUCKING FREAKS would finally appear on that big ol' screen? Or, was it going to be a more likely candidate such as the mean-spirited, though at times intentionally funny, MOTHER'S DAY. Unfortunately, it ended up being the latter so I waited through the opening 20 minutes or so and ducked out for some invigorating 5 AM in Philly air, returning in just enough time to see the trio of gals from the "Rat Pack" take their revenge on mama and her boys. Available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

12. HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT 2 (1987)
The homestretch of any Exhumed Horrorthon is always dicey. At that point you've fought off sleep, rounded the corner towards home, gotten your xth wind and can kinda see that finish line. But will you sprint across, propelled by the power of LADY TERMINATOR, THE CHILDREN, PIRANHA and RE-ANIMATOR (a la 2009) or be dragged kicking and screaming like 2011's quartet of BLOOD DINER, THE BURNING, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE and MEET THE FEEBLES? (Full disclosure, that was the only year I actually left the event before the last film was over, embracing a hazy ride home over Peter Jackson's ho-hum puppet flick.) This year's closing quartet definitely delivered the goods, kicked off by this supernatural – and in my opinion – superior sequel to the more ballyhooed original (recently reviewed by Chuck Francisco). Barbecued prom queen Mary Lou Maloney possesses the body of good girl Vicki Carpenter (who may be afraid of what's happening to her but isn't afraid of some full frontal nudity) and even sets her sights on former beau Billy Nordham (Michael Ironside), now the school's principal and the father of Vicki's boyfriend. This flick is absolutely 80s and absolutely one of my underrated faves, though I can't believe there are two more PROM NIGHT flicks! Available on DVD.

13. NIGHTMARE AT SHADOW WOODS (1987)
Probably better known under the title BLOOD RAGE (which apparently sports a different cut of the film), SHADOW WOODS is a rare Holiday Horror set on Thanksgiving. Set off by seeing his mother (Louise Lasser) hook up at the drive-in, a young boy murders another patron with an axe and promptly blames his twin brother, who gets locked away for the crime. Fast forward to Thanksgiving night when the locked up (but innocent) brother escapes from the mental facility and mom announces her engagement to Brad the apartment complex manager. Evil twin Terry – now a college student – is set off by the announcement and begins butchering his way through friends, family and hospital staff sent to retrieve his brother. Never quite by the numbers, SHADOW WOODS benefits from performances by the quirky Lasser and Mark Soper (as both of the a bit bonkers brothers), plentiful gore, some nudity, early 80s fashion crimes (it was filmed in 1983 but not released until 1987) and a script that isn't afraid to repeatedly use a blood/cranberry sauce gag. I'd love to see this obscure gem get a nice release. Available on VHS.

14. KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS (1977)
I still remember my skin crawling when I watched this NIGHT GALLERY-worthy tale of aggressive spiders attacking a remote Arizona town when it hit UHF back in the late 1970s. And unlike some horrors of the period, KINGDOM holds up extremely well, benefitted greatly by a top-notch B-cast headlined by William Shatner, Woody Strode and David McLean. Shatner – as veterinarian Rack Hansen – never overdoes it as the horseback riding hero and the whole cast plays the grim tale straight. The final shot is haunting and reminds you of a time when ending horror flicks on a down note was a-ok. Available on DVD.

15. NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986)
"Thrill me." I've been waiting almost 30 years to see Det. Cameron (Tom Atkins in a movie-stealing performance) utter those words on the big screen and the wait was totally worth it. Part of a personal 80s Trinity that also includes RE-ANIMATOR and DEMONS, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS remains one of my favorite horror films ever made and – for me, at least – one of the few horror-comedies that deftly juggles exploding heads and one-liners with equal aplomb. I rated it five stars upon seeing the VHS back in the 80s and it ranks that high to this day. And, thanks to the guys at Exhumed Films, I can cross another masterpiece off my Theatrical Bucket List. Available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

So there you have it – a quickie recap of a great event featuring one of the most solid Horrorthon lineups to date. Kudos to the entire Exhumed Films crew who bring together a great annual event that comes off almost seamlessly, though I know that there are probably plenty of hiccups along the way.

