Friday, November 26, 2010

DRIVEN TO KILL (2009)

I felt the need for some more turkey last night so I sat down to watch Big Steve's DRIVEN TO KILL. Always love it when he "acts". This time he's a Russian ex-mobster from New Jersey who now resides in California writing crime novels based on his former life using the pseudonym Jim Vincent. When he gets a call from his ex-wife that his estranged daughter is getting married he heads back to Canada, er, The Garden State even though he has promised his former rivals that he would not return. Further complicating matters is the fact that his daughter (a prosecutor) is marrying the son of one of his old Russian mob enemies.

A wedding day massacre sends the Siberian husky into a homicidal rage as he and his son-in-law-to-be battle their way through the New Jersey mob underworld to discover who is behind the killings and why.

If you've seen any of Seagal's revenge actioners you already have a pretty good idea how this one plays out... there's the cops on the trail of the staggering body count, lots of fights in bars and hallways, obvious double-crosses, and plenty of gunfights where guns jam or ammo runs out and somebody decides to attack Big Steve with some scissors.

As these flicks go it's actually not bad. The fights are better staged than a lot of the stuff from the SHADOW MAN, ATTACK FORCE, FLIGHT OF FURY period though not as much fun as the ass-kicking URBAN JUSTICE. Seagal looks huge and puffy so the fights are all shot at very close range but they do a decent job of doubling him and he can still whip his hands around and deliver a crunching kick when he needs to.

The impenetrable Russian accent he's saddled with is perhaps the flick's worst idea, as it renders his already mumbly dialogue style almost indecipherable at times.

While I hesitate to suggest that this heralds a return to form for ol' Steve, DRIVEN TO KILL is a perfectly enjoyable middle-of-the-road ass-kicker.

DRIVEN TO KILL is available for purchase from Amazon. It's also available via Netflix Instant View. You can read hundreds more reviews like this at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Judge Rules in Brody's Favor in GIALLO Suit

Here's the latest in the suit filed by actor Adrien Brody against the makers of GIALLO. According to THE HUFFINGTON POST, a judge on Monday ruled in Brody's favor and has blocked the sale or use of Brody's likeness in the promotion of the film until the remainder of his salary is paid.

U.S. District Judge Dale S. Fischer on Monday blocked the sale or use of Brody's likeness in "Giallo" until the Oscar winner's remaining salary is paid. The judge noted in her ruling that the actor was likely to prevail in his $2 million lawsuit against the filmmakers.

"At no point did I ever wish to be involved in a legal dispute, but after over a year of attempting to resolve this matter I was left with no other alternative," Brody said in a statement released to The Associated Press by his attorney Wednesday.

The actor sued Hannibal Pictures and U.K.-based Giallo Productions Ltd. in October, shortly before "Giallo" went on sale in the United States. In a sworn declaration, Brody claimed the filmmakers lied to him about the movie's financing and how much its Italian distribution rights were worth.

Turkey Day Terror! HOME SWEET HOME in 8 Minutes!

There are not a lot of Turkey Day terror flicks out there. And why not? The hot oil for deep frying, cooking twine, corkscrews and ALL THOSE KNIVES would seem to make it a natural. Alas, HOME SWEET HOME may be the only Thanksgiving slasher flick out there.

Check out Retroslashers.net for a quick appreciation of this forgotten horror flick (from a dude in Asutralia, no less) and an 8-minute recap of the oop flick.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

THANKSKILLING (2009)

Glad I gave this one a second chance after dozing off during it late last night. THANKSKILLING is like somebody's resume for their dream job at Troma and if that description doesn't totally turn you off then it definitely belongs on your holiday viewing list.

Five illogically-matched college kids (jock, slut, fat hillbilly, oversexed dork and nice girl with bad skin) all pile into Johnnie Jock's jeep and head home on Thanksgiving break. Unfortunately, a centuries-old talking homicidal turkey has been reanimated by dog pee (complete with "I'm pissed!" from the foul-mouthed fowl) and is on a murderous rampage.

