31 Days of Fright!: 5th Annual Exhumed Horrorthon Roundup

Here's a list of the flicks shown at this weekend's Fifth Annual Exhumed Films 24 Hour Horrorthon (otherwise known as My Favorite Weekend of the Year). Taking their cues from this past spring's successful eXFest, the Horrorthon featured 13 films that had never been shown by Exhumed at any of their regular screenings or marathons as well as an uncut UK print of a film they had shown before.

Personally, I think that made this year's lineup tougher for them to put together because without having screened a lot of these with a crowd you just never know how they'll play with a large group of fans with diverse tastes. The complete list is below (sans trailers and shorts shown between films) along with some brief thoughts and a rating on a scale of 1 to 10.

THE DEATH WHEELERS aka PSYCHOMANIA (7/10)
I'd never seen this trippy 1973 British motorcycle zombie flick until it came out on DVD a year or so ago. (Read full review here.) Not your typical living dead, these re-animated bikers pretty much look the same as they did when alive but they can't be killed. Every time I watch it I can't help but think it's like what the gang at Monty Python would have done had they made a horror flick instead of their take on Camelot.

RODAN (6/10)
It's probably been 35 or more years since I last saw this 1956 giant reptiles attack monster flick. Was hoping for more of a giant monster/Godzilla stomp-a-thon but to RODAN's credit it zips along and never drags.

FRIGHTMARE (8/10)
Not to be confused with Peter Walker's 1974 film that's often found under this name (and I recently picked received on DVD), this version is all 80s all the time, complete with skinny ties, new wave haircuts and future RE-ANIMATOR star Jeffrey Combs as a member of a horror film society that steals the body of a recently-deceased, homicidal faded horror film icon so they can party with him. When the vengeful film star is brought back to life he sets about dispatching his one time fans. Reminded me a bit of CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS.

HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER (Incomplete)
I thought this one an odd choice for a group Halloween horrorthon, but HENRY proved to be the perfect opportunity to go to Wawa and grab a bite for dinner. I'd seen HENRY once before and its depressing, nihilism wasn't something I was in a big rush to experience again. We sat back down just in time for the home invasion "screening" and finale and even from watching that portion you're reminded of the flick's powerful punch and the captivating performance by Michael Rooker.

THE DEAD (7/10)
The fest's only digital projection due to a last minute decision by the distributor to not send a 35mm print, this was also the only flick we knew was playing ahead of time. An upscale version of the "zombies have overrun Africa" flicks that I've enjoyed for so long from the likes of Fulci, Mattei and even the RESIDENT EVIL makers. This one certainly has a more polished feel to it but the way the film is structured makes it more predictable than I'd hoped and the ending is telegraphed early in the film. Still, I'm always happy to see a tense, well acted zombie flick on the big screen.

TRICK OR TREAT (8/10)
Last (and initially) saw this film 25 years ago when visiting a friend at University of Dayton during our college days. I recall thinking it was sorta "meh" at the time but the years have been good to the flick and the irony with which its tale of metal misfits, backward masking and Satanic imagery can now be viewed only enriches the experience. Plus, it plays great with a crowd! The most pleasant surprise of the event.

NIGHT WARNING (9.5/10)
Dear Meryl Streep: Please return the Oscar you took home in 1982 for your role in SOPHIE'S CHOICE. You know, the one you stole from Susan Tyrell for her fearless, amazing turn as a homicidal, horny, incest-driven maniac out to protect Jimmy McNichol from sluts like the girl who played Stephanie on 'Newhart'. One of the single most un-PC flicks I've ever seen (thanks to Bo Svenson's turn as the world's most neanderthal, homophobic cop) this was the flick that blew my mind a la TEENAGE MOTHER, RAW FORCE, WICKED WICKED and BOARDING HOUSE from Horrorthons past. Amazing and an immediate buy when the DVD comes out.

FRANKENHOOKER (8/10)
Another trash classic I hadn't seen since the last gasp exploitation age of the early 90s, this one totally holds up thanks to a completely whacked out plotline, James Lorinz's inspired turn as Jeffrey Franken, exploding hookers, super crack and Patty Mullen as the post-surgery titular Frankenhooker. I probably jinxed myself at this point by texting that the event was going great and I couldn't wait to see what else was coming...

DECISION FOR DOOM aka DR BLACK, MR HYDE (6/10)
I'm not a huge blaxploitation fan so a middle of the night screening of this slooooooww 1976 riff on the Jekyll and Hyde tale may not have been the ideal viewing experience for me. Bernie Casey stars as a rich doc who grew up in a whorehouse. When he attempts to create a serum that regenerates dying liver cells he tests it out on himself... with unfortunate and murderous results.

LEGEND OF THE WOLF WOMAN (6/10)
A woman has recurring visions that she is a werewolf (and the photo of her lycanthropic ancestor that looks just like her doesn't help) so she has sex with men then rips their throats out. After escaping from a mental institution she finds happiness with a stuntman but the lovers are assaulted by a gang of thugs who kill him and rape her. After that it shifts gears into a revenge tale as she tracks down the men responsible. Might give this one another go some time but only because I have a soft spot for European werewolf flicks.

BLOOD DINER (1/10)
I hate BLOOD DINER. I've hated BLOOD DINER since I first saw it in the late 80s and, if possible, hate it even more now. Have never understood the appeal of its imbecilic, infantile sense of humor, horrible acting and wretched directing. When the best thing about your movie is a naked kung-fu scene I think it's safe to say your movie blows.