I just have one request for next year or the next or even the next. BLOOD! SUCKING! FREAKS! In the meantime I suppose I can settle for the new Blu-Ray...!

31 Days of Fright: It's a Slasher Mash-Up With CAMP QUILTFACE: FIRST CARNAGE... Or Something

Better late than never, I always say, and with my daughter's grade school BOO BASH tonight and the Exhumed Horrorthon in the morning I just hope I can keep things straight. Better to give out the skull rings and happy monster stickers tonight, not the copies of ER and NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR Blu-Ray! Here's your Friday dose of slasher fun ... times two!

I have not seen what is referred to as the "CAMP BLOOD trilogy" and – after reading a synopsis – I'm not entirely convinced the makers of 2014's CAMP BLOOD 3 (sic) have either.

According to online sources, 1999's CAMP BLOOD features a group of campers on the run from a killer clown in the woods. One member of the group survives for CAMP BLOOD 2 (2000) and is hired for a movie-within-the-movie about the original massacre.  Five years later, series creator Brad Sykes mined the "reality show trope" by having contestants line up to spend the night in the infamous woods for a shot at a million dollars, only to have their ranks thinned by a bloodthirsty killer who may or may not be the "legendary" clown of the original flick. Titled WITHIN THE WOODS – not to be confused with the EVIL DEAD precursor of the same name – the flick seemingly brought the FRIDAY THE 13TH-inspired series to a conclusion.

Or so we thought.

Enter the prolific Polonia Brothers and the recently released CAMP BLOOD: FIRST SLAUGHTER (MVD), inexplicably also known as CAMP BLOOD 3. In a nutshell, students in a one-credit urban legend class at a local college are tasked with proving whether or not the "Clown of Camp Blood" is real... or bullshit.

And, like so many before and after them, the dim-witted, unprepared victims students head off into the woods. Will they discover the location of the legendary "Camp Blood"? Probably, because it seems like every character in the movie discovers the sign at some point. Will they find evidence of the murderous mountebank? Probably not, because in a first reel twist the "Clown of Camp Blood" gets offed by another deep woods stalker, this one decked out in camouflage and sporting a mask that looks like it was left over from the EMPIRE OF THE APES shoot.

Students wander off, the seemingly out of shape killer wheezes after them and... news flash! It's three months later and the students have disappeared, leaving only video evidence that will reveal their collective fate. Yep, CAMP BLOOD: FIRST SLAUGHTER has turned into a found footage slasherfest, thanks in part to the camcorder the killer wore on the side of their mask.

From here on out writer/director Mark Polonia (SPLATTER FARM, PETER ROTTENTAIL, EMPIRE OF THE APES [see ER #52 for my review]) delivers pretty much what you'd expect from a low budget slasher riff that looks like it was filmed in SNOW SHARK's backyard. There's campfire fun, horny hijinks, students wandering off to get killed, more finding of the "Camp Blood" sign and priceless dialogue like "a broken down cemetery, a broken down church and a broken down car... man, I hope this isn't an omen".

Maybe a bit too ambitious for what was surely a miniscule budget (it feels like the prop department had one cutaway machete that's used repeatedly), CAMP BLOOD: FIRST SLAUGHTER is enjoyable on a casual viewing level. Neither outrageous nor super gory, it's best recommended for slasher completists and lovers of low-budget horror only.

And this story would end right there had I not picked up THE KILLER 4-PACK (MVD) the next day and glanced at the back cover. Only to find that one flick – CARNAGE: THE LEGEND OF QUILTFACE (2000) – was directed by none other than HELLINGER helmer Max Cerchi. (FYI, David Zuzelo and I talk at length about Cerchi's HELLINGER, HOLY TERROR and, yes, QUILTFACE in the first episode of CINESLUDGE available here and at iTunes.)

Written by John Polonia (who died in 2008 after working on countless low-budget flicks with his brother – and CAMP BLOOD 3 director – Mark), CARNAGE: THE LEGEND OF QUILTFACE (aka CARNAGE ROAD) mines much of the same territory as CAMP BLOOD: FIRST SLAUGHTER, though in much more straightforward slasher fashion.

