Wednesday, March 08, 2006


As a college hoops junkie I was happy to see UNC coach Roy Williams win a national title last year. But the real highlight of the tournament may have been listening to cementheads like Jim Nantz and other CBS announcers read promos for SPRING BREAK SHARK ATTACK, the most FOX-tastic made-for-TV-movie ever shown on The Tiffany Network.

OC-castaway Shannon Lucio stars as Danielle, a young gal who ignores her father's wishes and decides to attend spring break with a couple gal pals. There she meets bad boy partyer TJ (Justin Baldoni) and Shane, the good, hard-working local (Riley Smith). Bryan Brown and Kathy Baker round out the cast and the network's obligatory older demo quota.

What could have been an unwatchable piece of nature-run-amok trash turned out to be a highly entertaining piece of nature-run-amok trash, with healthy-lunged teens being turned into snack food by not one, not two, not ten, but what seemed like hundreds of hungry sharks. Good stuff.

Along the way we get a date rape drug plotline that feels like it was lifted from a leftover 90210 script and Lucio's odd ability to get hotter as the situation gets more dire.

I'm glad to see SBSA getting a long-overdue DVD release, but I wish we were getting any kind of bonus features like a commentary track. Ah well, I'm just happy this slice of trash is getting released... period.

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