Friday, February 17, 2017


Combine desperation with boredom, mix in a Netflix account, and you're liable to make the same viewing mistakes I make on a nightly basis. Granted, not every film I watch is a flush-worthy turd, but more often than not a night on Netflix ends with me disappointed and annoyed with myself for not having better sense. Yes, a one-star film MIGHT just be a hidden gem. More often than not, however, they turn out to be like MOST LIKELY TO DIE.

It's been ten years since high school graduation and you know what that means: reunion time! Before heading to the reunion proper, a group of friends decide to meet up at Ray's (Jason Tobias) house for a little pre-reunion fun. Upon arriving, they discover Ray is missing and his ditzy blonde girlfriend, Ashley (Skylar Vallo) has been murdered – and the murderer is still on the loose! Could it be Ray himself, who's snapped after the Rangers kicked him off the hockey team? Or is it some guy whom the group used to torment back in high school?

Watching MOST LIKELY TO DIE, I couldn't help but wonder why this film was even made. Slasher films are supposed to be all about watching death fodder get offed, right? Yes. But MOST LIKELY TO DIE finds that boring. Instead, the bulk of the 80-minute runtime is comprised of characters we don't care about talking about problems we don't care about. Every so often the killer will pop up and off someone to keep viewers from falling asleep. It's like a John Hughes film crossed with FRIDAY THE 13TH. I'll give the film credit for at least fleshing out the death fodder, but let's be honest here: we watch slasher films to see idiots get killed, not because we're in the mood for drama and characterization that, ultimately, goes nowhere.

But all is not lost: we get Jake Busey, who buys the farm the minute the check clears, and is here to add name value and whose character adds absolutely nothing to the proceedings aside from a voyeuristic act which gives the audience a brief glimpse of ass and titties. And we get a slasher who utilizes a creative weapon: a mortarboard concealing a razor-sharp instrument – which he does little with except slit throats. But at least we get one brutal kill which I'll spoil for you so you don't have to watch the movie: he slits a girl's throat, then tears off her head. Fun.

MOST LIKELY TO DIE is most likely gonna remind you of your years in high school, assuming they were like mine: boring, depressing, uninspiring and a waste of time. If your high school years were better, the same descriptors still apply. Give MOST LIKELY TO DIE a wide berth. In fact, forget it exists. – Evan Romero

Evan Romero is a regular contributor to the pages of ER (including our mammoth 30th anniversary issue available from our website) and spends much of his time reading morally questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined). His short story “Touch” was recently published in REJECTED FOR CONTENT 5: SANITARIUM. You can read more of his reviews at or at He last wrote about NIGHTBEAST.

MOST LIKELY TO DIE is available from Amazon.

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