This time out our intrepid urban legend detectives have been replaced by a quartet of college photography students instructed to head out to the desert and take photos, unaware that the disfigured, machete-wielding veteran known as "Quiltface" stalks the dust-swept wasteland. Luckily, a chatty van driver (the scene-stealing Max Hail) is only too happy to inform the students about the legend before dropping off the "idiots wanting to go to the desert".

Unlike HELLINGER and HOLY TERROR – available on a double feature disc from MVD – QUILTFACE lacks the quirky charm that made those flicks so jaw droppingly enjoyable. Oh sure, Quiltface gets all put off by one student's bra and eats the money she tries to bribe him with (and then does a little dance), but he lacks the charisma that Wayne Petricelli brought to the titular role of Hellinger. And although Nick Armas from HOLY TERROR shows up for a blessedly brief role as a horny shutterbug who gets Quiltfaced during the opening sequence, any goodwill engendered by his death is negated by Dean Paul as the shriekiest final guy-girl in the history of horror cinema.

Resembling a poor man's David Walton (tv's ABOUT A BOY), Paul screams, shrieks, panics, cries and all but wets his pants during the flick's 70-minutes-though-it-feels-longer running time. You'll be rooting for Quiltface to drop his character like a three foot putt thanks to one of the single most annoying performances in horror history.

That said, there's enough strangeness about CARNAGE: THE LEGEND OF QUILTFACE under any name for me to recommend it to lovers of cinesludge and other slices of oddball sinema, but all others beware!

THE KILLER 4-PACK (featuring CARNAGE: THE LEGEND OF QUILTFACE), CAMP BLOOD: FIRST SLAUGHTER and the HELLINGER/HOLY TERROR: DOUBLE FEATURE FROM HELL are all available at Amazon.

HOLIDAY HORRORS: THANKSKILLING 3 (2012)

It's still a few hours till Thanksgiving dinner but I feel like I've already had my fill of turkey – or, should that be "Turkie"? – thanks to multiple viewings of the too long and too unfunny wannabe cult flick THANKSKILLING 3.

And if you're first thought upon reading that is "oh no, I missed THANKSKILLING 2 ... damn you Netflix!" don't worry. Other than as "kid-friendly" snippets shown in T3 the flick doesn't actually exist, yet it's the driving plot device of the third installment in the series. Which is really the second installment.

Wha?

Unfortunately, that all makes about as much sense as the actual THANKSKILLING 3, which somehow turned the funny, fowl-mouthed slasher spoof vibe of the cheapie original into a successful Kickstarter campaign to fund a needless sequel with a $100,000+ budget. Never have I been so happy that I failed to fund something.

Despite a GHOSTBUSTERS 2-esque cover with the tagline "In Space No One Can Hear You Baste" THANKSKILLING 2 is an epic disaster, with truckloads of copies being delivered to a remote landfill where they can be destroyed in an impressively atmospheric sequence propelled by some infectious beats. Turkie - stuck in a sitcomesque home environment complete with an awful wife, an annoying kid named Nibla and a laugh track - gets wind of the affront and sets off on a quest to find the lone remaining copy so that he can use it to upload a curse via the world's streaming devices.

Had returning director/co-writer Jordan Downey and crew stuck to this premise maybe THANKSKILLING 3 would work better. Unfortunately, Turkie gets pushed to the background while we spend most of the excruciating 99 minute (?!) running time with: Uncle Donny, a Thanksgiving-obsessed entrepreneur who sports a George Washington-style powdered wig; Flowis, an over-sexed, rap-loving granny puppet; Yomi, a puppet on a quest to find her lost mind; and, Muff, a gigantic interstellar bounty hunter (?) who travels with Rhonda, a bisexual space worm.

The result is an almost impossible to follow riff on everything from space-based horror sequels and the EVIL DEAD 2 to early 90s video games, THE LORD OF THE RINGS flicks and informercials (the dead on PLUCKMASTER 3000 spot did elicit a chuckle), just to name a few. (I suppose the raunchy puppets are intended as some kind of homage to Peter Jackson's MEET THE FEEBLES, but I've never understood the appeal of that flick either so maybe I'm just the wrong audience.)

