THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE BARN! (2023) starring Martin Starr

After his uncle dies in a bizarre accident, Bill (Martin Starr) moves his family to Norway (?!) with dreams of turning the inherited property into a bed & breakfast. Upon arrival, his son discovers that the grounds are inhabited by a “barn elf” that will leave you alone if you follow a specific set of rules. Naturally, the family breaks the rules and, well, mayhem ensues. 

Despite a fun premise that initially had me giddy with gore-soaked anticipation, BARN doesn’t know what the hell it wants to be. Is it a comedy? Is it a bloody holiday horror? Unfortunately, it tries to be both and succeeds at being neither. 

Though there are some inspired bits, the whole thing runs way too long (no movie about murderous barn elves should be longer than 85 minutes), and if I have to see one more flick about a blended family where the step-parent needs to connect with a distant teen I’m going to turn into a murderous barn elf myself. 

Totally worth a background watch while you’re getting wasted on that eggnog your brother makes with lighter fluid, but not much better than that. — Dan Taylor

Dan Taylor is the editor/publisher of Exploitation Retrospect and he loves him some DON'T OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS.