Tuesday, December 29, 2015


Hello and happy holidays, dear readers! It's hard to believe that Christmas has already passed us by and the end of 2015 will be here in just a couple days. I'm hoping that Santa or Krampus brought you everything your evil little hearts desired this holiday season. Me? I got a nasty case of bronchitis that I should completely shake just in time for the return to work and school. Yay. But the good news is that work continues on issue 53 and our review stack is teetering to the point that I'm happy to welcome another reviewer to the fold. Please welcome Evan Romero and hope that he sticks around despite me sticking him with a dog like CAESAR AND OTTO'S PARANORMAL HALLOWEEN right off the bat. Take it away, Evan...

I'm just gonna come out and say it straight: This. Movie. Sucks.

What movie you ask? Why, it's CAESAR AND OTTO'S PARANORMAL HALLOWEEN, a parody horror flick that forgot the main ingredient in a parody: the humor. A little bit of research on IMDb reveals that this is the THIRD full-length Caesar and Otto horror spoof flick. Now, I can't speak about the other two because I've never seen them, but just who in the hell gave this movie the greenlight and what were they smoking? Obviously nothing good if they thought this was worthy of production.

Oh... it was produced by director / writer / star Dave Campfield's own Fourth Horizon Cinema. Well, that explains a lot.

Anyways, after dressing in drag and stopping crazed killer Michael Myles, Otto (Paul Chomicki) and Caesar (Dave Campfield, also writer and director) are asked by Governor Jerry Grayson (Ken MacFarlane) to watch over his summer home for him while he's away (even though he never leaves). Joined by their father Fred (Scott Aguilar), they go to the house and meet some of the people living therein. While there, strange things start to happen for the sole purpose of parodying (and failing) famous horror films like THE SHINING, THE EXORCIST, POLTERGEIST, HALLOWEEN, THE CONJURING, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY and God knows what else. There's also some bullshit plot threads about Otto discovering his mother being alive as well as Governor Grayson declaring martial law and Caesar attempting to write a screenplay, but those just seem to be there for failed attempts at humor/parody.

The film seems to think that parody is little more than taking a trope and doing something dumb with it. But it forgets that successful parodies need to be clever and intelligent, neither of which this film is though it likes to THINK it is.

Let me give you some examples of the "comedy" on display here:
  • In one scene, Otto is skateboarding down a hallway and is confronted by twin women (Brinke Stevens). They tell him, "Come play with us, Otto"-flash to scene of them lying dead in the hallway covered in blood-"forever"-flash again with a cymbal crash-"and ever"-flash again with a cartoonish car horn-"and ever"-flash again to women having been replaced by a rubber duck complete with quacking sound. Otto agrees to play with them-and they sit and play video games. When they disappear, they take his wallet (a gag used twice and isn't funny either time). Ho ho.
  • Or, how about two priests trying to educate another in what Frisbee is. It's not funny for the first 5 seconds, and it's not funny for the remaining 45 seconds.
  • Or, how about when Fred is getting irritated with Otto and Caesar for arguing in the car, threatens to jump out of the moving vehicle, and then does so. Hardy-fricken-har!
  • How about another parody of THE SHINING? They parody the "give me the bat" scene which ends with Otto handing over the bat and Caesar suggesting they go outside and hit some balls. Hahaha – not!
  • Another scene involves a screenwriting professor who appears and tells Caesar everything that is wrong with his romantic comedy/horror script. Everything the professor says about Caesar's script can be applied to this movie. Of course the gag isn't funny and reeks of desperation, but I have to applaud the film for crapping on itself.
But I have to give credit where credit is due. And that credit goes to Scott Aguilar. He's the only one whose line deliveries/antics conjure a mild chuckle. In fact, most of the time he's on screen I was guaranteed at least one. He's basically doing the best he can with the lame material given. And the film DOES have one really funny bit (at least to me). At a Halloween party, Fred tells Caesar that the best way to drink wine is to drink it real fast. He then proceeds to down the bottle while Caesar quips, "You might wanna put AA on your speed dial." I actually laughed at that one and made the fatal mistake of thinking that the movie gets better. It doesn't.

Oh, you DO get a shot of some nice tits. So that's a bonus.

But real horror comes at the end when another Caesar and Otto horror spoof movie is threatened. Cinema Gods, do NOT let this happen!

The DVD includes director commentary, cast and crew commentary, gag reel (just as unfunny as the movie), the Son of Piggyzilla trilogy (three unfunny shorts about a giant guinea pig), a short look behind-the-scenes (useless), a tribute to the late Robert Z'Dar (the best bit on here), and some other crap.

I'd been looking forward to watching this when I received it, hoping to have another horror/comedy to add to my list of good ones. As you can see it won't be going on that list. But at least the disc will make an excellent coaster. – Evan Romero

Evan Romero spends much of his time reading morally-questionable books and watching movies no sane person would touch. He is the vocalist/bassist for the (currently) two man punk band Porno Holocaust (you can find them on Facebook and listen to some demos if you’re inclined) and is currently working on getting his own website/blog, Reel Atrocities (dedicated to reviews of horror, exploitation, and schlocky films), up and running.


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