The original THANKSKILLING worked for me because it delivered what it promised: a foul-mouthed, homicidal turkey who slashed his way through the flick's easily-digestible 75 minute running time. THANKSKILLING 3, on the other hand, is like a holiday meal that goes on too long, filled with unsatisfying dish after unsatisfying dish. Only the dishes are lame jokes and anemic gags that grow tiresome in very short order.

THANKSKILLING 3 is available from Amazon.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: Anthology Flick Friday Gets the Creeps... CREEPSHOW II That Is

When you talk about horror anthology flicks the conversation inevitably turns to 1982's CREEPSHOW. Thanks to a successful theatrical run and a healthy afterlife on cable and home video, CREEPSHOW is one of those flicks that seemingly every horror fan has seen at some point. And you know what? It holds up pretty well thanks to a solid list of talent both behind the camera (George A. Romero, Stephen King and Tom Savini) and in front of it (Tom Atkins, Ed Harris, Hal Holbrook, Ted Danson, Leslie Nielsen, Adrienne Barbeau, Vivica Lindfors and EG Marshall).

Given its success – the flick grossed more than twice its budget at the box office alone and was a video store staple throughout the 80s – it always surprised me that it took five years for a sequel to turn up in theaters (via New World!). And though it's better than I remembered, the downgrade in both look and talent make this one feel at times like little more than a straight-to-video cheapie.

While the flick's trio of terrifying tales are still inspired by Stephen King stories, Romero took over the screenwriting reins and passed the directing chores to CREEPSHOW's director of photography Michael Gornick (in his only feature effort). Lost along the way are the first film's use of comic panel artwork and imagery, a surprise given Gornick's presumed role in helping shape the look of the original CREEPSHOW.

Trimmed from five segments down to three, CREEPSHOW 2 opens with a wraparound starring an unrecognizable Savini as "The Creep" before segueing into 'Old Chief Wood'nhead' which features George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour as down-on-their-luck store owners who run afoul of a narcissistic Indian (tv veteran Holt McCallany) who has dreams of being a star in Tinseltown once he puts the dusty old homestead in his rearview mirror. Not surprisingly, the regal, titular wooden Indian that stands guard in front of the store does not take kindly to Sam Whitemoon besmirching his people's good name and much Indian-inspired mayhem follows.

The second tale – based on King's classic and creepy short 'The Raft' – feels like it gets the short end of the stick in this anthology. The basics of the tale remain the same, with pals Deke (Paul Satterfield) and Randy (Daniel Beer) heading to a remote lake for a fall fling with their gals. When a deadly, oil slick-like shape in the water eats one of the girls, Deke, Randy and Laverne (Jeremy Green) must outwit, outlast or outswim the powerful blob.

I still remember stopping by the local 7-11 on my way to school in order to grab the copy of The Twilight Zone magazine that included the tale and devouring it – much like the blob devours the characters – during class. A few changes occur between the printed page and the big screen, most noticeably the ending and the fact that Randy becomes a less sympathetic character thanks to his attempted tryst with Laverne. (It has been years since I read the story but I remember their coupling being more consensual while in the film it comes off as sorta assaulty.)

It doesn't help the tale that Deke – played by the better actor of the two male leads – is the second to go. Beer's line delivery throughout is pretty stiff and robotic, making me wish that he had been yanked through the cracks instead of stoner jock Deke. (It came as no surprise that Satterfield has gone on to a solid career in both both soaps and series TV).

Rounding out the flick is the one-note, drawn out 'The Hitchhiker' in which adultery-minded Mrs. Lansing (Lois Chiles) hits and kills a hitchhiker (Tom Wright) while trying to get home from a tryst. Panicking at what she's done, but unwilling to face the consequences, she continues on – feeling safe in the belief that nobody witnessed her crime. Alas, the bloody hitcher continues to pop up (choking out a gravelly "thanks for the ride, lady!" at each encounter), causing Mrs. Lansing to go further and further over the edge.

Former Bond Girl Chiles (MOONRAKER) is game and holds the segment together with her performance, but the whole thing grows stale in a hurry and the repeated catchphrase comes off like an attempt to find another "Where's my cake?!" for the flick to hang its hat upon.