In its short running time (it clocks in under 70 minutes), the flick manages to elicit howls of laughter, toss in some adult star boobs right off the bat, tweak a dozen or so horror cliches, repeat a Jon Benet Ramsey joke twice, pile on the cheap gore and even rip off SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.

Until Eli Roth delivers on his promise of a big-screen version of his faux trailer for THANKSGIVING, make room for this holiday classick on your b-movie buffet.

You can buy or rent THANKSKILLING at Amazon. It's also available via Netflix Instant View.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

THE BEYOND (1983)

Editor's Note: I first saw THE BEYOND under the more straightforward title SEVEN DOORS OF DEATH back when it played Philly's Budco Midtown. I had no idea what it was but any flick with a blurb from TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE scribe Kim Henkel was all the convincing I needed. What I saw blew my mind. This wasn't just another heaping helping of Spaghetti Splatter. No, Fulci had concocted something much more, a horrific dreamscape that was about as terrifying as gore cinema at that time could get. It wasn't long before I found out that the film was known – in its uncut version as THE BEYOND – and that a grey market bootleg of the Japanese laserdisc was available. For a price. A price I gladly paid. Fast forward twentysome years and not only is THE BEYOND available, uncut of course, on DVD but Turner Classic Movies is screening it in a week or so. I can't imagine waking up at 2 AM to find robotic flesh-ripping spiders on my tv screen as unearthly howls of "Ebon" wash over me. With that in mind we bring you Louis Fowler's review of this classic slice of Eurotrash horror.

It seems that, since just about everyone in the world of horror is so well aware of THE BEYOND, and, even more appropriately for me, everyone in the world of horror has already written their own opinions about it, that to add mine just seems, well, totally redundant. You might as well title this "Not Another THE BEYOND Review".

Keeping that in mind and having just watch Grindhouse Releasing's reissue, once again it strikes me just how – I need to capitalize this – TOTALLY FUCKING SCARY this movie actually is. I am a thirty year old man and it's one in the morning and I wish I could go sleep in my parents' bed. With the hall light on. With the night-lite on. With a gun, just in case.

Go ahead and laugh. I know that I'm supposed to be jaded and I know that, for most people, there's been scarier stuff released before and since, but, you know, serial killers and slashers and the like have never scared me. No-it's Hell that scares me. A Hell on earth; demons breaking through to our world, slaughtering us on an unholy rampage. Maybe it's the Catholic in me, but Satan, Hell, whatever, is really the only thing in film that truly terrifies me.

But you just can't through the Devil on the screen and expect me to be scared, otherwise THE DEVIL AND MAX DEVLIN would have made me urinate my shorts. Again. No, a truly scary, truly demonic film needs to have an aura, an atmosphere of evil, a sense of unholy dread, surrounding it to accomplish that. An otherworldly feel that has ideas and sequences that give off the impression that you are watching something wholly diabolical on-screen, something that wasn't meant for human eyes. A feeling of ominousness and pure fear that shadows the room when you watch it, causing you to turn the lights on half-way through and jump and any sound your house might make.

THE BEYOND is such a film. This is not some Italian cheese-fest; this isn't a Spaghetti joke. The images that Fulci puts on screen are nightmares-and I'm not talking about the gore. Gore is nothing special. It's the lovingly perverse way that he uses that gore, expelling all hope for the characters embroiled in it, that makes it all work. THE BEYOND is an extraordinarily hopeless film. It's a film that takes place in a world without God's mercy. It's a world that has forgotten God, allowing Hell to encroach and take root.

This loneliness from God and his salvation is pounded home in the final image when our main characters are left alone in a barren eternal wasteland, that I think is supposed to be Hell. It's the most shocking scene in the film and it doesn't have a drop of blood in it. It's the ultimate downer ending: the good guys have not only lost the battle but their souls as well and, because of their failure, have allowed Hell to claim the Earth. Cue credits.

I think the thing that really scares me is the way that Fulci, before I had even seen this film, had accurately captured many images from my own nightmares in this film. The desolate road with water on both sides and no land on the horizon; the way that even though there's light outside the inside of the house is very dark; eyes with no pigment; and a Hell that isn't made up of flame, but dust. Are these common dream images? I've had these images in my head for as long as I can remember; I dreamed them when I was as young as five. To me, this makes the film all the more foreboding.