THE BURNING (6/10)
I loves me some slasher flicks but I've never been able to get a handle on the love for this boring, tension-free 1981 genre entry. It's your typical tale of Cropsey, a creepy caretaker who gets burned to a crisp by some asswipe campers who play a prank on the dude. When Cropsey's well enough to rejoin society he sets about killing a bunch of people who had absolutely nothing to do with his misfortune. Multiple viewings over the years have left me unimpressed by this one and this weekend's screening didn't do much to change my mind. Packed with a lot of familiar faces like Jason Alexander (who appears to be wearing a horrible toupee from the Jeremy Piven Collection despite the fact that he's 22), Fisher Stevens, Brian Backer, Leah Ayres, and a "really-she-was-in-this?" Holly Hunter.

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (2/10)
Tedious doesn't even begin to describe this directorial effort (and I do mean "effort") from Stephen King. Based on his short story "Trucks", the gaping-plot-hole-packed sci-fi/action/horror smodgepodge centers around a group of workers, travelers, truckers and locals trapped at a NC truck stop when the machines start acting independently. Well, not all the machines, just the ones convenient to the stupid plot. Emilio Estevez and Yeardley Smith lead a cast that will have you cheering for the trucks. The longest 97 minutes I've spent in a long, long time.

MEET THE FEEBLES (Incomplete)
When you're holding out hope that the "jaw-droppingly ridiculous/gory/offensive/just-plain-wrong" cult flick set to conclude the event is going to be BLOODSUCKING FREAKS and it turns out to be MEET THE FEEBLES, well, you can probably understand why my enthusiasm for watching Peter Jackson's 1989 "adult" puppet show may not have been at its highest. I remember when videos of this flick were making the rounds back in the heyday of ER. I didn't like it then and the first 30 minutes of this viewing didn't sway me so with a long drive back home to Baltimore staring me in the face (after nearly 30 hours of being awake) we decided to ditch and hope for a visit from Ralphus and Sardu (perhaps) next time.

Kudos to the Exhumed Films guys who manage to pull off a show that runs smoothly and attempts to satisfy an audience with a very wide range of tastes!

BACK ISSUE #52 to Explore World of Bronze Age Mystery/Horror Comics

I was turned on to the existence of BACK ISSUE magazine and other TwoMorrows Publishing ventures thanks to ER contributor and Tomb It May Concern editor/publisher David Zuzelo. He was kind enough to send some issues my way earlier this year, knowing full well that I couldn't live without reading issue #49's exhaustive look at the world of Planet of the Apes comics.

I'm currently reading issue #50 which is a full-color look at the Bronze Age adventures of Batman and I think I'll probably be pre-ordering #52, news of which just crossed my desk.

Here's a quick description from the publisher:

BACK ISSUE #52 (84 pages, FULL-COLOR, $8.95) spotlights Mystery Comics of the Bronze Age! All-new interviews with artists BERNIE WRIGHTSON, SERGIO ARAGONÉS, GERRY TALAOC, and DC mystery writer LORE SHOBERG—and MARK EVANIER and DAN SPIEGLE discuss Scooby-Doo (Zoinks!). Plus: DC’s Horror Hosts and Ghosts, Charlton Comics’ chiller anthologies, and damsels of darkness Black Orchid and Madame Xanadu. Featuring art and/or commentary by TONY DeZUNIGA, MICHAEL Wm. KALUTA, VAL MAYERIK, DAVID MICHELINIE, MATT WAGNER, and more, with a rarely seen House of Mystery painting by Wrightson as the cover! Now in FULL COLOR! Edited by MICHAEL EURY.

Zoinks, indeed!

For more info you can check out a PDF preview of the issue or go to the website and pre-order the print and/or digital edition.

31 Days of Fright!: FLESH & BLOOD Delivers an Epic Hammer-Inspired Monster Mash

A few years ago I sat down and watched Hammer's late 60s/early 70s run of Frankenstein films and found myself transfixed by just how great the series was. While the company's influential and fun Dracula flicks eventually felt dated, gimmicky and repetitive, their Frankenstein cycle continually reinvented itself and – in my mind – reached its pinnacle with FRANKENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED (1969). Not just the best of an excellent series, DESTROYED is a fine example of just how smart, scary and great a horror film can be.

Though the good doctor still had some life in him, I was disappointed by how the series ended with DESTROYED's follow up, FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL (1974). Peter Cushing's creator didn't go out with a bang but a whimper, still stuck in the asylum at film's end, though steadfast in his desire to keep on experimenting.

In a few years John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN (1978) would change the horror film landscape radically and though often cut from similar cloth, the hulking, revenge-driven monsters of the Frankenstein flicks would find themselves taking a backseat to their slasher film brethren.

Fast forward to 2011 and I may finally be getting my wish to see the ol' Baron go out on a high note. This time, though, his sequel isn't coming to the big screen but drenched in four-color fear courtesy of the new comic series FLESH & BLOOD.

Written by Robert Tinnell and illustrated by Neil Vokes, FLESH & BLOOD: Book One (available from recently-minted horror comic publisher Monsterverse) is like the fevered monster mash that many a Hammer-watcher craved. While Universal never missed an opportunity to pit their box-office baddies against one another, Hammer steadfastly kept their mummies, vampires, wolfmen and reanimated monsters on their own separate cinematic paths. And while that vision made for focused (if a smidge rigid) silver screen outings, FLESH & BLOOD shows just how much action-packed horror fun was to be had by letting loose with these characters.

Not to spoil much of the joy to be had in the opening installment's fast and furious pages but let's just say that there's a plan to spring the good Baron and his new cellmate to help thwart a vampire scourge, multiple attacks by various beasties and monsters, and some swashbuckling that brought to mind what may be my favorite Hammer film of them all, CAPTAIN KRONOS: VAMPIRE HUNTER (1974).