Don't get me wrong... as anthologies go CREEPSHOW 2 isn't bad, I just wish the last two segments had been flopped so that 'The Raft' was given more time to spin its weird web. Minor quibbles aside, the flick zips by and the easily digested segments make for quick viewing over a couple lunch breaks or while taking care of stuff around the house.

Despite doing fairly solid box office numbers in relation to its budget, it would be 20 years before another CREEPSHOW installment was released. In 2007, CREEPSHOW III arrived with no involvement from Romero, King or Savini and features a largely forgettable cast and crew. In fact, Savini calls 1990's TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE – which features a Romero-penned segment originally intended for the second CREEPSHOW – the "real" CREEPSHOW 3.

But we'll tackle both those flicks another time... kiddies! – Dan Taylor

CREEPSHOW II was recently released on Blu-Ray and is available from Amazon.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT (NIGHT II): Oh Brewster, You Used to Be SO COOL

The original FRIGHT NIGHT – 1985's charming horror comedy that lovingly and lightly spoofed the horror genre while also telling a crackling vampire tale – is one of my favorite flicks of its era. Oh sure, it gets lost in the shuffle amidst my love for the likes of RE-ANIMATOR, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH, PHANTASM II, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, DAY OF THE DEAD, LIFEFORCE and JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY (seriously... I totally dig that flick!) but who doesn't love watching Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall) battle charming, but deadly, vampire-next-door Jerry Dandrige (Chris Sarandon)?

So why did it take me 25 years to track down its sequel?

All the elements were there for me to jump on board: original stars McDowall and William Ragsdale (Charlie Brewster) were back; HALLOWEEN III helmer Tommy Lee Wallace was in the director's chair; and, though Sarandon was absent, the cast included faces like Jon Gries, Brian Thompson and Johnny Slash himself, Merritt Butrick, in one of his final roles.

Picking up three years after the original, Charlie and Peter have both moved on from FRIGHT NIGHT's horrific events, though not without consequences. Vincent is still hosting the weekly chiller show 'Fright Night' while Charlie is attending college and dating new gal pal Alex (Traci Lind). But while Vincent has adopted the role of believer, Charlie – thanks to extensive therapy – has accepted rational explanations for the events that led to the deaths of Dandridge and his victims.

But all it takes for Charlie to fall back into his paranoid "monsters among us" ways is for him to spy the arrival of vampiress Regine (Julie Carmen) and her entourage of fellow vampires (Russell Clark and Gries) and an insect-munching chaeuffer/familiar (Thompson). Faster than you can say "hey, um, haven't we seen this all before?" Charlie is being hunted by Regine, Vincent is arming himself to battle the undead, a good pal is being turned and... yawn.

Though I'm never against making the same movie over and over again (see 13TH, FRIDAY THE), the lack of wit and charm means FRIGHT NIGHT II has nothing to compensate for the overwhelming feeling of sameness. Oh sure, the flick's fans will point to things like the roller-skating vampire or the bowling alley scene, but every 80s horror flick worth a damn had some kind of loopy price-of-admission sequence. FRIGHT NIGHT II has a couple, but what surrounds them is pretty tedious.

This certainly feels like one of those instances where a film's inaccessibility – both the VHS and DVD are long out of print – has created a cult it scarcely deserves. – Dan Taylor

FRIGHT NIGHT II is available from Amazon.

Get Ready for Halloween with Our DVD Clearance

Looking to bulk up your Halloween viewing list? Need even more frightfully good sinema to add to your shelves?

Then be sure to check out our recently launched Dan's Funky Finds ebay store. We'll be adding original movie posters plus tons of zines and vintage mags in the coming months (including about 20 years of 60s/70s/80s PLAYBOY) but right now we're unloading gently used and new DVD and Blu-Ray titles.

Current items for sale and auction include:

• MASTERS OF HORROR 10 Episode Lot featuring 9 DVDs worth of installments from directors like Tom Holland, Larry Cohen, John Landis and Dario Argento
• SLASHER, a 2010 "kids in the woods" horror throwback from Unearthed Films
• The three-disc unrated collector's edition of Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN reboot
• Anchor Bay's two-disc special edition of the greatest film ever made
• A double bill Blu-Ray featuring FREDDY'S REVENGE and THE DREAM WARRIORS, two of my fave A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET sequels
• The frightfully fun BEST OF BARNABAS 'Dark Shadows' Collection
• And more

If you're not an ebay shopper many of these same titles (along with other cool finds) can be found at our Amazon storefront.