This is part of Fulci's "Gates of Hell" trilogy, which included THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY and CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD. All three are so totally different than anything Fulci had really done, filled with such a sacrilegious fervor that you get the feeling that something must have had possessed him to create this trilogy, these pitch-perfect visions of Hell so perfectly. Were these the films of a demonic madman with a warning, or merely a vessel of dark visions, like say, a Hieronymus Bosch woodcut put to celluloid? Or, even worse, was it just the work of a guy trying to collect a paycheck?

In the end, we'll probably never know what made Fulci tick. We'll probably never know what was going on in his head to make his celluloid nightmares so potent. But, maybe the more we use them to interpret our own fears, the closer we'll get to an answer. Either way, it's time to get my ass to church.

You can read this review and hundreds more like it at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

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ER Thanksgiving Comic & Movie Mag Auction

It's hard to believe that we're still finding things to auction off... I must have gone to more garage sales and flea markets than I remember!

Our Thanksgiving Comic & Movie Magazine Auction is underway at eBay and we have a bunch of great titles available, all starting at 99 cents with low Buy It Now prices. Auctions include Video Watchdog, Warren's action film mag Screen Thrills Illustrated, Famous Monsters of Filmland, several Marvel Preview titles, a trio of Creepy issues including one with a Frank Frazetta werewolf cover and more.

Highlights include a fine copy of Rampaging Hulk #2 in which the Hulk takes on The X-Men in the streets of Paris as well as the premiere issue of Spacemen, the science-fiction movie mag from James Warren and Forrest Ackerman, publisher/editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland.

Another great item up for sale is a copy of the 1971 hardback comic collection Batman with Robin the Boy Wonder from the 30s to the 70s. This 1971 hardcover from Bonanza Books collects more than twenty-five stories and fifty original cover reproductions (including thirty-seven full-color covers) tracing the development of The Dark Knight from his days as a solo act to the introduction of Robin and Bat-Girl all the way up to the more mysterious and dark adventures of the 1970s. Includes adventures with The Joker, Riddler, Superman, Batwoman, Two-Face and many more plus a bibliography, guide to Batman in other media, and an introduction by E Nelson Bridwell, editor and writer of the Batman newspaper strip. This a hard-to-find and awesome collection that belongs on the shelf of any Batman fanatic.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Happy Birthday Richard Dawson

As a 70s kid, Richard Dawson was a frequent guest in my house. Thanks to constant reruns of Hogan's Heroes, his role as a cheeky panelist on the snarky Match Game and finally as the one and only true host of Family Feud, I bet he was in your house a lot, too.

While reading Dawson's bio on-line this morning, I was surprised to read that he was married to Diana Dors, often billed as "the English Marilyn Monroe".

Genre fans probably remember him best for his role as Killian in the Arnie actioner THE RUNNING MAN based on the Bachman book by Stephen King (trailer below). This one always reminded me a bit too much of Fulci's NEW GLADIATORS but the role was definitely tailor-made for Dawson.

ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH (2009)

I loves me some sasquatch/bigfoot/yeti pop culture. Whether its Lance Henriksen and his team tromping through the Pacific Northwest to rescue his missing daughter in the underrated SASQUATCH (aka THE UNTOLD), Paul Naschy channeling his inner werewolf to battle the abominable snowman in NIGHT OF THE HOWLING BEAST (aka WEREWOLF VS THE YETI), or even a beer, comic or toy inspired by the mythical beasties, you say the word and I'm there.

So when ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH showed up in my mailbox it went right to the top of the "Dan" review pile. And I know what you're saying. You took one look at that box and you said to yourself, "Wow, they're trying to make it look like ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13... but with Bigfoot."

Guess what? It is ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 WITH BIGFOOT! And I loved every last minute of it!

While some redneck poachers are out bagging game they accidentally stumble onto the elusive sasquatch, subdue it and get it into their Poacher Mobile. The hastily-hatched plan has grizzled leader Drake (Kevin Shea complete with eyepatch and a persona that channels the likes of Tom Atkins, Lee Van Cleef, George Carlin and James Coburn) getting in touch with a big game collector client who would love to add the cryptozoology find to his game preserve.