Tinnell's story draws upon everything from monster lore to Hammer history (and I'd probably pick up even more of the references and sly nods were I better versed in both areas... damn you feeble brain!) while Vokes' panels seamlessly segue between sinister forces attacking pitchfork-wielding villagers, blood-soaked mayhem, two-fisted action and some of the most eye-poppingly eye-popping she-creatures to ever seduce a damsel.

As if this tale of mortals and monsters battling for our very existence wasn't enough, FLESH & BLOOD: Book One comes packed with an introduction from VIDEO WATCHDOG publisher Tim Lucas, a historical perspective on vampire cinema by Bruce Hallenback, an art gallery featuring work by Vokes, Adrian Salmon and Mike Oeming and even the first part of a Quatermass-esque tale called OPERATION SATAN (from Tinnell and artist Bob Hall). Whew!

Like previous collaborations with each other and others (THE BLACK FOREST, THE WICKED WEST, FACELESS, SIGHT UNSEEN, PARLIAMENT OF JUSTICE, THE LIVING AND THE DEAD), Tinnell and Vokes have delivered another blast of prose and graphics with pages that drip with their enthusiasm and love for all things horror. Not merely an homage to the days when the House of Hammer ruled the genre, FLESH & BLOOD is a fitting continuation of the sagas we never wanted to see end.

FLESH & BLOOD: Book One is available at Amazon.

We receive a small commission for purchases made through this blog. Thanks for your support!

The Fix is In! For the First Life or Death Ballgame in World Series History!

While shopping for men's adventure novels at the big local used book sale this spring I stumbled upon Don Kowet's The 7th Game, a 1977 paperback thriller from Dell. How could I not be hooked by a book whose cover featured a baseball with a burning fuse?! Throw in explosives and a gambling / kidnapping plotline and I was all in. Plus, I figured, with the Phillies poised to roll their way at least to the World Series it would make for a great post to coincide with their return to the Fall Classic that starts this evening.

Oops.

In The 7th Game, Jim Pallafox is a left-handed rookie pitcher for the Oakland Golds who has set the baseball world on fire. With the Golds in the World Series against the legendary New York Patriots, the club is relying on the red-haired, flame-throwing southpaw to anchor their attack in games 1, 4 and – if it goes that far – game 7. But what his teammates and the media don't know is that Pallafox is hiding a secret that will rope him into a big-money World Series fix with more than money on the line. The life of a 3-year-old girl hangs in the balance.

I'll admit that I'm no longer a big baseball fan by any stretch. I spent many days and nights watching and listening to the Phillies of the 1970s and early 80s with my Dad, but when the team of my youth was broken up by trades, free agency and retirement my interest in the game started to wane. That and the fact that the season is interminable, games have gotten longer, players switch teams like they change wives and, oh right, I have a life all contributed to my drifting from the "national pastime".

Though I was intrigued by The 7th Game's late 70s setting, Kowet paints a glum picture of what's going on behind-the-scenes at the ballpark: black and white ballplayers appear to be self-segregated and frequently at each others' throats; casual drug use (black players) and booze (white players) are rampant; when players aren't cheating on their wives with floozies they're using their friendship with stars to lure unsuspecting jail bait to their sleazy townhouses; and, the only real reason to own a team is for it to lose money so you can write it off against your real business ventures.

I'll pause while Abner Doubleday rolls over in his grave.

But I don't mind a picture of professional baseball that's probably fairly accurate for its time (I'll have to dig up a juicy, salacious tell-all from the era). Unfortunately, Kowet's book is laugh-out-loud funny, not only due to its half-baked tv-movie-of-the-week story, but also because of an avalanche of implausible plot points, hysterical descriptions and flimsy attempts at disguising franchises and people:

• Pallafox, a rookie, not only won 30 games during the regular season (30!) but also came out of the bullpen in the fifth game of the National League Championship Series to record the final out;
• Somehow, Pallafox – a rookie sensation who, I'll remind you, won 30 games (!) – has kept it secret that he has a three-year-old daughter from his college days;
• Golds owner Walter Kelly not only has a cozy relationship with the owner of a sleazy Vegas casino but also places a $500,000.00 bet on his team... to lose;
• The Golds' opponents in the Fall Classic are the legendary New York Patriots, a so-thinly-disguised version of the NY Yankees that Kowet doesn't even bother to come up with names besides Ruth, Gehrig and DiMaggio when describing the plaques that line the Patriots' stadium;
• and, a Golds player and his hypno-therapist (both with casino ties!) are brutally killed prior to the seventh game while enough signs point to Pallafox and/or the team's owner fixing the outcome of two games that even numbskull columnists are floating rumors of a fix in their columns!

Were The 7th Game simply implausible and outrageous it might have been a fun read. But, Kowet's style is so dry and bland – more befitting a non-fiction retelling of a post-season than a pulse-pounding thriller – that when the dull prose is occasionally livened with lines like "a groin-tingling spectrum of pulchritude", "As usual, Willie had a coven of svelte sex-witches in tow", or my favorite, "Up the plank-covered steps she went, her high heels rapping, she reflected, like ghost knuckles on a table at an eerie séance" they stick out like sore thumbs.

Naturally, The 7th Game couldn't be written today (especially since Bud Selig would probably send an army of suits to prevent the use of the names "World Series" and "St. Louis Cardinals"). So, from the standpoint of a pre-internet, pre-ESPN, pre-sports-talk-radio, pre-24-hour-news-cycle cultural time capsule it has its moments. (As I read the supposedly tension-packed description of Golds owner Walter Kelly placing a bet on his team to lose with Harry The Sleazy Casino Guy, I pondered just how long it would take that news to break on say, Sports by Brooks or Deadspin. Over or under three-and-a-half hours?) Oh yeah, I also enjoyed the fact that one of the "heroes" of the book is a freelance writer.

