Friday Trash Update

New reviews posted at the ER website this morning including:

• Two 1960s Gothics... Severin's excellent new NIGHTMARE CASTLE disc and the Legend House THE TORTURE CHAMBER OF DR. SADISM disc
• A double dose of WWII Kinski action... CHURCHILL'S LEOPARDS and SALT IN THE WOUND (aka THE LIBERATORS)
• The short flick CANNIBAL FLESH RIOT and the Asian ghost story anthology VISITS
• A trip through the peeps of yesteryear with THE JOHN HOLMES COLLECTION
• Plus, Tony Marsiglia's SUZIE HEARTLESS, the SIX FEET UNDER-ish JUST BURIED, and Severin's disc for THE HAIRDRESSER'S HUSBAND
  

EUROCRIME Documentary Trailer

For me, one of the most entertaining of all Eurotrash genres has to be the Eurocrime movie. Taking their cues from successful American films like the Dirty Harry pictures and THE GODFATHER, Italian producers and directors imported American actors like John Saxon, Fred Williamson, Charles Bronson, Telly Savalas, Chris Mitchum and Henry Silva and created their own over-the-top, violent, frequently stunt-filled epics that rarely fail to entertain.

Check out this awesome trailer for Mike Malloy's upcoming documentary EUROCRIME: THE ITALIAN COP AND GANGSTER FILMS THAT RULED THE 70s. Ignore the "Preview Unavailable" caption and click away!

QUICK TAKE: TAKEN (2009)

Chris and I rented TAKEN last night and I have to say it's a pretty perfunctory, pedestrian "gotta get the girl back" actioner. Liam (DARKMAN) Neeson is great as the world-weary former special-ops who retires to be close to his daughter, but the flick has zero twists or turns and basically takes us from point A to point B in a pretty straight line. They even intro a bunch of Neeson's former ops buds and blow the opportunity to bring them back into the flick once the daughter is taken.

And, speaking of the daughter, Maggie Grace's performance has to go down in the annals of film history as one of the most deluded takes on a 17-year-old in history. (Grace was born in 1983 making her almost 12 years older than the character she's playing.) Unless I missed something and she's supposed to be a highly function special needs kid, her spasmodic running about, arm flailing and inane giddiness is so far removed from any 14-year-old I've ever met, let alone 17-year-old, that we burst into laughter almost everytime she's on screen.

Frankly, it's pretty much the same flick as Seagal's BELLY OF THE BEAST and though more accomplished it's probably less fun.

CONAN Gets a Director and I Don't Mean O'Brien

Okay Conan fans. Is this one of those devil you know is better than the devil you don't situations? Rumored CONAN director Brett Ratner is apparently out of the director's chair and has been replaced by Marcus Nispel who helmed the recent TEXAS CHAINSAW and FRIDAY THE 13TH reboots.

I wasn't particularly impressed with his TCM remake and the combination of my frenzied (at the time) schedule and the less-than-stellar word-of-mouth kept me away from theaters when F13 was showing, though I will be checking it out when it hits DVD next week.

In the right hands I think a sword-and-sandal epic like CONAN could be a super fun time at the movies but I'm just wondering if this is the right cat for the gig.

However, as good buddy Neil Vokes pointed out to me elsewhere, Nispel did direct the Vikings vs. Indians flick PATHFINDER and "he's got the cinematic grit and brutality thing going for him".

LateMag Picks Five Spags Not Directed by Leone

Lists, lists, lists, everybody has lists.

Earlier this week it was Nazi Flicks to See Before BASTERDS, now LateMag has a small (maybe too small) list of Five Spaghetti Westerns Not Directed by Sergio Leone.

You'll get no argument from me that THE GREAT SILENCE is "one of the greatest Spaghetti Westerns ever made". I love the stark, snowy setting, the mute hero, the cool gun, and especially one of Klaus Kinski's best ever performances as the aptly named psychotic bounty hunter Loco. If you're ever gonna be scared by a guy in a frilly girly shawl, this is the guy.

I don't agree with the final pick on the list (the much discussed and in my opinion highly overrated BULLET FOR THE GENERAL) or the author's dismissal of the entertaining BLACK KILLER as "low rent" but I guess we'll just have to wait for my list!

Louis Fowler's DEVASTATOR Tour '09: THG Style

Ever wonder what it's like to spend a day eating your way around Baltimore with yours truly?

Louis Fowler does a pretty great job of capturing the high and low lights of his all-too-brief visit to Charm City including going to Attman's Lenny's for lunch, a visit to the one and only Atomic Books, and breaking crabcakes at Michael's Steak & Lobster House with yours truly and Smile Hon editor Patrick Tandy (aka The World's Most Prolific Zine Publisher).

As my daughter would say, "Check it!"

Nasty Nazis: 15 WWII Flicks to See Before BASTERDS

Saw the trailer for QT's new flick again the other day and the big screen presentation didn't do anything more to excite me for it. Now comes word that the Weinstein's are pressuring him to cut the flick down to a more fanny-friendly 2-hour running time in advance of its August release Stateside. (Who knows how much truth there is to the rumor.)

In the meantime, FilmJunk posted their list of 15 WWII FLICKS TO CHECK OUT BEFORE BASTERDS and it features some fun Eurotrash including the excellent and entertaining FIVE FOR HELL starring John Garko and Klaus Kinski and currently featured over at Exploitation Retrospect.

I'd probably have put a couple more Klaus flicks on the list ('natch) including CHURCHILL'S LEOPARDS and SALT IN THE WOUND (which actually casts K2 as an American GI anti-hero) but that's just me.

PHANTASM II Finally Coming to DVD in US

"The ball is back!"

20 years ago those four words heralded the continuation of Don Coscarelli's mind-blowing PHANTASM series and probably could have saved me a lot of time had I paid more attention to my gut.

While walking through Philly with a girl I'd just started dating she started telling me about a movie she and her friend had seen that weekend and called it "the worst movie ever". I'd seen the same movie, with its ponytailed hero, flying orbs, yellow goo and head-scratching logic, and thought it was, uh, like "the best movie ever".

Had I read the obvious signs I could have saved myself about four years of grief and a couple friendships, but let's just say we don't always think with our heads.

Since that time the only way to see PHANTASM II in this country was via the out-of-print VHS release, a grey-market bootleg, an overseas DVD or – like I did this past fall – on the big screen. That will all change this fall with the first official DVD release of the film.

Which means that I'll have little to bitch about once this and Fred Dekker's amazing NIGHT OF THE CREEPS hit video later this year. No word on if the disc will feature anything more than the flick's theatrical cut but that'll be enough for me.