Unfortunately, a couple nearby small-town cops nab them at their nocturnal hunting and decided to haul them and their cargo back to a nearby precinct that's under renovation. A train wreck down by the river has the precinct's already small staff stretched thin, so when the sasquatch escapes from the van and begins his titular assault on the precinct it's time for ex-big-city cop Ray (Greg Nutcher) to step up and help his old pals and new enemies hold down the fort.

Naturally, there are some unfortunate details complicating matters, including Ray's college-aged daughter Jess (Sarah Ahearn) stopping by to pick up the car from her over-protective pop, the appearance of a convict whose brother was killed by Ray after a botched home invasion... at Ray's house (!), and a pair of Bigfoot nerds who follow and videotape the hairy beast as he spies on busty Latinos and stomps the occasional chihuahua.

The highest praise I can pay ASSAULT is that it reminds me of THEY BITE from Brett Piper. More entertaining than it has any right to be, ASSAULT (like THEY BITE and MANSQUITO) finds just the right balance of no-budget exploitation inventiveness, gory effects and crazy humor. Don't be fooled by the no-name cast and improbably high-concept, um, concept.

ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH delivers far more than it promises... and then some! This is one viewer who is definitely looking forward to BANSHEE from the same folks. Check out trailers of both films below.





ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH is available for purchase from Amazon. You can read this review and hundreds more like it at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

We receive a small referral commission for items purchased through our links. Thanks for your support.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Friday Quick Hits

A number of news tidbits and notes to report on this morning, though some may be expanded into larger posts over the next week. Let's get started...
  • Legendary 20th-Century Fox exec William Self died at the age of 89. As a kid growing up in the 70s, Self's work as a production executive had a profound effect on me. Not only did he help bring two of my all-time favorite shows to television – the 1960s Batman and the small-screen adaptation of M*A*S*H – but he also reportedly had a hand in everything from The Twilight Zone and Lost in Space to Land of the Giants and Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.
  • For all the buzz that AMC's The Walking Dead is getting from genre fans, FOX's Fringe is still my pick for the best, most riveting show on the air. And last night's episode – which cleverly placed Olivia at the center of a serial kidnapping case in the alternative universe – was directed by Chuck Russell. If you haven't watched it in a while, Russell's excellent 80s update of THE BLOB is currently streaming in widescreen via Netflix. Check out our review at the ER website.
  • Also streaming is THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE: THE FIRST SEQUENCE. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go out of my way to rent this one, but it'll be tough to resist its icky appeal in my Instant View queue. If you're not sure if CENTIPEDE is right for you, date night or the upcoming Thanksgiving family gathering, check out Casey Criswell's review at the ER website.
  • Like lurid horror comics and magazines? Did your parents throw out all your old issues of Creepy, Eerie and Tales of Voodoo? Or, were they like my parents who simply forbade me to read the mags, along with seemingly arbitrary household bans on KISS and Planet of the Apes? I've recently gotten my hands on two excellent, beautifully (and luridly) illustrated books about the sinister comics and mags that clogged newsstands for years. THE HORROR, THE HORROR looks at the history of horror comics while THE WEIRD WORLD OF EERIE PUBLICATIONS delves into the history of the magazines and comics. Both are huge and eye-popping and will receive more detailed write-ups as I make my way through them. I'm also hoping a copy of FOUR-COLOR FEAR – which dispenses with the editorial and reprints horrific comic tales – shows up under my birthday tree.
  • Another TV fave returned this week and while I'm not sure how much I dig the expansion of the shows' core team, Human Target never fails to entertain. Each week it's like some forgotten, one-hour Cannon flick has shown up on my tv screen. If you haven't caught up with this breezy and well-done actioner be sure to check out the first season DVD set.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Happy Birthday Shari Shattuck

Happy 50th birthday wishes to actress Shari Shattuck. Best known for her recurring role on the daytime soap The Young and the Restless, Shattuck also dabbled in trashy cinema, including a small part in the wretched NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET (Cannon's hideous LETHAL WEAPON knock-off) and a starring role in POINT OF SEDUCTION: BODY CHEMISTRY III.

