BIGFOOT VS D.B COOPER (2014) directed by David DeCoteau

As a child of the 1970s, tales of Bigfoot and the search for D.B. Cooper were among my earliest pop culture memories, sparking lifelong interests in cryptozoology, urban legends and true crime tales. So, it would be only natural for me to zero in on the awesome-sounding BIGFOOT VS. D.B. COOPER while trawling for a quick watch while I made dinner. Plus, Eric Roberts!!

Set on the day before Thanksgiving in November of 1971, BIGFOOT VS... relates the tale of Bernie (Jordan Rodriguez), a young hunter who heads off into the woods to bag some turkeys for the family holiday feast. It must have been a hot November day as Bernie, decked out in shorts and little else, hikes through the Pacific Northwest, his chiseled features and tight abs glistening in the late autumn sun.

And he hikes... and hikes... and glistens... and hikes. As a hairy figure shadows his movements through the woods, Bernie eventually arrives at a "hunting lodge" he assumes will be abandoned, only to encounter a half-dozen or so shirtless dudes sitting around hoisting beers, toasting one pal's impending marriage. (Right.) And cue the "Directed by David DeCoteau" credit as Bernie gets invited in for a beer before they all head off for some shirtless turkey hunting.

It's at this point that you are more than welcome to fast forward through the next 45 minutes as the shirtless, shorts-clad dudes go to their respective rooms (complete with the flat screen TVs that were so popular in 1971), strip down to their boxer briefs and pose in front of the mirror with their guns, both the bicep and bang-bang variety.

Remembering that the name "D.B. Cooper" is in the title, DeCoteau occasionally weaves in details from Cooper's true tale of airline piracy, complete with the note to the stewardess (voiced by Linnea Quigley), a briefcase bomb and even the pilot informing the hijacker that the route from Seattle-Tacoma Airport toward Mexico City would require an additional fueling stop. (In other words, somebody read the Wikipedia page.) Alas, these dramatic retellings are but brief moments of exposition between more showering, hiking and talk of 'Nam from our barely-clad bachelors who appear to have traveled back in time from 2014 thanks to the "who gives a f**k?" attempts at wardrobe and, well, pretty much everything.

Eventually, our titular characters do collide, with DeCoteau and screenwriter Harvey Shaiman providing a wonderfully hysterical solution to both the riddle of Bigfoot and the mystery surrounding the disappearance of DB Cooper. If you like your exploitation flicks light on blood but heavy on boxer-clad hunks toting around rifles and doing sit-ups, well, head to Amazon posthaste. Personally, I demand a Jim Wynorski-lensed remake entitled HOT TUB BIGFOOT VS DOUBLE-D BEA COOPER.

As for the top-billed Roberts, his role is limited to narrating the tale as "Older Bernie", which I can only assume was done during catering breaks while filming DeCoteau's vastly superior MAGIC PUPPY (2012) aka THE GREAT HALLOWEEN PUPPY ADVENTURE. – Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media. Check out our 130-page 30th Anniversary Issue featuring horror anthologies, mens action novels, video store oddity THE JAR and much more. Available at Amazon, CreateSpace, ebay and the ER website.

BIGFOOT VS DB COOPER is available from Amazon.

Yowie! It's THROWBACK (2014) Thursday!

This 2014 Australian horror-comedy was a frustrating affair. While at times it's a suspenseful monster movie, at other times it is so inept and dumbed down that it made me want to pull out what precious remaining hairs I have on my head! THROWBACK tries way too hard to be a fast-moving comedic horror film, but all it really does is annoy the viewer with its repetition, lack of scope, and (at times) its jarring edits. Those edits are made to try and create (unsuccessfully) a witty, non-linear story structure. When the film ultimately succeeds is during the last forty-five minutes or so, after it becomes a concentrated hunt and stalk picture. Until, that is, a weak, uninspired ending eliminates any hope at redemption.

Weekend warriors Jack (Shane Brack) and Kent (Anthony Ring) set out to find the treasure of Thunderclap Newman, a notorious bandit in the 1800's who had suddenly "fallen off the Earth" as one character puts it. The two men search the area and stumble upon the treasure, instantly driving Kent into gold fever as he attempts to kill Jack by drowning him in a creek. Jack, who appears to be an expert at holding his breath, escapes when Kent is distracted by some large and hairy thing stalking him. Jack runs through the dense woods until he finds a female park ranger named Rhiannon (Melanie Serafin) and drops the treasures into the water for safe keeping. And thus starts a repetitious cycle with Kent stalking, capturing and attempting to make Jack reveal where he hid the money, and Jack and Rhiannon's numerous narrow escapes from both Kent and the Yowie (an Australian Bigfoot-type creature).

The review copy I received had an issue around the forty-minute mark where the film played the last four minutes over again and abruptly entered a different scene already in progress. The great Vernon Wells (THE ROAD WARRIOR, COMMANDO) is in the movie for less than ten minutes, playing a detective named McNab, who is investigating the area because nine people had vanished. And he figures a serial killer was at work... in this vast, vast wilderness? McNab finds Kent wandering through the woods with a bloody pocket knife (he used it to fend off the Yowie) and, thinking him the killer, handcuffs the the deranged Kent to a fallen tree.

