Monday, June 05, 2006

New Seagal Film Released 6-6-06... Coincidence?


Since everybody's making a big deal about tomorrow being 6-6-06 (get it, 666?) I thought I'd chime in for a minute. Sure, Joan Jett's first new album in about a decade is being released via iTunes tomorrow, the horrible looking new OMEN movie is coming out, the people of Hell (Michigan) are taking advantage of their 24 hours of fame, and that crazy lady I mentioned last week doesn't want her baby born tomorrow lest it be... EVIL!

But, all those things aside, let's get right to another, perhaps even scarier, event: The release of yet another Steven Seagal direct-to-video actioner. According to NetFlix, SHADOW MAN sounds just like any of the other half dozen or more DTV flicks Big Steve has been sentenced to recently:

This potent action thriller stars Steven Seagal as Jack Foster, an ex-spy drawn into a maze of international intrigue to rescue his 8-year-old daughter. During a trip to Romania after his wife's tragic death, Jack's daughter, Amanda (Skye Bennett), is inexplicably abducted. As he scours Bucharest for the girl, the authorities and Russian operatives -- believing Jack possesses a microchip with the formula for a deadly virus -- are on his trail.

As a recovering Seagal Completist these flicks just make me sad. I remember a day when a new flick from Big Steve, even a laughable dud like FIRE DOWN BELOW (Steve fights evil men out to kill hillbillies in a near remake of his own ON DEADLY GROUND which featured Steve fighting evil men out to kill Eskimos) or HALF PAST DEAD (his last theatrical foray, circa 2002) was met with at least some enthusiasm by this fan. These days, the appearance of these cookie-cutter cable flicks is just sad.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

These ubiquitous shot in Eastern Europe sagas are getting very tiresome, I agree. Like Van Damme and Snipes and Lundgren, Seagal is relegated to the DVD racks at Blockbuster and Best Buy. And it's sad, because, in many of these films, there is the hint of a return to form, a kind of cheesy greatness. Unfortunatly, more often than not, it fast deteriorates into a miasma of broken English and obvious stunt doubles.

Dan said...

I was talking with a film critic friend and he said that Seagal is still a draw overseas and gets several million to make these duds. I put the brakes on my Seagal Completist phase after watching SUBMERGED on USA one night. I'm almost positive he didn't loop his own dialogue and he looks as puffy, red-faced and horrific as ever.

IL said...

And he cancelled his Chiller Theatre Expo appearance in NJ this past weekend. Unbelievable.
IL

Dan said...

Did he really? I couldn't believe he was going to do it in the first place. Wow... sure glad I didn't make plans to go.