But I'll always remember her as Liles, the right hand man and ruthless executive assistant to Jennings (Michael Caine) in the brilliant and woefully misunderstood ON DEADLY GROUND.


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Roth to Produce CLOWN After Seeing Mock Trailer

I think we can all agree it sounds like a high concept Full Moon idea for a flick (or ten of them) – party clown fails to show for his kid's birthday party so dad puts on a clown suit and makeup he finds stashed in the basement... but he can't take it off and starts transforming into, well, an evil clown.

But when Eli Roth saw the mock trailer for CLOWN (which has the balls to use Roth's name in the trailer and in the credits as director) he decided that he'd rather set the film up as a feature than sue.

Admittedly, I was snickering at the concept as I read the article and couldn't help but think of, well, Full Moon's KILLJOY series. But the mock trailer evokes shades of Cronenenberg's THE FLY and we all know that few things are as creepy as those damn clowns. Check out the mock trailer below.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

November ER Update Features Blood, Beasts and More!

While I didn't anticipate our latest update taking quite so long to pull together, I think you'll find that it was worth the wait.

The Exploitation Retrospect update for November features twenty-five all-new reviews ranging from the latest in urban sasquatch adventures (ASSAULT OF THE SASQUATCH) and boob-centric "sequels" (LOOSE SCREWS: SCREWBALLS II) to Eurotrash classics (THE BEYOND), low-budget shockers (LIGHTS CAMERA DEAD) and outrageous zombie mash-ups (DON'T WAKE THE DEAD).

Visit the site now to enjoy them all as well as hundreds more reviews of genre classics, undiscovered gems and pure trash. We'll also be rolling the reviews out here over the next few weeks for the enjoyment of those who dig daily doses of junk culture and fringe media.

Intervision Unveils Initial DVD Offerings

When the press release from Intervision showed up in my mailbox I thought that I'd somehow tapped into a time-traveling communication system. I mean, seriously, would you check out that logo?! It looks like something I'd have seen oh, I don't know, six- or seven-hundred times during the 80s and 90s while I was sprawled on my couch drinking beer and watching trashy films.

But, no, Intervision is actually a new DVD cult company headed up by Larry Gold., Sr. an early leader in the world of VHS distribution who has had his hand in bringing tons of genre offerings to fans. Despite having relocated to Thailand almost a decade ago, the opportunity to unleash cinematic mayhem via DVD was too great for Gold to resist.

The label will kick off its initial slate of releases after the first of the year with two Jess Franco flicks, 1970s THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF followed by PAULA-PAULA, the Eurotrash vet's Jekyll-and-Hyde fever dream. According to their press release, the company has also acquired rights to the serial killer flick THE SECRET LIFE OF JEFFREY DAHMER and two 1970s Ozploitation classics, AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK and THE ABCs OF LOVE AND SEX. Both titles were helmed by John Lamond and the discs will feature commentary tracks with Lamond and NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD director Mark Hartley.

With the genre DVD business what it is these days, I'm happy to see labels like Intervision and Midnight Legacy popping up. Let's hope they stick around a long time!

Monday, November 08, 2010

Happy Birthday Parker Posey!

Happy 42nd birthday wishes to indie darling Parker Posey. Frankly, you can have all her hipster indie flicks, I'll take her role in the savagely underappreciated JOSIE & THE PUSSYCATS any day.

Admittedly, I had my doubts about the J&TP flick going in. After all, this is a movie based on a cartoon show that grew out of side characters in the Archie comics. That's like making a movie based on Lenny and Squiggy.

Director/writer duo Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont could've taken the easy road (ala SPICE WORLD) and run the characters of hard-rockin' guitar chick Josie (redheaded cutie Rachael Leigh Cook), aggressive bass player Val (the Pam Grier-in-waiting Rosario Dawson), and dopey-but-sweet drummer Melody (husky-voiced Tara Reid) through some mindless, boring affair aimed at who knows what audience.