Don't miss out on our upcoming listings... "like" our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter for news about our latest finds and listings.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: Your Body is My Religion!

This review of Full Moon's disc for the long-awaited, highly-anticipated release of THE EVIL CLERGYMAN was supposed to appear last week during the Anthology-Athon. Alas, real life got in the way and it wasn't till this morning that I was able to finally get my thoughts pulled together. Oh sure, reviewing it for the anthology block is a bit of a cheat but since the segment was originally shot for PULSEPOUNDERS I feel like I can get away with it.

I used to be somewhat obsessed with all things Empire.

What can I say? When a studio releases what immediately becomes your favorite movie of all-time you become a fan. Going to the theater to see everything they put out. Immediately renting the flicks you loved or the ones that bypassed town in favor of a quickie theatrical release in NYC. It was a love affair.

The love affair with Empire flicks was frequently reignited when the big issues of Variety would hit the newsstands. Tied into industry events like Cannes or the American Film Market, the thick issues were a "must have" and I'd fritter away hours pouring through the pages trying to glean whatever details I could about upcoming flicks from all the studios, but especially Empire (and the Go-Go Boys at Cannon).

I can still remember the full-page announcement ad for PULSEPOUNDERS, Empire's "upcoming" entry in the then-popular anthology genre. It seemed like a genius idea from the mind of Charles Band: three segments, each a sequel to or logical offshoot of one of the studio's biggest hits of 1985. There would be a sequel to THE DUNGEONMASTER (itself an anthology of sorts), a continuation of the heroic adventures of future cop Jack Deth from TRANCERS, and, most importantly (for me, at least), a return to H.P. Lovecraft territory with THE EVIL CLERGYMAN, complete with RE-ANIMATOR stars Jeffrey Combs, David Gale and the lovely Barbara Crampton.

And so we waited. And waited. And waited. Every now and then a PULSEPOUNDRES still or news would trickle out but that was about it. Releases like FROM BEYOND, DOLLS and ENEMY TERRITORY kept me sated but it wasn't long before Empire's impressive average started to slide and PULSEPOUNDERS retreated into the dark recesses of my mind, emerging from the brain muck every now and then for me to ponder whatever happened to the flick.

Like most fans, I assumed that the end of Empire and Charles Band's subsequent move to Full Moon meant that PULSEPOUNDERS was lost forever, a myth to chat about on film boards and at hotel bars during conventions.

As it turns out, PULSEPOUNDERS wasn't swept away or left unfinished because Band was too busy making horrible vampire and puppet movies. As the producer/director explains in the featurette included on the long-awaited DVD release of THE EVIL CLERGYMAN, the original negative for the film was lost when one of the labs the studio used went out of business and it wasn't until 20+ years later – when a VHS work print was found – that wheels were set in motion for PULSEPOUNDERS to finally see the light of day.

Even if it is one segment at a time.

Besides Combs, Crampton and Gale, CLERGYMAN reunites us with composer Richard Band (who contributes a lush and romantically sinister new score), cinematographer Mac Ahlberg and scribe Dennis Paoli, who once again gets to indulge in the sexual side of Lovecraft with this atmospheric tale.

A young woman (Crampton) visits the castle room where she and her clergyman lover (Combs) consummated their illicit relationship – before he hanged himself. Left alone to gather her things, she soon finds herself being warned by a bishop (David Warner) that her lover was evil and simply wants to possess her soul. (And who can blame him?) It isn't long before the gropey clergyman returns, gets all handsey and is laying it on thick with lines like "your body is my religion". (Again, can you blame him?)

Relying heavily on atmosphere, THE EVIL CLERGYMAN isn't a wild, occasionally gross ride like RE-ANIMATOR or FROM BEYOND. The 30-minute segment is – David Gale's rat suit by John Carl Beuchler aside – largely effects-free and more akin to the Lovecraft adaptations of NIGHT GALLERY or MASTERS OF HORROR with a dash of the atmosphere we'd later see in Stuart Gordon's CASTLE FREAK (an underrated Combs/Crampton outing).