But if I really want to relive that era, back when baseball was still tenuously hanging on to its place as the nation's favorite sport, I'll dig out my trove of Phillies yearbooks and Larry Bowa baseball cards or blow the dust off the Strat-O-Matic box that's sitting in my attic.

Use Your Brain Before THEY Get It! Enter the ER Zombie Haiku Contest.

Got what it takes to write a funny, gross and/or creative Zombie Haiku?

Exploitation Retrospect has joined forces with Louis Fowler of Damaged Hearing/Damaged Viewing and Deadvida of Rigor Mortis to bring you the 2011 Zombie Haiku Contest. 

E-mail us your best, most creative, funniest, or grossest zombie-centric haiku by 11:59 PM Eastern on Thursday, October 27, 2011. Our panel of judges will pick their favorite and the winner will be announced on Monday, October 31, 2011. (And let's not get all nit-picky about haiku. For the purpose of this contest we're defining a haiku as a three-line poem with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 syllables in the second and 5 in the third.)

The winning entry will receive a Zombie Prize Package including:

• AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION/BLACK SHEEP Double Feature DVD
• BIO-DEAD DVD
• STRIPPERLAND DVD
• Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion by Alan Goldsher
• The Zombie Factory: 27 Tales of Bizarre Comix Madness from Beyond the Tomb!
• Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and Zombie Jim by Mark Twain and W. Bill Czolgosz
• RIGOR MORTIS #4
• ER: Revenge of Print Edition 2011 (upon publication)
• AMC's The Walking Dead t-shirt
• Autographed vinyl single of outlaw country singer Christopher Murdock's song "Fear the Dead"

You can enter as often as you like but only one entry per e-mail. Entrants must be 18 years of age or older. Each entry must include haiku and e-mail address where we can contact you if you are the winner.

Thanks to Louis Fowler, Deadvida, Damaged Hearing, Damaged Viewing, Rigor Mortis, B-Movie.com, AMCNetworks 'The Walking Dead' for participation, sponsorship and support!

31 Days of Fright!: HORRIBLE (1981) is Ready for the Big Game of American Football

One of my favorite aspects of Eurotrash cinema is its often absurdist interpretations of American culture. Especially football or, as HORRIBLE calls it, "American football". While THE LAST MATCH probably serves up my fave Eurotrash use of "football as plot device" thanks to casting real life jocks – including future Hall of Famer Jim Kelly as a member of a pigskin commando squad that raids a foreign prison run by Henry Silva, in full pads and helmets no less – Joe D'Amato's monster-slasher flick HORRIBLE employs footage from Super Bowl XIV during key parts of the flick. So put on your best suit, grab a heaping plate of spaghetti and get ready for the big game of American football.

There's a lot to love about Joe D'Amato's HORRIBLE (aka ABSURD, MONSTER HUNTER, ROSSO SANGUE), a 1981 Eurotrasher starring cult legend George Eastman (BLASTFIGHTER and HANDS OF STEEL to name a few of my favorites) as a superhuman cross between Frankenstein and Michael Meyers run amok in "America". 

First up, there's the tag-team of Eastman and D'Amato, whose much-hyped ANTHROPOPHOGUS (aka GRIM REAPER) left me cold though they make up for it here. With a script by Eastman and direction by D'Amato that focuses on the violence and tension (while keeping his usual itchy sketchy sleazery in check), HORRIBLE calls to mind the 80s slasher wave (nods to John Carpenter's genre-defining HALLOWEEN abound) while pouring on the price-of-admission blood & guts sequences that put asses in the seats. Heads are pierced with drills, table saws split noggins, eyes are violated with sharp implements and a gruesome, violent struggle ends with a woman's head roasting in a hot oven. Youch!

On top of the flick's bloody monster-on-the-loose plotline the flick serves up more than the usual allotment of Eurotrash absurdity. Turns out that Mikos (Eastman) is an escapee from a Greek lab where he had been under the watchful eye of a priest (Edmund Purdom of PIECES). Somehow, Mikos – who has a blood disorder that makes him quick to heal – has made his way to "America" with Purdom's character in hot pursuit, though I don't believe it's ever explained how Mikos got to America or how the doughy, middle-aged Purdom could ever catch the athletic Eastman.

As their unbelievable film-opening chase comes to an end (with Purdom stopping every now and then to clutch his chest!), Mikos ends up disemboweling himself on the fence outside the home of the Bennett family, a well-to-do clan saddled with Tommy, the requisite annoying Eurobrat (Kasimir Berger) and his paralyzed sister Katia (real-life sister Katya Berger). After escaping from the hospital where doctors and nurses marvel at his recuperative powers, Mikos ends up back at the Bennett house after being involved in a hit and run with the Bennett patriarch! Though not before dispatching Michele Soavi in another of his 80s horror cameos (CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD, DEMONS).

Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Bennett aren't home because it's the night of the big game of "American football" and they're down the street at a friend's house dressed in their Sunday best. Eating plates of spaghetti as they watch Super Bowl XIV! With the Bennett kids, their babysitter and Katya's nurse at home alone, Mikos goes into full-boogieman mode.

Okay, so they're not so much "nods" to HALLOWEEN as they are "direct lifts".

But, for everything there is to love about the flick it ultimately fails to deliver on the promise that it holds. Sure, there are bloody set pieces galore but many of them feel like they're apeing better slices of Eurogore like Lucio Fulci's GATES OF HELL (aka CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD). And while Eastman strikes an athletic and imposing figure as a boogieman (check out his Pumas!), he eventually elicits more titters than tension as he shambles about the house groping for his victims. Add in lackluster pacing, a handful of deathly dull stretches, and the game but miscast Purdom as the Dr. Loomis/Baron Frankenstein character and HORRIBLE ends up being a five-star flick trapped in a three-star body. – Dan Taylor

HORRIBLE is available for purchase at Amazon.