Instead, they theorized that by mixing some clever looks at pop culture and product placement with a zany, over-the-top world domination scheme they'd attract a bigger audience. Or, at least as many people as went to see the first AUSTIN POWERS flick. (Unfortunately, this theory didn't hold much water and JOSIE opened in 7th place at the box office – whatever following it does have is probably due to the repeat viewings on cable and/or home video.)

With #1 boy band DuJour (featuring Seth Green and the guy from ROAD TRIP in hysterical turns) MIA after stumbling onto subliminal messages in their songs, evil record company flunky Wyatt (Alan Cummings looking like a cross between Pee-wee Herman and Robert Downey, Jr.) is charged with the task of finding another band to carry said messages to the youth of today, or he'll be at the mercy of Fiona, the evil record company exec (played with sinister glee by birthday gal Posey). The pair remind me of Richard Grant and Sandra Bernhard in HUDSON HAWK, another underappreciated, ahead-of-its time gem.

Stumbling across Josie and pals at an intersection, Wyatt puts plans into action and the girls find themselves whisked away where they shoot to the top of charts, battle dissension within their ranks, make hot videos, and wear a seemingly-inexhaustible supply of cute outfits.

Hell, there's even a sweetly romantic subplot between Josie and Alan M (played by some guy who looks JUST like a young James Spader!) that captures the maddening, sick-to-my stomach wonder of telling the person you love how you really feel about them. Of course, it all comes to a head on the night of the big concert where good side and bad side play tug-of-war the likes of which hasn't been seen in a rock 'n' roll flick since KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM!

If you had told me that I'd come out of this flick praising it as a wondrous, damn sexy, hilarious blend of the first AUSTIN POWERS, Russ Myers' BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS and HUDSON HAWK, I'd say you were too busy huffing aerosol. Yet, here I am, saying just that.

Josie and the Pussycats. Breakin' records, breakin' hearts... indeed.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

CHUPACABRA TERROR (2004)

I should know better. I was so excited by the low-budget, science-gone-awry fun of MANSQUITO/MOSQUITO MAN that I forgot my Crap Detector the next time I went to the video store. Which is how I ended up with the awful CHUPACABRA TERROR, the kind of film that gives the phrase "straight to video" a bad name.

Oh sure, it starts off well enough, whipping through the simplistic set-up in about 15 breezy minutes: A scientist (an almost unrecognizable Giancarlo Esposito) nets a mythical chupacabra (sort of like a Latino Bigfoot, only meaner) while on a hunt in South America. Surprisingly, it seems the best way to transport the creature is on the luxury liner captained by a slumming, ageless John Rhys-Davies (didn't he make ANY money appearing in a five of the biggest-grossing films of all-time?) who has put in a call to a military pal (Dylan Neal) in order to snare an on-board thief.

Within minutes of setting sail, the chupacabra is loose and no passenger – thankfully – is safe, including a creepy gigolo, the old lady with the dog (no points if you see this coming), and Rhys-Davies' daughter, who appears to be a teenager, yet is the ship's kickboxing instructor and flirts with both Esposito and Neal. Um, okay.

Unfortunately, once those 15 minutes are up the remainder of CHUPACABRA TERROR (yes, I just like typing the word "Chupacabra") is pure, slow-moving torture. A low budget is one thing, but a script that has Espositio say "I've trapped it before, I can trap it again" THREE TIMES just isn't trying hard enough.

While there's a bit of gore, lots of spraying blood, and the occasional chunk of mystery meat falling from the chupacabra's mouth, it's not enough to endorse this rubbish. And how come the monster, which hustles about with cool sped-up motion early in the flick, conveniently moves at a laborious pace whenever the plot demands?

Buy CHUPACABRA TERROR at Amazon. You can read this and hundreds more reviews like it at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

We receive a small referral commission for items purchased through our links. Thanks for your support.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Awesome Herzog Shirt Spotted at Exhumed

Spent last weekend parked in a seat at the Exhumed Marathon IV where we watched everything from THE HOWLING and William Castle's BUG! to the mind-blowing BOARDING HOUSE and Fulci's HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY (full wrap-up to come). Alas, no Kinski (again) but I did see this awesome Herzog shirt while we were finding our spot in line. You can order it – and other great tees – from MondoTees.