Combs' snarky smirk is put to good use as the love 'em and leave 'em sinister minister who has left a trail of crazed and dead chicks in his wake. And nobody does "hot and kinda crazy" like Crampton, who shifts effortlessly from demure to sexy in no time.

Kudos to Full Moon for rescuing PULSEPOUNDERS from the trash heap and releasing it to the fans. Naturally, given the source material, the image quality isn't great but this is a rare opportunity to see a flick that was long thought to be lost forever.

The disc is currently a Full Moon exclusive and includes a featurette from the CLERGYMAN premiere earlier this year as well as 60-seconds of work print footage from TRANCERS 1.5 starring Tim Thomerson, Helen Hunt and Art LeFleur in a tale scripted by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo. Full Moon anticipates that disc being ready for October 2013.

THE EVIL CLERGYMAN is available exclusively from Full Moon Direct.

31 DAYS OF FRIGHT: She's Popping 'Em Out Like Pez Candy!

Don't make me turn in my Horrordad Membership Card, but I wasn't aware that BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGENY even existed until I received a press release about the new Synapse DVD. I've never been what you would call a "huge" fan of the BASKET CASE series, though I have fond memories of sitting in the kitchen having breakfast while radio ads encouraged me to come see the original at the Budco Millside - though my coupon-clipping, bargain-hunting Mom was unimpressed that I could get a free surgical mask to keep the blood off my face.

But renting BASKET CASE was a right of passage back in those early days of video store memberships. Seems like every high schooler would rent the tape - along with BLOODSUCKING FREAKS, THE EVIL DEAD and THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE -and then come to school or swim team practice babbling about the craziness they'd witnessed.

And BASKET CASE was pretty crazy. Duane (Kevin Van Hentenryck) and his mutant twin Belial (surely one of horror's oddest icons) are surgically separated as teens but maintain a powerful psychic bond. The pair travel from their small-town home to NYC where they exact revenge on the doctors who separated them, with Belial emerging from his basket every now and then to kill other folks.

In an era where HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13th dominated the horror scene, a gory, sleazy, batshit crazy, shoe-string-budgeted flick like BASKET CASE was a revelation, and writer/director Frank Henenlotter's projects quickly became must-see for sleaze film fans. BASKET CASE 2 followed a few years later, with the twins reuniting with the aunt who raised them (Annie Ross) in an effort to escape their newfound - and unwanted - celebrity. I recall that flick featuring less of Henenlotter's black humor with more emphasis placed on the horror and gore; a natural, if not altogether welcome, progression.

BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGENY picks up where the second film ended with Duane and Belial still in the care of Granny Ruth, though her daughter Susan has been accidentally killed in a fall from a window. Belial's tryst with mutant Eve (Denise Coop) has resulted in a pregnancy that forces Granny (Ross again) to pack up her busload of mutants and head south so that sympathetic doc Uncle Hal (Dan Biggers) can perform the delivery. A run-in with the local sheriff (Gil Roper), his sexy daughter Opal (Tina Louise Hilbert) and some dimwitted, money-hungry deputies results in bloody mayhem as Belial attacks the police station to rescue his babies and faces off against the sheriff mano-a-mutant.

If anything, BASKET CASE 3 takes the craziness of the first two installments and amps it up, creating an offbeat alternate reality filled with mutants of all shapes and sizes and the "normals" who love or fear them (or, in Duane's case, a bit of both). Van Hentenryck pulls off a particularly fun performance, delivering many of the film's funniest lines during rambling, schizophrenic asides. The best scene, though, belongs to Little Hal (Jim O'Doherty), a giant, multi-limbed mutant genius who emits hysterical rapid-fire running commentary during Eve's gooey, bloody birth scene.

While watching the flick I couldn't help but think of THE TOXIC AVENGER, CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH and STREET TRASH, all of which were surely influenced by Henenlotter's particular brand of black-comedy-meets-horror-sleaze. Though BASKET CASE 3 isn't among my favorite Henenlotter efforts, its 90-minute running time delivers plenty of cheap laughs, slimy pre-CGI gore and the most mutants this side of NIGHTBREED.

BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGENY will be released on video October 9. You can pre-order the title at Amazon.

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