We receive a small commission for purchases made through this blog. Thanks for your support!

31 Days of Fright: BLOODY BIRTHDAY (1981) Wants to Know If Anybody Knows What the Word 'Murder' Means

Welcome to (Sorta) Slasher Friday here at ER's continuing 31 Days of Fright. Admittedly, BLOODY BIRTHDAY isn't really a slasher flick but given its early 80s pedigree, attempt to tap into the genre's always-popular "holiday" theme and Arlen Ober's FRIDAY THE 13th-tastic score I couldn't help but break out Severin's new DVD for a refresher course on this slice of killer kids trash.

There are times when I re-watch something I screened during the early days of ER when I can't believe I loved or hated a particular flick. In some cases – BURIAL GROUND, for instance – my feelings about the flick have gone from love to hate right back to deep, unwavering love over the course of two-plus decades of trash film appreciation.

BLOODY BIRTHDAY, however, is not such a flick. Whether I'm sitting in the Budco Millside in 1986 watching it on the big screen or catching up with it some 25 years later thanks to Severin's new DVD, my attitude towards it is pretty much the same – it's a highly recommended and fun time-waster that coulda been so much more.

Originally released in 1981, BIRTHDAY starts off like many a slasher flick that jammed theaters and drive-ins in the wake of HALLOWEEN/FRIDAY THE 13TH. An ominous "ten years ago" pre-credit sequence announces the birth of triplets during a complete solar eclipse and it isn't long before a couple of horny teens are strangled, bashed and buried alive in "present day" 1980.

Is there – as the townspeople and Sheriff Brody (Bert Kramer) believe – a psycho on the loose? Could it be little Timmy (K.C. Martel), who evaded questions from big sis Joyce (Lori Lethin) about his whereabouts the night Duke and Annie literally took a dirt nap?

Nope, it's exactly who you think it is – Debbie (Elizabeth Hoy), Curtis (Billy Jacoby) and third wheel creep Steven (Andy Freeman). Turns out the solar eclipse caused the creepy trio to be born without consciences, so they think nothing of slaughtering everyone from family members and horny teens to pesky Timmy and nosey Joyce, the only "grown up" who seems capable of figuring out that the kids are behind the bucolic suburb's inexplicable and explosive homicide rate.

Co-written and directed by Ed Hunt, BLOODY BIRTHDAY has a ton going for it. It's paced like lightning, features a liberal sprinkling of lightweight gore, and is helped along admirably by gung-ho performances from devil face Debbie and pistol-packing Curtis, who gleefully stalks the streets at night like a tiny Son of Sam.

As an added bonus there's a healthy dose of top-notch nudity featuring a pre-MTV Julie Brown (EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY) who dances around nude for several minutes while her sister runs an amateur peep show ring from her bedroom closet. (Other familiar faces who pop up during the film's 85 minute running time include Jose Ferrer as the town doctor, Joe Penny as a teacher who may or may not have designs on boinking Joyce, and a bleach blonde Michael Dudikoff as Brown's mono-syllabic boy toy.)

On the other hand, if you like 'em so bad they're enjoyable BLOODY BIRTHDAY won't let you down in that department either. There are laughable lapses in logic, every adult is a trusting boob, the killer kids do everything but wear shirts that say "Murderer", and the two one person on the police force appears to be lethally incompetent. Unfortunately, for all the good will it builds with homicidal adolescents dressed like The Phantom from THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN trying to run down their babysitter, the flick's lackluster conclusion always leaves me disappointed.

Unsatisfying ending aside, Severin's new BLOODY BIRTHDAY disc gets my highest recommendation. The flick is the perfect time-waster for an evening of trash viewing and the sight of Debbie trying to strangle a classmate with her jump rope or Curtis blasting away at a cranky teacher never grows stale. Lori Lethin pops in for a good-natured interview featurette, director Hunt contributes an audio interview and I can't imagine any previous home video release of the flick has ever looked this good. – Dan Taylor

BLOODY BIRTHDAY is available from Amazon.com.

We receive a small commission for purchases made through this blog. Thanks for your support!

31 Days of Fright: Wanna Date? FRANKENHOOKER (1990) Wants to Know!

I originally thought that the move from DVD to Blu-Ray would be an excuse I could use to upgrade from my current VHS/DVD deck to a Blu-Ray machine with WiFi. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't seem to buy the argument that "all this stuff is coming out on Blu-Ray" so I need to invest in a player. Until I wear her down I'm happy to have folks like Chuck Francisco of The Midnight Cheese who are willing to checkout stuff like Frank Henenlotter's awesome slab of 90s trash, FRANKENHOOKER.

Not many films have the balls to just lay it all out there for you in the title. This is especially true when the film in question is a horror-comedy depicting a crazed electrical genius who attempts to reconstruct his mulched fiancé from the body parts of 42nd Street working girls – who themselves exploded after smoking his vice-pioneering "super crack".

The electrical genius in question is Jeffery (played by James Lorinz), a wholesome Jersey boy, devoted fiancé and full-time tinkerer. In fact, it is his tinkering which sets this whole tragedy spinning in the first place. You see, Jeffrey modifies a gift for his soon-to-be-father-in-law, turning an ordinary gardening tool into a remote-controlled, fiancé-dicing implement from hell.  Still, no harm-no foul, until well-meaning daughter Elizabeth plays with the remote control while her back is to the mower. Yup. Particularly funny is the completely tactless reporter covering the story of the birthday gift gone awry.

As you can imagine, this tragic turn of events sends Jeffery into a depression spiral. He's determined to bring Elizabeth back, but he only managed to save her head – the rest of her body was so badly destroyed as to be unusable. Applying liberal amounts of drill bit to stimulate his own higher brain functions (c'mon folks, the flick's called FRANKENHOOKER), Jeffrey comes to the conclusion that if he can find a prostitute with the perfect body, kill her with his super-powerful version of crack, attach his beloved's head and hit that body with a record thunderstorm's blast of electricity, then everything will be right as rain.