FREEWAY (1996)

I originally tracked FREEWAY down because of my love for Brittany Murphy in the wake of flicks like the underrated actioner DRIVE and the slasher flick CHERRY FALLS. Not your run-of-the-mill teen starlet, Murphy had an impressive acting range to match her sex appeal – too bad it all ended so tragically. She's only in this post-modern take on Little Red Riding Hood for a few minutes, but even then she still makes an impression as a scarred, horny reformatory inmate.

Instead, this one is Reese Witherspoon's show from start to finish. She stars as Vanessa Lutz, a piece of poor white trash whose Momma (Amanda Plummer) gets pinched turning tricks while her crack-smoking stepdaddy (TV's 'The Pretender') puts the moves on her in their motel bedroom. With Momma and "Daddy" on their way to the pokey, Vanessa ditches the woman from child services, grabs a gun from her boyfriend (Bokeem Woodbine), and heads on out to see Grandma (Kitty Fox) at her trailer park home.

Things don't go the way they planned and the next thing you know she's fending off Bob Wolverton (a pre-24 Kiefer Sutherland), a harmless-looking youth counselor who just might be a notorious serial killer.

Honestly, to say much more about FREEWAY would be to give away too many of its violent, funny twists and turns. Writer/director Matthew Bright's script is chock full of whacked-out characters, disturbing visuals (the scene of a post-attack Sutherland being wheeled into court by wife Brooke Shields is a thing to behold), and jarring mood swings that'll make you sit up and take notice.

And Witherspoon, who recently found herself at the top of the summer box office heap thanks to LEGALLY BLONDE, continues to get high marks in our book. This tough-talking trailer-park gal is a far cry from her role as Tracy Flick in ELECTION, but it comes off as no less genuine.

Buy FREEWAY at Amazon. You can read this and hundreds more reviews like it at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

We receive a small referral commission for items purchased through our links. Thanks for your support.

Friday, November 05, 2010

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY

Much like the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino original, FDTD2 suffers from a massive identity crisis.

While #1 was an enjoyable, if not particularly memorable, "family hijacked by gun-toting sociopaths" thriller that unfortunately ran into the butt-end of a Grade-D straight-to-video vampire howler, #2 has similar issues. Directed by Scott Spiegel from a Spiegel/Duane Whittaker script, the flick sets us up for a South of the Border bank heist complete with a team assembled by Buck (rhymes with "hard luck") played by today's birthday boy, Robert (T2) Patrick.

But when the heist's brainchild stops in at The Titty Twister go-go bar (reprising its role from #1) and offers the bartender (MACHETE himself, Danny Trejo, reprising his role from #1) a ride, things take a turn for the schizophrenic.

What makes this half-hearted yawner such a total disappointment is that there IS some talent at work on both sides of the camera. Spiegel worked on the original EVIL DEAD, an influence that rears its ugly head during the vampire death effects that pepper the final 30 minutes. Rodriguez and Tarantino — who only act as Exec Producers along with Lawrence Bender despite what you may have read — have resumes that speak for themselves. Bo Hopkins (THE WILD BUNCH and about 100 other flicks) co-stars as the cop on the gang's trail. And Patrick, a decent actor who doesn't deserve being in shitstorms like this and STRIPTEASE, does an admirable job as the lone non-vampire in the gang. Too bad he's asked to stand around, look confused and get tossed into the nearest wall, pole, car, etc.

FDTD2 shoots itself in the foot by being nothing more than a straight-to-video dud with little or no imagination. Luckily I wasn't expecting much more, so I guess I can't bitch. However, pity the poor folks who rented it on the mistaken belief that '90210' vixen Tiffany Amber-Thiesen was a featured star. Instead, she and Bruce (EVIL DEAD, 'Xena') Campbell get offed in the flick's opening horror-movie-within-a-heist-flick-within-a-horror-movie.

Buy FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 2: TEXAS BLOOD MONEY at Amazon. You can read this and hundreds more reviews like it at Exploitation Retrospect: The Journal of Junk Culture and Fringe Media.

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