Being a fan and longtime viewer of Spaghetti Westerns, I see some similarities in the uses of gold as a motivator and the effects of gold fever, as well as the crosses and double crosses that abounded throughout the movie. The actors are all competent, but they are never given enough to work with. Characters repeatedly running into each other in the vast wilderness is incomprehensible and the continual stumbling onto things at convenient times also grows a bit tiresome. The characters of Jack and Melanie work well together, but there is no connection; they aren't put through enough together onscreen, nor do they bond well enough to make us care about them together or individually, and neither is in the least bit sexual in nature. The horror is rather lame and the bloodshed is minimal, leaving the action to revolve around the actors, who do the best they can with the inept script and story line. Most of the cast and director Travis Bain – aside from Vernon Wells – only have a few credits to their names.

THROWBACK misses its mark, but not by much. Had the script been a bit stronger and the plausibility less disconcerting, then the film could have been a decent little monster movie. The Yowie would have been an interesting mythological character to explore, but as depicted, the creature has very little menace to it and was never ferocious enough to make the horror impactful.

THROWBACK reminded me of some of those inept "killer in the woods" movies, like THE FOREST (1982), DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1981) and NIGHT OF THE DEMON (1980) thanks to its setting and the stalking killer aspect (be it human or, in NIGHT's case, bestial). This film is another of those homage films; it even has Jack and Kent toast from a bottle of spirits called "Boggy Creek Vineyards".

In closing, THROWBACK never decides what it wants to be and for that indecision the film suffers considerably; it has too many "easy outs" of situations to create a successful motion picture. The film was beautifully shot and the actors really try their hardest to make this endeavor congeal, but it's not enough to overcome the aforementioned defects. For me, THROWBACK could never find that balance between horror and comedy that some films find, which makes for an unbalanced, directionless, lost in the woods affair! – Mike Hauss

Michael Hauss lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with his daughter and their cat Rotten Ralph. He has had reviews and articles published in Monster, Weng’s Chop, We Belong Dead, Divine Exploitation and Multitude Movies and is a regular contributor to the blogs Theater of Guts and Spaghetti Western Database. His work can also be found in the books 70s Monster Memories and Unsung Horrors.

THROWBACK is available from Amazon.

ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH (2009)

I loves me some sasquatch/bigfoot/yeti pop culture. Whether its Lance Henriksen and his team tromping through the Pacific Northwest to rescue his missing daughter in the underrated SASQUATCH (aka THE UNTOLD), Paul Naschy channeling his inner werewolf to battle the abominable snowman in NIGHT OF THE HOWLING BEAST (aka WEREWOLF VS THE YETI), or even a beer, comic or toy inspired by the mythical beasties, you say the word and I'm there.

So when ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH showed up in my mailbox it went right to the top of the "Dan" review pile. And I know what you're saying. You took one look at that box and you said to yourself, "Wow, they're trying to make it look like ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13... but with Bigfoot."

Guess what? It is ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 WITH BIGFOOT! And I loved every last minute of it!

While some redneck poachers are out bagging game they accidentally stumble onto the elusive sasquatch, subdue it and get it into their Poacher Mobile. The hastily-hatched plan has grizzled leader Drake (Kevin Shea complete with eyepatch and a persona that channels the likes of Tom Atkins, Lee Van Cleef, George Carlin and James Coburn) getting in touch with a big game collector client who would love to add the cryptozoology find to his game preserve.

Unfortunately, a couple nearby small-town cops nab them at their nocturnal hunting and decided to haul them and their cargo back to a nearby precinct that's under renovation. A train wreck down by the river has the precinct's already small staff stretched thin, so when the sasquatch escapes from the van and begins his titular assault on the precinct it's time for ex-big-city cop Ray (Greg Nutcher) to step up and help his old pals and new enemies hold down the fort.

Naturally, there are some unfortunate details complicating matters, including Ray's college-aged daughter Jess (Sarah Ahearn) stopping by to pick up the car from her over-protective pop, the appearance of a convict whose brother was killed by Ray after a botched home invasion... at Ray's house (!), and a pair of Bigfoot nerds who follow and videotape the hairy beast as he spies on busty Latinos and stomps the occasional chihuahua.

The highest praise I can pay ASSAULT is that it reminds me of THEY BITE from Brett Piper. More entertaining than it has any right to be, ASSAULT (like THEY BITE and MANSQUITO) finds just the right balance of no-budget exploitation inventiveness, gory effects and crazy humor. Don't be fooled by the no-name cast and improbably high-concept, um, concept.

ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH delivers far more than it promises... and then some! This is one viewer who is definitely looking forward to BANSHEE from the same folks. Check out trailers of both films below.





ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH is available for purchase from Amazon. You can read this review and hundreds more like it at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

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