As you can imagine everything doesn't go as planned. The prostitutes find Jeffery's super crack, wrestle it off of him and street walkers explode like it's the Fourth of July.

While James Lorinz's performance is exceptionally hysterical, once she's reanimated from a mish-mash of prostitute parts, Elizabeth's (Penthouse Pet Patty Mullen) awkward stumbling, shuffling, jerky Frankenstein monster movements and crazy, twisted lip, spasmodic motor-mouth becomes the center ring attraction. It seems that mixing up so many hookers wasn't such a good idea as Elizabeth's first impulse is to take the subway to 42nd Street and look for a paying john.

I'm not even doing FRANKENHOOKER's plot justice. It's absurdist to the 10th degree and completely hysterical. It's the type of film you subject unsuspecting friends to and for which they love you (most times). There isn't a better time to consider checking it out than with this Blu-Ray release. The transfer is from vault archives and looks fantastic. There are a few scenes where there's a very slight, barely noticeable texture to the look. I mostly noticed this during the scenes in Jeffery's New Jersey home, but oddly not during the scenes in his garage-based science lab. If anything, it adds to the film in my opinion. It's almost like a filter over the film, painting a sharper contrast between normal life and the lives of those in the 42nd Street scenes. The electricity effects look wonderful and really pop in every instance. It makes we want to watch WEIRD SCIENCE on Blu-Ray to see if the same is true there.

However, not everything was meant to be seen it quite this high a clarity. Some things which would otherwise blend in fine stick out here just a little more than they otherwise would. Two things specifically caught my attention, both during the prostitute party scene. The first is a serious case of cottage cheese ass that I don't remember being visible in my VHS copy. The second is that the ten frame switch between the prostitutes and their exploding dummy bodies is clearer and those bodies look a little papier-mache-like. These little gripes are small potatoes when stacked up against the chance to own FRANKENHOOKER in such a clean, sharp release.

There are a few nice special features packed in for you to check out. A Salad That was Once Named Elizabeth is a question and answer session with Patty Mullen, who played Elizabeth/Frankenhooker. She has a fun time answering the questions and is still very pleasing on the eyes There's also a very enlightening make-up effects featurette entitled A Stitch in Time. Surprisingly, the most compelling bonus features center on Jennifer Delora. You might remember her from the hooker party scene as Angel, the working girl with the curly red hair. The interview with her quickly devolves into her ripping on her co-stars without holding back. This is the kind of good stuff that we rarely get to see on a modern release and there's also a collection of Ms. Delora's photos from the set, which provide a cool insider look behind-the-scenes of this 20th century trash classic.

FRANKENHOOKER on Blu-Ray will be available to add to your collection on November 8th. WANNA DATE? – Chuck Francisco


We receive a small commission for purchases made at Amazon through this blog. Thanks for your support!

31 Days of Fright!: It's Slasher Friday with FRAT HOUSE MASSACRE (2008)

Welcome to Slasher Friday here at ER's 31 Days of Fright! Today, long-time ER contributor, Divine Exploitation publisher and NAHUM author Doug Waltz checks in with a look at Synapse's new disc for the 2008 retro slasher homage FRAT HOUSE MASSACRE.

It's 1979 and Sean (Chris Prangley) and his brother Bobby (Rane Jameson) have had a hard life. Their parents were killed when they were young. But, they were taken in by the loving Miss P and she gave them everything they could ask for. Now, it's time for the two boys to head off to college and join Delta Iota Epsilon.

But, before they can get there, Bobby gets in a horrible car accident and lies in a coma. Sean returns to his fraternity to find that things have changed. The hazing rituals have turned lethal. When he tries to stop it he is murdered, but at the exact second of his death Bobby snaps out of his coma.

Now, Bobby goes to school, but he isn't there for an education. He's there for revenge.

While I was watching this I couldn't believe how well it had been done. I'm an old fart and remember 1979. They got a lot of this spot-on and you could almost believe that this was some undiscovered slasher flick from the late 70's. The clothes, the cars, the speech. All of it rang true. Sure, you could nitpick some of it, but why bother? It's supposed to be fun.

I have always said that all slasher flicks have to have boobs and blood to be effective, and that still holds true. But, there are other things that make an effective slasher flick. Gory set pieces, bad acting, a feel of it being shot in a small town with people you have never seen in a movie before. This hits on all counts. Even Jon Fleming as the sadistic frat president, Mark, manages to chameleon himself in such a way that you don't recognize him right away.

Here's my one nitpick.

These guys in the frat kill all their pledges. What will happen when they all graduate? If they are supposed to be the top fraternity in the school then you know that their charter is going to question why there have been no new members in a while. I realize that this is nitpicking a slasher flick, but it really bothered me throughout the flick. I needed a better reason than the non-answer we were left with.

As I was checking out the special features it mentioned director Alex Pucci's previous film, CAMP SLAUGHTER. I thought if this was this good then an homage to camp slasher flicks would be even better.

I was right.

Years ago I reviewed a flick called CAMP DAZE. I really liked that one as well. They retitled it CAMP SLAUGHTER for release.

We might want to keep an eye on this Alex Pucci fellow. He seems to be making movies just for me. – Doug Waltz

Buy FRAT HOUSE MASSACRE at Amazon.com.

We receive a small commission for purchases made at Amazon from this blog. Thanks for your support!

Warren/Marvel Comics and MIDNIGHT MARQUEE Back Issues

Now that the summer is over we're back in auction mode in our attempt to clean house. Be sure to check out our current slate of auctions featuring:

• Warren Publishing's late-70s sci-fi/UFO/alien comics
• Marvel Previews MAN-GODS FROM BEYOND THE STARS
• Warren Publishing's adult fantasy comic '1984'
• Ten back issues of MIDNIGHT MARQUEE from fall 1983 through spring 1997

All auctions start at 99 cents and we gladly combine shipping for multiple items won.

Thanks Steve!

ER co-founder Lou "The Gonster" Goncey and I hard at work on ER #2 in front on my Mac. And a pair of Pee-wee Herman Giant Underpants. (Photo by Nancy Rokos from a Burlington County Times article, October 1986.)

I'd be remiss if I didn't take a moment to acknowledge the passing of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs.

Were it not for Jobs and the Apple Macintosh I'm not 100% sure you'd be reading this blog.

In the summer of 1984 I was getting ready to start my freshman year at Drexel University in Philadelphia. It wasn't where I wanted to go to college but my parents hadn't given me much choice. On top of that they were making me commute from our home in New Jersey and the school was making me buy some stupid computer.

We had a computer at our house, I reasoned. A big, boxy PC thing that took floppy disks the size of 45 RPM singles, made a colossal amount of noise, displayed green type on a black screen, and couldn't compete with my Atari 2600 as far as gaming was concerned.

Why did I need another computer?

Actually, I believe my exact words – as I pulled the computer from its box – were, "What the f#*k am I supposed to do with this thing?"

It would take a few years before I really figured out what I was supposed to do, but it's safe to say that the discovery that I could take that thing – which had been "upgraded" to 512K with an external floppy drive – and make publications was pretty eye-opening.

Pretty soon my friends and I were writing, editing and publishing our own drive-in movie newsletter, getting written up in local papers, major dailies and national magazines, receiving movies and mail from all over the world... and just starting to see the potential held in that little box sitting on my desk in the photo above.

Publishing a zine led to a job in an ad agency which led to freelancing which led to creating catalogs which led to designing web sites which led to starting my own company which led to starting another company and, well, you get the idea.

For the last ten years my "office" has been wherever I set up shop and since 2007 I've been able to be home every day to help raise my daughter while I juggled everything from design and writing to on-line retailing.

All in front of a Mac.

Maybe if Jobs and the Mac hadn't come along somebody else would have invented something that made dreams and aspirations I didn't even know I had a reality. Perhaps. But for the ways he affected my life and the world around us, all I can say is, "Thanks Steve".

31 Days of Fright!: Linda Blair in GROTESQUE (1988)

When the package for ROGER CORMAN'S CULT CLASSICS: Vampires, Mummies & Monsters All-Night Marathon showed up in my box it was hard to hide my glee. Not only was the four flick set – now simply known as DVD Release of the Year – top-lined by the long-awaited DVD release of LADY FRANKENSTEIN (review to come) but it also included the trippy-looking THE VELVET VAMPIRE (whose poster art I'd seen in many trash film books and zines) and TIME WALKER (an alien-meets-mummy mash-up of which I had some vague recollections).

But it was the late 80s Linda Blair/Tab Hunter flick GROTESQUE that intrigued me most. How many times had I passed by the box in video stores? And why had I always assumed that the artwork featuring a trio of screaming faces indicated some sort of Native American monster movie a la MANITOU?

So imagine my surprise that GROTESQUE turns out to be the set's mind-blowing, head-scratching hidden gem of kitchen sink cinema.

Blair plays Lisa, the daughter of Orville Kruger (Guy Stockwell), a Hollywood special effects whiz known for his gruesome big-screen wizardry. When Lisa and her friend Kathy (played by ANGEL herself, Donna Wilkes) head to the family cabin in the mountains, it seems like the perfect getaway to relax and recharge the ol' batteries.

What they didn't anticipate was that a vanload of leather-clad, overly-made-up punks including guys named Scratch and Ear Box was on their way to the cabin as well, intent on cashing in on Kruger's big "secret". Was it money? Jewels? A mountain of coke?

I'll give you a hint. The flick is called GROTESQUE and it's none of the things mentioned above.

Once Scratch and his gang (which also includes future MANIAC COP star Robert Z'Dar) begin their traumatizing assault on the cabin's residents, director Joe Tornatore (probably better known as a 70s tv/movie bit player) doesn't seem sure where to go. Is GROTESQUE a monster movie? A home-invasion thriller? A black comedy? A chase film? Cinema's worst police procedural? A taut revenge tale?

Guess what? It's all of them! From lumbering mutants and cackling, over-the-top punks (one gal simply screeches like a chimpanzee!) to faux shocks, multiple-movies-within-a-movie, inept cops, brazen kidnappings and endings so offbeat and out-of-nowhere it'll leave you scrambling for the remote, GROTESQUE has something for everybody. Okay, so it's pretty light on the nudity and gore so sleazehounds might want to think twice, but for fans of offbeat cinema GROTESQUE is a must-see. – Dan Taylor

Buy ROGER CORMAN'S CULT CLASSICS: Vampires, Mummies & Monsters All-Night Marathon at Amazon.

We receive a small commission for purchases made at Amazon from this blog. Thanks for your support!

31 Days of Fright!: Ted Post's THE BABY (1973)

Editor's Note: I first became familiar with filmmaker Matthew Saliba when a copy of his excellent short AMY'S IN THE ATTIC arrived in my PO Box. Mixing two parts inspired giallo tribute and one part fetishism (with a splash of J&B), AMY is a great example of a grindhouse homage that works on every level. I'm happy to have Saliba joining the ER staff as a reviewer and I'm sure you'll enjoy the perspective he brings as both a fan of trash cinema and a filmmaker who clearly loves what he does. You can follow Matthew on Twitter and Facebook.

One of the reasons why the world of BDSM and Fetishism excites me is its complexity and eclecticism when it comes to discovering the many things that can turn a person on. For every foot fetishist, there's somebody into masturbating with sandpaper whilst being flogged by an 80-year old woman in leather and lace, gyrating to the tune of "Baby Elephant Walk" by Henry Mancini.

But enough about my weekend.

Fetishism is a kaleidoscope of psychological complexity that just begs to be given the cinematic treatment. And it's been given just that to varying degrees of success. However, even the best films are ripe with cliche and focus on the all-too stereotypical aspects of kinky sexuality. But once in a while, a film comes along that focuses on a very obscure fetishistic niche that blows the mind and shatters the boundaries of acceptability in the world of mainstream cinema. Ted Post's THE BABY is one such film.

Directed by the man who brought us BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES and MAGNUM FORCE (among others), THE BABY tells the story of Ann Gentry (Anjanette Corner), a social worker who volunteers to take on the case of the Wadsworth family, a demented quartet led by a domineering matriarch (Ruth Roman), plus daughters Germaine (Marianna Hall) and Alba (Suzanne Zenor) and "Baby," (David Manzy) a poster child for infantilism insofar as he's a fully grown man who acts like and is treated like a baby by his mother and sisters. After repeated visits to the household, Ann begins to suspect that all is not right with the Wadsworths and that Baby is being mistreated by his family who intend to love him but are not willing to give him the help that he needs in order to develop into a fully-functioning adult male. Her suspicions are proven to be just when the audience is given glimpses into the Wadsworth home where we see Baby being used as a sexual plaything by one of his sisters, getting electrocuted with a cattle prod by his other sister and serving as the butt of a series of verbal humiliation sessions from his mother. Ann takes it upon herself to save Baby and integrate him into a life where he can be with his own kind. Of course this won't happen without a fight. So needless to say, when she manages to successfully remove him from their home, the Wadsworth clan comes a calling, leading to a climactic battle with an M. Night Shyamalanian-esque final reel plot twist that forces us to reconsider everything we have just seen, in particular, the righteousness of Ann's cause.

THE BABY is a wonderfully twisted film that could only come out of the 1970s. This period in film history was by far, the most daring, innovative and conceptually experimental ever and as such audiences then (and now) have reaped and will continue to reap the fruits from this cinematic bounty. For all our talk about how we in the 21st century have come so far socially and artistically, we're incredibly repressed and constrained when it comes to our pathetic attempts to make sexually daring films. Ted Post takes themes of infantilism and incest and treats them with the kind of class and maturity you rarely see in horror films nowadays. This could have easily turned into a piece of cinematic schlock, but thankfully Post is far too accomplished a filmmaker to allow his material to deteriorate into superficial sensationalism. Instead, we get a story that's daring in subject matter, rich in subtext (themes of the lesser of two evils, the frustration that comes with laws protecting even the most horrible of parents, etc.) and genuinely unnerving in its characterization. It should go without saying that David Manzy is absolutely masterful as Baby. I've always maintained that a real actor is a man or woman who can completely immerse him/herself into a role at the expense of any personal or moral objections with the part or story and especially with their sense of self-consciousness. After all, if you're doing your job right, your friends and family who come to see your film will not see YOU up on the big screen, bur rather your character and as such you shouldn't be concerned with being embarrassed about what it is that the film requires you to do. With that definition in mind, David Manzy is bloody Laurence Olivier!

THE BABY is released on DVD through Severin Films who did a commendable job with the transfer. With the exception of some low-light scenes in which considerable noise is present in the blacks, the film looks stunning. The sound is thankfully presented in mono, which is the only way to properly appreciate a gem like this one. As far as extras go, they're unfortunately slim, but what we do get is satisfying in its own right. First off, there's the hilariously over-the-top and incredibly misleading trailer that makes THE BABY out to be a gruesome slasher film in the vein of H.G. Lewis. Then there's a pair of interviews, one with Ted Post who claims to not remember the film but somehow cranks out one anecdote after another about the production. The other interview is with David Manzy and it's the real highlight of the disc folks! As you can probably imagine, Manzy has chosen to distance himself from the production, going so far as to rechristen himself David Mooney in the time that's passed between the production and today. He regales us with a story about how he's now become a teacher but even a change in profession and name couldn't stop his students from discovering his past and in particular his participation in this film.

Needless to say, I highly recommend THE BABY. If you're into fetishes, there's plenty here to excite you. And if you're just looking for an excellent horror film to sink your teeth into, then they don't come any more transgressive than this one. – Matthew Saliba

Buy THE BABY at Amazon.com.

We receive a small commission for purchases made at Amazon from this blog. Thanks for your support!

31 Days of Fright: 2011 Style

It was only after reading good pal David Zuzelo's initial Halloween Horrors post that it dawned on me... today is October 1st.

D'oh!

I should really be more aware of this. My wife's birthday is September 30th and I'd already made mental notes to shift into official Can. Not. Wait.® mode for the fifth Exhumed Films 24 Hour Marathon which arrives in four weeks. (Seriously. Can. Not. Wait.)

And with the arrival of October comes The Return of 31 Days of Fright, our annual month-long look at things that go bump in the night. I started this themed outing back in 2008 and the first couple years went well. Lots of posts, links, reviews, trailers, news, etc.

Last year? Well, I really dropped the ball. And I'm not even sure why (though I have a good idea). But it looks like I never even got to the halfway point before things disintegrated.

So, I pledge not to let that happen this year. Thanks to our growing roster of contributors there should be a steady stream of content, plus I've been getting back into review mode. Then again, we all know how the Summer of ACTION! turned out.

Anyway, let's kick this off in style. With a classic. And let me be among the first to wish you a Happy Halloween!